How long have you been single?

[Lanolin]

Living together without being married is living in ungodly fornication.

Getting married should be a total, unwavering commitment to one person for the rest of your life.

Christian marriage can be a taste of heaven on earth. Nothing else even remotely compares to it. To have a virtuous, deeply spiritual spouse as a trusted and delightful companion is the best thing, aside from salvation, that ever happened to me.

Do you have children? Just wondering. Are they virtuous and deeply spiritual too? Do you delight in being a dad? I hope so.

 

[Anchorite]

Being married is kind of similar to being joined to the hip. if you are too far away from each other you get all antsy. You can't survive without the other, and if one leaves its like your other half of you has been amputated. You need to kind of agree on everything, or it does't work. You need to go where the other one goes or you just end up splitting up. And you find you can't be alone, and you rely on the other person to help you - at all times.
Like I don't know, symbiosis.

I think spiritual symbiosis, having Christ IN you, is somewhat like a marriage, and the fruit, instead of children of the flesh, is your character, and others who are Christ like from following your example in Christ. If the scripture in Him we live and breathe and have our being, if we are members of His church, then we all kind of depend on Him while doing what we are created or ordained to do.

So similar but quite different. Fleshly marriage has a lot of problems that a spiritual marriage does not have. And a spiritual marriage is not imaginary. It's real, it's just you can't always SEE it and it can't die.

Anyway just my thoughts. If you are single, it's best to be singleminded. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways after all.

If you have never been married, you do not really know what marriage is like. You have to experience it, not theorize about it.

 

[Mordy]

Well, I have to say that having children was probably the best thing in my life and being able to teach them about the Lord. Now they have something to navigate with while I have to navigate my singleness. They still follow the Lord. And, if my wife decides, she wants a divorce and doesn't come back to me, then I feel free to marry. And I will marry the one that the Lord brings to me even though I am getting up there in age. I am still incredibly fit and full of joy and have a desire for deep intimate, companionship, and connection. This is a gift from the Lord. And I'm not going to say no to the gifts from the Lord.

 

[RodColeman]

Please be assured, that in Christianity, singleness is preferred, so you can serve God without distraction. In the late Roman Empire and early Medieval time, chastity was a heavenly virtue, celibacy was the token of devotion, marriage was a worldly affair, it was mostly arranged for economic and political purposes; the turning point was the 4th Lateran Council in 1215, that's when marriage became a formal religious sacrament, the church had officially asserted itself as the authority over marriage, private marriage was condemned; it was during the Romantic era in the 19th century that marriage was loosened from property transfer and political union and more toward feelings and emotions; it was as late as in the 1950s did monogamous marriage and nuclear family become the absolute norm for as much as over 90% of the population, and then in the 1980s was the rise of purity culture as the response to the sexual revolution and "free love" movement, that you "save yourself for marriage", which was a form of false prosperity gospel, that God will reward your faith with happy marriage.

I don't think it's quite right to say that "in Christianity, singleness is preferred, so you can serve God without distraction."
Even Jesus said that celibacy isn't for everyone.

And consider all the things Paul said. Paul's writing on this issue is pretty nuanced. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.

Also, a lot of the time, people say that being single is good because you can devote yourself more fully to God. And when you're dating or married, you, apparently, can't do that. A lot of this comes from 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says here that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single.

I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.

And, of course, in English, "distracting" has a negative connotation, so we often bring that into play when reading or teaching this passage. But it seems more like Paul might have merely been making the elementary observation that marriage, or the search for marriage, can place more demands on your time and attention than the life of someone who is genuinely content with being single (like Paul was) But, of course, Paul said that not everyone is like him, a single man content with being single.

 

[Anchorite]

Being single carries the danger of becoming narcissistic, selfish, and egotistic.

You become set in your ways, self-indulgences turn into ironclad habits, you think only of your own happiness. You have no honest critic to warn you about wrong directions you are headed in.

Being married provides the benefit of learning to sometimes set aside your own desires in order to please your spouse.

