Should We Bring Back Diaries?!! (Oversharing On the Internet.)

[CarriePie]

LOL!!!

And now I'm tempted to write a thread entitled, "HELP!! AM I A MAN OR A WOMAN -- I HAVE ALL THESE CLUES BUT I'M STILL NOT SURE!"

This is because we had something going in the Keurig thread about people wondering if they were a man based on Keurig ownership, information technology, having a car "that goes", and cheese!!

Of course, the cheese seemed to be the most important part.

However, with all the Alphabet Mafia nonsense going on in the world, a thread title like that would be a magnet for trouble, so alas, I must refrain.

Doggone people who really CAN'T decide if they are man or a woman ruining all of our fun!!

I remember my high school bf came over to visit. We were sitting on the porch swing having a pleasant time just being together, when all the sudden he jumps up. "There's a snake!!" He exclaimed as he pointed in the yard at a snake slithering toward us. I calmly replied, "Oh, that's just the snake that lives under the house." He never came over again

I have tools. Yes, most of them were my dad's, but I do use them! I can do more repairs than the guys I know. All repairs that have been done around here in the last few years have been done by me. Also, I've been doing yard work since childhood. I was filling my spool of weedeater line one day and dad said, "Girl, you did that just like man!" lol

I drink my coffee black, I don't know how this makes me manly, but some people thinks it does lol. I've been drinking black coffee since my youth. I visited my mother one time and she served me a cup of coffee that I could see all the way down to the bottom. I told her that she might as well just warmed me up some water. She replied, "Well, get your bleep in the kitchen and show me how you make coffee." I did and she took a sip of my coffee, her brows scrunched together, and she said, "That'll put hair on your chest!" Nearly 3 decades later, I still haven't grown any hair on my chest.

A male friend of mine, after taking a drink of my coffee, got a stunned look on his face and said, "Tastes like ground truck tires!"

 

[Lanolin]

Do you throw like a girl though?

That's the real test.
If you can welcome to women's test cricket. Or netball.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I throw like a girl.

 

[Lanolin]

I spit like a girl - into a tissue

 

[Lanolin]

 

[Lanolin]

I thought I'd try to answer Seoulsearches myriad of questions this time. I mean TRY. Sometimes you post things and the OP is asking a lot of questions and hardly any of them actually get answered because *derails*
I just think this is a really interesting topic, because I kind of use CC as a journal in that I post nearly everyday. Or night.

Anyhoo

Do you ever find yourself watching, reading, or hearing something online and cringing over how much that person is sharing?
no not really as I don't really click on that kind of social media. I tend to stick with what I'm interested in, and not random personal stuff. I don't 'share' other peoples posts. I think if I go and read the prayer threads, which can be quite personal, but they wouldn't share if wasn't important prayer request.
In terms of quantity...maybe?
But then I'm probably the worst offender on that score.

Oh actually when thinking about it yes, when mums share about their children on vlogs and facebook. The children don't ask or consent to be online. They might have embarassing photos or all their flaws pointed out. I just think the poor child..even if its a proud mum gushing over something their kid did...but the mum's are posting because they want to boast about it to the other mums maybe. But it's very rare that I would be friends with the narcissist type mums or follow those kind of vlogs.

* What do you think are some basic guidelines for what can and cannot be shared?
Depends on what the website or platform it is. I just would not go on facebook or similar social media without being very careful with my own privacy settings. I can't stop others from sharing whatever they want but I know I CAN filter what I am exposed to. If I'm in a group, it would be the groups rules or guidelines. If I am a moderator of a group, I could set the guidelines, but I don't make the rules.

The only time I have much control over anything is if I'm the one who starts a thread and giving some guidelines of what people could post or choose to share but that's more about the discussion of topic itself.

