Abused

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Cabbage

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When I was 13, I got involved with church. It was right after my mother had gotten lung cancer, I had gotten saved, and then she was healed. I started singing in the choir, joined the church, got baptized, served on the drama team, gave devotions in youth group, and a lot of other stuff, I just don't want to bore you. I was 13 and my parents were not Christians. I rode the church van home from church every Sunday and Wednesday. After I got comfortable and settled into church, I noticed my youth director letting me go home last on the church van and choosing me to be in leadership positions over the rest of the youth. Some of the youth got mad and left our church. It was very evident, I just didn't understand why he chose me. But after a few rides on the church van, I figured out why. He didn't like me for my personality or even my Christ like attitude. He was going down a path that would hurt me more than I ever realized. That began the three years that I was sexually abused. I was threatened with his status in the community and as a new Christian, I thought that everyone's salvation that he had lead to Christ would be thrown down the drain and it wouldn't matter. For three years I thought I was holding the community's salvation in my hands. He was a basketball coach who took the team to state and he was wonderful in the community, but behind his mask, was somebody that only I seen. I played it off like nothing was going on. Defense mechanisms set up in me like I dont understand and probably never will. I was lost and confused. I finally told my boyfriend which was probably the hardest thing I had to do up until that point. I was an only child, my original parents were still married and life was great.....up until I got abused. It was not a one time thing. Every church ride home for 3 years became an abuse session. It took me 2 years after the abuse to realize that I didn't do anything wrong and that God loves me. I finally told and it is now in the court proceedings. I am not going to say I was never angry that it happened, but God has opened a lot of doors for me to helpother people with this issue. It has made me a lot stronger person. I still go to the same church because I dont want to run away from issues when they arise. God has taught me a lot and I am not to the point where I praise God that this did happen, but I am to the point that I am glad I can help others throughit. Thank you Lord for Your deliverance and Your daily strength as I am recovering. If there is anyone out there going through this or have a question, please feel free to message me on here.
 
Wow, this is a really shocking story, well it seems to be like these people who choose to do things like that, have not or chosen not to and disobey God, he will be punished and i think he will not have the decency to Repent his sins. i hope that you are alright and i find you really really amazing on how you have resulted in this problem. I can honestly say that God is proud of you, you havent run away from things, you are now stronger in which God has made you stronger. This is a problem that you have shared with God and now your prayers have come true, I think that you may of prayed that you wished that would go away. You stayed strong and become patient. Your prayers were answered and God gave you the power to rise this situation and get your salvation. On me and behalf of God, we're very proud.
 
God bless you for sharing, so you might be used by God to help others. I'm glad to hear God is in control. I will pray that you continue to stay strong.
It sounds like you are getting good support. Sorry that this ever happened to you, but it looks like God is using it for His good works.
Love in Jesus
 
Cabbage I am so proud of you ... Your strength of character is amazing! God is fighting this fight for you and I want you to always remember that you have not done anything to deserve this! God made you especially beautiful and He made you for a purpose. You have gone through something that many others have experienced in much the same manner as you but they do not come out of it in the same manner! You are rising up victorious and with Christ as the focal point. Many have the same or similar trials and try to fight this on their own strength... or they simply give up and do nothing but retreat in a hole with their pain and anger and resentment and unforgiveness. God will do great things with you if you just remain in this mindset that you are already showing.. Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice! and Give thanks to the Lord in all ALL things... does this mean that you need to be thankful that you have been hurt .. I dont think so .. but I would say to you ... be thankful that you have gone through this hurt and trial WITH GOD ON YOUR SIDE! Being thankful to Him for being your strength and your peace and your comfort! Love you Cabbage... thank you so much for sharing. And if you come in the room and see me please feel free to message me or private chat with me anytime... I will be praying for you hun and know that you have people that love you very much. ~ Kimmie :)
 
I am so unworthy of any of this praise from any of you. I just truly want to help others through similar situations. I knew a long time ago, that I could not fight this without God. THere have been times where I have failed and tried on my own strength, but I knew it would never work. I have prayed a few times for it to go away. I have been on my face crying, just begging God to take it away, but even though I have not came to starting the trial yet, I pray that God will use this trial in a way that will glorify Him. If it helps one person, I am willing to go through it, if that is His iwill. As far as the person who did this, I forgive them. It took me a long time to be able to say that. I never went to see a counselor, probably should have, but I knew that God would take care of me. He never said it would be easy, He just promised me the strength to do it. Through this situation God has opened up many doors of opportunity to witness to girls who are struggling. God is amazing and worthy of more praise than we have ever thought about. Praise the Lord!
 
I read in, I believe it was Acts 4, the apostles were facing awful times, they were about to be beaten and they prayed NOt for God to remove the situation, but for BOLDNESS to get through it. That has stuck with me :)
 
This is very great.. I hope that so called pastor of yours gets punished for what he has done!
 
Abuse is a horrible nightmare. I really have difficulty when church workers have no more respect for their office than to desecrate it. You seem
strong. Continue to get the help you need to overcome. Remember, God works through people. Blessings and prayers for you.
 
