Ministering to the Grieving

[ciicii]

Your profile says that you are separated, and the comments above lead me to believe that your divorce has not been finalized yet. You also seem to be willing for reconciliation. Is there any chance that your husband might be as well? Does he profess to believe in God or Christ? Have either of you gotten anybody else involved, like maybe a pastor, counselor, or a mutual friend? Is it possible that you could share his motivation for wanting the divorce? I am not trying to be nosy. Instead, I am just wondering if some more inevitable pain associated with a divorce might somehow be averted

I am heading out now for a long, busy, and more-than-likely horrible day at work. I hope that my questions are not intrusive or offensive, and you certainly do not need to answer any of them. In my own little way, I am just trying to potentially help.​

No he is not willing at all to reconcile. I have brought my pastor and christian counciling in and therapy for his own issues but he has faugth against it the whole time. That is why we are still livign together. I have been hoping that maybe just having mroe time and delayign the divorce would give us time to pray and have God save him (it has been about 7 months or so now)

But he went from cheatign to cross dressing to homosexuality to now transgenderisim and recently attack christianity but he left it much earlier in the process fo all of this. and now we are in seperate rooms and he just slams the door in my face or ignores me most days.

So now he has decide not to delay the divorce anymore take hormone therapy early and wants the divorce finalized in a few months. So unless something changes withint the next month and a half there is nothing else I can do.

I despise everything he is doing, but I know that God forgives us so many times when we sin which is also an act of betrayal so I am more than willing and think it will make him stronger if he softens his heart and comes to God. (i still listen to the daily bread in the car so he can hear some scripture but he wont tolerate more than that).

If you have any ideas those please let me know because I am still more than willing. And I told him I am still respecting my vows until the papers are signed, but I am so tired of fighting that I have just given it to God and focused on my relationship with Him for now for the sake os self preservation. I can't continuign seeing my husband in womens night gowns and someone gave him fake breast and he is constantly online with friends trading like porn and he is fantisiing about things and doign stuff in the room over. it is all too much for me to handle honestly.

Especially when I started to wonder if this was a punishment for some kind of sin i committed that i just didn't know about. Like marrying him when we were unequally yoked? I was a baby christian at the time but i thought that his enthusiasm and opens to learn about Christ with me and him saying he believes in God was enough or some reason and imagined us growing in Christ together but I think that was wrong idk.

I will admit last week i threw my wedding rings away though I couldn't look at them. My 'husband' has never really gone out of his way, like he got me a 20 dollar ring. (we were poor so it was okay and I loved that he was marrying me that's all that mattered) but it was corroding and it just made me think that it was a symbol of our marriage, especially since his ring (my vow to him) is still like untarnished, his hasn't corroded at all. That might just be the writer in me but yeah it was too much and now I am just angry at home. I feel like I am coming off as passive aggressive when i don't say anything or use very few words, but I want to hold my tongue because this wickedness is just not right.

**sigh** my head just always goes back to prayer and waiting for God to answer or comfort me, and then just wanting to be cherished. I feel very alone tbh i am seeing a councilor though for marriage counseling and personal counseling since he doesn't always come.

Anyway have a great day at work! i pray that it is not awful and the Lord will uplift you. and no worries honestly at this point nothing is too much I just need help. God helped me get a new job thought for myself, before i was doing graveyard shifts for my husband but now i have some morning shifts with a better work environment and future growth at the end of the month.

 

[passion84god]

Anyway have a great day at work! i pray that it is not awful and the Lord will uplift you.

I just texted my manager and told him that I am taking the day off. I have so much going on in my own life right now that it has terribly affected my ability to sleep. My commute to work this morning would have been about two hours, and I honestly don't feel capable of safely driving that distance right now. Losing a day of work is bad for me because I work in sales and my pay is entirely commission-based, but I would rather lose a day's pay than possibly lose my own life or take somebody else's life in a car accident. Enough about me. Back to you.

Wow. When I inquired about your husband, I never anticipated that he was involved in the types of things that you described. I am truly speechless at the moment. I will definitely pray that God somehow gets a hold of him, even though God may have already given him over to a reprobate mind based upon what you shared.