* What kinds of things do you like to hear people share about -- and when does it become too much?
Can be anything or nothing. If I cannot add to the conversation I just don't post in it. If there's lots of threads on the same topic, I'm not going to answer all of them. If I'm not interested I just won't read or click on that thread. There will always always always be people on the Singles Forum saying they are looking for a godly spouse. At least once a week and maybe complaining they aren't finding anybody. I don't mind that there's obviously a need but I am not a matchmaker so I don't have much to say on those, plus everyone else is going to weigh in anyway and say the same thing. Maybe I just post in sympathy and commiseration, but I try to look on the bright side and remind others that being single isn't a life sentence and it can be FUN.

* What should people do if they feel a NEED to share, and praying alone isn't quenching it? (Should they just write in a journal, tell only closest friends, etc.?)
Join a group of similar minded people to support each other. It could be a prayer group/circle. Or an anonymous group. Or tell a trusted friend/confidant. Writing things down can be good because it can be hard to SAY things out loud and it may take a long time to get words out. Writing can help because you are getting our thoughts down, and you can always rip them up if they are on paper things you don't want to keep in your head.
If its serious and affecting your mental health try to find a good counsellor in a safe space. It might cost you though you can get funding if you apply. In the US you call these people therapists.
You can also call lifeline for free. Toll free 0800 numbers etc. Some can be really good in a crisis, and you can call them 24/7. If you are feeling suicidal, don't hesitate to call someone - and if you are worried about your health, make an appointment with your GP.

I'm thinking though that many people post online because of a need to share -- and a need for attention -- and this isn't met with prayer or a journal.

* Are there any healthy ways of meeting a need for attention through sharing?
You can share your emotions via poetry or song. Someone might have already written a song that expresses just how you are feeling. So sing along. Some people need to get moving, or dance. That's probably why Tik Tok is popular. Maybe do some art. Join a collective can help.

* Have YOU ever wanted to start your own social media account? (Blog, YouTube channel, etc.?) If so, or if you have already, what are your own "rules" for what you do and do not share?

I have two blogs but I don't really share them they are mostly for me. If someone happens to come across them its fine they can read them they are not totally private, but only a few people have ever commented on them so they don't have much of an audience! One's a garden diary and the other is just a creative writing blog. I just write stories and poetry. I don't have any of my own rules as such. I just try not to make the posts too long, and check the spelling etc. I don't post photos of other people on my blogs. Yes of my cats but not people. If I ever did (which I never have) , I'd ask them first if it was ok.

 

[seoulsearch]

I thought I'd try to answer Seoulsearches myriad of questions this time. I mean TRY. Sometimes you post things and the OP is asking a lot of questions and hardly any of them actually get answered because *derails*
I just think this is a really interesting topic, because I kind of use CC as a journal in that I post nearly everyday. Or night.

Anyhoo

Do you ever find yourself watching, reading, or hearing something online and cringing over how much that person is sharing?
no not really as I don't really click on that kind of social media. I tend to stick with what I'm interested in, and not random personal stuff. I don't 'share' other peoples posts. I think if I go and read the prayer threads, which can be quite personal, but they wouldn't share if wasn't important prayer request.
In terms of quantity...maybe?
But then I'm probably the worst offender on that score.

Oh actually when thinking about it yes, when mums share about their children on vlogs and facebook. The children don't ask or consent to be online. They might have embarassing photos or all their flaws pointed out. I just think the poor child..even if its a proud mum gushing over something their kid did...but the mum's are posting because they want to boast about it to the other mums maybe. But it's very rare that I would be friends with the narcissist type mums or follow those kind of vlogs.

* What do you think are some basic guidelines for what can and cannot be shared?
Depends on what the website or platform it is. I just would not go on facebook or similar social media without being very careful with my own privacy settings. I can't stop others from sharing whatever they want but I know I CAN filter what I am exposed to. If I'm in a group, it would be the groups rules or guidelines. If I am a moderator of a group, I could set the guidelines, but I don't make the rules.

The only time I have much control over anything is if I'm the one who starts a thread and giving some guidelines of what people could post or choose to share but that's more about the discussion of topic itself.

