What does the word 'love' mean to you, how should it be viewed in a relationship?

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GreenNnice

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The word 'love' is a many splendor word, or something like that. It gets used, abused, ridiculed, and, of course, mis-used. What is it about the word 'love' that is so perplexing? We could skip right to marriage, and, marrieds are welcome to volunteer their insight on this subject, but, from a single's perspective, why is 'love' so hard to understand . How did God intend the 'love' to be used in a relationship?
 
I don't have time to flesh out a full response right now, maybe i'll expand on this more later. For now, I'll just point out the following.

God IS love, thus why love is so perplexing. It's literally supernatural.

As for love in a relationship, I'll get to that later. :)
 
GreenNnice said:
from a single's perspective, why is 'love' so hard to understand
Click to expand...

On an inter-personal level I have a hard time understanding it because when someone tells me they love me (very rare) I instantly wonder why.
I think all people, but some more than others tend to focus more on what they percieve to be their own flaws, therefore a declaration of love is perplexing. I think Christians as a group deal with this more because a Christian is more critical and aware of their own mind for obvious reasons.

Add into that the word is massively over-used and mis-used by a society that has now devalued the word to such an extent that people no longer know what it ought to mean.
It has become that a genuine use of the word is something to be analyzed to find the sincerity, and analysis swiftly betrays the moment in which it was spoken.
 
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I know for me, for a long time, I had SUCH a hard time allowing people to love me. Friends, family, my ex boyfriend.....and then I realized that I was having such a hard time with those things because I didn't believe that God truly loved me. How could He? I am so worthless! But just in the past few months He has done SUCH a work in me! Accepting that He loves me and that He has placed a calling on my life that is IMPORTANT and knowing that He wants to use me despite my flaws.....man, WHAT A BLESSING.
Like a pp said, God IS love, and without Him I don't think we can truly love others the way that we need to.....or the way they need to be loved. Agape love, God's love....I believe is choosing for the higher good of God and His kingdom (others) everything else stems from that. I think that the reason so many people struggle with understanding love is because they don't know God the way that they should. When you walk with God and talk with God, I believe He shows you more and more of Himself and since He is love, it gives us greater understanding of the way He intended love to be. ^_^
That's just my two cents though. lol
 
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Love is sacrifice, it is commitment, it is compromise, it is patiences, it is kind, it is all things true. Love is a choice.
 
Matthew said:
On an inter-personal level I have a hard time understanding it because when someone tells me they love me (very rare) I instantly wonder why.
I think all people, but some more than others tend to focus more on what they percieve to be their own flaws, therefore a declaration of love is perplexing. I think Christians as a group deal with this more because a Christian is more critical and aware of their own mind for obvious reasons.

Add into that the word is massively over-used and mis-used by a society that has now devalued the word to such an extent that people no longer know what it ought to mean.
It has become that a genuine use of the word is something to be analyzed to find the sincerity, and analysis swiftly betrays the moment in which it was spoken.
Click to expand...
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Right, Matty, I agree, we see 'love' used in wrong ways and that puts a meaning to it in our lives that is twisted, artificial, contorted, desensitizing us to the beauty of what real love can really mean.

When we find true love then it startles us, shakes us even, because we are so used to the false kind. That is where God comes in , to wipe away all the false love out there and foundate us in the one true Love that will never let you down, His :) 's. When we listen to music, and, I am NOT saying secular music is of the Devil, we can be lifted to a world of worldly love by virtue of the lyrics in the song that subtly or outright blame God for bad love or songs are literally, Godless, speaking lines completely devoid of God the center of the love.

For us to understand true love, we must put God first in our life, before anything, and, of course, anyone else. Catty , you get it, too, when you said in an earlier post that you want your husband to love God MORE than you . Yes! Of course, that goes for you too, loving God the same #1 way.

Putting God first in our life will show us the real meaning of love , which is the love of God, the greatest love is from Him and He knows how powerful and important love is to the believer . Scripture verse talks about faith, hope, and, love. Hope, to me, doesn't mean that much, but faith , I used to think that was the most important of the three words . But, no, Jesus is clear on which of the three is of the most value to our spiritual lives : love :)
 
I believe that love is the amount you are prepared to do or suffer for the spiritual, emotional or physical benefit of those around you.
 
