Can a Christian

[vidaluvv7]

Can we Completely thwart God’s plan or purpose for our lives? I feel like I’ve failed at everything God has given me. My purpose, my marriage, my children, my career, my education, my home, I’ve literally ruined everything and I have nothing to show for. I’m almost 40 and feel like a complete failure in this life. I’ve never cared much for the monetary things of this life but as I get older I realize I have nothing to pass onto my children or to help better their lives. It also hurts realizing how much I’ve failed God and if I didn’t make the decisions I’ve made I would still be the Christian I once was when I first met Him, on fire for Him, doing His will. I’ve lost out on many blessings because I’ve been stuck in a cycle of narcissistic abuse that’s been hard to come up from. I don’t want to hear anymore “Christian cliches” like “do you think you’re big enough to ruin God’s plan for your life” Well then why do they say be careful who you connect yourself to because they can alter your destiny? Or be careful who you marry because the wrong person can take you out your purpose? I don’t think I am the person I once was and I believe I’ve ruined my whole life. I am so sorry to my Saviour and I wish I was a better Christian for Him.

 

[Gideon300]

Can we Completely thwart God’s plan or purpose for our lives? I feel like I’ve failed at everything God has given me. My purpose, my marriage, my children, my career, my education, my home, I’ve literally ruined everything and I have nothing to show for. I’m almost 40 and feel like a complete failure in this life. I’ve never cared much for the monetary things of this life but as I get older I realize I have nothing to pass onto my children or to help better their lives. It also hurts realizing how much I’ve failed God and if I didn’t make the decisions I’ve made I would still be the Christian I once was when I first met Him, on fire for Him, doing His will. I’ve lost out on many blessings because I’ve been stuck in a cycle of narcissistic abuse that’s been hard to come up from. I don’t want to hear anymore “Christian cliches” like “do you think you’re big enough to ruin God’s plan for your life” Well then why do they say be careful who you connect yourself to because they can alter your destiny? Or be careful who you marry because the wrong person can take you out your purpose? I don’t think I am the person I once was and I believe I’ve ruined my whole life. I am so sorry to my Saviour and I wish I was a better Christian for Him.

Total failure is the doorway to victory in Christ - if we learn from it. God is not interested in what we can do. If we could live a life that pleased God, we would not need Jesus. And that is a lot of the problem for many believers. They need Jesus to forgive them. But they imagine that they can, by their own efforts, be effective Christians.

The Christian life starts when our life ends. I speak from experience. God never looks at what we are doing without examining the source of our motivation and power. Jesus said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing". So many believers focus on not sinning, being nice to everyone, trying hard to obey the commandments and so on. Yet that is nothing to God, if we are doing it in our own strength. Paul calls it wood, hay and straw. It's not what we do for Christ that counts. It is what He does in and through us that pleases God.

You need to know that in Christ, you are already pleasing to God. You are already righteous and holy. You have everything pertaining to life and godliness. You are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Please note: you have everything in Christ and nothing apart from Him. I longed for many years for a breakthrough. I received a breakthrough when I finally realised that I did not need a breakthrough. That was the greatest day of my life, apart from when I was born again.

Tell God that you cannot live the Christian life. He knows; He wants you to acknowledge the truth. Ask Jesus to live out His life in you, through you and in place of you. Ask Him to cause you to be the person that He wants you to be. Deep down, that is the person that you want to be anyway.

I married in my late 30's. I had next to nothing but a decent job. Even that I lost. I inherited two children and had two more. The marriage lasted 9 years.

After I came to my senses, or that is how it seemed, life began to turn around. I retired shortly before I turned 65. I was debt free and I owned a decent vehicle that I bought new - for cash. Much to my surprise, I married again 3 years ago. We own our home and life is as good as it gets for us.

I still go through occasional hard times, but they do not bring me down like they used to. That should be normal for every believer. I am not at all special. Anyone can come to know Jesus as their life. And that is the secret. Let Jesus carry the load. His yoke is easy and His burden light. You will never be the same again.

