Do men love?

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E

Edith

Active member
#1
Apr 21, 2025
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#1
Since I was young I have always thought men don't love or if they do the mask it up. it may be because I never really felt loved by my Dad. But I am curious to know if men feel what women feel, the sense of wanting to belong

Another dumb question I have is, who should ask the other out? The other day my
my pastor was advicing me; Edith you can ask a man out you know? He is desperate than I am and do not understand my fears. However, should a woman ask a man out if yes how?
How do you identify a man you can ask out?



my thoughts this evening
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#2
Sep 17, 2018
4,230
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#2
Yes, they do. One of my favorite examples is my own parents.
My mom got really sick and was sick over a decade, getting worse and worse. My dad did everything he was able to to take care of her. He never relented, or even considered it. He even retired early to take care of her.
She died eventually. Over twenty years later I remember my dad saying how much he still loved her, a would even get teary eyed.
Not to mention when they got married she had three children already, that were out of control.
She gave him full dad permissions and he disciplined them into shape.
Those three children (my step brother and sisters) grew up seeing him as their dad, not their stepdad, because he treated them as if they were his own.
One sister died a few years back and my dad would go into his room at night and you could hear him weeping and moaning about her death. Not even his biological child.

So yes, men do love. It's likely a bit differently than women, but at the end of the day, love is love.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#3
Aug 28, 2012
21,029
3,405
113
#3
They do men are just terrible at expressing it sometimes men prefer to use their actions rather than words. as for who should ask out who that depends on the people sometimes a man feels obligated to do so sometimes the women is the one who has the courage to do so either way really it is whoever has the courage to do it first.
But fear of rejection or what the person would say and how they react is almost always the thing that keeps people from being together.

For instance since I am a man I should by my standards have the courage to ask a women out but I am not like other men I am not a many man I feel more than most men do I like to cuddle and talk about feelings I am a sensative and emotional person and have this sense of innocence about me for this reason I fear rejection and though I have a secret crush here in cc( no spoilers) I do not have the courage to ask her out
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#4
Jul 7, 2022
11,594
5,049
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#4
Edith said:
Since I was young I have always thought men don't love or if they do the mask it up. it may be because I never really felt loved by my Dad. But I am curious to know if men feel what women feel, the sense of wanting to belong

Another dumb question I have is, who should ask the other out? The other day my
my pastor was advicing me; Edith you can ask a man out you know? He is desperate than I am and do not understand my fears. However, should a woman ask a man out if yes how?
How do you identify a man you can ask out?



my thoughts this evening
Click to expand...

I can see how you would wonder if men actually love. It seems very rare to see genuine compassion expressed during times of grief.

The Bible says to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. This indicates that empathy is expected with believers.
I've seen way too much stoic cold indifference in people professing Christ. Even a lost person should have compassion as a normal trait. The month I lost my Dad and months following, I wondered what happened to my friends. It was the hardest burden up to that point and let people know how rough it was. The typical response was to change the subject. I wasn't going around and making them feel uncomfortable with open emotions crying or anything either.

When Mom was murdered I wondered what happened to most of my local friends? I've tried to be a blessing,
love them like family and have provided a lot to enrich their lives, but the reciprocal brotherly love was missing. It was like there was some sort of normal compassion removed. I didn't take it personally. It just seems like this has been the norm since I was a young child.

I think we have a reasonable expectation from those "close to us" to reach out, or at very least respond to a friend/ family who has experienced many grave traumas that nearly killed him. A little bit of simple compassion might have saved someone from an awful lot of harm.
However, I must remember and certainly do appreciate the things that they have done at other times and appreciate them for the unique people God created. When I focus on that, I have a much better outlook.

So yes, many men seem to express no love except for themselves. The same seems quite true of many women.

Why is this the case? I have a few theories.

That said, Jesus even experienced this with His disciples at the most extreme time of need.
 