I will reread both of your responses in a bit and focus my attention on trying to help you. I just need a few minutes because I am so physically exhausted. You will definitely be in my prayers, and thank you so much for sharing what you are going through.​

 

[passion84god]

Yeah it makes sense. I am actually struggling with bitterness right now towards my soon to be ex husband because his heart has turned to stone and God has let him indulge in his depravity. Like he has cheated on me with other men at this point online has totally gone back on his word with belief in God and marriage, he also confided in gender confused people and is now claiming to be a woman and I feel so lost since the years before that I have done nothing but serve him since he has been sick for a few years unable to work.

I feel very bitter towards them and like your friend want to block him out of my life (kind of hard since we are still under the same roof), because it is so hard especially when people like that are also like, still perusing evil and are not sorry at all. I am not sure how your friend feels but anger and heartache even with friends seem to be cut from the same cloth and is unbarable.

But I understand what you are saying too, people like this need prayer, we are to pray for our enemies. I really want to but find it hard to do so consistently. I was recently think of how Jesus treated Judas the day before. he still washed his feet, that to me is wild the more i think about how much humility and grace it takes to show that kind of kindness and mercy to someone who he knew from the start will betray him. I want to be like that, but honestly i was made to be a wife. I have no idea how to do that without catering to someone. So I just stay away tbh.

especially since right now i kind of feel stupid for giving a decade of my life and kind of being thrown away. my 'husband' made sure to say when he wanted me he was very happy with his life but now he just doesn't and made it seem like it was a natural way of life and nothing wrong with it.

the vengeful side of me wants God to save him just so that he can feel the weight of what he is doing and be crushed by that conviction, i need serious prayer on my own heart tbh. I know it is okay to grieve but not sure how to do it without sinning.

Thank you so much for sharing and responding I know I kind of said a lot but i do enjoy POV from men and women of God because we are made different. I hope I can get remarried, I know nothing is guaranteed but honestly as of now these past few years i keep on saying there is nothing left that can be taken from me and I am sadly proven wrong, so I am hoping this year after my marriage is taken I will start getting some peace and hope again.

most days I am weary and battling a lot of lies about my self worth.
(it has changed a bit but I can't tell for sure if it is me just puffing myself up for self preservation or God healing me tbh)

anyway I know that was a lot but I would love your opinion and prayer. and I will also pray for the situation going on with your friends. it is really amazing when God allwos us to see the tranformation of a heart that is in our own lives, and part of me still wants to see that with my ex but I don't think he wants saving.

I am not a psychologist, but I do believe that there is a direct correlation between your feelings of bitterness and your doubting of your own self worth. When you give yourself fully to someone else, like you did with your husband, and you are not reciprocated in the same manner, it can make you feel bitter towards the other person and worthless in your own eyes. However, our self worth should never be determined by how others treat or mistreat us. Ciicii, here is your true self worth:​

Acts 20:28​

28 Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.

1 Corinthians 6:20​

20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Peter 1:18-20​

18 knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers,
19 but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.
20 He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you

These quotes are all from the NKJV Bible that you prefer. In these verses, and many other verses just like them, we see the price that God was willing to pay to redeem you, and that price was the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Ciicii, even though he was God and equal with God prior to his incarnation, Jesus willingly chose to become submissive to God in his humanity, while retaining his divinity, and he willingly died to redeem you. It doesn't stop there. He was buried, and he rose from the dead to give you victory over the grave. He also ascended back to heaven, where he presently sits at the Father's right hand as your merciful and faithful high priest. He has also been glorified so that you might one day share his glory in a glorified body at his second coming. This is your worth, Ciicii. Had your husband truly walked with Christ, then he would have loved you in the same manner in which Christ loves the church. His shortcomings and failures are his shortcomings and failures, and in no way do they reflect your worth in God's eyes.