* What kinds of things do you like to hear people share about -- and when does it become too much?
Can be anything or nothing. If I cannot add to the conversation I just don't post in it. If there's lots of threads on the same topic, I'm not going to answer all of them. If I'm not interested I just won't read or click on that thread. There will always always always be people on the Singles Forum saying they are looking for a godly spouse. At least once a week and maybe complaining they aren't finding anybody. I don't mind that there's obviously a need but I am not a matchmaker so I don't have much to say on those, plus everyone else is going to weigh in anyway and say the same thing. Maybe I just post in sympathy and commiseration, but I try to look on the bright side and remind others that being single isn't a life sentence and it can be FUN.

* What should people do if they feel a NEED to share, and praying alone isn't quenching it? (Should they just write in a journal, tell only closest friends, etc.?)
Join a group of similar minded people to support each other. It could be a prayer group/circle. Or an anonymous group. Or tell a trusted friend/confidant. Writing things down can be good because it can be hard to SAY things out loud and it may take a long time to get words out. Writing can help because you are getting our thoughts down, and you can always rip them up if they are on paper things you don't want to keep in your head.
If its serious and affecting your mental health try to find a good counsellor in a safe space. It might cost you though you can get funding if you apply. In the US you call these people therapists.
You can also call lifeline for free. Toll free 0800 numbers etc. Some can be really good in a crisis, and you can call them 24/7. If you are feeling suicidal, don't hesitate to call someone - and if you are worried about your health, make an appointment with your GP.

I'm thinking though that many people post online because of a need to share -- and a need for attention -- and this isn't met with prayer or a journal.

* Are there any healthy ways of meeting a need for attention through sharing?
You can share your emotions via poetry or song. Someone might have already written a song that expresses just how you are feeling. So sing along. Some people need to get moving, or dance. That's probably why Tik Tok is popular. Maybe do some art. Join a collective can help.

* Have YOU ever wanted to start your own social media account? (Blog, YouTube channel, etc.?) If so, or if you have already, what are your own "rules" for what you do and do not share?

I have two blogs but I don't really share them they are mostly for me. If someone happens to come across them its fine they can read them they are not totally private, but only a few people have ever commented on them so they don't have much of an audience! One's a garden diary and the other is just a creative writing blog. I just write stories and poetry. I don't have any of my own rules as such. I just try not to make the posts too long, and check the spelling etc. I don't post photos of other people on my blogs. Yes of my cats but not people. If I ever did (which I never have) , I'd ask them first if it was ok.

I do appreciate your very detailed answers, Lanolin.

Thank you for that.

I hope people realize that my questions are really just to get people's thoughts cranking about the topic, and from multiple angles.

I never mean for the questions to be overwhelming, but I understand how they can be. Maybe I'll try to ask only one or two in future threads. I don't intend for people to feel they have to answer all of them, but will hopefully share things they believe are important.

But I know you usually go the extra mile(s), @Lanolin, and I just wanted to thank you again for that.

I liked your suggestion about expression through song and poetry. I'm not gifted in these areas, but it's a very helpful outlet for many, and I'm glad you brought it up.

Your gardening journal also sounds very helpful, especially for novices like me!

 

[Lanolin]

It's ok
I just like to be thorough!

My garden diary/journal is not really statistical though. I just write I planted this or that, moved or transplanted this or that, the flowers are out and oh no the slugs have been eating my plants...again!
It's more a case of, writing things down so I don't forget. Or to remind myself to do some jobs.
A lot of it is trial and error.

 

[Cdara62]

Hey Everyone,

I recently listened to a video entitled, "Bring Back Diaries!"

In it, the host presented several clips of people COMPLETELY OVERSHARING on social media. Some of the "stories" were so vile -- often dealing with bathroom/hygiene issues -- that I couldn't finish them, and had to skip through most of them just to listen to the host's commentary.

