What does it mean if one of the main reason I want to get married is for sex?
- Thread starter dothackzero
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I've "dated" several guys and have never experienced any of those things with them to the extent that I experienced them in my marriage.
(CC server wouldn't let me fix it)
Alright, well I've been involved in 2 serious relationships and with both of them I've had most of what you listed.
With the first, I was still pretty young, after 5 years of dating I don't think I knew myself well enough to know if she knew me better than anyone else or not. Otherwise I'd say that I had all of those things in my first relationship.
With the second, I was much more mature and can say that after a couple of years I really did have everything you listed.
As for living with someone... Other than a persons own reservations, I don't really see any reason that you can't spend all of your free time with someone outside of marriage. Certainly spending the night in bed together isn't a valid option, but I don't think that's what you were referring to in the first place.
As for the OPs question... I'd say the only real difference between a serious relationship and a marriage is the vow. Assuming both parties take their vow seriously, you end up with someone that you know will be there through thick and thin. That vow makes a lot of things that Juli mentioned a lot easier. However marriage certainly doesn't guarantee those things. Likewise, I've seen that the trust required to achieve those can be achieved outside of marriage. Which leaves the only guaranteed difference still only being sex.
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Jullianna
Guest
Alright, well I've been involved in 2 serious relationships and with both of them I've had most of what you listed.
With the first, I was still pretty young, after 5 years of dating I don't think I knew myself well enough to know if she knew me better than anyone else or not. Otherwise I'd say that I had all of those things in my first relationship.
With the second, I was much more mature and can say that after a couple of years I really did have everything you listed.
As for living with someone... Other than a persons own reservations, I don't really see any reason that you can't spend all of your free time with someone outside of marriage. Certainly spending the night in bed together isn't a valid option, but I don't think that's what you were referring to in the first place.
As for the OPs question... I'd say the only real difference between a serious relationship and a marriage is the vow. Assuming both parties take their vow seriously, you end up with someone that you know will be there through thick and thin. That vow makes a lot of things that Juli mentioned a lot easier. However marriage certainly doesn't guarantee those things. Likewise, I've seen that the trust required to achieve those can be achieved outside of marriage. Which leaves the only guaranteed difference still only being sex.
Maybe it's just the context. When I think about the word "girlfriend", it speaks of a very immature relationship, like the ones people have in high school and college, you know?
At my age, it's more like friends ----> dating -----> commitment time. In order for me to consider a relationship to be a "serious" one, the word "fiance" is involved.
Perhaps that's where the confusion lies. I'm old. haha If a guy were to call me his girlfriend, I wouldn't take him seriously.
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BananaPie
Guest
Say, may I just be a little older than Jullianna?
Friend of God = Friend of mine = Friendship -----> Courtship -----> Engagement -----> He may NOW kiss the bride.
As for the OP, what does it mean? It means either you are marrying for the very wrong reason, or you are already deceiving a girl how would rather marry for the right reasons.
Friend of God = Friend of mine = Friendship -----> Courtship -----> Engagement -----> He may NOW kiss the bride.
As for the OP, what does it mean? It means either you are marrying for the very wrong reason, or you are already deceiving a girl how would rather marry for the right reasons.
Hey dot, i was looking at your post, and i thought it was very commendable that you are taking the time to make such an introspection now.... Its natural to think about sex in marriage. And while it should not be your reason as I think u have already noted, it is a important part of marriage...
If you think sex has been a main reason for you, you have opportunity to put it in correct perspective now. Its fantastic that you shared that in such an honest forum, cause I guarantee you there a lot of Christians who have gotten married and will be getting married for just that purpose and they are not even aware of it. But it pretty much manifest when its too late.
So good for you!God loves it when we are honest, its only then He can help us....and as you submit to Him, you will get it right
All the best
Maybe it's just the context. When I think about the word "girlfriend", it speaks of a very immature relationship, like the ones people have in high school and college, you know?
At my age, it's more like friends ----> dating -----> commitment time. In order for me to consider a relationship to be a "serious" one, the word "fiance" is involved.
Yeah... I'll admit that my relationships are not typical by worldly standards.
Was friends with my first girlfriend for ~3 years. Between our friendship and seeking God's will, I was committed to marrying her when we first started dating. Needless to say, I didn't marry her so I certainly didn't have it all figured out; I certainly was young, but it was enough to last 5 years.
At my age (well more likely just with me) I have been lucky enough to get to know both of my girlfriends as pretty close friends for at least a couple of years before getting involved with them romantically.
So it's been Close Friends -> Dating(with marriage being my intention) -> relationship ending location changes.
But I won't hijack this thread any further; juliianna's definitely older than me, I suppose I can let her be wiser too.
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Jullianna
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asd101
Guest
It means you're not ready ,and don't get married!!! Thats not what marraige is about!!! Sex is just a part of it.. you'll learn your lesson if you do it, truest me!!
It means you just blew your chances with every girl on this website.
On a more serious note, if there is a topic that you want to get off of your mind... starting threads about it is going to have the opposite effect. This is something that you need to commit to the Lord in prayer, in a very serious way. "Casting all of your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."
On a more serious note, if there is a topic that you want to get off of your mind... starting threads about it is going to have the opposite effect. This is something that you need to commit to the Lord in prayer, in a very serious way. "Casting all of your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."
Hmm, I think you'd be surprised Pop. Believe it or not, there are plenty of girls with high sexual drive who could understand and appreciate some of what dot was getting at.
I'm kind of confused by your assumption that it was a topic that "he" wanted to get off his mind. Did that come from a conversation outside of this thread?
Actually the thoughts have gone back to normal(As far as being a guy goes
) Seems like it's linked to how lonely I am at the time.btw, I can tell you guys for sure now that I won't be marrying just for sex.
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Jullianna
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asd101
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Actually the thoughts have gone back to normal(As far as being a guy goes
btw, I can tell you guys for sure now that I won't be marrying just for sex.
ahhahaha... lol!!
!!! We all need people around us to not feel lonely sometimes!!! !!
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koalabear
Guest
that you are immature and not ready for the commitment and responsibilities marriage brings. not looking down, just speaking for myself.
.Hack0, I am truly glad for any progress you have made in ANY situation that you struggle with. And I say these next few things hoping to help you along, not to pick on you or make you feel bad.
But loneliness will always be a possibility. It will ebb and flow, there will be good times and bad. And your statement makes me think of saying, "I haven't robbed any banks in a while. It seems to be linked to how much cash I have on hand at the time." Not saying that your situation is like robbing a bank, I'm just making a point.
If there is an issue that bothers you (and the fact that you started this thread seems to suggest that it does), it needs to be committed to God, in a serious way. "Casting ALL of your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." He will help you out. He is bigger than any issue you could ever have.
Anyways, it looks like I have gotten to the point where I'd have the relationship over sex. Though I still do want the sex after marriage.
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Gossomer
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Actually I think it shows you ARE being sensitive to this...and showing some maturity too in honestly questioning yourself....if more people did that.....thinking first......less big, big, mistakes would occur.
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Nike
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Once, I heard a sermon about praying for what the heart desires. The pastor said "when you ask something from God, identify how you would use it for God's glory, not your own." so I guess that even when we ask for a husband/wife, we should also identify how we would be glorifying God in our marriage.
Colossians 3:23 " Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" says it better
God bless you
Colossians 3:23 " Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" says it better
God bless you