Why is it so hard to find a true Christian man in my small town?!

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Sunshine2026

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Jun 14, 2026
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Listennnn if you know you know! I live in a small town in WV, and the dating scene is either “oh I’m a Christian (they arnt their just posers)” or “oh I’m a christian(but am taken)” like whyyyyy. Like I just want a Godly man of God that isn’t far away, that will be the leader he is called to be in a relationship and be handsome is that so hard to ask for! Like bro…I mise we’ll be single and have a lot of cats at this point.💀
 
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Well options are limited in a small town mainly because there just aren't that many people there. And not many people often translates to not a lot of economic opportunity for the young men in tow so they don't stay there.

As for the church side, there's a book titled why men hate going to church that basically lays out how churches have become very welcoming places for women that cater to women's strengths and desires but ysually leave men feeling like they aren't valued or there's something wrong with them and don't really address men's deep seated needs and fears in the same way. And one of the things they tend to say about the women looking for Godly men is that their standards and expectations are so high that even Jesus wouldn't be acceptable to them. So as you look for this man of God be sure your expectations are in line with the fact that even if he's super devoted to Jesus, he's still just a mere mortal man not some super human saint.

That doesn't mean that there aren't Godly men out there, but they have their own sets of challenges.
 
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cinder said:
Well options are limited in a small town mainly because there just aren't that many people there. And not many people often translates to not a lot of economic opportunity for the young men in tow so they don't stay there.

As for the church side, there's a book titled why men hate going to church that basically lays out how churches have become very welcoming places for women that cater to women's strengths and desires but ysually leave men feeling like they aren't valued or there's something wrong with them and don't really address men's deep seated needs and fears in the same way. And one of the things they tend to say about the women looking for Godly men is that their standards and expectations are so high that even Jesus wouldn't be acceptable to them. So as you look for this man of God be sure your expectations are in line with the fact that even if he's super devoted to Jesus, he's still just a mere mortal man not some super human saint.

That doesn't mean that there aren't Godly men out there, but they have their own sets of challenges.
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Well said.
 
Sunshine2026 said:
Listennnn if you know you know! I live in a small town in WV, and the dating scene is either “oh I’m a Christian (they arnt their just posers)” or “oh I’m a christian(but am taken)” like whyyyyy. Like I just want a Godly man of God that isn’t far away, that will be the leader he is called to be in a relationship and be handsome is that so hard to ask for! Like bro…I mise we’ll be single and have a lot of cats at this point.💀
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Logical fallacies? No True Scotsman?
 
cinder said:
Well options are limited in a small town mainly because there just aren't that many people there. And not many people often translates to not a lot of economic opportunity for the young men in tow so they don't stay there.

As for the church side, there's a book titled why men hate going to church that basically lays out how churches have become very welcoming places for women that cater to women's strengths and desires but ysually leave men feeling like they aren't valued or there's something wrong with them and don't really address men's deep seated needs and fears in the same way. And one of the things they tend to say about the women looking for Godly men is that their standards and expectations are so high that even Jesus wouldn't be acceptable to them. So as you look for this man of God be sure your expectations are in line with the fact that even if he's super devoted to Jesus, he's still just a mere mortal man not some super human saint.

That doesn't mean that there aren't Godly men out there, but they have their own sets of challenges.
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That’s crazy. My church does stuff for both women and men they really take care of us buttt our church is mostly filled with old people. Literally my standards arnt too high all I wnat is a man that is handsome and has a good relationship with the lord like ahhh.
 
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yea its full of oldies mostly.

The 'mega churches' you might find someone but beauty (or handsomeness) is in the eye of the beholder. The women I know who found church husbands all got divorced.
And funnily enough, the women who married atheists stayed with them.

And I'm not sure you'd want someone 20 years older who'd been divorced already and they are going to church to find a younger lady such as yourself.
 
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In Japan the people have cat cafes because they live in such tiny apartments, and are not allowed pets.
 
