Courtship?

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Lanolin said:
is that what you offer churchgoing churchgoer?

Because most churches don't bother with that. I have never seen or heard of it in all the years I've been going to church.

In the olden days, people got ENGAGED. It was a betrothal, it was announced to the village, town, local newspaper, town crier, banns were put up. I mean everyone knew.

Why should you not wait for engagement? Don't want to be called a 'Waity Katie' ? As far as I know, if you just waiting around, you're still single.
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Yes, our church elders can definitely help with counseling.
In general, the single man and woman 👫 when go out together, will meet their social circles. If church is important part of their social circle, then definitely meet church people have some conversations.
Visiting a church, vs committing to a church, is a bit different.
 
I guess no flowers then
The Bouquet list is a bust.

What's a gal to do round here?
 
Jarmo said:
From the goal of the relationship.
If the goal is just to be together, then it is casual.
If the goal is to get married and start the family, then it is a serious relationship.
This does not imply that you stick together until the wedding but you aim at it.
A lot of people don't have those ambition in this day and age.
They just focus on having fun and being together as long as it feels good without commitment.

Courting has this goal, that dating doesn't necessarily have.
Courting is basically "dating to marry".
Dating can be just sticking together for now.
Some dating leads to marriage, but it is not always the goal.
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This sounds totally boring

dating is setting a date
if you want to set a wedding date then do it

But what do you DO to court someone. You don't just talk about it.
 
Ok, so in the Pacific Islands, of which I am sort of close to, being on the Pacific rim, we have these things called FLOWERS

If you put a flower over your ear, depending on which side, it means you are single, or taken (for the ladies)

We also have a courtship ritual that involves a lot of dancing, ie. waving arms around and stomping of feet, maybe singing, and music.
 
Also, we wear nice clothes, ladies dress up, men wax their chests, etc.

It's not just oh, how many babies shall we have. What job do you do. Where do you live? And boring stuff like that. That's the business side of things. That is not courtship. Thats just nosy questions.
 
Also, older people marry (again) and don't have any intention of starting a family. So a serious relationship always have to involve having a family and ambition? No LOVE involved? Puh-lease. That's what Jacob did with Leah.
 
Lanolin said:
This sounds totally boring

dating is setting a date
if you want to set a wedding date then do it

But what do you DO to court someone. You don't just talk about it.
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In courting the wedding day is (at least the time frame) is important to set.
It makes it a bit more serious rather than just telling to the lady "we will see".

As of what to do to court someone concretely.
I would say more or less the same as simply dating but just with clear intention
to take the relationship further. You get to know the basics of the person via shared experiences.
It can be with the cup of coffee or with some activity.
 
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Jarmo said:
In courting the wedding day is (at least the time frame) is important to set.
It makes it a bit more serious rather than just telling to the lady "we will see".

As of what to do to court someone concretely.
I would say more or less the same as simply dating but just with clear intention
to take the relationship further. You get to know the basics of the person via shared experiences.
It can be with the cup of coffee or with some activity.
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OMG

A cup of COFFEE? Are you serious?

What if your intended doesn't even like coffee?

'some activity' what do you mean by 'some activity?"

How would you win a gal's affections by having a cup of coffee and 'some activity'??
 
Lanolin said:
My dictionary says 1. the act, period, or art of seeking the love of someone with the intent to marry.
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That is not a good definition. Oxford dictionary says: Be involved with someone romantically, with the intention of marrying.

It is an old word. ‘Intent to marry’ is the key difference. Back then ‘dating’ and sleeping around was not socially accepted, courting was.

Lanolin said:
I am seriously thinking that some people here do not even know what romance is. Or how to do it.
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I will be your student and you romance me to the end, but only if we’re courting… :love::love:
 
so. how do you 'become involved with someone romantically'?

Come on, details. Don't hedge or beat around the bush avoiding the question.
We are not doing a deal here.
 
This is a question for YOU to answer if you are male, it's up to you to make the first move, as many Christians keep telling me.
 
I have been to many cafes, alone, with friends, even with male friends and not a hint of romance.

Of course, when I have my hot chocolate, sometimes the baristas add marshmallows, or little chocolate fish, they may even swirl little hearts in the milk froth. But it doesn't mean they intend to marry me. Or...did they and it went completely over my head?
 
OMG all this time, I'd been going to cafes, for morning tea, and the one with the coffee card has been adding my hot chocolate to their card ---racking up the dates, to bring up the courage to intend to marry me once they've reached their 9th stamp so they can get their 10th one free!

Never knew! This is christian courtship????
 
So what is the 'small activity'? Reading the free magazines at the cafe, and doing the little trivia quizzes?
 
Lanolin said:
So what is the 'small activity'? Reading the free magazines at the cafe, and doing the little trivia quizzes?
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1st stage, friendship, go take a walk, talk about life, hobby, anything. If you enjoy talking together, not boring, then go for next step.

1st step can take 1 date, or some people take 1 month or more.

For example, a girl and a guy go out a few times together, having a good time, interesting to each other. Then comes next time go to outdoor concert event, he behaved not so good, some true personality comes out. Nothing bad, just not the girl s cup of tea.
Then the girl gave another opportunity to him, he continued to behaved like that. Then the girl decide to stop the dating.

Take it as a friendship building. Some people we just love to get together, some we don't. Totally personal choice.
 
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