How long have you been single?

[Lanolin]

I don't think it's quite right to say that "in Christianity, singleness is preferred, so you can serve God without distraction."
Even Jesus said that celibacy isn't for everyone.

And consider all the things Paul said. Paul's writing on this issue is pretty nuanced. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.

Also, a lot of the time, people say that being single is good because you can devote yourself more fully to God. And when you're dating or married, you, apparently, can't do that. A lot of this comes from 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says here that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single.

I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.

And, of course, in English, "distracting" has a negative connotation, so we often bring that into play when reading or teaching this passage. But it seems more like Paul might have merely been making the elementary observation that marriage, or the search for marriage, can place more demands on your time and attention than the life of someone who is genuinely content with being single (like Paul was) But, of course, Paul said that not everyone is like him, a single man content with being single.

Not all church elders or ministers or pastors are married, and definitely not those in the catholic church. So yea.
Paul wasn't a pastor, he was an apostle, and an evangelist.

 

[Brasspen]

...

 

[Lanolin]

Angels aren't married, but then they don't reproduce, so,

But they have important roles to fulfil. Jesus said we will be as angels in heaven, so..why not be like ones on earth? Marriage isn't a requirement to live a full life.

 

[Lanolin]

This hostile comment show how bitter you are about being single, while many Christian’s married couples are enjoying the celestial blessings of godly marriage.

You think marriage is all about sex and producing children.

But marriage is about becoming one flesh, transforming two independent individuals into a solid team, working together, putting the other person’s needs above your own, and combining your strengths to overpower each other’s weaknesses.

God said it is not good for man to be alone.

The entire book of the Song of Solomon depicts the unique joys of marriage.

Christian marriage is indeed a taste of heaven, a preview of paradise, a delightful symbol of the union of Christ and the church, the bride of Christ.

I hope someday you will find that one special, God-ordained soul mate, for the thrill of having a loyal loving spouse, perfect companion, and wonderful helper is truly extraordinary.

I thought Song of Solomon was about romping in the garden. I can romp too. I don't have to be married to do that.

Besides, Solomon had what 900 wives and concubines or some crazy number. I don't even know how thats possible.

I definitely have had working partnerships and worked in teams so, thats a joy, and working with children is also joyous even when they are not perfect. I don't expect them to be.

 

[Brasspen]

@Lanolin You, I really don't know how any knows that.

I don't believe God would have the Angels, relationship less, not when we have something so nice.

 

[Lovette]

Not all church elders or ministers or pastors are married, and definitely not those in the catholic church. So yea.
Paul wasn't a pastor, he was an apostle, and an evangelist.

But Timothy was a pastor, in charge of the Ephesian church. He was a half Jewish young man, circumcised but not married.

To Timothy, a true son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. As I urged you when I went into Macedonia—remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine ... (1 Tim. 1:2-3)

 

[Lanolin]

The bride of Christ is the church which includes men and women..and children I presume.

But it was also about land and ownership. It's a spiritual metaphor.

Anyway if you are married and content hooray. If you are unmarried and content, hallelujah. But thats a different thread.

I think this is the 'how long have you been single' thread.

I already answered, so, will leave off for now.

 

[Lanolin]

But Timothy was a pastor, in charge of the Ephesian church. He was a half Jewish young man, circumcised but not married.

To Timothy, a true son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. As I urged you when I went into Macedonia—remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine ... (1 Tim. 1:2-3)

oh right, I thought he was a teacher. Yea he was unmarried, there was no Mrs Timothy..that I know of.
And Paul was calling him his spiritual son if I recall.

 

[Lanolin]

@Lanolin You, I really don't know how any knows that.

I don't believe God would have the Angels, relationship less, not when we have something so nice.

Oh it's in the Bible. You can look it up, ref Matthew 22:30

Won't give the full chapter here, but if you got your Bible you can read the whole thing. I don't like posting just one verse or half a verse out of context, best if you read the entire chapter.

 

[Lovette]

The bride of Christ is the church which includes men and women..and children I presume.

But it was also about land and ownership. It's a spiritual metaphor.

Anyway if you are married and content hooray. If you are unmarried and content, hallelujah. But thats a different thread.

I think this is the 'how long have you been single' thread.