 

[vidaluvv7]

Total failure is the doorway to victory in Christ - if we learn from it. God is not interested in what we can do. If we could live a life that pleased God, we would not need Jesus. And that is a lot of the problem for many believers. They need Jesus to forgive them. But they imagine that they can, by their own efforts, be effective Christians.

The Christian life starts when our life ends. I speak from experience. God never looks at what we are doing without examining the source of our motivation and power. Jesus said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing". So many believers focus on not sinning, being nice to everyone, trying hard to obey the commandments and so on. Yet that is nothing to God, if we are doing it in our own strength. Paul calls it wood, hay and straw. It's not what we do for Christ that counts. It is what He does in and through us that pleases God.

You need to know that in Christ, you are already pleasing to God. You are already righteous and holy. You have everything pertaining to life and godliness. You are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Please note: you have everything in Christ and nothing apart from Him. I longed for many years for a breakthrough. I received a breakthrough when I finally realised that I did not need a breakthrough. That was the greatest day of my life, apart from when I was born again.

Tell God that you cannot live the Christian life. He knows; He wants you to acknowledge the truth. Ask Jesus to live out His life in you, through you and in place of you. Ask Him to cause you to be the person that He wants you to be. Deep down, that is the person that you want to be anyway.

I married in my late 30's. I had next to nothing but a decent job. Even that I lost. I inherited two children and had two more. The marriage lasted 9 years.

After I came to my senses, or that is how it seemed, life began to turn around. I retired shortly before I turned 65. I was debt free and I owned a decent vehicle that I bought new - for cash. Much to my surprise, I married again 3 years ago. We own our home and life is as good as it gets for us.

I still go through occasional hard times, but they do not bring me down like they used to. That should be normal for every believer. I am not at all special. Anyone can come to know Jesus as their life. And that is the secret. Let Jesus carry the load. His yoke is easy and His burden light. You will never be the same again.

Thank you for sharing this with me, I appreciate your response and will take it into consideration. Please keep me in prayer at this time

 

[Jackson129]

I was 36 and at what is called rock bottom in all the areas you listed and all the ones you didnt. Now at 44 after 8 years of doing my best to follow Jesus I am doing 1000% percent better in some areas and 10000% percent better in some. That is only after 8 years. You are never too young or too old to make changes in your life.

 

[vidaluvv7]

I was 36 and at what is called rock bottom in all the areas you listed and all the ones you didnt. Now at 44 after 8 years of doing my best to follow Jesus I am doing 1000% percent better in some areas and 10000% percent better in some. That is only after 8 years. You are never too young or too old to make changes in your life.

God makes all things new Thank you for this encouragement. I was really down last night thinking about everything. I appreciate your response.

 

[Gideon300]

Thank you for sharing this with me, I appreciate your response and will take it into consideration. Please keep me in prayer at this time

Sure. I had much help going through my hard times. I want to help others where I can.

 

[Jackson129]

God makes all things new Thank you for this encouragement. I was really down last night thinking about everything. I appreciate your response.

Its hard not to dwell on things. Trust me I know. Sometimes rather than getting down on yourself or blaming yourself try to find out what God is trying to teach you. I suffered a loss just today and I will be sad for awhile. At first I blamed myself but I quickly changed that thinking. It dosent mean that I am not still sad. I just except that everything happens for a reason. Even if I dont understand why.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

C I don’t want to hear anymore “Christian cliches” like “do you think you’re big enough to ruin God’s plan for your life” Well then why do they say be careful who you connect yourself to because they can alter your destiny? Or be careful who you marry because the wrong person can take you out your purpose? I don’t think I am the person I once was and I believe I’ve ruined my whole life. I am so sorry to my Saviour and I wish I was a better Christian for Him.

I believe sometimes we get out of God's perfect will for our lives. We take the wrong direction, we make the bad decisions, we walk away from God. But there was a preacher that once said there's such a thing as God's permissive will. I haven't really looked deeply into it. But basically it's that had you heeded God and taken the right path you'd be in His perfect will, but you're still in His permissive will. He still has you in His hands, He still has plans for you, good plans. They may be different now because of choices we make, but He hasn't forsaken or forgotten us. He can still take our lives and turn it around. I love this song, it's an old one but I cry every time I hear it, especially the last verse. It's called the Brush.



