Can a Christian marry someone they are not physically attracted to if they are spiritually compatible?
Can a Christian marry someone they are not physically attracted to if they are spiritually compatible?
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passion84god
Guest
Another way to frame this question would be:
Are we more concerned about what we want out of a marriage or what God wants out of a marriage?
That will wear on you eventually...
I think one thing that also has to be considered is that physical appearance changes.
Even couples who are attracted to each other will have to get used to each other's changing looks over time.
What is the Mrs. going to look like after having 4 babies and can't get back to her pre-baby weight?
What is the Mr. going to look like after he's slowed down, and now has a pot belly that looks like he's just as pregnant as his wife?
Whenever this topic is brought up (do we need to be attracted to someone to marry them,) most people say yes, they absolutely need to be attracted to the person.
But even if they do marry an attractive person, what's going to happen if either of both of them lose their attractiveness over time?
I don't have a solution to either dilemma -- is it better to marry someone you're not that attracted to, or marry someone you're very attracted to, but lose that attraction as they lose their looks over time? (And if you were ever attractive to that person, chances are, you're going to lose your looks at some point, too.)
Again great post
It is really up to individual believers. Possible guy
gal even different opinions. As for myself, if for marriage, I want to fall in love, otherwise single life is not bad at all serving God, many pure friendships.
So far the message I got from God is not to marry for marriage sake. There is no reason to do so. Single people can serve God just as good as married people, if not better. So God do not want me to get married to serve.
God do want me to glorify God either in marriage or single.
I think you make a very important point. Physical appearance is temporary, and none of us will look the same twenty or thirty years from now. Aging, illness, pregnancy, stress, and life's challenges change all of us.
That said, I also think there's a difference between physical attraction and expecting someone to stay young or "perfect" forever. Attraction isn't only about beauty; it can grow through love, admiration, respect, and emotional intimacy. A husband or wife who ages alongside you can still be deeply attractive because you know their heart and have shared life together.
For me, the real question isn't whether someone will lose their youthful appearance—we all will. The question is whether the relationship is built on something deeper than appearance. If Christ is at the center, and there is genuine friendship, shared values, and mutual respect, then physical changes don't have to diminish love or attraction.
Do you really want to get married? Do you think you can fall in love of someone in the coming two months?Again great post
It is really up to individual believers. Possible guy
As for myself, if for marriage, I want to fall in love, otherwise single life is not bad at all serving God, many pure friendships.
So far the message I got from God is not to marry for marriage sake. There is no reason to do so. Single people can serve God just as good as married people, if not better. So God do not want me to get married to serve.
God do want me to glorify God either in marriage or single.
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passion84god
Guest
For you or from you?
For you, he wants the type of godly or virtuous woman he describes throughout his word. When it comes to physical attraction, you should consider this:
Proverbs 31:30
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Beauty is vain or fleeting. Whereas man looks to the outward, God looks at the heart, and a woman who fears the LORD should be your first priority.
From you, he wants you develop the inward character that will allow you to love your wife as Christ loves the church because that is what God designed marriage to represent. According to the second chapter of Malachi, God also desires godly seed or offspring should you ever have children, and that is why he said he makes the two one.
From what I've witnessed over the years, hardly anybody considers what God wants when choosing a spouse, and that is why so many marriages fail.
Another biggie, aside from physical attraction, is someone's job or career. Look at the greatest men of God in scripture. They had jobs like a shepherd, a tent-maker, and fishermen. They'd probably all be single in today's day and age because most people have selfish desires and couldn't care less about what God wants.
For you, he wants the type of godly or virtuous woman he describes throughout his word. When it comes to physical attraction, you should consider this:
Proverbs 31:30
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Beauty is vain or fleeting. Whereas man looks to the outward, God looks at the heart, and a woman who fears the LORD should be your first priority.
From you, he wants you develop the inward character that will allow you to love your wife as Christ loves the church because that is what God designed marriage to represent. According to the second chapter of Malachi, God also desires godly seed or offspring should you ever have children, and that is why he said he makes the two one.
From what I've witnessed over the years, hardly anybody considers what God wants when choosing a spouse, and that is why so many marriages fail.
Another biggie, aside from physical attraction, is someone's job or career. Look at the greatest men of God in scripture. They had jobs like a shepherd, a tent-maker, and fishermen. They'd probably all be single in today's day and age because most people have selfish desires and couldn't care less about what God wants.
