How do Christian men feel about single mothers?

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Catlynn

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Now, first and foremost, I am NOT looking for a date or a pity party. lol
I'm wondering how guys who are sold out to Jesus feel about Christian women who have messed up in their past and are now single moms? Opinions, thoughts, viewpoints and general comments are all welcome! ^_^
 
It is through grace that we are all saved. As long as you are whole and following Christ, and putting him first, then you're good. To not accept you because of your past is to also in a way, to reject Christ. We have all sined, and look up to be led, hand and hand with our partner.
 
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Where I live we had this godless atheist character on the radio called 'Tom Leykis' that called himself the single man's 'Professor of dating' and taught men NEVER to date a single mother. He was wildly popular. Among the 81 radio stations in Southern California the show was #9 overall, #6 in English stations, and #1 for time spent listening. But among men ages 18+, adults ages 18–34, and ages 25–54, the show was #1 in time spent listening with an average of over 4 hours per week, in addition to being #1 for men in share aged 18+.

Crazy no? That's the world for you though.

As a Christian, I think it breaks down like this: date only committed, mature, Christian people of the opposite sex. If in the course of dating from this pool, you realize you made a mistake in your first impressions of them, God is leading you in a different direction, you discover you need to mature first, etc... ; break it off and start over when ready. That's it!

Follow the rules in scripture for relationships and I think it's hard to go wrong with this.
 
I don't feel any differently about single mothers than I do any other woman or mom. We all make mistakes and most times we learn from them. I know that in my life that some of the best lessons I've learned were the ones that I had to receive the hard way. I also tend to have sympathy for single moms just because I know how much responsibility and work is involved in raising a child.
 
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Catlynn said:
I'm wondering how guys who are sold out to Jesus feel about Christian women who have messed up in their past and are now single moms? Opinions, thoughts, viewpoints and general comments are all welcome
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It doesn't matter.

As a man I can't expect a woman to look beyond my past mistakes if I am not willing to do the same for her.
If anything it's a good thing in terms of what it says about the woman, she's doing an amazing thing, many parents, male and female don't do right by the children who are the products of their past decisions.

The only thought I really have when it comes to dating a single mother is being careful about how we progress, because there's a third person who needs to be considered and that has to effect the way dating progresses because a child should not see a procession of different men in and out of their life, I'd be careful about that.
 
We all mess up at some point (or in this case (in my case) in multiple points) We don't have an angry God who is constantly watching and waiting for us to do something stupid. We have God who loves us, no matter what. Jesus didn't judge or condemn people even when he had every right to do so, so how can we judge or condemn each other? well we can't. We can follow the way of our Saviour and love our neighbour, after all that's all that's ''required'' of us.
 
I'll just be blunt; if a girl is a single mother, I am way less likely to date her. However, if a woman has repented of being a fornicator, there is no reason spiritually not to date her; she has been redeemed just like all Jesus followers. I would just be less attracted to the idea of being with someone who has a baby that's not mine...
 
I still believe that God has that ''right for every one of us'' if we're patient enough to wait for it. I was raised up by a single mother, and my father, even though he was a Christian he never acknowledged me, for him I was always ''the bastard son'' so maybe that makes this whole comment invalid, I just want to tell you that God loves us, no matter what
 
Catlynn said:
Now, first and foremost, I am NOT looking for a date or a pity party. lol
I'm wondering how guys who are sold out to Jesus feel about Christian women who have messed up in their past and are now single moms? Opinions, thoughts, viewpoints and general comments are all welcome! ^_^
Click to expand...


Well, they are diffenately blessings to their children. I often wonder about the hell I put my mom through... And I can only think: love is patient and is kind. If anything I think those words are perfect for single parents who have to provide for their kids on a daily basis.
 
One thing i've learned over the years is to accept a person for who they are, not who they were, or what they did. While i'm not looking to have kids (for personal reasons) if i were to meet the right woman i wouldn't be bothered by meeting a woman who had a kid. No matter what the reason for their having a child. Any guy worth having wouldn't be bothered by it either, unless they had personal reasons, like myself.
The idea of being 'less attracted' to someone because its not 'your child' as someone else posted, is somewhat of a sad attitude to me. My mother had 3 children when my father married my her, yet it didn't matter whose kids they were. He loved my mom no less, and loved her children as his own.
 
Oh my! What a response. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions! I agree that any man worth being with won't have a problem with Kyla at all. I know that God has forgiven me and I give my all to Him on a daily basis now. I was just wondering how it might make a man feel. There have been times as a mom that I've felt shame and I guess...unattractive? But not because of looks but because I had a daughter. God has healed me inside and out and turned this consequence of sin into such a HUGE blessing! XD
 
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first off, children are awesome and can never be considered anything but a gift. Secondly, we all make mistakes and the beauty of Jesus is that He makes everything new- if we were to hold anything against anyone we ourselves would have our trespasses held against us. God bless :)
 
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AgeofKnowledge said:
Where I live we had this godless atheist character on the radio called 'Tom Leykis' that called himself the single man's 'Professor of dating' and taught men NEVER to date a single mother. He was wildly popular. Among the 81 radio stations in Southern California the show was #9 overall, #6 in English stations, and #1 for time spent listening. But among men ages 18+, adults ages 18–34, and ages 25–54, the show was #1 in time spent listening with an average of over 4 hours per week, in addition to being #1 for men in share aged 18+.

Crazy no? That's the world for you though.

As a Christian, I think it breaks down like this: date only committed, mature, Christian people of the opposite sex. If in the course of dating from this pool, you realize you made a mistake in your first impressions of them, God is leading you in a different direction, you discover you need to mature first, etc... ; break it off and start over when ready. That's it!

Follow the rules in scripture for relationships and I think it's hard to go wrong with this.
Click to expand...

Haha I had to listen to that guy everyday because thats what they listened to where I worked.

For the record, I love single moms and have dated a few.
 
Single moms?

Yes, ma'am.

---+---
That's being somewhat tongue in cheek (cheeky?) , but my standard answer to anything in life is this, Catty: The Lord leads
 
Catlynn said:
Now, first and foremost, I am NOT looking for a date or a pity party. lol
I'm wondering how guys who are sold out to Jesus feel about Christian women who have messed up in their past and are now single moms? Opinions, thoughts, viewpoints and general comments are all welcome! ^_^
Click to expand...


You are forgiven if you have confessed and repented :)

I come from a Family that almost EVERY female in my family had a baby outside of mariage. My Sister, when she was 15(i was 1 /12) etc.

The PAST is the PAST. If you are repented and living for GOD now, is what matters.

And as far as a single mother as a possible mariage partner, it would be up to GOD if it was HIS will, but if it was then it wouldnt be a bad thing, and i woudl love the Child like she was my own, becasue she would BE my own.

If in a marriage, TWO become one flesh, then YOUR baby, IS my Baby. I will never understand Fathers who still treat the child like a "Step" child.

So again, you have been given a new shot, AND you have the blessing of a beautiful little life to take care of. So May The LORD Jesus Bless YOU. and the man that HE has for you and your Baby. That Man that The LORD chooses, if this time you are but patient, WILL love you AND her, the same way He loves JESUS. God bless.
 
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