In it, she makes the case that if people want to share extremely personal information, they should go back to things like writing in a private diary (journaling,) instead of sharing it all over the internet.

But there is also the issue that many people are saying or making up shocking things to drive up views, with the hopes of monetary gain.

Now, I'm sure there have been many times I've shared too much in my posts, but I'm sure not going to start talking about the details of a trip to the bathroom while on a break between posts!

I do find it an interesting balance though, because I like hearing people's personal stories. I wouldn't quite be myself if I wasn't exposed to tales of real people sharing their very real lives. And I appreciate it when people share things such as their journey through cancer (it helps me learn how to try to help others with serious illnesses,) and a myriad of other life situations.

I also love hearing passionate people talk about their charity and missionary work, particularly the hardships and challenges they face (because I hate presentations that are all highlight reels.)

I know most Christians will quote the passage about not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing (Matthew 6:3,4) so some say people should NEVER talk about their good deeds, but I've always seen this passage as a matter of motivation.

In the context around this passage, Jesus said that those who are seeking human approval are getting their reward (but not a heavenly one.)

So I've always thought that if someone doesn't have approval as a motive for sharing, but rather, education and bringing awareness, I am more than happy to listen. I find it to be great motivation for myself, along with informing me of new opportunities I might have otherwise never thought about.

But if it crosses the lines into preaching (talking down to the audience,) self-pity, or begging, I'm tuning out.

What are your thoughts about how much one should, or shouldn't share online (and maybe in general?)

Anyone of any status is welcome to answer, but I posted this here because I thought maybe more singles are exposed to oversharing (lonely people pouring their hearts out to us.) However, I could be completely wrong.

Whether you are married or single, I am interested in your thoughts about this topic!

* Do you ever find yourself watching, reading, or hearing something online and cringing over how much that person is sharing?

* What do you think are some basic guidelines for what can and cannot be shared?

* What kinds of things do you like to hear people share about -- and when does it become too much?

* What should people do if they feel a NEED to share, and praying alone isn't quenching it? (Should they just write in a journal, tell only closest friends, etc.?)

I'm thinking though that many people post online because of a need to share -- and a need for attention -- and this isn't met with prayer or a journal.

* Are there any healthy ways of meeting a need for attention through sharing?

* Have YOU ever wanted to start your own social media account? (Blog, YouTube channel, etc.?) If so, or if you have already, what are your own "rules" for what you do and do not share?

As one who goes back to the day’s pre Windows using DOS programs…long before access to the internet and the days of dial up and the *ding* and “You’ve got mail”; so there are numerous blogs, domain’s, and pages - words out ‘there’ forever. But when I finally figured out that faith is actively trusting God in ALL things, my mission in anything I post now is to EMPHASIZE THE FATHER’S WORK. Once I was “done” STRUGGLING…out loud and direct to the Father I asked Him to remove all the toxic people, places, and things…that includes family, friends, job, home…WHATEVER had me bound in the world’s idea’s of ‘achievements’, ‘needs’, and ‘obligations’ that were creating a ever greater distance between me and Him due to the guilt and shame associated with all the ‘missteps’ and flat out disobedient defiant acts that was the same as spitting in His face as He held out His gift of provision SPECIFIC TO MY NEEDS. And GLORY - the blessings in abundance - THE testimony of His active hand in my life. THIS IS the focus of my ‘posts’/commentaries. NOT ANYTHING I DO/DID, for I am merely the ‘hands’/tool by which HIS PLAN is ENGAGED - set in motion. The Commission that Yeshua our Messiah gave to the apostles to teach all who desire to follow in His shadow is ALL ABOUT THE TESTIMONY of WHAT HE DID through our obedience to His conviction/direction. And I can testify that there are many more times the Holy Spirit will let you know to keep your ‘thoughts’ to yourself (and what He is doing at the moment…He’s all about timing)…and when we as representatives of the Father are on social media posting from the position of wounded emotions, self elevation of one’s opinions, or just having a tizzy, vomiting putrid negativity - that is in NO WAY representative of His character outlined in Gal. 5 and become’s a witness of faith in the ‘lesser gods’ offered as part OF THE WORLD in which struggle and corruption is born. People have over shared so much since the 90’s online that many have become desensitized to “taking interest” in ANYTHING other’s have to say…deferring to the black mirror/screen on their phones shutting out ANY OPPORTUNITY of human connection. As believer’s we must listen twice as much as we speak…and daily invite Holy Spirit to ‘shut your mouth’ from saying anything that would misrepresent the Father in any way. The closer I have walked with the Father in the unburdened life He has blessed me with (after the shock of His surgical removal of decades of trauma that finally began with my COMPLETE SUBMISSION TO HIS PLAN 7 years ago - no more chasing man’s ideals of the American Dream and patriotism over a posture of daily repentant submissive humble obedience to Abba), I find I talk much less but what I do say is always focused on the amazing goodness of His hand in my life every day. THAT is always WORTH POSTING…no matter what anyone else thinks or says.

