When he can produce solid proof of such a godly Christian soul mate poofed out of thin air. The bible did, as God produced Eve for Adam and Rebecca for Abraham's servant, and maybe Boaz for Ruth.
Contentment in singlehood
- Thread starter Edith
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Why does it bother you so much that some Christians desire marriage, pursue marriage, and get married? You're personally content with being single, right? OK. Great! Other people choosing to marry doesn't affect you in any negative way, does it?
That is not the only thing Paul says on this issue. What else does he say? In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.
What are you talking about? I never said such a thing existed.
Um, if someone's not married, then they're single. And there's lots of different kinds of singles. Someone acknowledging that they're single doesn't mean they're making their "identity" out of it.
You could also take action to date someone and, if it leads to something solid, get engaged and marry. Don't worry, I'm not saying you have to do that, Lovette! Hahaha. You can also choose to stay single if you prefer. Nothing wrong with that.
That is not the only thing Paul says on this issue. What else does he say? In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.
What are you talking about? I never said such a thing existed.
Um, if someone's not married, then they're single. And there's lots of different kinds of singles. Someone acknowledging that they're single doesn't mean they're making their "identity" out of it.
You could also take action to date someone and, if it leads to something solid, get engaged and marry. Don't worry, I'm not saying you have to do that, Lovette! Hahaha. You can also choose to stay single if you prefer. Nothing wrong with that.
It doesn't bother or affect me at all. I feel happy for them as an innocent observer. The question is why my posts bother you.
Your posts don't bother me. They do puzzle me, admittedly.
Also, why do you feel "happy" for married couples? Because marriage can be a good thing and a blessing? If so, I agree!
Like king David peeping at Bathsheba bathing? Solomon importing all these exotic wives? Esau chasing Hittite women, grieving his parents? Jacob getting tricked by his uncle? Or me "taking action" on dating apps, designed to scam you and keep you hooked? Pfft.
Then marry whom? You said "fellow Christian", so please produce proof.
Discern godly things not worldly things, for time is short.
Not as puzzling as this desire for the abstract concept of marriage with a purely hypothetical partner.
No, Lovette, I'm not suggesting that you (or any Christian who desires marriage) peep at your army commander's wife, marry foreign princesses, acquire a harem of concubines, marry unbelieving wives against your parent's wishes, or end up in a love triangle because of the actions of your exploitative and deceptive uncle. Don't worry. Hahaha!
I know lots of married Christians. As far as I know, none of them ever got married with any of those methods. Hahaha!
And no, I'm not suggesting you use a dating app, either. You, personally, don't want to get married. That's fine. I have no problem with that. I'm not trying to convince you, personally, to marry if you don't want to.
Proof of what? That there's Christians of the opposite sex out that that you might be able to marry? As crazy as it sounds, there probably are! Hahaha!
Again, as Paul says, this is advice, not a command. It's OK to get married. The chapter you derive this message from includes that message, too.
At this point, I have no doubt that you find dating and marriage puzzling, even abstract. That's fine. Nobody is forcing you to date or marry. No one here even recommended that you do so, as far as I know. However, just because you, personally, have no desire for marriage, doesn't mean that everyone should also be that way, or that the people who do desire these things are somehow inferior or guilty of some kind of sin or of "misplaced priorities." The Bible allows us to pursue marriage. It does not forbid it.
What matters is not whether marriage is permitted or forbidden. It never was. All things are lawful, but not all things are beneficial, therefore ask whether it's beneficial to you and your partner first. If the only benefit is satisfaction of your own "desire for marriage", with no respect for your partner, your family, other persons of interest and God, then better not marry, for the sake of your partner's wellbeing.
And frankly, neither dating nor marriage is puzzling. What's really puzzling is that, for normal people, when they're single they desire a companion first, upon companionship, desire fellowship; upon fellowship, partnership; upon fellowship, engagement; upon engagement, marriage. Desire a spouse when you don't even have an emergency contact is NOT fine, despite your ten plus pages of rubbish relentlessly claiming it's fine. It's not "misplaced priorities" or something, it's just illogical and delusional.
Sounds like the US government in action. They will leave the Moslem temples of worship alone however.
Marriage was never forbidden? Great! I agree. Was marriage permitted? Yes.
I guess the apostle Paul was writing "rubbish" when he wrote positive things about marriage, then. And maybe Solomon was writing rubbish in Proverbs 18 when he said that finding a wife was a good thing. Whoopsie!
And I never said that, for people who desire marriage, the "only benefit is satisfaction of your own 'desire for marriage,' with no respect for your partner, your family, other persons of interest and God." Is that how you view every Christian who expresses the desire for marriage? How would you know that? Are you a mind reader? Isn't that called "rushing to judgment"? Didn't you say in an earlier post somewhere that you don't even personally know that many married people?
Marriage is permitted, actually. See 1 Corinthians 7. And 1 Timothy 4:1-5. And you're right, marriage was never forbidden, if that's what you mean to say here.
The desire for marriage does play a role in the decision to get married. Remember, Paul talks about people who "burn with passion" and his advice to those people is to get married. He even says it's "better" for those people to marry. And in Matthew 19 Jesus said that not everyone can accept celibacy.
I'm talking about the general desire of lots of single folks to be married in the future. It's fine to have that desire. You don't have to desire a marriage to a specific person in order to experience the desire to one day enjoy a loving and healthy marriage. It's even fine to want to experience sex one day. You can have the desire for sex while still choosing to not engage in premarital sex or sinful forms of sexual activity. Gee, imagine that.
Oh, yeah, I forgot, you don't think such a thing as a "loving and healthy marriage" is possible in the real world. My bad, sorry.
