So fustrated with being single...

[Ugly]

Sorry, but yeah when I'm talking about a girlfriend I'm talking about a girl I can eventually marry. I am looking for a wife.

As for saying 30's is old. Let me just put it this way, I want to be married around 25.

As for the reasons why I want a wife... They are listed here in the 1st post...

http://christianchat.com/christian-...-real-reasons-youre-looking-husband-wife.html

I wanted to be married by 25 too. Thank God i didn't, though. I wasn't ready. And to be honest, its pretty apparent you aren't either.

You admit your selfish, well, marriage is 100% about selfLESS. If you're going to enter a marriage selfishly you can pretty much count on not staying married.

Obsessive is how you come across about the whole topic. Your posts all sound the same. And chances are you comes across desperate to women. Which is a major turn off. Also, they probably can tell you're 'on the prowl' and women often sense that and it can be a turn off as well.

While we all have things we would like in a spouse, requiring she have your interests is going to make it harder. Especially when you expect women to like video games. (and yes, ladies, i know some women like video games, but the majority don't, so spare me the lecture).

You don't seem to be getting the idea of waiting on God. When God brings you the right person, its not going to be because you practiced your social skills, or because you pressured your friends into setting you up, or because you went to church to meet chicks. Your shyness won't matter. All these things you're saying are helps or hinderances aren't going to matter. The only things that will matter are your walk with God, and you having a TRUE understanding of marriage and that it requires of you to be a man and a husband.

All in all right now i just see someone who has their own plans, their own timing, and seems to be impatient and irritated that things aren't happening on their time.

Lastly, you seem to lack sensitivity to others. The 'don't want to end up like others on here...' comment i found quite offensive and i'm sure there will be others who agree. Its a derogatory attitude and shows you look down on people in that position. I'm sure you'll say thats not true, but that is exactly what that means.

Really i'm not trying to be critical or mean. Just trying to point out some things you may not be seeing yourself, as i'm on the outside of the situation and can spot things you can't. Hopefully you'll hear what i'm saying and think about it as opposed to just getting offended.

 

[GreenNnice]

I wanted to be married by 25 too. Thank God i didn't, though. I wasn't ready. And to be honest, its pretty apparent you aren't either.

You admit your selfish, well, marriage is 100% about selfLESS. If you're going to enter a marriage selfishly you can pretty much count on not staying married.

Obsessive is how you come across about the whole topic. Your posts all sound the same. And chances are you comes across desperate to women. Which is a major turn off. Also, they probably can tell you're 'on the prowl' and women often sense that and it can be a turn off as well.

While we all have things we would like in a spouse, requiring she have your interests is going to make it harder. Especially when you expect women to like video games. (and yes, ladies, i know some women like video games, but the majority don't, so spare me the lecture).

You don't seem to be getting the idea of waiting on God. When God brings you the right person, its not going to be because you practiced your social skills, or because you pressured your friends into setting you up, or because you went to church to meet chicks. Your shyness won't matter. All these things you're saying are helps or hinderances aren't going to matter. The only things that will matter are your walk with God, and you having a TRUE understanding of marriage and that it requires of you to be a man and a husband.

All in all right now i just see someone who has their own plans, their own timing, and seems to be impatient and irritated that things aren't happening on their time.

Lastly, you seem to lack sensitivity to others. The 'don't want to end up like others on here...' comment i found quite offensive and i'm sure there will be others who agree. Its a derogatory attitude and shows you look down on people in that position. I'm sure you'll say thats not true, but that is exactly what that means.

Really i'm not trying to be critical or mean. Just trying to point out some things you may not be seeing yourself, as i'm on the outside of the situation and can spot things you can't. Hopefully you'll hear what i'm saying and think about it as opposed to just getting offended.

-----
Dothack0, my prinny disgaea, unfeathered, and, therefore, unpreened, disgruntled, pengo, friend,.sigh... I feel for you and your stricken loneliness feelings.
But, dotdude, aviary bud, please pray for what you are about to hear that you remember what God wants you to .

yes, yes, YES! , again, the wise words of Ug are so true. Heck, I would call it 'Truth,' but 'that,' of course is only the Word of God that is our true Truth to go by....

