Hi, Magenta. So I watched the first two videos of Alpha Course, and it was quite interesting. I liked the scientific and intellectual approach because it shows me, that it is possible to get logical access to god and Jesus teachings. I then watched - just to see another point of view - a video about a Christian theologist converting to Islam. His words made no sense, he converted just "to be right" and because the bible is not completely logical. Even I understand that this is not necessary and faith is less about being right, than doing the right things. Seeking historical accuracy in old religious texts makes no sense to me. I believe, this man never had real faith.
After that, I watched a video of a young Iranian living in Germany, converting to the Christian faith. Watching this made me so happy. He was such an angry young person before and Christians helped him to get a better, happier life. They achieved this by just showing him unconditionally love. The best quote I take from this video was: "I knocked on Allah's door, several times, but he didn't answer". He had several interventions, that he knew came not from Islam faith. At the end, those interventions, as soon as he accepted them, led him to Jesus. He was not about being right or historical correct, he found faith after a long and hard journey.
I think I did my first step. It's not about organized church or being in the right religion (at least for me at this point), it's about doing the right things and following the teachings of Jesus. Jesus is the center of Western morality, and it doesn't matter if the bible is 100% historical accurate (and who can tell, if it is or not). I remembered, that love indeed is the right way, even if I had forgotten or doubt that for a long time.