 

[Lovette]

Food diary and any to-do list are good ideas, for the purposes of keeping track with your diet and activities. Other stuffs, like trivial events, venting your own feeling, talking behind other people's backs, that better be skipped.

 

[Lanolin]

I can not read that giant wall of text so will respectfully passover.

However I will say it is helpful to keep a personal diary even if only for appointments. You do not need to write in complete sentences in a diary.

 

[CarriePie]

I throw like a girl.

This reminds me of a time when I was a young girl. My dad had great aim with guns, throwing, etc. One year he took me to the school fall festive. Usually, my mother took me, but she had to work this evening. She knew games I would like to participate in, but dad took me to the games he was interested in. We were at one of those games where you have to throw darts at balloons. I missed every single time. Dad crouched down to look me in the eye and said, "Girl, I can't believe you are my daughter!"
I still avoid dart throwing to this day lol.

 

[Lanolin]

Dear Diary

Today I went to a funeral, it was sad. It was my across the road neighbour, who's lived there ever since I can remember. You know who she is. Anyway her daughter and family said they were going to do a loop of our street with her hearse before heading toward church, and all the neighbours could wave as she went past to say goodbye.

We got to the church, we were asked to wear purple, so I wore my purple puffy jacket and purple stockings with my black dress and new black shoes (thanks Shoe Warehouse!) and got some purple ribbons for my family to wear and also a purple scarf for my sister.

It was a beautiful service but am happy that L----- and her husband D--- are now together, that she stayed faithful to the end. She was the kindest Christian mum I ever knew. She was so funny and always when I popped round to see her would be smiling and laughing, she always had baking, or was knitting something. When it was feijoa season I don't know how many baskets of feijoas I took over for her to make us feijoa muffins. They were the best! She also put chocolate chips to them.

I dont' know if she ever tried to make mum's custard tarts Lord knows I could never replicate them. But she asked for the recipe after mum died (or she'd take them to her grave!) . On the service sheet was a recipe for marshmallow lolly cake. I will have to try and bake it sometime. I said to her granddaughter that she'll be the one doing the baking now.

At the funeral caught up with the old neighbours who moved from the house next door to their's who had Mcat before she came over to make herself at home with us. Am so bad at names but she remembered me.

Have had to say goodbye to too many in our street the past year. I learned that L------ had 4 births, all daughters, but the first one lived only 2 days and the third one was a still birth or as she put it 'born asleep' and the youngest had to be a C section. Never knew!
She also knitted baby clothes for everyone and am sure she knitted some for me, wonder if mum kept them somewhere.

Anyway. Maybe I am over-sharing but I have to write things down otherwise I'll forget. Good memories. haha she certainly lived up to her name! I found a little fridge magnet of flowers to put on her fridge, as a thank you to their mum/nana for all the baking she shared with us over the years. And their old grandfather clock, that's been there forever was a hiding place for christmas presents and snacks. They always always gave us a christmas gift every year and card they sent through the post even though they could have crossed the road and put in our letterbox themselves. I mean D--- was literally our Santa Claus. And she was Mrs Claus.