Furthermore, I would venture as far as to say that some of us have already seen your worth ourselves. From your introductory post, I saw something rare in you. When Jesus first encountered Nathanael, he referred to him as "an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile." There is a genuineness about you and a seeming lack of any pretense or superficiality, and that is rare these days. Like a rare coin of great worth. I think that I can speak for others, as well as for myself, by saying that we have already been blessed by your presence here. You will get through this, and you will be stronger when you come out the other side. God bless you.​

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[ciicii]

I just texted my manager and told him that I am taking the day off. I have so much going on in my own life right now that it has terribly affected my ability to sleep. My commute to work this morning would have been about two hours, and I honestly don't feel capable of safely driving that distance right now. Losing a day of work is bad for me because I work in sales and my pay is entirely commission-based, but I would rather lose a day's pay than possibly lose my own life or take somebody else's life in a car accident. Enough about me. Back to you.

Wow. When I inquired about your husband, I never anticipated that he was involved in the types of things that you described. I am truly speechless at the moment. I will definitely pray that God somehow gets a hold of him, even though God may have already given him over to a reprobate mind based upon what you shared.

I will reread both of your responses in a bit and focus my attention on trying to help you. I just need a few minutes because I am so physically exhausted. You will definitely be in my prayers, and thank you so much for sharing what you are going through.​

oh i am so sorry i am glad you are not taking the risk but commission based work is a nightmare. are you looking for something better (i will add that to my prayer list if so) or if i can keep my eye open for something specific in your field. please lmk

I actually was just coming on to thank you since you are the only Christian so far that has asked about advocating for the marriage. I've isolated myself a lot since most people said there is no hope from the beginning and I just didn't want those opinions while I was still fighting.

and thank you, yeah it was all a total left field. I am pretty familiar with the culture too but never thought he would do that stuff in like less than a year everything changed. i look forward to any advice you have but thank you for the prayers and hope you get some serious rest. I am the same tbh i work overnight shifts lol so my sleep is messed up a bit too. take more than a few minutes take a few hours!

 

[passion84god]

oh i am so sorry i am glad you are not taking the risk but commission based work is a nightmare. are you looking for something better (i will add that to my prayer list if so) or if i can keep my eye open for something specific in your field. please lmk

I am definitely looking for a new job. In fact, I left work early yesterday, and I drove almost two hours back to the area where I live. When I got there, I went into some businesses and asked them if they were hiring. One was, and I filled out an application. I might hear back from them today. I also recently interviewed for a manager's position, and they still haven't made their final decision as to who will get the job. That decision will probably be made tomorrow. I feel bad asking, but since you offered, I would appreciate it if you said a prayer for God's will to be done in my life. Thank you.​

 

[ciicii]

I am not a psychologist, but I do believe that there is a direct correlation between your feelings of bitterness and your doubting of your own self worth. When you give yourself fully to someone else, like you did with your husband, and you are not reciprocated in the same manner, it can make you feel bitter towards the other person and worthless in your own eyes. However, our self worth should never be determined by how others treat or mistreat us. Ciicii, here is your true self worth:​

Acts 20:28​

28 Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.

1 Corinthians 6:20​

20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Peter 1:18-20​

18 knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers,
19 but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.
20 He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you

These quotes are all from the NKJV Bible that you prefer. In these verses, and many other verses just like them, we see the price that God was willing to pay to redeem you, and that price was the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Ciicii, even though he was God and equal with God prior to his incarnation, Jesus willingly chose to become submissive to God in his humanity, while retaining his divinity, and he willingly died to redeem you. It doesn't stop there. He was buried, and he rose from the dead to give you victory over the grave. He also ascended back to heaven, where he presently sits at the Father's right hand as your merciful and faithful high priest. He has also been glorified so that you might one day share his glory in a glorified body at his second coming. This is your worth, Ciicii. Had your husband truly walked with Christ, then he would have loved you in the same manner in which Christ loves the church. His shortcomings and failures are his shortcomings and failures, and in no way do they reflect your worth in God's eyes.

Furthermore, I would venture as far as to say that some of us have already seen your worth ourselves. From your introductory post, I saw something rare in you. When Jesus first encountered Nathanael, he referred to him as "an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile." There is a genuineness about you and a seeming lack of any pretense or superficiality, and that is rare these days. Like a rare coin of great worth. I think that I can speak for others, as well as for myself, by saying that we have already been blessed by your presence here. You will get through this, and you will be stronger when you come out the other side. God bless you.​

.