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passion84god
Guest
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passion84god
Guest
"You," generically, as in anybody, or "me," specifically? Personally, I know what God desires from both partners in a marriage, but I only have control over myself. I have spent the time to develop godly character in many different ways, so I believe that I would be ready for marriage. However, I would be extremely cautious when it comes to who I would consider marrying because I know the type of woman that God says a man should look for. To keep it scriptural, as opposed to me just offering my own opinion on the matter, "A virtuous woman who can find?"
If you read enough threads here in the Singles forum, then you will recognize that another biggie is "age." Read the book of Ruth. It's only four chapters. If you read it, then you find that there was definitely a substantial age difference between Ruth and Boaz. Boaz was apparently somewhere around the same age as Naomi's deceased husband, and Naomi was the mother-in-law of Ruth. Boaz referred to Ruth as being a "damsel" or young woman, and he also commended her for not going after the "young men," so there was definitely an age gap between them. They did marry, and what was the result of that bond? Obed was born, who was the father of Jesse, who was the father of David, through whose line Christ was born into this world. This was God's desire from before the foundation of the world, but it took a woman like Ruth, who had committed to following God, for that desire to be fulfilled. Nowadays? Almost everyone has their own checklist, and their checklist greatly differs from God's checklist in many ways.
If you read enough threads here in the Singles forum, then you will recognize that another biggie is "age." Read the book of Ruth. It's only four chapters. If you read it, then you find that there was definitely a substantial age difference between Ruth and Boaz. Boaz was apparently somewhere around the same age as Naomi's deceased husband, and Naomi was the mother-in-law of Ruth. Boaz referred to Ruth as being a "damsel" or young woman, and he also commended her for not going after the "young men," so there was definitely an age gap between them. They did marry, and what was the result of that bond? Obed was born, who was the father of Jesse, who was the father of David, through whose line Christ was born into this world. This was God's desire from before the foundation of the world, but it took a woman like Ruth, who had committed to following God, for that desire to be fulfilled. Nowadays? Almost everyone has their own checklist, and their checklist greatly differs from God's checklist in many ways.
Sure they can, if they really want to. But it would be kind of awkward sharing a bedroom with someone who smells or has bad breath. I mean what would you do besides stare at each other. Pray?
Yes, and yes.
However if you see my other post about that 123 pre requirement, trust me, for 50 plus, very few will meet those requirements.
First 2 are hard core direction from God, I dare not to disobey.
The 3rd one is personal preference. I don't want marriage to start out as a charity event.
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passion84god
Guest
It is written of Christ:
Isaiah 53:2
For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
Did you, as a part of the bride of Christ, come to Jesus because of what he offered you outwardly or inwardly?
Carry that over to your natural marriage, should you get married, and you will probably be blessed for life.
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passion84god
Guest
123 prerequirements? I missed that list, but now I am curious. That might be the biggest checklist yet.
Example from the Bible. Leah and Jacob. Jacob was physically attracted to or in love with Rachel. He wasn't with Leah, but still married her, maybe she was under a veil when they married and didn't realise it was her until the big reveal.
They were sisters and both Hebrew. Although, actually Rachel still worshipped idols, she hid them under her bed. it was Leah who prayed to God hoping Jacob would love her.
In the end she gave birth to many sons, including Judah who was in the royal lineage that leads to Jesus. She was also the mother of Dinah, who ended up marrying a non Hebrew she was attracted to, and he was going to convert and be circumcised, but her brothers thought her fiance treated her like a whore so they killed him.
True story. Look it up. It's in Genesis.
They were sisters and both Hebrew. Although, actually Rachel still worshipped idols, she hid them under her bed. it was Leah who prayed to God hoping Jacob would love her.
In the end she gave birth to many sons, including Judah who was in the royal lineage that leads to Jesus. She was also the mother of Dinah, who ended up marrying a non Hebrew she was attracted to, and he was going to convert and be circumcised, but her brothers thought her fiance treated her like a whore so they killed him.
True story. Look it up. It's in Genesis.
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passion84god
Guest
I tend to think spirituality is physically attractive anyway, meaning when you have the Holy Spirit, you are transfigured so you will be attractive in that you have the light of Christ in you. The spirit transforms the flesh.