Opinions and advice needed!

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Brokennlost

Member
#1
Mar 31, 2016
70
5
8
#1
I have been having problems with my twin 18 year old grandsons they are different from each other but still there’s problems which I know at their age is normal but they will both be graduating this year from high school and one grandson was following Jesus and was so responsible, always at church, serving and just doing great but once he started having around certain friends he changed to conform how they are, and recently 2 weeks ago got his 1st girlfriend, he says she’s perfect but doesn’t want her to meet us or see her or her family at graduation . She’s in college already and has had other relationships so she’s more experienced than he is. To top it off he doesn’t want his mom or dad to go because he wants to give the tickets to the gf and her parents. He told his twin that he’s embarrassed of us so doesn’t want her to meet any of us because shes white and we are Mexican american. I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m obviously hurt but don’t know what to say. Opinions or advice? I know Jesus wouldn’t like that behavior
 
Gideon300

Gideon300

Well-known member
#3
Mar 18, 2021
6,030
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Frankston, Victoria
christianlife.au
#3
Brokennlost said:
I have been having problems with my twin 18 year old grandsons they are different from each other but still there’s problems which I know at their age is normal but they will both be graduating this year from high school and one grandson was following Jesus and was so responsible, always at church, serving and just doing great but once he started having around certain friends he changed to conform how they are, and recently 2 weeks ago got his 1st girlfriend, he says she’s perfect but doesn’t want her to meet us or see her or her family at graduation . She’s in college already and has had other relationships so she’s more experienced than he is. To top it off he doesn’t want his mom or dad to go because he wants to give the tickets to the gf and her parents. He told his twin that he’s embarrassed of us so doesn’t want her to meet any of us because shes white and we are Mexican american. I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m obviously hurt but don’t know what to say. Opinions or advice? I know Jesus wouldn’t like that behavior
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He's 18 and legally independent, at least where I live. Interfering in adult relationships can be a disaster. I know that from experience. All you can do is pray and ask God for wisdom. Many young people go off the rails, only to return later. You can ask God to protect him as much as possible, but he is no longer a child and God respects man's free will
 
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Brokennlost

Member
#4
Mar 31, 2016
70
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#4
Gideon300 said:
He's 18 and legally independent, at least where I live. Interfering in adult relationships can be a disaster. I know that from experience. All you can do is pray and ask God for wisdom. Many young people go off the rails, only to return later. You can ask God to protect him as much as possible, but he is no longer a child and God respects man's free will
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What I meant was how should I feel about him being embarrassed of us for his gf to meet us because we are Mexican and she is white. That’s not interfering in his relationship that’s trying to understand why he would be embarrassed of his family just because she is a different race than ours and him
 
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ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
#5
Jan 17, 2023
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#5
Brokennlost said:
What I meant was how should I feel about him being embarrassed of us for his gf to meet us because we are Mexican and she is white. That’s not interfering in his relationship that’s trying to understand why he would be embarrassed of his family just because she is a different race than ours and him
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There is no other way to feel than deeply hurt. I would sit down and talk to him about it and let him know his opinions are not only hurtful but extremely immature. I would also take any graduation gift I had planned to give him back or donate it. If he didn't want my presence, he wouldn't be getting my presents. Simple as that. Yes, he's an adult, so he needs to be treated like one and needs to see reality. He's acting like a spoiled little child.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
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#6
Brokennlost said:
What I meant was how should I feel about him being embarrassed of us for his gf to meet us because we are Mexican and she is white. That’s not interfering in his relationship that’s trying to understand why he would be embarrassed of his family just because she is a different race than ours and him
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That's normal. They usually grow out of it after a while. Hurts like crazy until they do though.

A friend was telling me just yesterday that back when he was a kid his older brother was going to the movies with a girl, and he asked momma to drop him off a little ways out and he would walk the rest of the way. Turns out he didn't want the girl to see his family.

A few minutes later he got back in touch with momma and said, "Momma you forgot to give me my money." His mother replied, "Momma who?" His date had to pay for their movie that night.
 
Tall_Timbers

Tall_Timbers

Well-known member
#8
Mar 31, 2023
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Cheyenne WY
christiancommunityforum.com
#8
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 11:1

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11

“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you delight.” – Proverbs 29:17

“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.” – Proverbs 19:18
 
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Brokennlost

Member
#10
Mar 31, 2016
70
5
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#10
Lynx said:
That's normal. They usually grow out of it after a while. Hurts like crazy until they do though.

A friend was telling me just yesterday that back when he was a kid his older brother was going to the movies with a girl, and he asked momma to drop him off a little ways out and he would walk the rest of the way. Turns out he didn't want the girl to see his family.

A few minutes later he got back in touch with momma and said, "Momma you forgot to give me my money." His mother replied, "Momma who?" His date had to pay for their movie that night.
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Yes I know I’m trying not to take it personal. I still love him and pray for him and his siblings daily
 
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