Thank you so much. Saying thank you is a severe understatement to how I feel right now but I really needed this scripture as a reminder right now so I have no words to describe the help you've just given me.

Thank you for your words of encouragement too and genuine kindness, I need some time to process all of this to be honest and some serious prayer I think, but thank you for reminding me with God's word and being a brother more than I have ever had in such little time this has been such a blessing you have no idea.

I am hoping I can do the same for you in anyway I can truly.

 

[ciicii]

I am definitely looking for a new job. In fact, I left work early yesterday, and I drove almost two hours back to the area where I live. When I got there, I went into some businesses and asked them if they were hiring. One was, and I filled out an application. I might hear back from them today. I also recently interviewed for a manager's position, and they still haven't made their final decision as to who will get the job. That decision will probably be made tomorrow. I feel bad asking, but since you offered, I would appreciate it if you said a prayer for God's will to be done in my life. Thank you.​

Yes I will congratulations too!!! I have been praying for a new position i already told you and got an assistant manager position. I am praying God will relieve you if you would like I can send you my written prayer too afterwards as well, please let me know how it goes and when you hear back from them.

 

[passion84god]

and thank you, yeah it was all a total left field. I am pretty familiar with the culture too but never thought he would do that stuff in like less than a year everything changed. i look forward to any advice you have but thank you for the prayers and hope you get some serious rest.

At present, it seems like you have done all of the right things in trying to reach your husband. It also appears that he is presently totally rebelling against God and his Spirit. Sometimes, we just need to let people go while praying that God still continues to strive with them. There is no guarantee that your husband will ever change, but I can say with confidence that God is not willing that he should perish, but come to repentance, so he will strive with him up until the point that your husband totally rejects him. At that point, I truly believe that God just gives people over to their own desires, and Romans chapter 1 has a lot to say about that process. It is a scary thing to watch, and I know people like that in my own life. Ultimately, we have no control over anybody's will but our own. Please guard your own heart, and don't let defiling bitterness take root there. Currently, your husband is a corrupt tree, capable of only producing corrupt fruit. Again, that is not a reflection of your own self worth in God's eyes. If you are in Christ, and you certainly seem to be, then you are accepted in the beloved. Rest secure in that. Both of you are in my prayers.​

 

[passion84god]

Thank you so much. Saying thank you is a severe understatement to how I feel right now but I really needed this scripture as a reminder right now so I have no words to describe the help you've just given me.

Thank you for your words of encouragement too and genuine kindness, I need some time to process all of this to be honest and some serious prayer I think, but thank you for reminding me with God's word and being a brother more than I have ever had in such little time this has been such a blessing you have no idea.

I am hoping I can do the same for you in anyway I can truly.

You are more than welcome. Believe me, I have had to meditate on those same scriptures at many different stages of my own walk with Christ in order to not lose hope or grow weary and faint in my own mind. As depicted in my profile picture, my own pilgrimage has been mostly walking this earth alone, with no one to turn to but God himself. In hindsight, it has turned out to be a sort of blessing in disguise. So much of what I desired in this life was thrust upon me by what I would call "societal pressures." Now, the only thing that matters to me is helping others to navigate their way through this crazy world while overcoming it through Christ. Don't ever hesitate to cry out for help. Even if you just need a listening ear. That is the best way that you or anybody else could help me. By allowing me to help you. I am going to try to watch the rest of that movie now before getting some more sleep. I am really curious to find out why it is your favorite movie.​

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Actually thank you, I am in the same position and have been so confused over my own grief because people make it seem like you are not allowed to grieve or you need to be optomistic and hopeful in time of suffering.

I lost my child after trying for like a really long time and the first thing people said were "your pain will be a testimony to help others" or they just didn't say anything at all or said "they can't wait to see me back to my cheery self" but in my head i was like ... i am not going to be my cheery self again, my child just died and no one is willing to talk to me about it, not even my soon to be ex husband who said "it isn't real until there is a bump" but like i was well into my second trimester.

