The Rules

[Lanolin]

What are the rules?
Apparently there are some rules for dating that I'm not aware of. Sort of like the 5 second rule if a piece of food drops on the floor, if you pick it up within 5 seconds you can still eat it.

Are they like that?
Or is it something else, or do people just make up their own rules? Are there different rules for women and men? What happens if you break these rules? Would you get stoned?

 

[Lanolin]

hmm nobody knows any rules?

Like I don't know, if you go out to dinner or movies, the one that asks for company needs to pay for the other one? You have to kiss them on the cheek to say thank you?

I have often wondered, why it's expected that women want to be stay-at-home-wives, even if they don't have any children, and the husband to work 40 hours a week at least to pay for house and food and bills etc, while the wife cleans and cooks and looks pretty.

What if it's reversed and its the wife who wants to work, pay for everything while the husband stays at home, cooks and cleans and looks handsome, like a stay-at-home-husband?

Or is that wrong, or breaking the rules? In what fantasy land do married couples do this?

 

[CarriePie]

Since I haven't ever joined a dating site or looked for someone to date, I can't say that I have rules in that regard.
My past relationships all happened organically. We'd get to know each other and at some point decide to be in a relationship. After this is when the fun begins. Going on dates, picnics, doing fun things together. Everyone is different, but I just feel like dating before the relationship sounds awkward to me personally.

What if it's reversed and its the wife who wants to work, pay for everything while the husband stays at home, cooks and cleans and looks handsome, like a stay-at-home-husband?

If this were to take place ^ he better be an affectionate man with a beard. That's my rules

 

[Lanolin]

Since I haven't ever joined a dating site or looked for someone to date, I can't say that I have rules in that regard.
My past relationships all happened organically. We'd get to know each other and at some point decide to be in a relationship. After this is when the fun begins. Going on dates, picnics, doing fun things together. Everyone is different, but I just feel like dating before the relationship sounds awkward to me personally.





If this were to take place ^ he better be an affectionate man with a beard. That's my rules

Yea dating before relationship just sounds like courtship that happened in a cafe.

My rule is we can't meet in a cafe. It has to be somewhere else, not a cafe. Somewhere original, or maybe the zoo. Cafes are for retired ladies who lunch.
And I don't live in Paris, where it would be romantic. Cafes here are not like that.

 

[Parable]

What if it's reversed and its the wife who wants to work, pay for everything while the husband stays at home, cooks and cleans and looks handsome, like a stay-at-home-husband?

Doesn't that only happen in romance novels? Idk, I don't read those.

 

[Lanolin]

Doesn't that only happen in romance novels? Idk, I don't read those.

I don't know, never read any Mills & Boon.

Of the Danielle Steel's I read, all the husbands to be had been wealthy lawyers. Bridget Jone's bf/fiance/husband was a human rights lawyer.

 

[Lanolin]

I never mixed with any people studying law at the University. They had their own separate faculty and snobbed anyone who wasn't studying law. Also they tended to partner with each other so it was like an enclosed circle.

One time I applied to work in the law library, apart from dealing with electronic databases like Lexis-Nexis, some of the job was to dust the legal tomes as they were bound in thick leather from hundreds of years ago and they needed special leather shining wax/buffer. I didn't get that job tho. I worked in Engineering.

 

[Churchgoer]

For Christian?
Rule 1, date believer
Rule 2, biblical single

 

[Lanolin]

What is rule 2?

Is there a rule 3? What happens if you break that rule? Get stoned? Or your salvation is frustrating the grace of God?

Sometimes dating believers isn't much fun cos all they seem to want to do is meet in cafes. And then after one date they decide they want to marry you on the spot but don't even give you any chance to think about it, or even a ring but a promise they cannot fulfill. In this day and age anyway.

 

[Churchgoer]

What is rule 2?

Is there a rule 3? What happens if you break that rule? Get stoned? Or your salvation is frustrating the grace of God?

Sometimes dating believers isn't much fun cos all they seem to want to do is meet in cafes. And then after one date they decide they want to marry you on the spot but don't even give you any chance to think about it, or even a ring but a promise they cannot fulfill. In this day and age anyway.

Biblical single, that refers to Jesus teaching, mark 10 .

