Biblical Polygamy?

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Jun 17, 2025
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#1
Polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, polyamory, I often use polygamy meaning polygyny, but it is an umbrella term that could mean all of them so I will try to say polygyny to be precise.

I think we can agree that only polygyny was practiced in biblical times among God's people.
The common belief is that God tolerated this but did not endorse or recommend it.
I know of one biblical example where God sanctioned Polygyny, but I would not like to reveal that yet.

In the case for Adam, God referred to his singleness as "not good" and made a helper "suitable for him."
Paul says that it is best to be single, that all men should be as he is. which makes tension between the two examples.
But I personally believe that some are called to be married, and some are called to be single.

The common belief, which I disagree with, is that Paul requires church officers (bishops/elders/deacons) to have only "one wife"

So, the question is what do we do with converts who are polygynists?
If you God into the third world or direct a ministry to a cult like the FLDS,
And a man who has three wives comes to christ, what is he to do with his three wives?
Common arguments I hear are:
1. Stay married, but cannot pursue officership.
2. must divorce all but one.
a. divorce we obligation to provide
b. divorce with obligation not to provide
3. Something else entirely that I have not though of?
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
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#3
No thanks. I got one wife and she is MORE than enough.

Don't wanna be hen-pecked.

I enjoy my quiet and peaceful life and lifestyle. More than one wife plus kids?
I'm outa there. Becoming a workaholic becomes really appealing.
 

lrs68

Well-known member
Dec 30, 2024
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#5
Honestly, we mostly see one wife and the wife's maids. These normally are not for the man but to help the wife because most groups of people were workers and helpers and the women kept em fed and such.

Jacob only had 2 wives because he was tricked. He only wanted Rachel but got Leah and had to work again for Rachel. In Jacob's heart he only had one wife. And the wives also had concubines or slaves. God only allowed Jacob's situation for the purpose of the 12 sons.

But in the genealogy and lineage we see one wife.

It was custom for kings to have multiple wives but God never intended Israel to have kings. Once you read Samuel and Saul you see God never wanted kings for Israel.

So basically Polygamy was more common among the ENEMIES OF GOD.
 
Jun 17, 2025
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#9
So, the question is what do we do with converts who are polygynists?
If you God into the third world or direct a ministry to a cult like the FLDS,
And a man who has three wives comes to christ, what is he to do with his three wives?
Common arguments I hear are:
1. Stay married, but cannot pursue officership.
2. must divorce all but one.
a. divorce we obligation to provide
b. divorce with obligation not to provide
3. Something else entirely that I have not though of?
 
Jun 17, 2025
89
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#10
Again I would like to make it clear, that I am arguing that a man can have more than one wife, not that he should have more than one wife. This conversation thread I created because you all wanted to talk about polygamy in the thread where I wanted to talk about the mandate for an officer in the church to be married. So this is the Pandora’s box that you have opened. I am hesitant to present my arguments on this topic because I feel that they can be used to assure men who are not called in that direction that they that they have an avenue to pursue polygyny. I have been clear most men should not.
 
Jun 17, 2025
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#11
So, the question is what do we do with converts who are polygynists?
If you go into the third world or direct a ministry to a cult like the FLDS,
And a man who has three wives comes to Christ, what is he to do with his three wives?
 

Suze

Well-known member
Mar 14, 2025
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#12
So, the question is what do we do with converts who are polygynists?
If you go into the third world or direct a ministry to a cult like the FLDS,
And a man who has three wives comes to Christ, what is he to do with his three wives?
U dont say wether or not any or all of the 3 wives convert to Christianity , u don't ask if a woman who has one husband but he has 3 wives converts , what should happen then . R the women irrelevant ? Do they not matter ? Do they only exist in the context of being a man's wife ? Sorry to b a bit contentious but , women r people to u know 😜 .
 
Mar 10, 2025
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Terra Firma (Earth)
#13
In Africa many converts have multiple wives and it is suggested they teach their children to have only one spouse, and not make the other wives be destitute by divorce and starve.

To reform with next generation.
 
Jun 17, 2025
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#14
U dont say wether or not any or all of the 3 wives convert to Christianity , u don't ask if a woman who has one husband but he has 3 wives converts , what should happen then . R the women irrelevant ? Do they not matter ? Do they only exist in the context of being a man's wife ? Sorry to b a bit contentious but , women r people to u know 😜 .
Thank you for your response, in this scenario the wives and the husband want to continue in this arrangement. The man is a convert not saying women are irrelevant, but to be inclusive let’s say two of the three women are also converts, this way, we still have the problem of believes not following the Edenic principle.
 
Jun 17, 2025
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#15
In Africa many converts have multiple wives and it is suggested they teach their children to have only one spouse, and not make the other wives be destitute by divorce and starve.

To reform with next generation.
Do you agree with this practice by the church in Africa? Do you think it aligns with biblical principles?
 
Jun 17, 2025
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#16
A sentiment that I have heard from multiple sources within my home congregation is that a man may not practice polygyny under any circumstance, so if he marries one, then two, then three women, he must divorce the second two and be obligated to the first. But then you have church require a form of divorce depending on whether it is a form of marriage. A gentleman, whom I respect said, that if a man has three wives and converts he must only be married to the first and then provide for the other two? I had two questions for him, 1 why is he obligated to provide for two plus women he is not married too? 2 what does the church do if he did not marry one first, but was initially married to more than one?

Just a reminder this topic of conversation you all wanted to talk about.
 

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
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#17
So, the question is what do we do with converts who are polygynists?
If you go into the third world or direct a ministry to a cult like the FLDS,
And a man who has three wives comes to Christ, what is he to do with his three wives?
FLDS plural marriages aren't recognized as legal in the US, so they're basically invalid except among the FLDS themselves. If a FLDS actually did convert, then maybe his first marriage would be the only blessed one; but it may not be legal either, depending on who married them.

Maybe first he could ask the wives if they want to stay with him, seeing that he has now converted. If some of them left voluntarily, that might be a way to thin the herd, so to speak.

I don't know about other cultures; I don't know how that would work.
 
Jun 17, 2025
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#18
So I will modify my analogy again, there is a convert from the FLDS who has three common law wives and a convert from Africa or the Muslim world who has three legal wives. Each wife has at least on child by their “husbands” all of them were married in one ceremony at the same time. Two of three wives for each man are also converts and they all desire to continue in this arrangement. How should the church address these two cases?
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,295
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#20
No thanks. I got one wife and she is MORE than enough.

Don't wanna be hen-pecked.

I enjoy my quiet and peaceful life and lifestyle. More than one wife plus kids?
I'm outa there. Becoming a workaholic becomes really appealing.
a bit off the mark but i am a workaholic, never had kids, never will & i made the right move in this as i love to be a busy bee!