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Sunshine2026 said:
That’s crazy. My church does stuff for both women and men they really take care of us buttt our church is mostly filled with old people. Literally my standards arnt too high all I wnat is a man that is handsome and has a good relationship with the lord like ahhh.
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Just out of curiosity, have you ever looked at the ratio of women to men in your church, even if it's all old people? Are there any churches around that have a younger demographic where the young men might feel more comfortable? Also do any of those old people have potentially christian kids or grandkids your age?
 
I found that their adult children do not go to the same church as their parents, simply because they've moved away from home.

Small towns can be very insular. Of the older married couples I know that have adult male children my age for example, none are believers, or they married to others very young.
Also, I didn't go to Bible college where I might have met someone, and I don't think I would have gone anyway, its a bit late now to enrol (and expensive) so yea.
Even in big towns/cities its hard to find anyone, also, lots of men pretend to be Christians. You can never be sure, as plenty of churchgoers are not, they might only go for other reasons.

Even the more evangelical churches can be a problem. A lot of the married couples on here are retired and have time to post, while many younger working man wouldn't.. IDK. They don't tend to stick around long enough. Maybe they find someone on the chat and stop posting once they get their ad up saying they are single and looking for someone who ends up being miles and miles away.
 
This is where some go on Tinder or something like that. Even the ones who go on Tinder (and you have to be wary, in my country, gals have actually met killers and criminals on there) may find someone but they live in another city or town miles away and its a considerable expense to maintain a long distance relationship. You have to be willing to move, and people only move to new places if they can find work there. They can't afford to otherwise.

Anyway, when people say 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' thats often a lie. There aren't or the water is polluted and you don't want a fish from there or to live there anyway.
 
Having a lot of cats isn't a good idea. They'll be avoiding each other or getting into cat fights all the time.
 
Sunshine2026 said:
Listennnn if you know you know! I live in a small town in WV, and the dating scene is either “oh I’m a Christian (they arnt their just posers)” or “oh I’m a christian(but am taken)” like whyyyyy. Like I just want a Godly man of God that isn’t far away, that will be the leader he is called to be in a relationship and be handsome is that so hard to ask for! Like bro…I mise we’ll be single and have a lot of cats at this point.💀
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the devil's temptations are running more powerful & numerous. i believe he knows his time is very short. people are falling for it. the devil knows mankind will succumb easy to temptation because it offers something now, not later. then, common ordinary influence of friends & events around your community, the tv, radio & all of modern tech's info & news is a major source of temptation. i asked Jesus for a girlfriend & He told me, "about 3 to 4 years". i waited 204 weeks, 4 weeks shy of 4 years!!! the waiting is a gigantic issue, we all know that. know that God's timing is perfect, He knows what's best for you & He does what's best for you. every time you find yourself disappointed, tearful, sad, etc., smile immediately about your favorite interests in life. you have no choice but to wait it out with love, patience, faith, trust smiles & gratitude. blessings to you.
 
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Lanolin said:
This is where some go on Tinder or something like that. Even the ones who go on Tinder (and you have to be wary, in my country, gals have actually met killers and criminals on there) may find someone but they live in another city or town miles away and its a considerable expense to maintain a long distance relationship. You have to be willing to move, and people only move to new places if they can find work there. They can't afford to otherwise.

Anyway, when people say 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' thats often a lie. There aren't or the water is polluted and you don't want a fish from there or to live there anyway.
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There is pretty much ZERO chance of finding a solid believer on Tinder.
 
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Try Christiancafe.com and Christianmingl. Better chance for real Christians.
But of course scammers too.
Just be wise and alert.
 
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Oh the dreaded coffee date.
Where is the Christian Cafe anyway?

There are lots of cafes in my area but none of them are called Christian Cafe.
 
There is Hell Pizza though. You can either call and go pick up, or get it delivered.
Which one are you.
 
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