Any advice on how change old habits/sins in school, with friends, at home e.t.c?

[PearPie19]

Hey so I was wondering if any of you can relate and have any advice? Ill make headings of the different sections.


SCHOOL + FRIENDS : So I turned into a christian during start of high school and before then all my friends knew me as me where I swear, gossip, make fun of things and so on. And then I finally met christ, at church Id be really kind, respectful, who I really want to be, but then at school I still was and still am "stuck" in my old self. I guess I am scared to change because if they judge me or make fun. But I also so often don't even catch myself being "bad/sinful" until afterwards.

And then I also did bring some friends to church and youth group which is really good, but now I also feel like at church I'm more of my "school version" which I really dont like. Well I may be moving schools/area soon so maybe that'll be an opportunity but Im scared once I return ill just be the same or that in the new area my "true self" aka school version, which I really hope ISNT my true self shows eventually. But maybe this isn't so. Maybe I can deepen my faith and my relationship with christ so much that I will be transformed and it'll be easier. Any quotes, bible study tips or advice on this in general?



SIN AT HOME: Okay for this topic, I am ashamed and saw a thread similar some time ago but wanted to ask again, how do you guys deal with overcoming lust or how have you overcome it? At a quite young age someone "introduced" it to me and I guess triggers such as books or online videos that are bad have been reinforcing it since then. I did just rip out the bad pages in books and am trying to avoid reading spicy books. But I think. sometimes I long so much for some deep, emotional/physical relationship (not in a sexual way, I mean simply hugs or holding hands idk) because I don't really have that at home.

I know God and Christ is the answer to this and what Im searching for, is a deep relationship with our creator up in heaven. So any advice on how to deepen my relationship with Christ? How to make bible studies more engaging and how to remember and take and live out what I read into my life to find real happiness with God and in Christ with the Holy Spirit?



OTHER STUFF: Also a bit unrelated but any tips on maintaining and strengthening faith while dealing with chronic illness among a friend, oneself or family? If I wrote anything to offend anyone, my dearest apologies and if I spread misinformation or you have another perspective please feel free to let me know. If you have anything else you'd like to discuss feel free to do so under this thread .



God bless you all brothers and sisters in christ <3 †

 

[Mem]

I swear, gossip, make fun of things and so on

If you could go back through all the history first occurrences of the www, you'd find JayneWohn, sitting at a poker table at PrizeWagon.com saying, "Aw, shut the front door!" I did this going trying to follow the example of a classmate that I had couldn't remember ever having heard swear. That is, he used a milder version of a word. Granted, he was still being mean but in a toned-down sort of way. For instance, a girl in art class thought it'd be funny to grab my purse to play keep away with me. I did not find the game very amusing, so I said, "Give me my purse back," and Rob chimed in, "Yeah, Pam, giver her purse back, hiney-sniffer." In this same way, you could limit your fun making to those that 'ask for it.' Back at the poker table, there was a player who was with 'his girl,' I can't remember his username but hers was 'blondie,' and I could tell they were a thing because he was nice to each other but making fun of everyone else, especially me. He would say things to me like, "I'll give you fiva dolla..." which incited my reply, "why, when blondes do it for fun?" and then another player chimed in, "Oh, snap with a z!" (I was born a blonde and so saying that makes me feel like I'm dissing my grandma but... I figured this instance was called for). So anyway, it wasn't so much that I behaved less like myself, but that I am, still to this day, trying to smooth out the edges.

As for gossip, it is said that gossip doesn't just hurt to one being gossiped about, but it always hurts the one speaking it and the one that hears it. So, maybe after hearing a tidbit, you might say, "ouch," or "did that hurt?", and if they say, "did what hurt?" bring that old saying up. I mean, it would make the conversation feel appropriately awkward, anyway.

