C
CanadaNZ
Guest
I always worry when I hear from another female friend of mine who say theyve found a nice guy and theyre happily dating them. Nothing wrong about that of course its the next bit they say. I ask them, what church do they go to? And the reply answer is always 'Oh he doesnt go.' The backup reason is either he doesnt 'like' churches and instead his church is himself and his hipster christian music and ideas OR he says he believes in 'God' but leaves it at that. Granted there are far too many feminised churches for men to feel comfortable in, the church is painted in pastel, the majority of the pastoral leadership may be women and the worship music sounds like you're going to prom with Jesus. In American churches there is commonly 60% women and 40% men. Not a lot of biblical masculine inspiration I know.
But going to church and having fellowship in the form of singing, corporate prayer, listening to preaching, getting to know one another and new people, its not a recommendation its a mandate.
Look at Jesus, from a small town from blue collar parents with a out of date tiny synagogue which no priest wanted to volunteer in. I bet he heard a few awful sermons in his time. He still went. He dealt with a lot of neighbors in the congregation whispering about him. His family didn't agree with him in church. He still went. He travelled to Jeruselem every year to learn and eventually teach and preach in the most corrupt temple in his day. He still went. What does that say? Despite the sin in church he still fought to help it improve.
Today, the most common complaint I hear about christians is actually against the church, the corporate body of christ. "Theyre a bunch of hypocrites," Christians and athiests alike say.
Only Jesus was perfect so why should we be surprised when tens and hundreds of sinners come together every Sunday and accidentally sin against each other?
There is an upside. Church is where you're with people who are there the same reason you are - to show your love for Jesus. You meet people who take the bible seriously and themselves lightly. You meet people who rebuke you for your sin in love and encourage and support you in your times of hard seasons. You meet leaders you want to look up to. You're in an environment where your surrounded by people of all ages and you learn to care for babies and children and respect and adher to the wisdom of the elderly.
Going to church doesn't make you a christian like being in a garage doesnt make you a car. But when you're around that social and spiritual environment and likeminded people you allow yourself to be positively influenced.
Heres why I worry about men who don't go to church.
If a man wants to date you and says he is a Christian but doesnt go to church and shows no interest in it, take the level of their faith with a grain of salt and carry on looking. As a precious daughter of God you deserve the best man that God has planned for you. God created church community for a very good purpose. He wants us love and learn with one another not be in isolation. Men who want to be loving sacrificial spiritual leaders do not achieve anything alone. Encourage them to grow and meet other christian men but don't date them.
But going to church and having fellowship in the form of singing, corporate prayer, listening to preaching, getting to know one another and new people, its not a recommendation its a mandate.
Look at Jesus, from a small town from blue collar parents with a out of date tiny synagogue which no priest wanted to volunteer in. I bet he heard a few awful sermons in his time. He still went. He dealt with a lot of neighbors in the congregation whispering about him. His family didn't agree with him in church. He still went. He travelled to Jeruselem every year to learn and eventually teach and preach in the most corrupt temple in his day. He still went. What does that say? Despite the sin in church he still fought to help it improve.
Today, the most common complaint I hear about christians is actually against the church, the corporate body of christ. "Theyre a bunch of hypocrites," Christians and athiests alike say.
Only Jesus was perfect so why should we be surprised when tens and hundreds of sinners come together every Sunday and accidentally sin against each other?
There is an upside. Church is where you're with people who are there the same reason you are - to show your love for Jesus. You meet people who take the bible seriously and themselves lightly. You meet people who rebuke you for your sin in love and encourage and support you in your times of hard seasons. You meet leaders you want to look up to. You're in an environment where your surrounded by people of all ages and you learn to care for babies and children and respect and adher to the wisdom of the elderly.
Going to church doesn't make you a christian like being in a garage doesnt make you a car. But when you're around that social and spiritual environment and likeminded people you allow yourself to be positively influenced.
Heres why I worry about men who don't go to church.
- No holy spirit driven love and passion for the body of Christ. Claiming yourself and your ipod to be 'church' is like seeing a walking hand (like from The Adams Family') it looks rediculous, klutzy and incomplete. You run high risk of favouring certain topics and books of the bible over others. You allow a foothold for Satan by not allowing godly men to teach you. You convince yourself that you can teach yourself better than your pastor. Pride and arrogance is a scary and deadly combination in a man. You also miss out of helpful resources that is otherwise provided at church.
- Lack of spiritual commitment. Being in fellowship with other sinners (despite all being in love with Jesus) is HARD work. You hurt others and they will hurt you. The 12 Apostles was the weirdest collection of men with different gifts and ideas and upbringing. You don't think they argued? Paul and Peter definitely did. But they always drove for forgiveness and reconciliation and worked incrediably hard and openly DIED for God.
- Lack of accountability. In church you hear a message that you didnt plan. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit presses the pastor to preach on something that looks at conviction of sin that the whole church is having trouble with. What happens to the bloke who didnt bother to turn up and is dealing with that sin? It goes unchecked and unrebuked.
In Ephesians it says that at the head of every man is Christ. If a guy is in a relationship or marriage and isnt in an environment (church) that mentors, leads, rebukes and encourages men it shows his incapability to put Jesus first, and if Jesus isnt first, how can his gf or wife trust him to lead like Christ? How can she trust him to train their children in their scripture, to discern truthful teaching, to read relevant and useful books? To one day lead other men in Christ? Can she trust that when he stands before God at his death, Jesus would say 'Well done, good and faithful servant'?
If a man wants to date you and says he is a Christian but doesnt go to church and shows no interest in it, take the level of their faith with a grain of salt and carry on looking. As a precious daughter of God you deserve the best man that God has planned for you. God created church community for a very good purpose. He wants us love and learn with one another not be in isolation. Men who want to be loving sacrificial spiritual leaders do not achieve anything alone. Encourage them to grow and meet other christian men but don't date them.