I personally know that marriage requires a real partner in flesh and blood, willing to spend the rest of their life with you. Show me this person please. I view you expressing your rubbish.
Tell that to Samson or king Ahab. Or those biblical examples I listed. "A wife" in Prob 18 doesn't equal a godly wife in Prob. 31, but I guess you're too snarky to know the difference.
Remember your spouse is not a sponge for your burning passion or your selfish desire for nothing but the status of marriage.
I'm talking about the general desire from a sane, rational person, instead of an ideologue. You don't have a future when you don't even know what tomorrow brings, and you don't have a marriage when you don't even have an emergency contact. But wait, I forgot that logic and rationale are beyond your comprehension.
If there's nobody to marry, then it's practically forbiden. Save your desire to yourself and leave me alone, merci.
I am leaving you alone. Well, sort of, haha! I never said you had to get married. If you personally want to stay single, that's fine.
Why is it "rubbish" to desire marriage one day? Where does the Bible forbid you from desiring to be married one day?
So the only relevant examples of marriages in the Bible are the bad examples. The good ones don't matter. And, therefore, getting married is inadvisable. Right. Good news, Lovette: You don't have to get married if you don't want to. You can stay single if you so prefer. Nothing wrong with that.
Did I say that's what's your spouse is? No. Did I say that I wanted marriage for the sake of "nothing but the status of marriage"? No.
Apparently, if you have normal, human desires for romance, marriage, and sex, well, you're now guilty of being an "ideologue." Right, OK.
And, therefore, it's somehow "evil" for me to make plans for the future, to desire certain things for my future, or to have the general desire for marriage. At this point, I have no doubt that you genuinely believe this. Can you show me where in the Bible we're advised against planning for the future or against having dreams for the future?
(I do have emergency contacts, though. Whew! Glad that first step is out of the way! Hahaha!)
The sour grapes are strong with this one. Darth Logicus you shall never prevail.As soon as I tire of the entertainment value. Not the most noble of motives, I admit.
Or perhaps, subconsciously, I have a tiny sliver of hope left for Lovette, for some strange reason.Perhaps my heart has a tiny sliver of hope, but my mind knows it's all futile.
You're almost certainly right, haha! And, admittedly, I keep wondering in what new directions Lovette's thinking will go.
"There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand." (Prov. 19:21)
The preparations of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. (Prov. 16:1)
A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. (Prov. 16:9)
"The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together... He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; the Lord shall hold them in derision." (Ps. 2:2-4)
If you're interested in marriage and the desire thereof "in general", then let's discuss why anyone should get married, what it's for in the first place, why should you give up everything you have, even risk your life and recklessly jump into it, when you don't even have an acquaintance whom you're personally familiar with. I suggested the possibilities - feeding your lust per 1 Cor. 7:2; or peer pressure, and you have denied both and mocked me for "mind reading". Alright, then tell me what marriage is for then. Don't bring up any Christian theology on this one, like a "reflection of Christ's union with his church", even though that's true, because as a matter of fact, marriage is for all mankind. God ordained three essential human institutions - marriage, government and church; church is for his called out people only, government is for civilized, disciplined peoples only, marriage is for all, including cannaballistic and indeginous tribes; and, as another matter of fact, it has been widely reported that supposedly brainwashed college educated, atheistic couples in urban and suburban areas have far stabler marriage and lower divorce rate; heathens, especially Asian couples, also have stabler marriage and lower divorce rate, compared to the "bible belt" in poorer, rural areas who're supposed to be more godly and more faithful, I wonder why? Don't take my word for it, go verify this by yourself.
Apparently, it is "right" and "OK" to use another human being for the satisfaction of your own fleshly desire for "romance, marriage, and sex"? I don't know about you, man, the Lord I know taught me to love my neighbor as myself, not to use my neighbor for myself; I'm taught to comform to His image, not Harvey Weinstein's image.
So, uh, never make any plans for the future? Never take any action whatsoever? Sit back, relax, be passive, and wait for God to do everything for you? Sure, go ahead. See how that works out. Might come in real handy when you're unemployed and looking for work, haha. Or trying to lose weight. It's not a sign of "weak faith" to take action. Isn't it in acting that your faith is proven?
Getting married requires giving up "everything" you have? What do you mean by "everything"? And no, I'm not suggesting "recklessly" jumping into marriage. You also questioned why someone should get married when they "don't even have an acquaintance whom you're personally familiar with." Well, if you're wondering, I am not suggesting that you marry a random stranger you just met. Hahaha! I agree. That's a bad idea. LOL!
You also mention "feeding your lust" and quote 1 Corinthians 7:2. Simply having strong sexual desires is not necessarily "lust." If that was true, this would mean that Paul in this chapter is encouraging Christians to indulge their lusts. Does that sound like something Paul would teach?
What's marriage for? Well, one reason is pretty simple. In the Garden of Eden, Adam was lonely and needed a helper (Gen. 2:18) So God gave him one. Those are some basic purposes for marriage—fellowship, companionship, and mutual help and comfort. Of course, we're not in Paradise anymore, so nobody is guaranteed to acquire those things on Earth. Another reason is to produce godly offspring (Malachi 2:13-15) Marriage can sanctify (Ephesians 5) And, as 1 Corinthians 7:2, marriage can protect you from sexual immorality and give you a healthy outlet for experiencing sex. And marriage also provides a picture of the relationship between Jesus (the "bridegroom") and the church (the "bride")
Of course, none of these things means that you have to get married if you don't want to. You can choose to stay single if you want. Nothing wrong with that.
I never said anything about "using another person." Paul talked about this very subject, actually. See 1 Corinthians 7:2-5.
And now you're saying a married man having consensual sex with his wife is doing the same thing Harvey Weinstein did? Huh?!