It made me really angry and bitter, it still does since again i am going through loss (the divorce is not my choice at all) and I wish there were more willing to listen to those aching hearts without judgement or the urge to correct. There is a time to mourn and a time to laugh.

I would love to see more people in the church be empathetic in that way and seriously listen. in a way my pain that is still going on has made me more empathetic which is great, but it is also very raw which could be problematic if nut funneled through God's will and grace first, but you need more Christians to talk to about those 'forbidden thoughts, fears, pains and total despair"

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have a dear friend who lost three babies before the Lord gave her two girls. They are grown with children of their own. She still remembers her little ones she lost in a special way, teaching her girls that they were in heaven.

I believe each person needs to have the time to cope with their feelings. That can be grief, that can be remembering with a special place. I have been searching AI and there are several sweet ways to remember the passing of a loved one.

When there is drama of course that makes the healing time take longer. I hope you have someone you can talk to that can help you clear your thoughts and feelings and move on. In the end God will wipe away all our tears. We don't mourn as those who have no hope. Let God be your main comfort, He loves us and knows just what we need. <3

 

[ciicii]

At present, it seems like you have done all of the right things in trying to reach your husband. It also appears that he is presently totally rebelling against God and his Spirit. Sometimes, we just need to let people go while praying that God still continues to strive with them. There is no guarantee that your husband will ever change, but I can say with confidence that God is not willing that he should perish, but come to repentance, so he will strive with him up until the point that your husband totally rejects him. At that point, I truly believe that God just gives people over to their own desires, and Romans chapter 1 has a lot to say about that process. It is a scary thing to watch, and I know people like that in my own life. Ultimately, we have no control over anybody's will but our own. Please guard your own heart, and don't let defiling bitterness take root there. Currently, your husband is a corrupt tree, capable of only producing corrupt fruit. Again, that is not a reflection of your own self worth in God's eyes. If you are in Christ, and you certainly seem to be, then you are accepted in the beloved. Rest secure in that. Both of you are in my prayers.​

Thank you, I appreciate you keeping him in your prayers too!
I do find it hard to reflect on him and what he is doing but you are right that I need to be careful that defiling bitterness doesn't set root in my own heart. I can feel it wear me down often when i lean into it on really bad days. I may read in the perspective when going over scripture possible romans 1 since you brought that up too.

You are very wise in your advice bring scripture into everything i can see that and appreciate it a lot. And it is good to think that it is Gos will and desire that everyone be saved, thats the hope i carry when I do pray for my husband, if some miracle happens i will be excited to give an update.

You are in my prayers too though, i hope you get one of the jobs you are waiting to hear from at the very least so you can have security and needed rest.

 

[ciicii]

You are more than welcome. Believe me, I have had to meditate on those same scriptures at many different stages of my own walk with Christ in order to not lose hope or grow weary and faint in my own mind. As depicted in my profile picture, my own pilgrimage has been mostly walking this earth alone, with no one to turn to but God himself. In hindsight, it has turned out to be a sort of blessing in disguise. So much of what I desired in this life was thrust upon me by what I would call "societal pressures." Now, the only thing that matters to me is helping others to navigate their way through this crazy world while overcoming it through Christ. Don't ever hesitate to cry out for help. Even if you just need a listening ear. That is the best way that you or anybody else could help me. By allowing me to help you. I am going to try to watch the rest of that movie now before getting some more sleep. I am really curious to find out why it is your favorite movie.​

XD honestly I am not sure why it is my favorite movie either, it is kind of cheesy at times but i just love it.

And I am sorry and glad at the same time that you were able to grow so close to Christ after all of that pain in life :/ I understand the desire to help people too. I enjoy encouraging people especially and i think that comes from not getting much encouragement in my own life for the things that were important to me.

I do hope you don't burn yourself out though, as someone who loves giving it is easy to forget that we need to be able to receive too. (or feel bad about receiving, like when you said you felt bad about asking for prayer).

But however, i hope you enjoy the rest of the movie, thanks for being a brother and my new movie buddy XD And I will definitely ask for help when needed, I feel so much better being able to get some support, this is fellowship at it's finest supporting each other and centered around Christ is literally a dream that brings me tears every time I see it in action.

