Hello 👋🏽 Newbie Estranged Scapegoat

[ForSuchATimeAsThis]

Greetings to you all in the sweet & precious name of Jesus.

please advise, I have been the family scapegoat for the majority of my life, with my adult children also included with their aunts. I have had long cancer journey, of which none showed any real interest or concern for the last 15 yrs
The last 18 months as I head into my early 60’s I’ve stepped away.
As I sit & reflect back, they’ve never shown any real interest in me or my life, they go on holidays , got married, had children, meals out etc & totally excluded. No niceties or response when I do - I’ve been totally invisible- me initiating, me calling , me doing the birthdays gifts etc never any thanks yous etc

My daughter now 38 after years of estrangement, allows me sporadic once every 2/3 months ( to suit her as divorced) baby sitting my grandchild 4, no real dialogue- just a WhatsApp message date time & collection with no dialogue, salutation, how are you etc how did it go - it’s awkward as little one sees no interaction.

Please don’t misinterpret this ℹ love, I pray , the heartache , the coldness towards me - I feel like rubbish pick up & dropped when convenient. As blatant refusal to talk or acknowledge me for over 12 yrs my children ( my 2 sisters over 30yrs )

Yes my family is dysfunctional as we don’t argue, as each person lives in their own home , own friends etc but just due to childhood differences seperated & have no real interest in myself. I walk on egg shells & walked away. Anxiety stress worry they bring me in the past resurfaced with just the drop & collection of grandson.

love my grandson but just the blatant discard once whatever is being sorted - leaves me feeling used. Why do I allow them to be so mean ? Why do I allow it whT can’t I just walk away ? Prayer I do .. scapegoated for so long I’m exhausted.. I dream of just shutting the door for good .

Please honest advice ? Want off this merry go round , exhausted .

Hello,
I am new here too. Yesterday, I watched a YouTube video that went through your general situation. It struck a cord with me. It said that the reason a person is in not so good relationships is because they had experienced abandonment and did not want others to experience abandonment so they kept giving chance after chance. You do not want to abandon your family but it seems like no one in your family knows how to be there for one another. It is good for you to reach out. I know we give what we hope to receive but know that you are not going to get it from them and even if you did it would be a temporary fill up. The following is easy to say but takes a lot of practicing doing but here it goes, Jesus needs to be the one to fill you up. The only way that that can happen is having a relationship with Him. How can you do that when you can’t see Him? Include Him in everything. Talk with Him even out loud. I can tell you all of this from personal experience. I struggle and He knows it. He sees my tears and feels my heart ache. I am learning to express gratitude to Him in all things and in all situations and trying to look at others with His eyes. He made you in His image and He made them in His image. What a blessing to have moments with your grandson. Breath into Him the love of Jesus and thank God for each and every moment. Do things you enjoy doing and do all for His honor and glory. I hope you have a wonderful day.

 

[Seekingpeace]

Hello,
I am new here too. Yesterday, I watched a YouTube video that went through your general situation. It struck a cord with me. It said that the reason a person is in not so good relationships is because they had experienced abandonment and did not want others to experience abandonment so they kept giving chance after chance. You do not want to abandon your family but it seems like no one in your family knows how to be there for one another. It is good for you to reach out. I know we give what we hope to receive but know that you are not going to get it from them and even if you did it would be a temporary fill up. The following is easy to say but takes a lot of practicing doing but here it goes, Jesus needs to be the one to fill you up. The only way that that can happen is having a relationship with Him. How can you do that when you can’t see Him? Include Him in everything. Talk with Him even out loud. I can tell you all of this from personal experience. I struggle and He knows it. He sees my tears and feels my heart ache. I am learning to express gratitude to Him in all things and in all situations and trying to look at others with His eyes. He made you in His image and He made them in His image. What a blessing to have moments with your grandson. Breath into Him the love of Jesus and thank God for each and every moment. Do things you enjoy doing and do all for His honor and glory. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Thank you so much

 

[Seekingpeace]

Seeking Peace,
My heart goes out to you.
I had a similar situation and was just thinking, how can I write anything that would make a difference in a simple forum.
Then it occured to me that the Lord touched my heart with this series on mental health from a biblical point of view. I finished part three and looking forward to the next in the series. I wish to share it with you and may the love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit help you in every way.
If anyone can, He can.
Please bookmark this YouTube channel series for further lessons.

Thank you so much

 

[andy700700]

Ecclesiastes 9:5
New International Version
5 For the living know that they will die,
but the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even their name is forgotten.

Mark 12:30-31
New International Version
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

2 Corinthians 4:6
New International Version
6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

Colossians 3:13
New International Version
13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.