hi Francine.
A helpful note, we have a prayer forum, you may want to consider posting prayer requests there as the people in that section are looking to pray for others and you may get more prayer that way. And they are good at it, heh.
And, if you don't mind some advice, it sounds to me you aren't ready to be married. You have a distrust in men, which means even if you were to meet a good guy, that distrust isn't going to magically disappear. In fact it may interfere with your ability to form a relationship with a man.
Also, remember, the goal of marriage is not to find someone to fulfill us, or to really even be about what we can get out of it. True marriage is about self sacrifice, its about giving, not getting.
So i suggest forming some friendships, even if they're only online. Learning from others, growing in your walk. growing out of your distrust for men and your desire to have a knight in shining armor come whisk you away from all your troubles.
Lastly, bear in mind, 'soul mate' has no biblical basis. The root of the concept lies in greek mythology (pagan religion), and is fueled my secular culture. Hope some of this helped.