You learn how to compromise. You have a person who listens to you and understands you, enjoys your company, satisfies your romantic needs, destroys loneliness, shares holiday and personal celebrations, helps you confront problems, rejoices in your triumphs, and does things to enhance your wellbeing.

I was single for many years, then blissfully married for 21 years. Married life was infinitely better than single life.

I often tell God that I will need an infinity of eternities to give Him the praise He is due for bringing Andrea to me.

I am the type of guy who highly values the feminine presence.

But that is just my experience.

 

[JohnDB]

A help mate....
She is strong where I am weak.
I am strong where she is weak.
Together, we are more than the sum of our parts.

We do not always agree.
We have more than just physical intimacy....but emotional and intellectual intimacy to such a degree its making the physical intimacy less intimate. She knows my fears and wants....and I know hers.
I know what she wants before does...and vice versa. (She tells me to just shut up and not worry about how much it cost and just enjoy it anyway)
But together?
We are almost magic...we (with God's grace) have accomplished extreme things easily....we have sought to change the lives of Christian leaders for God...and done exactly that...in several countries.
We never will appear in anyone's memoirs or be published in magazines or be viral....but we still enjoy the effects we see.

 

[Lovette]

Marriage is definitely God’s divine plan for men and women to become one flesh and reproduce children.

You and I do not really understand what a spiritual union with God like the angels in heaven is like, unless we consider it as always doing God’s will and enjoying His companionship, like in a marriage relation.

God uses marriage as a metaphor for the union of Christ and the church because a virtuous marriage is such a wonderful blessing that is easily understood.

No, God's divine plan for men and woman is to become one flesh with Him through Christ Jesus, and make disciples of all nations. The only way to enjoy God's companionship is to worship and pray, for when two and more gather in his name, he's in our midst. Earthly may be a blessing, but it's not for everyone, and by no means should it be idolized and falsely advertised as "a metaphor for the union of Christ and the church” or a "taste of heaven", which directly contradicts Matt. 22:30. Whoever sells this matephor is committing the same error of the Sadducees', presuming the same earthly marriage will remain in the afterlife.

 

[Lovette]

The special someone refers to God selecting a companion for you that is the ideal mate.

That's what I'm talking about, false prosperity gospel, totally and purely fictional. Our ideal mate is Lord Jesus Christ who gave himself for us, He completes us, He stays with us forever, nothing in this world can set us apart from his love, not the vicissitudes of life, not the ebbs and flows of hormones. God's not a dating app, He doesn't owe you or me or anybody an "ideal mate", we owe him everything.

 

[Lovette]

It is fascinating to watch you at work. You have a true gift for arguing against everybody on all sides of an issue.

I am certain that if I mentioned cats are cool, you would bring up some incident of a cat going wild and attacking a human. If I said cats were of the devil you would mention the health benefits of petting a cat.

You occasionally say things I agree with, but I think that is a random coincidence. Your primary objective seems to be proving everybody on the forum wrong about everything.

You're mistaken, I posted that not as an argument, but to show an inconvenient truth. My primary and only objective is to best the idolatry of marriage. Marriage is a blessing, but such idolatry has turned it into a curse.

 

[Churchgoer]

Agree not to put marriage on pedestal. Whatever we do, either singlehood or marriage, all to honor God.
Thus if we marry, we need to obey the scripture and marry a believer, and stay in the marriage by scriptureteaching. If we single, keep our body and mind pure and holy.

 

[Lovette]

Living together without being married is living in ungodly fornication.

Getting married should be a total, unwavering commitment to one person for the rest of your life.

Christian marriage can be a taste of heaven on earth. Nothing else even remotely compares to it. To have a virtuous, deeply spiritual spouse as a trusted and delightful companion is the best thing, aside from salvation, that ever happened to me.

A taste of heaven? The bible teaches the polar opposite - angels in heaven left their proper abode to take wives on earth, and for that they are cast into hell!

This shows you don't understand resurrection, the core gospel message, our blessed hope, just like the Sadduccees. For in resurrection, death is defeated, all the redeemed are brought back to life, there'll be no need for birth to replenish the population, therefore no need for sex, and no need for earthly marriage to breed and raise children.

