I was reading about this topic somewhere else. I find it interesting. What do ya'll think?
Is it emasculating for a husband to earn less than his wife?
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I wouldn't hold the value that the world sets on things as any sort of gold standard. In God's world, a mustard grain sized amount of faith amounts to a mountain moving into the sea. How much does the world actually value faith? How much money would it take the world to actually throw a mountain into the sea? How much would you be willing to pay to get a jar of pickles open? What if you and a man are the last two people with the only one existing jar of pickles left on earth? Too many men are opening jars for free.
There a lot of "depends" and I do not mean the incontinence product.
I was on another site where a young lady was discussing how she makes good money in her career. She went to college and has two degrees. But that the men she meets at church don't find that appealing and they have told her it's emasculating to have a wife that makes more money than they do.
Answers to the thread title question - yes, no, and "it depends" - with a separate explanation for each answer, as a matter of perspective - and, a single explanation to cover all three.
Simple, huh?
Simple, huh?
I tend to think it is not the actual "money" but maybe more the boasting (a better word is not coming to me).
From my experience of family and friends, I have found that men have not felt emasculated if the wife earned more, but the difference has not been huge.
I have known a few men who have felt sad, in that they wished they had chosen a different path/profession that paid better for the sake of their family.
I may see about writing some of that explanation later sometime; however, for now, I think it would be good to let you ladies continue your female-oriented conversation on the topic for a while...Answers to the thread title question - yes, no, and "it depends" - with a separate explanation for each answer, as a matter of perspective - and, a single explanation to cover all three.
Simple, huh?
Or, at least until I find/make time to write a post. Please continue - I am interested in your perspective on this topic.
First thought is why are you (the lady in this story) discussing your income with random single guys at church? I don't think anyone at my church knows how much I make.
But to do my best to take the guys' perspective. There's a lot of messaging in church abouthow the men are supposed to be the providers and I think there's a cultural template that men go off to work and earn the money and women keep the home. While that's rarely the reality, if that idea persists then the guy has to figure out what his role is in the relationship because he isn't going to be in the default male role. So I can see how the guy may have to adjust his expectations and thinking when finding out his gal makes more money but if it's affecting his self-esteem to the point he feels emasculated, that sounds like his problem not hers.
I tried to look up a teaching from America's Rabbi (He loves Christians) who knows, "How the world reaaallly works." I guess it must've been about 5 years since I kept up with him and his wife (I used to transcribe his podcasts, so I was quite familiar with his material, and yes, I prayed about offering my efforts into his ministry and received a vividly clear answer of affirmation). Well, as I said, 5 years have come and gone very quickly, and he has a very extensive body of work and going through it all is more than I'd care to do just to find out no one is really interested in the first place. However, I did skim through his podcasts and saw something I might go back and listen to at least though. Anyway, there's one that is titled "Put up your wallet and let him pay," I'm not sure if it contains the teaching of why man would find it unappealing that a woman makes more than he does, but the treasure of knowledge is buried in there somewhere.
No.
They are one in their marriage. Manhood isn't contingent on Mammon.
It depends on the guy and dynamics of the couple. Some guys will feel very proud of the wives, some very insecure, and some relieved that they don't have to work or are able to pursue a lower paying profession.
I think the guys who feel insecure would be types who generally don't want their wives in the workplace, because they are around other men possibly the "high value" men. Or, if the guy feels that the woman no longer needs him. I think there is more to the story than the woman just merely earning more. These guys may be the more controlling types.
I think the guys who feel insecure would be types who generally don't want their wives in the workplace, because they are around other men possibly the "high value" men. Or, if the guy feels that the woman no longer needs him. I think there is more to the story than the woman just merely earning more. These guys may be the more controlling types.
It sure can hurt the pride and that is not a bad thing. If the wife uses as a weapon, to belittle or threaten her husband, that is not good. Proverbs 31 from verse 10 extols the virtues of a wife who is a material blessing to the household. These days you would call her an entrepreneur.
People, even in equal relationships, try to exert control over their loved ones out of fear. Parents; their children and spouses over each other.
Economic control over a spouse was a tool used by men over women for hundreds of centuries. Men built the homes, killed meat and brought it home, or did the majority of the farming.
Then came the cities and jobs. He earned a paycheck....if she did, she was a prostitute and was stoned to death.
Never was God's intention. Women equal with men in relationships was the design and was quickly abandoned by mankind in their sinful state.
Nowadays with men not completing any post-secondary educational degrees....women who have are the breadwinner in homes.
