Some things trigger me more easily than others. Some things trigger a stronger response then others.
You make valid points in your full response, some of which are stated more clearly than my thoughts could convey.
As for the trigger response... Yep, me too.
For me, I recognized that I'd trained myself to assign a negative value to things: sounds, sights, memories, people that remind me of memories, the wrong word, tone, or attitude of others.
I used to be an impatient person, so I intentionally would stand in the longest, slowest line at the grocery with just 1 or 2 items in my hand. And when someone kindly points out the empty express lane, I humbly decline with a smile and tell them that I'm an impatient person, so I intentionally stand in the longest, slowest line at the grocery with just 1 or 2 items in my hand...............
The beauty of that story is that when I feel impatient, I have it memorized in my mind, and tell it to others, because it helps me to be accountable to them. (nothing worse than being reminded, "Hey, what about that story about training yourself to be patient?")
I studied a book called "Make Anger Your Ally" (can't recall the author)
It was a just a book to read, but I couldn't just read it. I took notes, highlighted it, and then read it again.
I worked on impatience to avoid impatience triggers; I worked on anger to avoid anger triggers.
When my triggers are not so sensitive, I don't use my mouth inappropriately. (Of course, I'm a Barney Fife fan and have ultimately learned to "nip it, nip, nip it in the bud!")
For me, the triggers aren't the events around me, they're inside me. It's up to me to learn how my mind responds the moment before I trigger... I found that I was setting myself up subconsciously to find a reason, or excuse, to use inappropriate speech.
Lately, I have found myself correcting my bad choice of word, or words, that I spoke to someone who uses at least two or three in a sentence. It's hard work to make yourself self conscious... But we have Someone who can be a reminder not just "who we are," but "whose we are."