Life started out like a canvas,
And God started painting on me,
But I took the paintbrush from Jesus,
And painted what I wished to see.

The colors I painted kept running,
And the objects were all out of size,
I had made a mess of my painting,
My way now seemed so unwise.

Then I gave my painting to Jesus,
All the colors, all the pieces so wrong.
In the markets of earth it was worthless,
But His blood made my painting belong.

He worked with no condemnation,
Never mentioned the mess I had made.
Then He dipped His brush in the rainbow,
And signed it, the price has been paid.

When I gave the brush back to Jesus,
When I gave the brush back to Him
He started all over Life′s canvas to fill,
When I gave to Jesus the brush of my will.

 

[Levib]

Don’t you think 40 is a little young to be a “complete failure”? Considering you’re barely half your life lived, it’s far from complete. Many have redeemed their lives after 40. Moses became a murderer at 40 and then it took 40 more years before God could use him.

It is absolutely possible to stop God’s will. Otherwise you would have to believe that every evil work is from God. Even if you fouled up every opportunity until now (which I highly doubt), there are many me ahead!

 

[hornetguy]

” Well then why do they say be careful who you connect yourself to because they can alter your destiny? Or be careful who you marry because the wrong person can take you out your purpose?

Who are "they" that say that?
I've not seen scripture that says that.
I've seen a proverb that says an evil companion can corrupt good morals, but Jesus taught us love and acceptance.
Scripture says to not be unequally yoked (tied) to an unbeliever, but that means don't willingly enter into a relationship/marriage with one.
If you are married and they do not believe, scripture says you are to not leave them, because they can be "improved" by being with you.
You might see yourself as a failure, but I believe that God sees us as works in progress....

 

[vidaluvv7]

Who are "they" that say that?
I've not seen scripture that says that.
I've seen a proverb that says an evil companion can corrupt good morals, but Jesus taught us love and acceptance.
Scripture says to not be unequally yoked (tied) to an unbeliever, but that means don't willingly enter into a relationship/marriage with one.
If you are married and they do not believe, scripture says you are to not leave them, because they can be "improved" by being with you.
You might see yourself as a failure, but I believe that God sees us as works in progress....

Just cliches that other believers love to use. Sometimes I see it posted online, sometimes other believers have said it to me and no it is not biblical and I hate hearing it because I believe we can very much change our course depending on the path and choices we decided to make. My husband is abusive on every level and I will be exiting this marriage soon, in fact the Lord had to very well rescue me and our children. He is operating with demonic Spirits I’ve been praying and fasting and doing all that I could as a wife but he has harmed one of our children and now he will have to figure out his issues on his own. God’s will be done in our lives and may the Lord vindicate us in every way in Jesus name.

 

[vidaluvv7]

Don’t you think 40 is a little young to be a “complete failure”? Considering you’re barely half your life lived, it’s far from complete. Many have redeemed their lives after 40. Moses became a murderer at 40 and then it took 40 more years before God could use him.

It is absolutely possible to stop God’s will. Otherwise you would have to believe that every evil work is from God. Even if you fouled up every opportunity until now (which I highly doubt), there are many me ahead!

Mmm well I’m actually 36 so I have a few years but I understand what you’re saying. Who am I to say that this age is old, God can use us at any age and what He’s started in us He is able to complete no matter what the scenario, circumstance, age, I was really in my feelings last night ya’ll. I really felt like my whole life was ending and It was over for me but weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Thank you for your response and I agree with what you’re saying

 

[vidaluvv7]

I believe sometimes we get out of God's perfect will for our lives. We take the wrong direction, we make the bad decisions, we walk away from God. But there was a preacher that once said there's such a thing as God's permissive will. I haven't really looked deeply into it. But basically it's that had you heeded God and taken the right path you'd be in His perfect will, but you're still in His permissive will. He still has you in His hands, He still has plans for you, good plans. They may be different now because of choices we make, but He hasn't forsaken or forgotten us. He can still take our lives and turn it around. I love this song, it's an old one but I cry every time I hear it, especially the last verse. It's called the Brush.