I think true love is a decision and not just an emotion. When I think about God's love for me I'm perplexed. He loves me regardless of my mistakes, my faults, my sins, etc. He decided to love me even though I'm unlovable. More often than not we love based on what we're feeling at the moment and when things don't turn out like we want them to, we want out. I think that in a relationship we should love the other person like God loves us: not focusing on what he/she gives me, how he/she makes me feel, etc. but rather deciding to love that person even if they sometimes are unlovable. Don't get me wrong the feeling is great to have and all but emotions are very volatile, they're here one day and the next they're gone. When you truly love someone (in my opinion), you accept and cherish everything about that person and decide to love them and stand by them no matter what happens.
 
Sarah88 said:
I think true love is a decision and not just an emotion. When I think about God's love for me I'm perplexed. He loves me regardless of my mistakes, my faults, my sins, etc. He decided to love me even though I'm unlovable. More often than not we love based on what we're feeling at the moment and when things don't turn out like we want them to, we want out. I think that in a relationship we should love the other person like God loves us: not focusing on what he/she gives me, how he/she makes me feel, etc. but rather deciding to love that person even if they sometimes are unlovable. Don't get me wrong the feeling is great to have and all but emotions are very volatile, they're here one day and the next they're gone. When you truly love someone (in my opinion), you accept and cherish everything about that person and decide to love them and stand by them no matter what happens.
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You can't do that, Sarah8s. There is a song by someone called 'Is your love strong enough?'
---
The answer is clear, and, keep in mind , please, this is speaking to Christians (believers in Christ) , not those that are not choosing God first in their life, the answer is 'NO.'

You're human love inside you for another human is NOT strong enough to buoy all the ups and downs of loving them through the bad times, and, things your partner does wrongly, and, it never will be strong enough :(

-----
This is one of my favorite phrases and it is not a verse from the bible, but it's meaning is clear: God is the ONLY one who will never let you down.

-----@------
Sarah8s, what you are speaking of in your above post is unconditional love for another human, which is on the right track and, YES!, you want to HAVE that kind of love for your partner in marriage, but it cannot come from within you EVER to get to that point of being able to love your partner unconditionally if drawing that energy from within yourself...

----()----
So, where to from must that energy come? And, how to from who must that energy come :D

From what you learned growing up about who, that's who.

From where that unconditional love boiling up inside you comes is where your heart will be also. From out of the heart and mind the mouth speaketh. So where and who should this unconditional love come from?

From Jesus in your mind and heart :) THAT is how, who, why, what, when, and, where perfect unconditional love must begin , in us, with a decision having been made inside the deepest parts (mind) and vitalest part (heart) of us. And, with that said, I hope that you all in your pursuit of relationships put Jesus and His teachings to you (through Holy Spirit) and scriptures and His father (your father too) in Heaven, and, the Holy Spirit tops on your list of who do you love, because EVERYTHING will spring forth in beautiful, utmost beautiful, splendor from attention to that way of viewing relationships in your life that will stand the test of human-time together for you and your spouse. :)
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Koopa, you are young kid, just take it all in with God speaking to.you with Love :)
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Aussiefather?

Absolutely, what we do in suffering for those around us speaks of true love and I truly believe that IF we cannot come to.love our enemies and we cannot learn to love others that persecute us and IF we cannot learn to love others that hurt us physically, emotionally, or, even, spiritually , then we cannot fulfill God's ultimate plan for our lives on Earth, which, in a sense, is burying our talents in the sand, choosing to, anyway, when, it would be sooo hard yet easy to choose loving others , getting to forgiving others , as Matthew 5:22 says we should do , and, Christ says we should do, cast all our cares and burdens on Him, for His yolk is easy and His burdens are light. :)
---
Bottom line: All WE need is love, God's love in us, and, (forget faith, and, sure IT can move mountains) WE can then create mountains that others will be able to live on, lives changed COMPLETELY by our love.

Song: They will know we are Christians by our Love, by our Love. Yes, they will KN-ow we are Christians by our Love.
---
God bless everyone, I hope, and, pray, that today God spoke to you with a great power of how great is His Love, for you (non-Christians too) and me :)
 
GreenNnice said:
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You can't do that, Sarah8s. There is a song by someone called 'Is your love strong enough?'
---
The answer is clear, and, keep in mind , please, this is speaking to Christians (believers in Christ) , not those that are not choosing God first in their life, the answer is 'NO.'

You're human love inside you for another human is NOT strong enough to buoy all the ups and downs of loving them through the bad times, and, things your partner does wrongly, and, it never will be strong enough :(

-----
This is one of my favorite phrases and it is not a verse from the bible, but it's meaning is clear: God is the ONLY one who will never let you down.