E

Edith

Active member
#7
Apr 21, 2025
123
38
28
#7
Subhumanoidal said:
Yes, they do. One of my favorite examples is my own parents.
My mom got really sick and was sick over a decade, getting worse and worse. My dad did everything he was able to to take care of her. He never relented, or even considered it. He even retired early to take care of her.
She died eventually. Over twenty years later I remember my dad saying how much he still loved her, a would even get teary eyed.
Not to mention when they got married she had three children already, that were out of control.
She gave him full dad permissions and he disciplined them into shape.
Those three children (my step brother and sisters) grew up seeing him as their dad, not their stepdad, because he treated them as if they were his own.
One sister died a few years back and my dad would go into his room at night and you could hear him weeping and moaning about her death. Not even his biological child.

So yes, men do love. It's likely a bit differently than women, but at the end of the day, love is love.
Click to expand...
So nice! and touching
I will send this to my dad if you permit me
 
E

Edith

Active member
#8
Apr 21, 2025
123
38
28
#8
HealthAndHappiness said:
I can see how you would wonder if men actually love. It seems very rare to see genuine compassion expressed during times of grief.

The Bible says to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. This indicates that empathy is expected with believers.
I've seen way too much stoic cold indifference in people professing Christ. Even a lost person should have compassion as a normal trait. The month I lost my Dad and months following, I wondered what happened to my friends. It was the hardest burden up to that point and let people know how rough it was. The typical response was to change the subject. I wasn't going around and making them feel uncomfortable with open emotions crying or anything either.

When Mom was murdered I wondered what happened to most of my local friends? I've tried to be a blessing,
love them like family and have provided a lot to enrich their lives, but the reciprocal brotherly love was missing. It was like there was some sort of normal compassion removed. I didn't take it personally. It just seems like this has been the norm since I was a young child.

I think we have a reasonable expectation from those "close to us" to reach out, or at very least respond to a friend/ family who has experienced many grave traumas that nearly killed him. A little bit of simple compassion might have saved someone from an awful lot of harm.
However, I must remember and certainly do appreciate the things that they have done at other times and appreciate them for the unique people God created. When I focus on that, I have a much better outlook.

So yes, many men seem to express no love except for themselves. The same seems quite true of many women.

Why is this the case? I have a few theories.

That said, Jesus even experienced this with His disciples at the most extreme time of need.
Click to expand...
Oh dear sorry for your Pain, may our good God give you the comfort you need.
Yes you are right. Please do not keep me hanging on the theories
 
E

Edith

Active member
#9
Apr 21, 2025
123
38
28
#9
Blain said:
They do men are just terrible at expressing it sometimes men prefer to use their actions rather than words. as for who should ask out who that depends on the people sometimes a man feels obligated to do so sometimes the women is the one who has the courage to do so either way really it is whoever has the courage to do it first.
But fear of rejection or what the person would say and how they react is almost always the thing that keeps people from being together.

For instance since I am a man I should by my standards have the courage to ask a women out but I am not like other men I am not a many man I feel more than most men do I like to cuddle and talk about feelings I am a sensative and emotional person and have this sense of innocence about me for this reason I fear rejection and though I have a secret crush here in cc( no spoilers) I do not have the courage to ask her out
Click to expand...
Blain dear I am sorry I thought of you as one of my gender. I will share a secret with you. Women love to be approached, they love it when a man asks them out, it makes them feel beautiful, wanted, important and even superior they may say no, but deep inside they are happy you did. so dear if she is single go for her if it's difficult take me as backup. 💪 waiting for good news😀
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
28,948
10,414
113
#11
Love is not an emotion. It is a decision.

The Bible commands us to love. It is not a feeling. It is something we choose to do. Or not.

For a man who has been raised to believe that real men don't show weakness, it's a hard choice to make. Love looks a lot like a weakness. But only if you don't know what real strength is.
 
E

Edith

Active member
#12
Apr 21, 2025
123
38
28
#12
Lynx said:
Love is not an emotion. It is a decision.

The Bible commands us to love. It is not a feeling. It is something we choose to do. Or not.