Life started out like a canvas,
And God started painting on me,
But I took the paintbrush from Jesus,
And painted what I wished to see.

The colors I painted kept running,
And the objects were all out of size,
I had made a mess of my painting,
My way now seemed so unwise.

Then I gave my painting to Jesus,
All the colors, all the pieces so wrong.
In the markets of earth it was worthless,
But His blood made my painting belong.

He worked with no condemnation,
Never mentioned the mess I had made.
Then He dipped His brush in the rainbow,
And signed it, the price has been paid.

When I gave the brush back to Jesus,
When I gave the brush back to Him
He started all over Life′s canvas to fill,
When I gave to Jesus the brush of my will.

Yes I believe God allowed me to marry this man (his permissive will) but I do not believe this was God’s perfect will for my life. I don’t believe God wanted me to go through this much trauma, hatred, bitterness, resentment, anger and confusion and although I don’t believe marriage is easy and we’re not here to just make each other “happy” marriage should help refine you and purify you like gold. Some people are really just wolves in sheep’s clothing and complete counterfeits that will fake and mirror you and pretend to be the real deal & if you do not have discernment or listen to God, God will allow you to go down that path and go through the very hell he was trying to warn you about. I just thank God for his mercy and grace towards me and that he did not allow this man to take my life.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Yes I believe God allowed me to marry this man (his permissive will) but I do not believe this was God’s perfect will for my life. I don’t believe God wanted me to go through this much trauma, hatred, bitterness, resentment, anger and confusion and although I don’t believe marriage is easy and we’re not here to just make each other “happy” marriage should help refine you and purify you like gold. Some people are really just wolves in sheep’s clothing and complete counterfeits that will fake and mirror you and pretend to be the real deal & if you do not have discernment or listen to God, God will allow you to go down that path and go through the very hell he was trying to warn you about. I just thank God for his mercy and grace towards me and that he did not allow this man to take my life.

I understand. My sister married a very duplicitous man. He was attending church, a deacon and youth leader when my sister met him. He had been married before and had a child from that marriage. I cautioned her to seek counseling first, we had a friend that was a family councilor, a Christian. To my surprise and chagrin she advised my sister to follow her heart. And so she married and her life has been hell ever since. He has a volatile temper and shes spent most of their marriage trying to please him and raise him instead of her children. It's been hard on her and her boys. Sometimes it's just not your fault. People pretend to be someone they are not. I think this year will be the make or break for her marriage. I continue to pray for her and hope that God will lead her to make the right decision. I hope you find a place of peace and hope. God uses broken people. Blessings.

 

[SearchingforSerenity]

Yes I believe God allowed me to marry this man (his permissive will) but I do not believe this was God’s perfect will for my life. I don’t believe God wanted me to go through this much trauma, hatred, bitterness, resentment, anger and confusion and although I don’t believe marriage is easy and we’re not here to just make each other “happy” marriage should help refine you and purify you like gold. Some people are really just wolves in sheep’s clothing and complete counterfeits that will fake and mirror you and pretend to be the real deal & if you do not have discernment or listen to God, God will allow you to go down that path and go through the very hell he was trying to warn you about. I just thank God for his mercy and grace towards me and that he did not allow this man to take my life.

I agree. Also gods gives up the complete choice to marry whoever. He tells us better fits and guides us. Ultimately it’s our choice. This part is why I haven’t married because I feel finding a person of real faith is impossible in society now.

 

[Gideon300]

I agree. Also gods gives up the complete choice to marry whoever. He tells us better fits and guides us. Ultimately it’s our choice. This part is why I haven’t married because I feel finding a person of real faith is impossible in society now.

Nothing is impossible for God. If someone had told me that I would once day marry my now wife, I would asked them to seek psychological help. Neither of us had any interest in the other. God is in the business of changing lives for the better. We are not the people we were 40 years ago, for which everyone should be thankful. At the risk of repeating myself, one young woman told use we were the loveliest couple she had ever met. And as a waitress, she met a lot of people. It is not us, it is Jesus in us that makes the difference.