But yes, the worded way you put things doyhack0, and, I love you, bird buddy, but what you say speak of a selfish nature and , with God in our heart, that nature must be put , and, confidenced in His ability to sate your desires. It must be this selfless , as Ug put it, that dominates you.

You must not FAIL to understand , dh0, that selfishness and want that is not God's timing for your life will lead to sin 'crouching at your door , if its alright I use a God speaking to Cain reference after Cain was upset God liked Abel's offering over His.

And, what did Cain do next ?

Dh0, you must kill this desire for a her and replace it with a Him, as in God, for now. You must. Until you do not FAIL to put God first in your life with your choices, including video games and anime you mentioned you want to find a girl that likes those things too, you are I am sorry, Christ bro , but until you van understand God in your life to a point that anime and video games and other stuff become 2nd to.Him you are not ready for her.

Walk with God, strengthen your Walk, by what you choose to do (is there christian anime out there or bible video games? )Like Ug says.

right now, don't just be in church, be with your heart drenched in the Word, listening to.your pastor, taking notes, asking questions to him or a spiritual mentor (don't got one? Pray for one. And, hey, here I am IF you think you can't find one )

Keep on keeping on, keep asking God what now? And , then follow what 'it' is.

God bless you , cool avatar dude

 

[dothackzero]

While we all have things we would like in a spouse, requiring she have your interests is going to make it harder. Especially when you expect women to like video games. (and yes, ladies, i know some women like video games, but the majority don't, so spare me the lecture).

You don't seem to be getting the idea of waiting on God. When God brings you the right person, its not going to be because you practiced your social skills, or because you pressured your friends into setting you up, or because you went to church to meet chicks. Your shyness won't matter. All these things you're saying are helps or hinderances aren't going to matter. The only things that will matter are your walk with God, and you having a TRUE understanding of marriage and that it requires of you to be a man and a husband.

I'm not requiring that my future wife has to like video games, just accepting the fact that I play them is fine. Anime is kinda diffrent though.

As for the not wanting to wait on God. I have a theory that most of the people that are older that aren't married or really haven't even found a girlfriend are just waiting for God to just plop a girl on their lap(more or less) with a sign saying she's gonna be your wife - Love God. I know it's not that easy to find a wife, that's way I'm actively searching while God brings her my way. Basically, I don't wanna be waiting around for another 10-20 years, when it reality I could have had her in a year or 2.

 

[mystdancer50]

What if it is not God's will for you to marry in a year or two but to wait ten, twenty, even thirty years? What if God calls you to a life of celebacy and singleness? Are you prepared to wait on God and forget what you want, forget your timetable? Are you prepared to say yes Lord, Your will not mine be done, if He tells you no about marriage?

 

[mystdancer50]

Something to consider is that most of those here have already decided to wait on God. I am a bit of an oddball here as a call to celebacy and singleness is what I want. So, my question is reversed. If God calls me to marriage, how would I respond? I have already surrendered, I have already prepared my will to be laid aside so that I can do Jesus' will regardless of my fears, dreams, and desires.

Marriage is a high calling. I think many choose to ignore this truth. This is why the divorce rate is so high among Christians.

 

[littlecupcake]

Sorry, but yeah when I'm talking about a girlfriend I'm talking about a girl I can eventually marry. I am looking for a wife.

As for saying 30's is old. Let me just put it this way, I want to be married around 25.

As for the reasons why I want a wife... They are listed here in the 1st post...

http://christianchat.com/christian-...-real-reasons-youre-looking-husband-wife.html

the more you worry for it the more it's gonna take. God has a perfect time for you getting married.
And believe me I know what I'm talking about.

Try to learn and understand Jesús and his love is the only who can provide the love and the needs you're having, when you do it, and when you look at Him and need only Him, then the girl, the wife is going to appear in your life.

meanwhile pray, get to know girls, talk to married men for his advices and experiences, that's helpful.

 

[Liz01]

What if it is not God's will for you to marry in a year or two but to wait ten, twenty, even thirty years? What if God calls you to a life of celebacy and singleness? Are you prepared to wait on God and forget what you want, forget your timetable? Are you prepared to say yes Lord, Your will not mine be done, if He tells you no about marriage?