Now it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. (Gen. 6:1-2)

And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day; as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Being single carries the danger of becoming narcissistic, selfish, and egotistic.

You become set in your ways, self-indulgences turn into ironclad habits, you think only of your own happiness. You have no honest critic to warn you about wrong directions you are headed in.

Being married provides the benefit of learning to sometimes set aside your own desires in order to please your spouse.

You learn how to compromise. You have a person who listens to you and understands you, enjoys your company, satisfies your romantic needs, destroys loneliness, shares holiday and personal celebrations, helps you confront problems, rejoices in your triumphs, and does things to enhance your wellbeing.

I was single for many years, then blissfully married for 21 years. Married life was infinitely better than single life.

I often tell God that I will need an infinity of eternities to give Him the praise He is due for bringing Andrea to me.

I am the type of guy who highly values the feminine presence.

But that is just my experience.

So apostle Paul, Timothy, John the Baptist, John the beloved disciple, and generations of priests, monks, nuns and missionaries who've devoted their whole being to serve and glorify God, and Lord Jesus himself, are narcissistic, selfish, and egotistic?

 

[Lovette]

I don't think it's quite right to say that "in Christianity, singleness is preferred, so you can serve God without distraction."
Even Jesus said that celibacy isn't for everyone.

And consider all the things Paul said. Paul's writing on this issue is pretty nuanced. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.

Also, a lot of the time, people say that being single is good because you can devote yourself more fully to God. And when you're dating or married, you, apparently, can't do that. A lot of this comes from 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says here that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single.

I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.

And, of course, in English, "distracting" has a negative connotation, so we often bring that into play when reading or teaching this passage. But it seems more like Paul might have merely been making the elementary observation that marriage, or the search for marriage, can place more demands on your time and attention than the life of someone who is genuinely content with being single (like Paul was) But, of course, Paul said that not everyone is like him, a single man content with being single.

First of all, you're like all the pedlars of marriage, presuming marriage as a readily available option, as though a godly spouse is like a trust fund waiting for you to pick up as soon as you come of age, are you really that naive? This is not about marriage being good or bad, but being realistic to you, personally, or what you've only observed in other people's lives, but alien to you.

If you don't have a emotional, reciprocal relationship with anybody and nobody has such relationship with you, then marriage is just an abstract concept, you just assume you'll meet your "special someone" God has prepared for you, who may not even exist; even if she does exist, you may never get to meet her; you do meet her and fall in love with her, she may dismiss you, and your love is unrequited; she does love you back, there's still no guarantee that you two will make all the way to the altar. And if you fail to make it, what then? At best you'll be left heartbroken and taumatized, at worst you'll doubt God and yourself.

And finally, suppose you two do make it to the altar, marriage itself is still just a neutral institution, it ain't gonna magically transform you or fix you overnight, the output of your marriage is determined by you and your partner's input, just like the quality of a product is largely determined by the raw material.

 

[Lovette]

A help mate....
She is strong where I am weak.
I am strong where she is weak.
Together, we are more than the sum of our parts.

We do not always agree.
We have more than just physical intimacy....but emotional and intellectual intimacy to such a degree its making the physical intimacy less intimate. She knows my fears and wants....and I know hers.
I know what she wants before does...and vice versa. (She tells me to just shut up and not worry about how much it cost and just enjoy it anyway)
But together?
We are almost magic...we (with God's grace) have accomplished extreme things easily....we have sought to change the lives of Christian leaders for God...and done exactly that...in several countries.
We never will appear in anyone's memoirs or be published in magazines or be viral....but we still enjoy the effects we see.

"Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. " (Lk. 14:25-27)

“A certain man gave a great supper and invited many, and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ (Lk. 14:16-20)

 

[Lovette]

Well, I have to say that having children was probably the best thing in my life and being able to teach them about the Lord. Now they have something to navigate with while I have to navigate my singleness. They still follow the Lord. And, if my wife decides, she wants a divorce and doesn't come back to me, then I feel free to marry. And I will marry the one that the Lord brings to me even though I am getting up there in age. I am still incredibly fit and full of joy and have a desire for deep intimate, companionship, and connection. This is a gift from the Lord. And I'm not going to say no to the gifts from the Lord.