-----@------
Sarah8s, what you are speaking of in your above post is unconditional love for another human, which is on the right track and, YES!, you want to HAVE that kind of love for your partner in marriage, but it cannot come from within you EVER to get to that point of being able to love your partner unconditionally if drawing that energy from within yourself...

----()----
So, where to from must that energy come? And, how to from who must that energy come :D

From what you learned growing up about who, that's who.

From where that unconditional love boiling up inside you comes is where your heart will be also. From out of the heart and mind the mouth speaketh. So where and who should this unconditional love come from?
Click to expand...

I think you misunderstood what I said. God is definitely the only one who can completely love that way and I agree that He's the only one who will never let us down. But, we can strive to love like that. In the Bible there's a lot of verses referring to that type of love and we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. I've seen that kind of love in people around me and it stands the test of time. I never said that it should come from within us, as we don't know how to love that way. God is the one that equips us to do the impossible.
 
Love (as it pertains to God) = His will for my life is more important to me than my own
(because I know He only wants what's best for me and will use ALL things for good in my life)

Love (as it pertains to humans) = What is best for them becomes more important than what I want.

When these are true, the actions/attitudes set out re: love in Corinthians take root and become apparent.
 
GreenNnice said:
How did God intend the 'love' to be used in a relationship?
Click to expand...

Now to think about this part of your question......

I think this part of life comes down to what Sarah and yourself have said Green, I think God intended for us to keep him at the true centre of our relationship/marriage, because with hsi love is the only way we cannot fail.

It is an impossible standard for us to reach alone, hence why Christian marriages fail as readily as others when focus is put more on the individuals and their own desires rather than focusing on the needs of the relationship by having them satisfied through faith in God.
 
GreenNnice said:
----
You can't do that, Sarah8s. There is a song by someone called 'Is your love strong enough?'
---
The answer is clear, and, keep in mind , please, this is speaking to Christians (believers in Christ) , not those that are not choosing God first in their life, the answer is 'NO.'

You're human love inside you for another human is NOT strong enough to buoy all the ups and downs of loving them through the bad times, and, things your partner does wrongly, and, it never will be strong enough :(

-----
This is one of my favorite phrases and it is not a verse from the bible, but it's meaning is clear: God is the ONLY one who will never let you down.

-----@------
Sarah8s, what you are speaking of in your above post is unconditional love for another human, which is on the right track and, YES!, you want to HAVE that kind of love for your partner in marriage, but it cannot come from within you EVER to get to that point of being able to love your partner unconditionally if drawing that energy from within yourself...

----()----
So, where to from must that energy come? And, how to from who must that energy come :D

From what you learned growing up about who, that's who.

From where that unconditional love boiling up inside you comes is where your heart will be also. From out of the heart and mind the mouth speaketh. So where and who should this unconditional love come from?

From Jesus in your mind and heart :) THAT is how, who, why, what, when, and, where perfect unconditional love must begin , in us, with a decision having been made inside the deepest parts (mind) and vitalest part (heart) of us. And, with that said, I hope that you all in your pursuit of relationships put Jesus and His teachings to you (through Holy Spirit) and scriptures and His father (your father too) in Heaven, and, the Holy Spirit tops on your list of who do you love, because EVERYTHING will spring forth in beautiful, utmost beautiful, splendor from attention to that way of viewing relationships in your life that will stand the test of human-time together for you and your spouse. :)
---
Koopa, you are young kid, just take it all in with God speaking to.you with Love :)
-----
Aussiefather?

Absolutely, what we do in suffering for those around us speaks of true love and I truly believe that IF we cannot come to.love our enemies and we cannot learn to love others that persecute us and IF we cannot learn to love others that hurt us physically, emotionally, or, even, spiritually , then we cannot fulfill God's ultimate plan for our lives on Earth, which, in a sense, is burying our talents in the sand, choosing to, anyway, when, it would be sooo hard yet easy to choose loving others , getting to forgiving others , as Matthew 5:22 says we should do , and, Christ says we should do, cast all our cares and burdens on Him, for His yolk is easy and His burdens are light. :)
---
Bottom line: All WE need is love, God's love in us, and, (forget faith, and, sure IT can move mountains) WE can then create mountains that others will be able to live on, lives changed COMPLETELY by our love.