I heard that teaching from a rabbi that I used to follow on a Christian network. He no longer broadcasts his program from there, but I pretty much kept up with him as he moved into a different platform. Even while at the Christian network, he never pretended to be Christian, but he had a love for them so idk why he discontinued his affiliation with it (as I wasn't keeping as close of tabs on him and found the program no longer airing there at last check). Come to think of it, he also has a teaching about swearing, but I've yet to begin to sit through it, although it'd probably do me good.

Anyway, I'm remembering a lesson he had on the Hebrew word for "face" is plural, 'panim,' and the reality that we all have many 'faces' that depend on how we relate to others. For instance, you have a school face, a friend face, as well as a daughter face, and a niece face, and maybe a taco bell face, and a church face, and so on. So, don't consider yourself the person at church as the one at school, you just know, intimately, what's okay with your friend and what isn't at church. And, of course, you shouldn't be 'shy' about letting a close friend know what is becoming 'not okay' with you. I mean, you should be able to say something like, "dah! I'm trying to cut out swearing!" and they'd be able to 'helpmeet' you halfway, as that is a part of intimacy like Eve was for Adam.

Golly, I wrote a lot, but recently I got the same word from two different people about needing to write that book I've been intending to for so long, but... it's scary... especially because I'm 40 years older now...
so... I think I'll wait to see if you're picking up what I put down before I add anything else.

 

[PearPie19]

If you could go back through all the history first occurrences of the www, you'd find JayneWohn, sitting at a poker table at PrizeWagon.com saying, "Aw, shut the front door!" I did this going trying to follow the example of a classmate that I had couldn't remember ever having heard swear. That is, he used a milder version of a word. Granted, he was still being mean but in a toned-down sort of way. For instance, a girl in art class thought it'd be funny to grab my purse to play keep away with me. I did not find the game very amusing, so I said, "Give me my purse back," and Rob chimed in, "Yeah, Pam, giver her purse back, hiney-sniffer." In this same way, you could limit your fun making to those that 'ask for it.' Back at the poker table, there was a player who was with 'his girl,' I can't remember his username but hers was 'blondie,' and I could tell they were a thing because he was nice to each other but making fun of everyone else, especially me. He would say things to me like, "I'll give you fiva dolla..." which incited my reply, "why, when blondes do it for fun?" and then another player chimed in, "Oh, snap with a z!" (I was born a blonde and so saying that makes me feel like I'm dissing my grandma but... I figured this instance was called for). So anyway, it wasn't so much that I behaved less like myself, but that I am, still to this day, trying to smooth out the edges.

As for gossip, it is said that gossip doesn't just hurt to one being gossiped about, but it always hurts the one speaking it and the one that hears it. So, maybe after hearing a tidbit, you might say, "ouch," or "did that hurt?", and if they say, "did what hurt?" bring that old saying up. I mean, it would make the conversation feel appropriately awkward, anyway.

I heard that teaching from a rabbi that I used to follow on a Christian network. He no longer broadcasts his program from there, but I pretty much kept up with him as he moved into a different platform. Even while at the Christian network, he never pretended to be Christian, but he had a love for them so idk why he discontinued his affiliation with it (as I wasn't keeping as close of tabs on him and found the program no longer airing there at last check). Come to think of it, he also has a teaching about swearing, but I've yet to begin to sit through it, although it'd probably do me good.

Anyway, I'm remembering a lesson he had on the Hebrew word for "face" is plural, 'panim,' and the reality that we all have many 'faces' that depend on how we relate to others. For instance, you have a school face, a friend face, as well as a daughter face, and a niece face, and maybe a taco bell face, and a church face, and so on. So, don't consider yourself the person at church as the one at school, you just know, intimately, what's okay with your friend and what isn't at church. And, of course, you shouldn't be 'shy' about letting a close friend know what is becoming 'not okay' with you. I mean, you should be able to say something like, "dah! I'm trying to cut out swearing!" and they'd be able to 'helpmeet' you halfway, as that is a part of intimacy like Eve was for Adam.