 

[SearchingforSerenity]

Nothing is impossible for God. If someone had told me that I would once day marry my now wife, I would asked them to seek psychological help. Neither of us had any interest in the other. God is in the business of changing lives for the better. We are not the people we were 40 years ago, for which everyone should be thankful. At the risk of repeating myself, one young woman told use we were the loveliest couple she had ever met. And as a waitress, she met a lot of people. It is not us, it is Jesus in us that makes the difference.

I would love to hear your story if you could write it? I’m very intrigued now and honestly Gideon I need hope more than ever. I feel so undeserving of a godly wife.

 

[Gideon300]

I would love to hear your story if you could write it? I’m very intrigued now and honestly Gideon I need hope more than ever. I feel so undeserving of a godly wife.

In brief (for me). I joined a small home based fellowship, leaving behind youth leadership in a Pentecostal church. I'd got myself in a lot of trouble. I was mad at God and myself. I felt that I was no longer qualified to lead anything.

I joined a group of about 30. My now wife was attending so I got acquainted with her. To me, she was a little odd. She had problems that I did not know how to deal with. A few years later, I met and married my then wife. 9 years and two kids later, we separated. In the mean time, my now wife married the leader of the group. That meant that I got to know here better as we met pretty much every day. She was usually in the background, supporting her husband but rarely getting involved. She and I clashed from time to time.

After the breakup, the leader let me stay with them for about a year. That meant even more to do with his wife. The leader had been my mentor from the time I first met him. We spent a lot of time together. I saw that his wife had changed quite a lot. And she grew in the Lord a great deal over the next years.

My friend and mentor passed away in 2011. I and another brother had moved in with them because he was not well. He had a beautiful home and gardens that were a lot of work to maintain. The other brother married and moved to a new city, a long way from us. I considered moving out, but that would have left my newly widowed sister to carry an unbearable load.

About 8 years later, she became very ill. It was during the Covid time and visiting was much restricted. Much to my surprise, I was distraught. I had become very attached to her without even realising it. I'm a bit dense when it comes to relationships, so there was another period before I asked her to marry me. Even that was a little convoluted, but we got there.

Coincidence is when God does a miracle and chooses to remain anonymous. So many things had to happen before we married. I was a mess after my divorce. She was utterly devoted to her husband. She did not understand me and I did not get her either. Now I could not ask for a better wife.

We still clash occasionally. That's normal, although it's rare now.

My advice to anyone looking for a spouse is to look up Mark Gungor. He is a pastor who is also the best marriage counselor. He is very funny as well. He is one of the very few people who really know what makes women tick and the differences between men and women. Laugh and learn. You can find him on youtube.

"So undeserving......." Good. God does not give us what we deserve or we'd all be in hell. God gives us what we need. it may not be how or when we would like it. If you keep seeking Him, He will answer you. He is working on your request right now. There may be attitudes that God wants to change in your first and maybe He is working in the woman that He has in mind for you.

 

[Suze]

I look back on my life ( I'm 58 ) and I just c a long path full of epic failures ! From jobs to relationships it's all been a bit of a disaster . I'm glad I didn't have children , I wouldn't want to have inflicted myself on them ! Any bad choice u can think of , I made it , more than once . All I can say is that as soon as I started to become aware of God , everything changed for me . All my mistakes and catastrophic decisions , they all lead me to Him ! I wouldn't b who I am today without all of those life experiences behind me , we come to God through pain and suffering and deep regrets and He tells us ; it's ok , that's the past and it all brought us together .
Any people that u think u harmed or let down , if they r still alive , talk to them , tell them how u feel , apologize and b ready to listen to their reply to u . If God can forget your past then u certainly can . U r a new creation in Christ , b happy and go into the world with your light , which is Christ in u , shinning bright . God chose u to b with Him , He sees the completed u and He knows your pain . He will heal u if u let Him .

 

[Standard]

Amen to all these praise reports of what God does in the lives of His people.... You're in my prayers vidaluvv7. The same God of these posters is with you too... Be blessed!