Song: They will know we are Christians by our Love, by our Love. Yes, they will KN-ow we are Christians by our Love.
---
God bless everyone, I hope, and, pray, that today God spoke to you with a great power of how great is His Love, for you (non-Christians too) and me :)
Click to expand...

Calm down dude!...as you said :God is the ONLY one who will never let you down.Then, I say : God is the ONLY one who can judging us. be careful :)

Btw..We should try to love others as God would do. Simple
 
Sarah88 said:
I think you misunderstood what I said. God is definitely the only one who can completely love that way and I agree that He's the only one who will never let us down. But, we can strive to love like that. In the Bible there's a lot of verses referring to that type of love and we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. I've seen that kind of love in people around me and it stands the test of time. I never said that it should come from within us, as we don't know how to love that way. God is the one that equips us to do the impossible.
Click to expand...
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Ok, but if God is in you, Sarah8s, how then does Love not come from inside of you. God is Love and His Love is in you, if you choose to harness and use it (bring it out of you) , and, you bring it out by developing your relationship with God more and more every day, as Catty said, excerpted from her post stated below.

When you walk with God and talk with God, I believe He shows you more and more of Himself and since He is love, it gives us greater understanding of the way He intended love to be. - Catty quote
------
God will show us how to Love that way (with an agape love) and not an Eros love, which is love of this world, that is 'Counting its lucky stars tonight.' :( (Sorry, I just saw a Cold Case episode and that song was in it and it so lovely speaks of the greatness of valuing someone else first in a relationship, valuing them maybe not even 2nd too) Eros love is all about two people getting together and doing things and being able to conquer anything all by themselves, which is an ultimate definition of sin, choosing someone over choosing Him, that is, choosing a relationship based on him than Him .

http://www.google.com/url?url=http:...d+case&usg=AFQjCNHIBpHHf4nE9FJWJco9j7Gb_LV1Cg

Our view of love in relationships needs to start with God even when God is not mentioned by name in song, even in the Katinas song below:

You will like this video IF you have never heard it before. Count your lucky stars God is talking to you right now :) God bless your love for Him that is great Love coming from deep within you, put there by Him .

Draw Me Close - The Katinas - YouTube
 
GreenNnice said:
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Ok, but if God is in you, Sarah8s, how then does Love not come from inside of you.
Click to expand...

I was just answering something you said and I used your own words. See below:

GreenNnice said:
but it cannot come from within you EVER to get to that point of being able to love your partner unconditionally if drawing that energy from within yourself...
Click to expand...

I'm not sure anymore in which part we are not agreeing on, as it seems we're saying the same things with different words.
 
Sarah88 said:
I was just answering something you said and I used your own words. See below:



I'm not sure anymore in which part we are not agreeing on, as it seems we're saying the same things with different words.
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Yes, Sarah8s, we are agreeing...as long as we are both saying that love cannot come from within our being, it must come from God being within us.

God bless you, young lady :)
-----

Rache7s, I am not judging anyone, I am simply explaining that in order to find true love for our life we must find the true Love inside us, that has been there since the day we were thought of being done and conceived (Psalms 139) . EVERYONE, christians and non-chrisitans, have that Love inside them, isn't that BEAUTIFUL ! , so, don't be afraid to love others with the love of God because you have God's Love inside you, inside your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit :)

Yes, what you say: love others as God says we should do. That is a great, great commandment. Well said.
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matty, yes, you're words are brilliantly said, God must be at the center of our lives, everything else, husband/boy friend/ family / friends / EVERYTHIING emnanates from this perfect CENTER of our lives :)
 
GreenNnice said:
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Yes, Sarah8s, we are agreeing...as long as we are both saying that love cannot come from within our being, it must come from God being within us.

God bless you, young lady :)
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree. God bless you too :)
 
Jullianna said:
Love (as it pertains to God) = His will for my life is more important to me than my own
(because I know He only wants what's best for me and will use ALL things for good in my life)

Love (as it pertains to humans) = What is best for them becomes more important than what I want.

When these are true, the actions/attitudes set out re: love in Corinthians take root and become apparent.
Click to expand...

--- a perfect definitiion, julieannie, quite a perspective of the differences of God's unconditional Love for us comparted to humans love for one another. The human love can never satisfy as we are all fallen and sinful sorts. But, God, who will never let us down, has ALWAYS our best interests at heart, with his agape Love, sinless, blameless, and... ALL for us. :)
 
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