Jesus answered and said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; nor can they die anymore, for they are equal to the angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. (Lk. 20:34-36)

 

[JohnDB]

"Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. " (Lk. 14:25-27)

“A certain man gave a great supper and invited many, and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ (Lk. 14:16-20)

So go live off in the deep woods without internet....

But preaching your ideas are more right?

You do understand that if you preach evil things are good that is referred to as "Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit"....

As well as preaching good things are evil....

Both things are Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit....unrecoverable.

Might want to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Just saying....

 

[Lovette]

So go live off in the deep woods without internet....

But preaching your ideas are more right?

You do understand that if you preach evil things are good that is referred to as "Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit"....

As well as preaching good things are evil....

Both things are Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit....unrecoverable.

Might want to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Just saying....

I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. (Jn. 17:15-16)

 

[Anchorite]

A taste of heaven? The bible teaches the polar opposite - angels in heaven left their proper abode to take wives on earth, and for that they are cast into hell!

This shows you don't understand resurrection, the core gospel message, our blessed hope, just like the Sadduccees. For in resurrection, death is defeated, all the redeemed are brought back to life, there'll be no need for birth to replenish the population, therefore no need for sex, and no need for earthly marriage to breed and raise children.

This hostile comment show how bitter you are about being single, while many Christian’s married couples are enjoying the celestial blessings of godly marriage.

You think marriage is all about sex and producing children.

But marriage is about becoming one flesh, transforming two independent individuals into a solid team, working together, putting the other person’s needs above your own, and combining your strengths to overpower each other’s weaknesses.

God said it is not good for man to be alone.

The entire book of the Song of Solomon depicts the unique joys of marriage.

Christian marriage is indeed a taste of heaven, a preview of paradise, a delightful symbol of the union of Christ and the church, the bride of Christ.

I hope someday you will find that one special, God-ordained soul mate, for the thrill of having a loyal loving spouse, perfect companion, and wonderful helper is truly extraordinary.

 

[Lanolin]

If you have never been married, you do not really know what marriage is like. You have to experience it, not theorize about it.

Do you have children? Just wondering.
I lived with my married parents, so yea I know what it's like.

I don't have a dirty mind either.

 

[Lanolin]

Well, I have to say that having children was probably the best thing in my life and being able to teach them about the Lord. Now they have something to navigate with while I have to navigate my singleness. They still follow the Lord. And, if my wife decides, she wants a divorce and doesn't come back to me, then I feel free to marry. And I will marry the one that the Lord brings to me even though I am getting up there in age. I am still incredibly fit and full of joy and have a desire for deep intimate, companionship, and connection. This is a gift from the Lord. And I'm not going to say no to the gifts from the Lord.

Hold on what happened? Your wife divorced you? Or you divorced her? What is going on. Why are you single if you are married?

Can you explain as your post don't make sense.
How many children do you have and how old are they.

 

[Lovette]

This hostile comment show how bitter you are about being single, while many Christian’s married couples are enjoying the celestial blessings of godly marriage.

You think marriage is all about sex and producing children.

But marriage is about becoming one flesh, transforming two independent individuals into a solid team, working together, putting the other person’s needs above your own, and combining your strengths to overpower each other’s weaknesses.

God said it is not good for man to be alone.

The entire book of the Song of Solomon depicts the unique joys of marriage.

Christian marriage is indeed a taste of heaven, a preview of paradise, a delightful symbol of the union of Christ and the church, the bride of Christ.

I hope someday you will find that one special, God-ordained soul mate, for the thrill of having a loyal loving spouse, perfect companion, and wonderful helper is truly extraordinary.

And I hope someday you will accept the Lord's teachings, not men's hyping and pumping. I assure you, I have nothing against marriage, but I have everything against marriage as a golden calf, a false idol, in your exaltation of it.

His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given ... He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matt. 19:10-12)

Jesus answered and said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; nor can they die anymore, for they are equal to the angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. (Lk. 20:34-36)