the most difficult thing

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Jullianna

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What's the most difficult thing you have ever had to tell someone?
 
This was several years back, but, one night, I couldn't sleep. So I decided to sing, and play with my guitar. I was in worship those few hours that I couldn't sleep. Up until I decided to try and relax on the couch to see if it would work. I eventually did relax. But before I could close my eyes the phone rang.

The woman on the other end of the phone had told me that a young man (we'll call him Nathan for now) had died. I wasn't really close to the guy, but I was told to go to a friend's house (I'll use James for the time being) and just be there for him. Nathan was James' cousin.

As I got there, I knocked on the door frantically. He opened it up. There was no sign of emotional disturbance on his face.

"What's up? You couldn't sleep too?"

I just looked at him as James invited me in. There were two others there, I'm guessing they were dispatched as I was. James paced back and forth a little angry, due to the knowledge of the attack.

Earlier that night, Nathan was beaten to death with a baseball bat. Apparently, they were drinking, and some younger teenagers over did it. Normally, every weekend there are always some stupid stories. But this was different.

I sat on the chair, and looked at the other two. James continued to pace, wondering about Nathan. As some time had passed, James said something that made my heart sunk.

"I wonder if he was medevac'd out..."

James didn't know Nathan died.

I sat there and eyed the other two... I couldn't help but think Why?

After thirty to forty minutes had passed, the two friends left.

I couldn't tell him... I just wondered Why would someone like me deliever this kind of news? I'm not THAT close to James... Coward.

I sat there with him for a couple hours. We talked, and we joked around. Guy talk. Even though James' mind is not in the right place, I know he has a good heart. It's easy for me to open up a biblical conversation with the guy. He's my brother's friend. He always come here to visit. So, I knew him well enough to be concidered a friend of his... I guess.

But that whole time... I waited for someone more dignified to deliever the news Someone like a real family member... It was three, close to four in the morning when we watched Passion of The Christ. It was toward the end of the movie when the phone rang.

I waited and listened to the conversation. I've never seen James break down like that. I've never witnessed him cry before. I'm guessing it would amount up, due to his younger brother commiting suicide a year and a half earlier.

"I'm sorry man... I couldn't tell you myself. I thought you knew... That's why I looked like I did when I came over... I thought (friend 1) and (friend 2) told you. It was when you mentioned the medevac and started to talk about Nathan as if he was still alive..."

I was never put into a position to tell anyone that their family member died. I was afraid... I was scared. I didn't want my friend getting angry at me for thinking that I was making a sick joke...

It still bothers me that I couldn't be direct with it.


What's the most difficult thing you have ever had to tell someone?
 
This was several years back, but, one night, I couldn't sleep. So I decided to sing, and play with my guitar. I was in worship those few hours that I couldn't sleep. Up until I decided to try and relax on the couch to see if it would work. I eventually did relax. But before I could close my eyes the phone rang.

The woman on the other end of the phone had told me that a young man (we'll call him Nathan for now) had died. I wasn't really close to the guy, but I was told to go to a friend's house (I'll use James for the time being) and just be there for him. Nathan was James' cousin.

As I got there, I knocked on the door frantically. He opened it up. There was no sign of emotional disturbance on his face.

"What's up? You couldn't sleep too?"

I just looked at him as James invited me in. There were two others there, I'm guessing they were dispatched as I was. James paced back and forth a little angry, due to the knowledge of the attack.

Earlier that night, Nathan was beaten to death with a baseball bat. Apparently, they were drinking, and some younger teenagers over did it. Normally, every weekend there are always some stupid stories. But this was different.

I sat on the chair, and looked at the other two. James continued to pace, wondering about Nathan. As some time had passed, James said something that made my heart sunk.

"I wonder if he was medevac'd out..."

James didn't know Nathan died.

I sat there and eyed the other two... I couldn't help but think Why?

After thirty to forty minutes had passed, the two friends left.

I couldn't tell him... I just wondered Why would someone like me deliever this kind of news? I'm not THAT close to James... Coward.

I sat there with him for a couple hours. We talked, and we joked around. Guy talk. Even though James' mind is not in the right place, I know he has a good heart. It's easy for me to open up a biblical conversation with the guy. He's my brother's friend. He always come here to visit. So, I knew him well enough to be concidered a friend of his... I guess.

But that whole time... I waited for someone more dignified to deliever the news Someone like a real family member... It was three, close to four in the morning when we watched Passion of The Christ. It was toward the end of the movie when the phone rang.

I waited and listened to the conversation. I've never seen James break down like that. I've never witnessed him cry before. I'm guessing it would amount up, due to his younger brother commiting suicide a year and a half earlier.

"I'm sorry man... I couldn't tell you myself. I thought you knew... That's why I looked like I did when I came over... I thought (friend 1) and (friend 2) told you. It was when you mentioned the medevac and started to talk about Nathan as if he was still alive..."

I was never put into a position to tell anyone that their family member died. I was afraid... I was scared. I didn't want my friend getting angry at me for thinking that I was making a sick joke...

It still bothers me that I couldn't be direct with it.


That's sad :( and indeed, not something easy to do. I dont't know what would I have done in your case....
 
My husband decided he wasn't ready for kids two weeks after I gave birth to my daughter. He basically disappeared off of the face of the earth, his family didn't even hear from him. A few years ago he decided to make up for lost time? And decided to be a part of her life. I communicated with him for a year before I told my daughter about him, I wanted to be sure he was stable. My daughter had never known a father and yet welcomed him with open arms and heart. I watched her eat up every word she heard from him and tried to keep myself out of the equation (he had left me too after all, neither one of us were saved then. I got saved when my daughter wasn't even a year old and he claimed to be saved also.) About a year after his re-entering her life, he was arrested and tried and imprisoned for some pretty perverted acts. This was heart wrenching as my daughter and I had trusted him. I had to make the decision to cut him out of our lives all over again only this time my daughter was aware. Telling her about my decision, without going into too much detail and watching her mourn the loss of a father she was just getting to know was by far the hardest thing I've had to tell anybody. Thankfully, my daughter has a heavenly father who will never let her down and we've been able to forgive him for the deception. I thank God that we've both had closure and no longer have to wonder what if, and that truth was shed on his character before either of us were in danger.
 
In a combat zone, a radio man asked for help. He said all the men from his unit were dead, he was the only one left, and he was out of ammunition. He asked me to tell his wife and daughter that he loved them, and then he keyed the mic, I heard the automatic weapons fire, and he screamed, "They're killing me!"

That was so traumatic that I was never able to remember the name of his wife; so in tears, I took it to the Lord.