Contentment in singlehood
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I thought your preferred solution was that every Christian should remain single. Isn't that an example of a "one size fits all solution or instruction for everyone"?
And I never said anything about the existence of a "Christian partner who'd drop from the sky just for you."
You also mention "coerced, manipulated, extorted marriages." You think these are the possible kinds of marriage out there? Yikes. I mean, I know you said earlier that you don't really have any example of healthy, loving marriages, or can't really tell if they truly exist or not. But still. That's pretty pessimistic.
I have no problem with you choosing singleness for yourself. But I do find your negative views of marriage a bit, shall we say, novel.
That's what Paul preferred, and it's also everyone's DEFAULT status. It's NOT fine to desire the abstract concept marriage when you have nobody willing to marry you, it's NOT fine when the two of you are not equally yoked in Christ, it's NOT fine when you and your partner recklessly enter into marriage without knowing what it entails, and it's NOT fine to deceive yourself by pretending it's all fine.
And btw, "pretty pessimistic" in reality is better than "healthy, loving marriage" in your vain imagination, because we fine meanings of life in suffering and "pettiness."
Yeah, Paul preferred it personally. Good for him. He still didn't require it.
"It's NOT fine to desire the abstract concept marriage when you have nobody willing to marry you." Right. Where in the Bible does it say that, exactly? Where in the Bible is the desire for marriage called bad or harmful or sinful? I've only heard this idea from you.
It's also my "default status" to be unemployed. Guess I should never look for a job, then.
As I understand it, you believe the existence of the very possibility of a "healthy, loving marriage" is a myth. Well, I don't, because I know plenty of family members and friends who do have these.
Does the bible forbid idolatry? Desiring marriage without a real partner willing to marry you is idolatry, what other familiers and friend have is their own, you shall not covet. If there is such a partner, though, as I pointed out before, let's discuss her merit, what she may bring to the table, instead of the abstract concept marriage.
I asked you for a Bible verse that specifically refers to the single person's desire for marriage as idolatry. You did not provide such a verse. Gee, why is that? Weird.
"Desiring marriage without a real partner willing to marry you is idolatry." It's sinful to have the general desire to be married? Is this specific idea taught in the Bible anywhere? I've only heard this idea from you. Can you give me verse that backs that idea up?
Can you show me one Bible verse that specifically refers to the single person's desire for marriage as idolatry? Or is this an idea that you came up with? I mean, maybe there is some merit to that idea. Maybe the Old Testament mentions that idea when it describes the moral laws. Maybe Jesus mentioned it when he teaches about marriage and celibacy. Maybe Paul mentions it when he teaches about marriage and celibacy. Or no?
Tell me, if I have the general desire to be married one day, what exactly is the specific, tangible thing or person that I'm sinfully "coveting" that already rightfully belongs to another person, and only that one person?
I asked you with whom do you marry - a fellow Christian; OK, where is this person? Suppose they exist, why should they marry you? Do you pursue such person to simply satisfy your own "desire for marriage" on your own accord, without God joining you to that person? Answer these questions please. If you can't, then marriage is an abstract idol with no bearing in reality to substantiate it. If I desire a job post or a new bag, at least they're real things, but the object of your desire is purely imaginary.
Show me this willing partner for marriage please. If such specific partner doesn't exist, then your "general desire" is idolatry, you've made marriage an idol through such desire, not to serve God, but your own flesh; if they do exist but they're not willing, then it's absolutely sinful, see the Dinah incident, Gen. 34:1-4.
What I can tell you is that, the bible I read taught, "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all will be added unto you." Therefore desire God's kingdom and his righteousness above all else. Desire for lesser things like marriage before God, you'll get neither.
Just because someone desires marriage does not automatically that they're putting this desire "before God." And how would you even know that, anyway? Are you a mind reader? This stuff is just patronizing. "Remember single folks.....your Number One Priority is JESUS!" Oh, really? Wow. I didn't know that, thanks. Hahaha! Also, apparently, if you desire both godly things, and marriage, you'll get neither. Oh, really? Why are there so many Christians who are married, then? Explain that one to me.
I know most of the people who say this mean well, but that's just condescending. if you're 25 or older and you want to get married, it's a good idea to put some effort into it. It's not going to "just happen." What if I'm currently unemployed and looking for work, and taking action to make that happen? What if I'm trying to lose weight? Am I guilty of putting these issues "before God"? Am I guilty of not "seeking first the kingdom of God"?
Just because someone wants marriage and is taking action to pursue it does not make them guilty of not seeking God. What's your advice, exactly? Do nothing and wait for God to "poof" you a spouse one day? Or is your advice to not bother with it altogether? I think I know the answer.
