Hi everyone! To be honest this is the first time I'm posting here and I hope I am doing this correctly.
This year has been such a difficult one for me. I have moved to US from UK around 5 years ago, due to my husband career (we move a lot from state to state also). This meant leaving my family, friends, job behind. For years we have managed, quite happily, I thought. It felt like I truly found my other half.. Well for the last 6 months or so it's been the most difficult. He has pulled away and no matter how much effort I put in, it seemed to backfire. He wouldn't want to talk. I have been quite isolated, no friends, family, or car. Most my days were spent either cleaning the house or cooking. He stopped interacting and I've found myself truly alone. He would leave for training and those months would be even more difficult, I felt like a ghost. No one knows me here or checks up on me. I'd pray a lot and I truly felt God's presence with me. At times I'd fear that if anything happened to me and he is away..well no one would know.
Long story short.. it looks like we are getting a divorce. I look at this man and it breaks my heart. I've given him 8 years of complete love and devotion, which I dont regret. But he's treatment of me has gotten so critical that I often fear mentioning anything that makes me unhappy or sad incase it makes him upset. Never in my life would I have guessed that this would be our relationship. And no one who knows us would have either to be honest.
My heart really hurts, I've been praying a lot, and I've cried so many nights..I've cried more in this year than ever in my 34 years it seems. It's been so difficult..my mother is having a serious surgery soon. My younger brother who has autism is lonely and dealing with depression. My father never complains but I know things haven't been easy for him. Right now, it feels like everything is falling apart. Everyone I love is either struggling or leaving me. Im going home soon, Im leaving everything behind. I have no job waiting for me there but I can stay with my parents which im grateful for. I read the Bible and it helps a lot. I dont know if this is my pruning season perhaps. But Im feeling so much fear..so much loneliness. I have no one to talk to. I usually speak to my mother but her being unwell I just cant bring myself to worry her. Im so overwhelmed and lost. And somehow I need to figure everything out in a week or so. I'm so sorry this is long and quite messy. Im afraid sadness has overtaken today. I would be so so thankful for any prayers or just any advice, I truly need some guidance. I dont have a community so Im seeking one online. I'm scared to picture the next couple of months, I never pictured my husband not in my life.. everything around me is linked to him.
I've grown closer to God, I know he sees me and hears my prayers. I just cant believe all of this is happening.. How do I do all this? I just feel such deep sadness..
This year has been such a difficult one for me. I have moved to US from UK around 5 years ago, due to my husband career (we move a lot from state to state also). This meant leaving my family, friends, job behind. For years we have managed, quite happily, I thought. It felt like I truly found my other half.. Well for the last 6 months or so it's been the most difficult. He has pulled away and no matter how much effort I put in, it seemed to backfire. He wouldn't want to talk. I have been quite isolated, no friends, family, or car. Most my days were spent either cleaning the house or cooking. He stopped interacting and I've found myself truly alone. He would leave for training and those months would be even more difficult, I felt like a ghost. No one knows me here or checks up on me. I'd pray a lot and I truly felt God's presence with me. At times I'd fear that if anything happened to me and he is away..well no one would know.
Long story short.. it looks like we are getting a divorce. I look at this man and it breaks my heart. I've given him 8 years of complete love and devotion, which I dont regret. But he's treatment of me has gotten so critical that I often fear mentioning anything that makes me unhappy or sad incase it makes him upset. Never in my life would I have guessed that this would be our relationship. And no one who knows us would have either to be honest.
My heart really hurts, I've been praying a lot, and I've cried so many nights..I've cried more in this year than ever in my 34 years it seems. It's been so difficult..my mother is having a serious surgery soon. My younger brother who has autism is lonely and dealing with depression. My father never complains but I know things haven't been easy for him. Right now, it feels like everything is falling apart. Everyone I love is either struggling or leaving me. Im going home soon, Im leaving everything behind. I have no job waiting for me there but I can stay with my parents which im grateful for. I read the Bible and it helps a lot. I dont know if this is my pruning season perhaps. But Im feeling so much fear..so much loneliness. I have no one to talk to. I usually speak to my mother but her being unwell I just cant bring myself to worry her. Im so overwhelmed and lost. And somehow I need to figure everything out in a week or so. I'm so sorry this is long and quite messy. Im afraid sadness has overtaken today. I would be so so thankful for any prayers or just any advice, I truly need some guidance. I dont have a community so Im seeking one online. I'm scared to picture the next couple of months, I never pictured my husband not in my life.. everything around me is linked to him.
I've grown closer to God, I know he sees me and hears my prayers. I just cant believe all of this is happening.. How do I do all this? I just feel such deep sadness..
I dont know what you've been going through but I will be praying for you also! 
️ I wish you a truly blessed day!