Golly, I wrote a lot, but recently I got the same word from two different people about needing to write that book I've been intending to for so long, but... it's scary... especially because I'm 40 years older now...
so... I think I'll wait to see if you're picking up what I put down before I add anything else.

Hey Mem! Thank you very much for your reply, I do get what you mean and will try to apply this into my life and discuss it with the Lord our father. You should totally write a book, like in Romans 12:6 (NIV) : "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;" If you end up writing it feel free to send a draft or the final product to me, Id love to read it! And yes feel free to add anything else .

Have a blessed day
PearPie19

 

[Mem]

Re: the context of "Sin at Home." I think you keyed in on the answer to that conundrum.

Consider 1Cor 6:17-19 and what "every other sin a man can commit is outside his body" might be saying. "But, he who sins sexually sins against his own body" provides a hint. If we lie, cheat, steal, we sin against our neighbor, we're effectively hating him, but sexually sins invite others to hate on ourselves, and we 'play along and pretend it's love. However, we're actually inviting other's into the Holy Spirit's home and letting them ransack it, so to speak, as much as they'd like. I mean, really, why would actual love 'hurt' yet, so many have claimed that it does. How many number one hits have been about love and loss but, if anyone ever found 'real love,' who wouldn't make sure it was secured so that it was never lost?

Jesus is real, though. And He didn't come to witness about Himself, He leaves that to the Father, and to the Holy Spirit, because that is what love does. He doesn't brag; He just loves. So, there's that.

The "Other Stuff" might take me a minute to formulate thoughts on. I'm finding myself wishing that I could confidently assert that it's as simple as placing our hands on the sick and saying, 'be healed, and believing it. But something in us is so very resistant in doing something like that, for some reason I'd like to figure out. I mean, it might even be as simply as just saying it but... why are we even so hesitant as to even try it? I was entertaining the possibility only recently, that I'd like to just once be brave enough to, when I noticed someone hurting, even just mentally or emotionally, just place my hand on their heart and say, 'be healed' and, if that turned out productive then I could progress to 'be whole' to cover everything, physical, mental, and emotional illness. But, I just think of it, take a deep wistful breath, and sigh.

 

[PearPie19]

Re: the context of "Sin at Home." I think you keyed in on the answer to that conundrum.

Consider 1Cor 6:17-19 and what "every other sin a man can commit is outside his body" might be saying. "But, he who sins sexually sins against his own body" provides a hint. If we lie, cheat, steal, we sin against our neighbor, we're effectively hating him, but sexually sins invite others to hate on ourselves, and we 'play along and pretend it's love. However, we're actually inviting other's into the Holy Spirit's home and letting them ransack it, so to speak, as much as they'd like. I mean, really, why would actual love 'hurt' yet, so many have claimed that it does. How many number one hits have been about love and loss but, if anyone ever found 'real love,' who wouldn't make sure it was secured so that it was never lost?

Jesus is real, though. And He didn't come to witness about Himself, He leaves that to the Father, and to the Holy Spirit, because that is what love does. He doesn't brag; He just loves. So, there's that.

The "Other Stuff" might take me a minute to formulate thoughts on. I'm finding myself wishing that I could confidently assert that it's as simple as placing our hands on the sick and saying, 'be healed, and believing it. But something in us is so very resistant in doing something like that, for some reason I'd like to figure out. I mean, it might even be as simply as just saying it but... why are we even so hesitant as to even try it? I was entertaining the possibility only recently, that I'd like to just once be brave enough to, when I noticed someone hurting, even just mentally or emotionally, just place my hand on their heart and say, 'be healed' and, if that turned out productive then I could progress to 'be whole' to cover everything, physical, mental, and emotional illness. But, I just think of it, take a deep wistful breath, and sigh.

Thank you very much for this verse and thoughts Mem. It really opened my eyes and I will talk to God about this.

About the last stuff, I really agree. Ive thought about it too, there really is something that makes us so hesitant. Ill think some more about this, if you find out more or have any more thoughts please share them if you'd like.

God Bless