 

[ciicii]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have a dear friend who lost three babies before the Lord gave her two girls. They are grown with children of their own. She still remembers her little ones she lost in a special way, teaching her girls that they were in heaven.

I believe each person needs to have the time to cope with their feelings. That can be grief, that can be remembering with a special place. I have been searching AI and there are several sweet ways to remember the passing of a loved one.

When there is drama of course that makes the healing time take longer. I hope you have someone you can talk to that can help you clear your thoughts and feelings and move on. In the end God will wipe away all our tears. We don't mourn as those who have no hope. Let God be your main comfort, He loves us and knows just what we need. <3

Thank you for the kind words.
yeah with added trauma or drama it takes longer so i have put the mourning of that on hold, but I am glad your friends was able to have her children and remember the ones she lost in a way to share with her family too.
It is true we don't mourn as those who have no hope, but sometimes it still feels hopeless, i am trying to get out of that one day at a time though.
today was a good day though one that has given me more strength than i have had in honestly years <3

 

[passion84god]

And I am sorry and glad at the same time that you were able to grow so close to Christ after all of that pain in life

Even though I called out from work today, I still had to partake in our Friday morning Zoom call. Today's message of encouragement was about baby giraffes. When a baby giraffe is born, the first thing that it experiences is a fall to the ground from its mother's womb that ends with a hard thud. Generally, the fall is somewhere between 6 to 10 feet. What happens next is even more alarming to the newborn baby. Its own mother aligns itself above the baby, and then swiftly kicks it, sending it rolling across the ground. Then it kicks it again, and again, and again, until the baby finally says to itself, "I had better do something to stop getting kicked around like this." The baby struggles to get up on its legs, and guess what happens next? Its own mother comes and gives it another swift kick, causing it to tumble on the ground once again. At this point, the newborn baby not only realizes that it must get back up on its feet again, but it eventually learns to run from this type of danger, and that is what its loving mother was trying to teach it all along because it understands that its baby must learn how to survive in a hostile environment where predators like lions, cheetahs, and hyenas abound.

Is it possible that our loving Father does the same to us, in a figurative sense? Is it possible that he allows things into our lives that initially knock us completely off of our feet, simply because he is teaching us to stand, run, and fight?

 

[passion84god]

yeah with added trauma or drama it takes longer so i have put the mourning of that on hold, but I am glad your friends was able to have her children and remember the ones she lost in a way to share with her family too.

This is a difficult topic to address, and it must be handled with compassion and care. In relation to the lost child itself, King Solomon wrote:​

Ecclesiastes 6:3-5​

3 If a man fathers a hundred children and lives many years, so that the days of his years are many, but his soul is not satisfied with life's good things, and he also has no burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he.
4 For it comes in vanity and goes in darkness, and in darkness its name is covered.
5 Moreover, it has not seen the sun or known anything, yet it finds rest rather than he.

If it is of any comfort to you at all, according to King Solomon, whom God granted great wisdom, your stillborn child has found rest.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Thank you for the kind words.
yeah with added trauma or drama it takes longer so i have put the mourning of that on hold, but I am glad your friends was able to have her children and remember the ones she lost in a way to share with her family too.
It is true we don't mourn as those who have no hope, but sometimes it still feels hopeless, i am trying to get out of that one day at a time though.
today was a good day though one that has given me more strength than i have had in honestly years <3

I think sometimes when people give pat answers it comes across as uncaring or cliche. We know God gives hope to the hopeless. But sometimes you just need someone who is just there to listen and cry along with you.