R.I.P

 

[Lanolin]

Oh also one relative or was it her daughters best friend read the scripture from her old falling apart Bible it was Psalm 23.
Her Bible was the yellow one with the rainbow on it, might be the Good News one? Or NLT.

 

[Lanolin]

It was this one

 

[Sculpt]

* Do you ever find yourself watching, reading, or hearing something online and cringing over how much that person is sharing?

* What do you think are some basic guidelines for what can and cannot be shared?

* What kinds of things do you like to hear people share about -- and when does it become too much?

* What should people do if they feel a NEED to share, and praying alone isn't quenching it? (Should they just write in a journal, tell only closest friends, etc.?)

I'm thinking though that many people post online because of a need to share -- and a need for attention -- and this isn't met with prayer or a journal.

* Are there any healthy ways of meeting a need for attention through sharing?

* Have YOU ever wanted to start your own social media account? (Blog, YouTube channel, etc.?) If so, or if you have already, what are your own "rules" for what you do and do not share?

I think Lynx should share a lot less. Try to be more like our sister Lanolin.

I think you covered the subject really well in your OP. So well, I don't think I could add anything new.

As one who had journaled a lot in the 19-24 area, I can say there a ton of benefits.
- Gets you to contemplate things our busy, distraction filled world doesn't afford.
- Improve your writing, thinking skills
- Gets to make decisions and do things because the important issues stay in front of you.
- Gives that self-sounding board, self-debate.
- Assists in God communication and contemplating scripture.
- Certainly can be your prayer list and grateful list.
- You can see where you're making progress or falling behind.

Of course I'm endorsing private journaling. Sharing personal stuff online is fraught with dangers of identity theft, cancel culture, people misunderstanding you and misjudging you, hurting peoples feelings and leading others astray.

Of course, as you said, we often get so many benefits from hearing about other's personal struggles. There's a wise balance and safeguards to follow. And as they SO wisely say, you can type it up (or even video tape it) but don't hit send! Wait a day. Reread it the next day... then edit, don't post or post.

I both don't want, and sometimes want, to share things online. I wonder about my motivations. Sometimes I wish I hadn't. But hope God was able to use everything for good.

 

[SoulFaith]

I think there needs to be a healthy balance.
I appreciate people who share their real struggles because it reminds us that we're not alone. Stories about illness, grief, faith, answered prayers or lessons learned can encourage others and point them to hope.

At the same time, I don't think every detail of our private lives belongs on the internet. Some things are better shared with close friends, family, a pastor or in a journal. Not everything needs an audience.

I also think our motivation matters. Am I sharing to encourage, help or glorify God? Or am I simply looking for attention or validation? I try to ask myself that before I post.

I've shared some very personal parts of my own life online and I've been blessed to see God use those stories to encourage other people. At the same time, I've learned the importance of healthy boundaries. You can be honest without sharing every detail.

I've also learned that once something is posted online, you no longer have complete control over where it ends up. That's another reason I try to think carefully before sharing.

So yes, I believe authenticity is important, but so are wisdom and discretion.

 

[Lynx]

I think Lynx should share a lot less. Try to be more like our sister Lanolin.

Oh you have NO IDEA what I've been holding back...

 

[SoulFaith]

Oh you have NO IDEA what I've been holding back...

Hmmmm... now you've got me intrigued. I do like a little mystery.

 

[Lynx]

Hmmmm... now you've got me intrigued. I do like a little mystery.

My whole family is pretty witty, most of them more so than i.

They always use this power for good, never for evil. The older I get the more I realize this is mostly done by not saying everything that comes to mind. Every time my brain turns up something and I shut it down before it slips out of my mouth, I gain new appreciation for what my family does not say, just all the time.