To those who are being bitter toward the pastor that did this.. I know that it is awful what happened to Cabbage.. but please PLEASE remember this ... There but for the grace of God go I! In other words.. without Gods grace you could find yourself in the same position. Church employees/officers/pastors etc... are just NORMAL people too that struggle with sin the same as you and I do. Often times it is more prevelant in the church personnel due to the high ministry and the fact that the enemy will fight all the harder to drag that person down.

I am NOT condoning what happened to cabbage but I am warning/reminding all of us that we are not better than this man... and his sin is no worse than ours as God sees us all as His children and all our sin is viewed the same ... as a separation from God! ... even the simple act of lying, separates us from our Father God! So pray for Him and all those in ministry... as they hold a higher responsibility when they answer to God ,.. and as they have a greater burden of temptation and spiritual warfare going on in their life than the average believer.

May God bless you Cabbage and all those whose lives you touch. Thank you for sharing ..... FORGIVEN AGAIN~ Kimmie
 
Thank you for this post. I have tried to post this many times, but people always get really upset when I say it. They get mad at me for not holding a grudge. I have forgiven him.
 
Forgiveness makes you worthy of so much....that is a reflection of Christ in you...and DON'T ever forget that
 
Hi CABBAGE, you really rock, you know I support you - what a fine person. God bless you my friend
 
Cabbage what a blessing you are! Your trials are your triumphs, your tests your testimonies. You should definitely consider Starting a group online or in your community for girls AND boys to share their trials, pains, hurts, so that they can be a blessing to others. I know exactly what you are going through, i was molested at age 9 by a cousin and raped several times as a teenager (though I didnt deserve it, I was not hanging around Christians or involved in church, i was someone who was lost and hurting as a small child and really forgot what love was suppossed to be like and how it felt)
The devil has a way of trapping us, but what the devil meant for evil GOD can truly turn around and use it for good.
I now am in contact with other people who were raped or molested in their life and how to heal from it and use our tests as testimonies.
God has renewed and freed me, I still have to make the decision everyday whether i will stay free and renewed and you will to.
Keep your head up and share your story to reach and heal!
God Bless
 
I really want to work with girls specifically. That is where my heart is. I think God is calling me into being a Christian counselor. Yeah, I understand that I have to make a daily decision to be freed, sometimes I don't make that decision and that usually leads to a very bad day. The trial is coming up and I am just praying that God's will be done. And RONIN- You are so right. It is not human nature to forgive. I didn't want to, but SLOWLY, God helped me to.
Thank you all for the words of encouragement.
 
i was abuse but onlly told my husbend the whole story and it felt good telling him sinc it happen when i was like your age and now im a adelt, since then i get people in my life that went threw with the same story and i try to reach out to them or pray for them being abuse its not easy to deal with but by the will of god i got threw it and still is as a adelt. god bless you sister for that story and amen
 
I can not help but to think of this scripture:

Matt.18

[6] But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
[7] Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
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Cabbage said:
I read in, I believe it was Acts 4, the apostles were facing awful times, they were about to be beaten and they prayed NOt for God to remove the situation, but for BOLDNESS to get through it. That has stuck with me :)
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What happened to you was wrong and I hope this guy get's severely punished for his crimes. If you had not come forward who knows what he would have done to someone else. Be strong little sis!

It infuriates me to hear about situations like these. It infuriates me more to think about how the church leadership could allow a creep like this hold a position of authority without serious accountability. I hope and pray that the church in question, as well as all other churches that hear about this, understands how important accountability is among it's leadership, especially it's youth volunteers.

However, I am so happy to hear how you have placed your confidence in the Lord and have not abandoned God because of junk going on in the church. While things may seem uncertain right now, I have no doubt that the Lord will use you and this situation to minister to many other victoms of abuse regardless of where or at what age such abuse had taken place. While it may be hard, try not to dwell on the past but instead try to focus on the Lord and the glorious future that God has for you. :)
 
Cabbage said:
I really want to work with girls specifically. That is where my heart is. I think God is calling me into being a Christian counselor. Yeah, I understand that I have to make a daily decision to be freed, sometimes I don't make that decision and that usually leads to a very bad day. The trial is coming up and I am just praying that God's will be done. And RONIN- You are so right. It is not human nature to forgive. I didn't want to, but SLOWLY, God helped me to.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement.
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May God's peace and strength be with you during this hard time. Whatever the outcome might be, I pray that you will continue to grow both in the knowledge and grace of our Lord. I pray that God will surround you with with the right people to encourage you, support you and disciple you so that you may blossom into a strong woman of faith whom God uses to rescue others from their own dire situations.
 
Though all of us are human and it is only by GOD's grace that we make it most of us would not consider this kind of sin and crime. To be in leadership in the church and hurt one of His little ones is not taken lightly by GOD. Yes we have to forgive that is what we are commanded to do. If this man ever had a relationship with Christ, the moment he thought to commit this sin, GOD was talking to him, warning him not to go there. There are people who go down the wrong path and sin and then there are people who wolves in sheeps clothing, but the courts and GOD will deal with him.
I am thankful that you are ok Cabbage, and I am glad that you found the strength to stand up to this, because after you there would have been another victim if he had gotten away with it. May GOD continue to take into strength and healing.
 
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