I had a friend who was also my pastors wife. I was visiting my home church and this friend, our pastors wife, got up and sang a song. When she was done she headed for the restroom and I just sensed something was wrong. I waited and no one moved or seemed to notice. I knew I had to go to her and there were many older saints that could have gone, I wasn't even married at the time. I got up and met her in the restroom and she grabbed hold of me and sobbed. I put my arms round her and didn't say a word, just softly prayed to myself. I do not know how long we stood like that. I had moved away but she wrote me not long after that that her husband had been cheating on her. Neither of us knew it at that time. He left her and married the worship leader from the church they were pastoring. The Bible tells us to mourn with those who mourn. We need to be empathic to those around us, not just give cliche answers and feel we have done enough.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Even though I called out from work today, I still had to partake in our Friday morning Zoom call. Today's message of encouragement was about baby giraffes. When a baby giraffe is born, the first thing that it experiences is a fall to the ground from its mother's womb that ends with a hard thud. Generally, the fall is somewhere between 6 to 10 feet. What happens next is even more alarming to the newborn baby. Its own mother aligns itself above the baby, and then swiftly kicks it, sending it rolling across the ground. Then it kicks it again, and again, and again, until the baby finally says to itself, "I had better do something to stop getting kicked around like this." The baby struggles to get up on its legs, and guess what happens next? Its own mother comes and gives it another swift kick, causing it to tumble on the ground once again. At this point, the newborn baby not only realizes that it must get back up on its feet again, but it eventually learns to run from this type of danger, and that is what its loving mother was trying to teach it all along because it understands that its baby must learn how to survive in a hostile environment where predators like lions, cheetahs, and hyenas abound.

Is it possible that our loving Father does the same to us, in a figurative sense? Is it possible that he allows things into our lives that initially knock us completely off of our feet, simply because he is teaching us to stand, run, and fight?

Wow, that is quite amazing!! And here I was annoyed at my Mom for cutting my hair herself when I was in school. A hairdresser she was not and I have the pictures for proof! But that is amazing how God equips His creatures with instincts that keep them alive. And as you said, He may well do the same with us. In our pain we don't see it. It's often down the road before we see the lesson we might have missed if God hadn't taken us through the pain and not simply around it.

 

[passion84god]

Wow, that is quite amazing!! And here I was annoyed at my Mom for cutting my hair herself when I was in school. A hairdresser she was not and I have the pictures for proof! But that is amazing how God equips His creatures with instincts that keep them alive. And as you said, He may well do the same with us. In our pain we don't see it. It's often down the road before we see the lesson we might have missed if God hadn't taken us through the pain and not simply around it.

In a figurative sense, my life has been one kick after another. They started early, and they have never stopped. I have reached the point where they don't even faze me anymore. I simply look for any lesson that might be attached to them and pivot accordingly. The one thing that I can't seem to figure out is my job situation. The things that have been happening to me for the last few months are mathematically or statistically impossible. If I didn't know better, then I would swear that I am cursed. I know that there are spiritual forces at work. Whether it is God trying to get my attention, which he has fully, or whether it is Satan messing with me. I truly believe that it is the former, but I honestly don't know how to proceed. I just want to live my life according to God's will, but I don't know what that is at present. Any prayers for wisdom and direction would be greatly appreciated.​

 

[Lanolin]

@ciicii That's terrible
Did you have some place to bury your still born baby?
I just wondered if that helped, because there might be a place (garden) you can go to and grieve.

When one of my friends went missing (never found the body) I didn't have anyone to talk to about it, as nobody really knew about our friendship - it was more one on one. And her family were traumatised as well. My own family didn't really know how to console me. Years later I planted a tree in her memory. There is no other marker, but it's in my garden and I know.

So yea if there's no shoulder to cry on, or you can't talk about it and nobody will listen, you just need to cry to God and find solace in His creation. Some people go for walks/pilgrimages. Some do art. Some create gardens. Some write poems.

Not one sparrow falls without Him knowing, and we humans are just as precious to Him. Even if our life is cut short and never really had a chance.

 

[passion84god]

XD honestly I am not sure why it is my favorite movie either, it is kind of cheesy at times but i just love it.

But however, i hope you enjoy the rest of the movie,

I did finally finish watching the movie. I think that I know what you like about it, but I'd rather hear it from you. In a sense, it reminds me of "Citizen Kane." The main difference being that in "Dragonwyck" she made a choice and suffered for it. In "Citizen Kane," the choice was that of another. If you're into movies with a serious life meaning, and it seems that you are, then I think that you will like that movie.​