I already answered, so, will leave off for now.

Keep in mind that by default, we're all single, for we're all born as singles from the womb with no claim on anybody else as a spouse. More than half of the adult population is single, yet the church and the whole society still treat marriage as the "norm". A little common sense and a touch with reality will tell you that taking the risk of abandonment, rejection, manipulation, even false allegation to love, date and marry is a choice, not doing so is absence of a choice, and that's the real norm and default.

 

[G00WZ]

It's amazing how a simple thread turned into an entire blah session.

 

[ZoomerX]

Im 24 years old, and i don't even know if i will ever get married. The world is getting more and more insane by the day. I'm looking online and seeing how a lot of women "act", let's just say it's not looking good so far.

 

[Lovette]

It's amazing how a simple thread turned into an entire blah session.

It is not simple to ignore all social pressures and assure yourself that it is a badge of honor to spend the rest of your life and enter the afterlife as an undefiled virgin, never having laid a hand on any woman - or man.

 

[RodColeman]

Keep in mind that by default, we're all single, for we're all born as singles from the womb with no claim on anybody else as a spouse. More than half of the adult population is single, yet the church and the whole society still treat marriage as the "norm". A little common sense and a touch with reality will tell you that taking the risk of abandonment, rejection, manipulation, even false allegation to love, date and marry is a choice, not doing so is absence of a choice, and that's the real norm and default.

Well the reason people treat marriage as the "norm," if you will, is because lots of people, maybe most, have strong romantic and sexual desires. Nothing wrong with that. That's normal for lots of people.

 

[JohnDB]

It is not simple to ignore all social pressures and assure yourself that it is a badge of honor to spend the rest of your life and enter the afterlife as an undefiled virgin, never having laid a hand on any woman - or man.

That's not happening in the UK....

Between the rape gangs and the rioting.
Women are not safe....
Then in Ireland the men are not safe from the rape gangs either....or is it London....can't remember what happens where over there.

 

[Lovette]

Well the reason people treat marriage as the "norm," if you will, is because lots of people, maybe most, have strong romantic and sexual desires. Nothing wrong with that. That's normal for lots of people.

Yes, it's normal, but don't worship it as an idol, the measure of success, the only meaningful pursuit in life, and use it as a frame of reference to judge other people and yourself. What's wrong about it is that such desires reduce you to an animal, and even animals have regular seasons for mating, humans are lustful any time, all the time. And when such desires are unsatiated, or not sufficiently satiated, it would become the root of all your agonies.

 

[JohnDB]

Considering how much Livette gets wrong.....wondering if they are Protestant or Catholic....

I'm betting Unionist.....

 

[Lovette]

That's not happening in the UK....

Between the rape gangs and the rioting.
Women are not safe....
Then in Ireland the men are not safe from the rape gangs either....or is it London....can't remember what happens where over there.

Then empathize with the victims, recommend Dr. Holly Richmond's book Reclaim Pleasure to them, and petition for justice and compensation.

“If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins." (Ex. 22:16-17)

 

[JohnDB]

Then empathize with the victims, recommend Dr. Holly Richmond's book Reclaim Pleasure to them, and petition for justice and compensation.

“If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins." (Ex. 22:16-17)

When you take the snakes out of the cage and bring them into your home....
Now you want sympathy because you got snake bit?

That's a bit.....
(Finding myself at a loss for words)

 

[Mordy]

Hold on what happened? Your wife divorced you? Or you divorced her? What is going on. Why are you single if you are married?

Can you explain as your post don't make sense.
How many children do you have and how old are they.

Separated with zero contact regarding anything that has to do to work towards a goal or affection. I tried for a long time. But I don't believe in trying to manipulate or force anybody into reconciliation. The goal of any relationship should be connection.If somebody tells you "I don't want a connection I'm sorry" it's pretty clear that person has made their decision about the future of your relationship. Until then I'm open to the miracle of love as God is the only one to bring two hearts together. My daughters are grown up now. The youngest is 17. I wish things had gone a different way but I trust God for my future. And I am at peace as much as one can be in today's world. I'm doing good creative projects, and building my life. If one day I can share that, and Ruth lays down at my feet., then I will throw a blanket over her.