David really should have just clipped those Philistine's toenails.
Whilst I agree that unclipped toenails can be obnoxious, probably not to the point that King Saul would not have noticed the difference between them and what was expected? It likely would have led to some amusing conversations after the exchange, if not an anxious rescrutinizing of the original contract.
"Eh, sire, it appears our brave warrior has eh... circumcised the wrong bits of the Philistines..."
"We did, ah, specify unambiguously enough in the contract terms, did we not?"
"Well, I uh... I didn't provide a diagram or anything, but I presumed it would be obvious..."
"Hmmmph... Probably we should just have asked for scalps... Apparently, that's what they do in America. Less fiddly and well... leaves fewer questions about what the purpose of said trophies are... You wouldn't believe the perverted hobbies some of the folks have been accusing me of lately as a result of this episode..."
A quick crash course for David on the intricacies of Philistine anatomy and/or How to become a semi-competent mohel in 3 easy steps - whichever applied - and another 200 philistines later, likely the same result. Or you are meaning he wouldn't have married Michal at all?
Not sure about the graphic novel version of this thread.
Or the stripper version.
Tsk, tsk. The graphic novel would be about Connie the Barbarian - or whatever the opposite of Barbarian is, but certainly no strippers!