Again, I asked you for a Bible verse that specifically refers to the single person's desire for marriage as sin or idolatry. Apparently, you cannot provide me with such a verse. You avoided this question entirely. Why is that?
Where in the Bible are we told that God joins you to a specific partner? Nowhere. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, Paul addresses widows, and he says if you're a widow and you want to remarry, you're allowed to remarry, and you can marry whoever you want, as long as they're a Christian. That's weird. Why is Paul encouraging encouraging Corinthian widows to commit idolatry? That seems to fit your particular definition of "idolatry" perfectly.
You seem to believe that God is a Puppetmaster who runs every aspect of your love life. The Bible, however, doesn't say anything about that. The Bible doesn't teach us anything God-ordained "soulmates" that God specifically intends just for you. Jesus even said there is no marriage in Heaven. The idea of a "soulmate" comes from Greek philosophy and mythology.
What all does Paul say on this subject? In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.
Where, in any of these passages, does Paul refer to the desire for marriage as sin or idolatry? Where does he refer to the desire for a future marriage partner as sin or idolatry? Paul devoted a whole "chapter," if you will, to the issue of singleness and marriage. Jesus included the topic in one of his sermons. Neither of them ever referred to the general desire for marriage as idolatrous. Weird! Did they miss something? LOL.
Also, apparently now, a Christian who dates is the equivalent of Shechem taking Dinah by force. WHAT?! Man, this is getting weirder and weirder. Have you ever considered maybe not viewing issues like marriage with such extremes? Or have you ever considered the difference between dating and marriage on one hand, and rape on the other? No? I mean, you've taken this discussion in some bizarre and extreme directions already, but this one might just top the list. Yikes. I wonder what your next example will be.
The next example is you yourself. For all my spiritual journey with the Lord, every sermon I've listened to, I was always taught to be eschatalogically minded, this world is just a temporary home, we're all passing by; our eternal union is with Lord Christ, not with any earthly partner, for there's no marriage or sexual relations in resurrection, Matt. 22:33, Lk. 20:35, that's the core message in 1 Cor. 7, that the time is short, life is fleeting, therefore think about the godly things, not worldly things. You're the first one and only one relentlessly making excuses for such vain worldly pleasures and mocking genuine devotion. That's what's really bizarre.
So why does 1 Corinthians 7 permit marriage? Why didn't Paul just ban it altogether if it's so bad and pointless? And why is marriage a "vain, worldly pleasure" when God was the one who created it when the world was perfect?
Because the world was no longer perfect, as soon as the fall of man, marriage was cursed with domestic strife, Gen. 3:16, you just pretend it still is. At the time of Paul, it was a distraction, 1 Cor. 7:32-35. You wanna marry, go ahead, the trouble of flesh is on you, Paul warned it beforehand.
And btw, since you yourself mocked at the idea of God "poofs" a spouse for you, why are you still argue for such a spouse "poofed' out of thin air? Why are you still argue for the desire for such a spouse "poofed' out of thin air? Where is she? Show me. Even just proof of her existence. As long as you can't, it's idolatry.
No, I never said marriage was perfect today. Nor did I argue that there was such a thing as a "soulmate" that God "poofs" out of thin air for you. I said it was OK to desire a spouse. That it was OK to desire to be married. And, again, the Bible nowhere calls marriage or the desire for marriage "idolatry."
"At the time of Paul, it was a distraction, 1 Cor. 7:32-35."
Paul basically says in that passage that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single.
This is a common interpretation, but I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.
In English, of course, "distracting" has a negative connotation, so we often bring that into play when reaching this passage. But it seems more like Paul might have merely been making the elementary observation that marriage, or the search for marriage, can place more demands on your time and attention than the life of someone who is genuinely content with being single (like Paul was) But, of course, Paul also said that not everyone is like him, a single man content with being single.
As soon as I tire of the entertainment value. Not the most noble of motives, I admit.
Or perhaps, subconsciously, I have a tiny sliver of hope left for Lovette, for some strange reason.
Perhaps my heart has a tiny sliver of hope, but my mind knows it's all futile.
Because king Henry VIII dissolved the monasteries and nunneries, and confiscated their properties.
Mock for fun as you like, twist the word of God as you like, but singleness shouldn't be taken as an indentity in the first place, for it's the absence of something, not the presence or possession of something.
But even if it is taken as an identity, the choice is not about whether to marry or what is superior, but how you react to your circumstance. You can curse God for it, you can use God as a Cupid, or you can worship God, even in your toughest, saddest days. It's a test of faith.
I believe they were caught in the crossfire between Henry VIII's fight with Vatican; PAUL believed singles remain single, married remain married, 1 Cor. 7:27.