For a man who has been raised to believe that real men don't show weakness, it's a hard choice to make. Love looks a lot like a weakness. But only if you don't know what real strength is.
Click to expand...
Ok please let me get it. You make a decision to be with someone and .... I don't get the logic. can you please explain dear brother.
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#13
Jul 7, 2022
11,594
5,049
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#13
Words of Wisdom From Tucker

Tucker is living the dream since Fox News fired him. He said he's in his 50s living in his country home across from his Dad's grave, loves his wife and kids. Please pray that someone will lead him to Christ. I've tried on his comment section, but he needs a local soul winner to increase the chance of him getting saved.
 
E

Edith

Active member
#14
Apr 21, 2025
123
38
28
#14
HealthAndHappiness said:
Words of Wisdom From Tucker

Tucker is living the dream since Fox News fired him. He said he's in his 50s living in his country home across from his Dad's grave, loves his wife and kids. Please pray that someone will lead him to Christ. I've tried on his comment section, but he needs a local soul winner to increase the chance of him getting saved.
Click to expand...
Oh dear May the Lord hear You.
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#15
Mar 8, 2023
3,159
1,464
113
#15
Edith said:
Since I was young I have always thought men don't love or if they do the mask it up. it may be because I never really felt loved by my Dad. But I am curious to know if men feel what women feel, the sense of wanting to belong

Another dumb question I have is, who should ask the other out? The other day my
my pastor was advicing me; Edith you can ask a man out you know? He is desperate than I am and do not understand my fears. However, should a woman ask a man out if yes how?
How do you identify a man you can ask out?



my thoughts this evening
Click to expand...
certainly, men feel they want to "belong". i never felt loved by my parents because they treated us horribly. traditionally, men ask the women on dates. a woman will feel wanted just by that request. she'll feel likes she belongs already. also, excitement, smiles & attention will be experienced by her. since God made men the protector of women, it fits properly when a man asks a woman one a date. no, not a dumb question. i say in the Christian world, a lady asking a man on a date is proper too because all intentions are mature. seek Jesus for advice if you are interested in a man. ask for wisdom which God has given to all. my other advice is to consult some trusted lady friends of yours. see if anyone knows the guy. find out all you can before you ask a man on a date. rehearse how you would ask too.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#17
Sep 17, 2018
4,230
3,290
113
#17
Edith said:
Blain dear I am sorry I thought of you as one of my gender. I will share a secret with you. Women love to be approached, they love it when a man asks them out, it makes them feel beautiful, wanted, important and even superior they may say no, but deep inside they are happy you did. so dear if she is single go for her if it's difficult take me as backup. 💪 waiting for good news😀
Click to expand...
Not all women. Most of the women I've dated have either been the first to approach, or first to admit romantic feelings, or just show general signs of interest.
 
Mem

Mem

Senior Member
#18
Sep 23, 2014
7,773
2,387
113
#18
Subhumanoidal said:
Not all women. Most of the women I've dated have either been the first to approach, or first to admit romantic feelings, or just show general signs of interest.
Click to expand...
Ruth comes to mind, acting upon Naomi's direction to lay herself at Boaz' feet.
I think a girl should at least provide hints such as, "it would be just fine if you should wonder if I'd like to go with you to..."
And in regard to the belonging topic, a rabbi once observed how women are drawn to men in uniform because it signifies a sense of his belonging.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#19
Aug 13, 2014
28,948
10,414
113
#19
Edith said:
Ok please let me get it. You make a decision to be with someone and .... I don't get the logic. can you please explain dear brother.
Click to expand...
Maybe I misunderstood you. When you said love, I thought you meant love.

If you meant romantic sentimentality, mushy, gushy, sweep you off your feet stuff... Apparently some men don't feel or show that. But that's not love anyway.
 
E

Edith

Active member
#20
Apr 21, 2025
123
38
28
#20
Lynx said:
Maybe I misunderstood you. When you said love, I thought you meant love.

If you meant romantic sentimentality, mushy, gushy, sweep you off your feet stuff... Apparently some men don't feel or show that. But that's not love anyway.
Click to expand...
Laughing hard. what is mushy gushy🤣? I meant Acttions accompanying words. I have come to notice that relationships takes a lot of hardwork. It is this hard work I don't see.
 
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