If a man divorced his wife without a biblical reason, such as the wife didn't commit adultery, the wife didn't abandon him, then the man is not single, even if he has a divorce paper.

Agree with you, don't get married for marriage sake. You are entitled to think about it, definitely pray to Jesus and ask Jesus.

 

[Lanolin]

Biblical single, that refers to Jesus teaching, mark 10 .

If a man divorced his wife without a biblical reason, such as the wife didn't commit adultery, the wife didn't abandon him, then the man is not single, even if he has a divorce paper.

Agree with you, don't get married for marriage sake. You are entitled to think about it, definitely pray to Jesus and ask Jesus.

? What would be a reason to divorce someone if the wife didn't commit adultery or abandoned them?

I don't really know anyone who's done that but I do know some couples divorced because of they became abusive or threatened their life if they didn't do something the other wanted.

Also wives can divorce their husbands now it isn't just the men can divorce their wives.

 

[Churchgoer]

What is rule 2?

Is there a rule 3? What happens if you break that rule? Get stoned? Or your salvation is frustrating the grace of God?

Sometimes dating believers isn't much fun cos all they seem to want to do is meet in cafes. And then after one date they decide they want to marry you on the spot but don't even give you any chance to think about it, or even a ring but a promise they cannot fulfill. In this day and age anyway.

If you break the rule, God will teach you lesson. Abraham, Moses, David all broke God's rules, so take the consequences.

God is love, as well as righteous.

 

[Churchgoer]

? What would be a reason to divorce someone if the wife didn't commit adultery or abandoned them?

, many man made excuses.

I don't really know anyone who's done that but I do know some couples divorced because of they became abusive or threatened their life if they didn't do something the other wanted.

Still not biblical according to Jesus.
Abuse can be separated. Separation is not single.

Also wives can divorce their husbands now it isn't just the men can divorce their wives.

True. Same rule applies.

 

[Lanolin]

Does being biblically single basically mean you are unmarried or never have been married? Or are widowed? I don't know.
I don't think widows are necessarily single as they still have ties to their in-laws and of course may have children (even grown up) that remind them of their spouse. Anyone who remarries probably has a lot of memories of their first spouse (whether good or bad) and if its the second or third time round, can be a bit disconcerting to someone who has never been married before.

I think it can make them feel like they are on the rebound, and thats not fair to the other partner to feel like second best or the other wife/husband. Though I suppose they need to accept that. Yea with divorcees you need to tread carefully cos what if you run into their ex and they don't have a restraining order or anything?

 

[Lanolin]

Also what happens if you remarry and your children hate your new spouse? I can't imagine being a step-mother or step-dad is always easy.

 

[Churchgoer]

Every one is entitled to their preferences.

I am just saying according to scripture.....I only go by scripture. My preference is within the scripture allowed, I can have preference.

 

[Churchgoer]

Also what happens if you remarry and your children hate your new spouse? I can't imagine being a step-mother or step-dad is always easy.

All can happen. Pray to Jesus and seek.

 

[Lanolin]

Every one is entitled to their preferences.

I am just saying according to scripture.....I only go by scripture. My preference is within the scripture allowed, I can have preference.

What do you mean preference?

Are you just saying you prefer not to date anyone who's a divorcee.

Cos what would be an unbiblical reason to divorce someone? That you know of.

I've already said some people divorce because of abuse. Are they not ever allowed to marry again or would it be wise not to. Lest they become another victim.

 

[Lanolin]

Is a preference a rule? Or a personal rule?

Confusage.

 

[Churchgoer]

What do you mean preference?

Prefer thin, fat, tall, short, without step kids.... black white... all preference, free to prefer.

Are you just saying you prefer not to date anyone who's a divorcee.

Me? I personally try to stick with Jesus teaching. If a man is divorced by his wife, and he is the innocent party, and he repented whatever his responsibility for divorce, and his ex wife remarried or passed, then he is biblical single, I don't reject dating him. Scripture is very clear on this teaching.

Cos what would be an unbiblical reason to divorce someone? That you know of.

For example, a man like Jeff bezo, fell for another woman, divorced his wife. That is unbiblical.

I've already said some people divorce because of abuse. Are they not ever allowed to marry again or would it be wise not to. Lest they become another victim.

Case by case. But abuse is entitled to separation, not divorce, according to scripture.