And those men and women who can put aside their worship of money can be married with children....those who can't, won't. Who do you wish to be?
Nowadays I'm retarded....er I mean retired....my younger wife is still working and makes substantially more $$$.
But I contribute to the house too. I am repairing this 130yr old Victorian complete with turrets . (Today I begin sanding off lead paint and latex paint)
I am who I wish to be. I'm not a schmeel. I don't sponge off of anyone. I've earned my retirement righteously. I continue my contributions to the household in many ways. (Also a recovering chef...so breakfast and dinner is on me)
I'm going out for coffee with the guys here in a bit so my wife is on her own for breakfast this morning. She says she might have to relearn how to scramble some eggs. She hasn't done it for many years. Poor thang!. She knows how to use the toaster and the scratch sourdough English muffins are in the freezer. The homemade grape jelly (peach jam too) is in the fridge....I don't think she will starve. Might not be a ham and cheese omlette....but she'll get by.
Economic control over a spouse was a tool used by men over women for hundreds of centuries. Men built the homes, killed meat and brought it home, or did the majority of the farming.
Then came the cities and jobs. He earned a paycheck....if she did, she was a prostitute and was stoned to death.
Never was God's intention. Women equal with men in relationships was the design and was quickly abandoned by mankind in their sinful state.
Nowadays with men not completing any post-secondary educational degrees....women who have are the breadwinner in homes.
And those men and women who can put aside their worship of money can be married with children....those who can't, won't. Who do you wish to be?
Nowadays I'm retarded....er I mean retired....my younger wife is still working and makes substantially more $$$.
But I contribute to the house too. I am repairing this 130yr old Victorian complete with turrets . (Today I begin sanding off lead paint and latex paint)
I am who I wish to be. I'm not a schmeel. I don't sponge off of anyone. I've earned my retirement righteously. I continue my contributions to the household in many ways. (Also a recovering chef...so breakfast and dinner is on me)
I'm going out for coffee with the guys here in a bit so my wife is on her own for breakfast this morning. She says she might have to relearn how to scramble some eggs. She hasn't done it for many years. Poor thang!. She knows how to use the toaster and the scratch sourdough English muffins are in the freezer. The homemade grape jelly (peach jam too) is in the fridge....I don't think she will starve. Might not be a ham and cheese omlette....but she'll get by.
Johnny already said what I was thinking about how not earning the most money takes a control tool away from men.
Without that, all I have left is an observation:
If I became a trans woman, it would be pretty easy to find a guy who makes more than I do.
Without that, all I have left is an observation:
If I became a trans woman, it would be pretty easy to find a guy who makes more than I do.
I found the podcast that has in intro into why men are not attracted to "women who do not need men." This theme is woven into Lapin's teachings among other reoccurring themes.
That is just in the case you are interested in listening to it, of course.
That is just in the case you are interested in listening to it, of course.
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Eph 5:33
So long as the both can do this, it shouldn't be a problem.
Oh,
For those who don't have the right friends to teach you the wrong vocabulary.....
A schmeel is the person who has to grab the biggest and best for themselves when a buffet of equal choices is available.
Like a platter of steaks you try to grab the biggest.....
A plate of chocolates you grab the biggest one....
You always bring the cheapest gift possible to a gift exchange and if it's a dirty Santa you try to go home with the best gift.
When it comes time for mundane chores you try to get away with doing the least by accomplishing just enough to get by.
A schmeel always tries to get the most for himself/herself with providing the least every time.
It's a Yiddish word and very uncomplimentary.
For those who don't have the right friends to teach you the wrong vocabulary.....
A schmeel is the person who has to grab the biggest and best for themselves when a buffet of equal choices is available.
Like a platter of steaks you try to grab the biggest.....
A plate of chocolates you grab the biggest one....
You always bring the cheapest gift possible to a gift exchange and if it's a dirty Santa you try to go home with the best gift.
When it comes time for mundane chores you try to get away with doing the least by accomplishing just enough to get by.
A schmeel always tries to get the most for himself/herself with providing the least every time.
It's a Yiddish word and very uncomplimentary.
"the cheapest gift....". i know a guy who gave a broken milk bottle as a birthday gift to a milk bottle collector!!!!! holy heavens!!! super cheap!!! & the guy was rich!!! he has 3 motorcycles, 2 cars & lives in a high tax area. his former g.f. wished to dine at better restaurants but he was to cheap!! i really dislike when people are cheap.