I think dothackzero already fainted with your questions.....

 

[error]

23? It is not the end of the world yet
Enjoy your life! You can do many fun things being single

 

[mystdancer50]

I think dothackzero already fainted with your questions.....

LOL. I would have done so if I were in his shoes, young and eagerly awaiting marriage.

 

[PopClick]

Just know that if you put finding a girlfriend/wife before finding your relationship with the LORD, then neither quest will work out as good as they could have if they were properly prioritized.

I see the majority of these threads you start, they are about: girls, women, finding a wife, or not being satisfied as a single man -- these things are all secondary to God and His only begotten Son. --

Seek first the kingdom of God and His will - not your own.

Yes, yes, a thousand yeses. Exactly what I've been trying to say, but apparently you worded it better
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/19567-desiring-christ-above-human-partner.html#post630770

Anyway, it looks like I got my answer...

Matthew 6:33: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Putting God first above looking for a girlfriend.

and

Keep doing what I'm doing to look for a wife. Basically trusting Jesus for the social skills, boldness, words to say the girls, and keep going to church events where the girls are.

Anyway, can I get any confirmation on this.

This is what I was trying to say in my other post here:
http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/36727-where-girls-post626148.html#post626148
But here's the thing. It will be hard to know if you are seeking God first, for sure, instead of second, third, etc. So, ask Him to change your heart, help you to put Him first. He knows what's in your heart, and He can change it a lot easier than you can. So cast your cares on Him, and I don't just mean the lack of a gf, but the EXCESSIVE DESIRE for a gf as well. He can take it all. But you've got to give it to Him.

Good luck, you can PM me if you'd like further info or scriptural references.

(and yes, ladies, i know some women like video games, but the majority don't, so spare me the lecture).

But I LIKE to lecture you. Doesn't it matter what I want?
Seriously though, Ugly is right. Good stuff.

 

[honest01]

Have you commit it to God in prayer that you need a wife? If so, then not worry because God will show you your wife. Remember that God time is the best.I which to ask if you have friends who are girls?

 

[sammyb02]

I understand where you're coming from mate! I'm going through the same thing. You have to remember that it is all in God's timing, not yours. He has the perfect girl lined up for you at the perfect time.
Don't make my mistake and try and make someone that perfect girl.

Jeremiah 29 v 11

I need that tattooed to my head! The amount of times i forget how true it is. Trust God. It WILL be worth the wait.

 

[Ugly]

I'm not requiring that my future wife has to like video games, just accepting the fact that I play them is fine. Anime is kinda diffrent though.

As for the not wanting to wait on God. I have a theory that most of the people that are older that aren't married or really haven't even found a girlfriend are just waiting for God to just plop a girl on their lap(more or less) with a sign saying she's gonna be your wife - Love God. I know it's not that easy to find a wife, that's way I'm actively searching while God brings her my way. Basically, I don't wanna be waiting around for another 10-20 years, when it reality I could have had her in a year or 2.

Well, firstly that speculative and not founded in any sort of fact. You're making assumptions about people. Truth is you have no idea what any of these people are, or are not doing to change their marital situation. Saying this is just a way to make you feel better about your own situation.
But, even if people are waiting. So, whats the problem? People are waiting on God to provide. I find it odd that you take the idea that people are waiting on God's timing and for God to provide for them as some kind of negative. How often does it work out well when people take matters into their own hands, as opposed to waiting on God?

 

[dothackzero]

if you are seeking God first, for sure, instead of second, third, etc. So, ask Him to change your heart, help you to put Him first. He knows what's in your heart, and He can change it a lot easier than you can. So cast your cares on Him, and I don't just mean the lack of a gf, but the EXCESSIVE DESIRE for a gf as well. He can take it all. But you've got to give it to Him.

Yeah, it really starting to become that want for a wife is preventing me from finding a wife. Basically, It's becoming obvious that I need to put God first before looking for a wife. Anyway, I'm starting to ask God to help me put him 1st and looking for a wife 2nd and asking him to prepair me to be a good husband.

 

[PopClick]

Anyway, I'm starting to ask God to help me put him 1st and looking for a wife 2nd and asking him to prepair me to be a good husband.

Yay! I really like this statement a lot.

 

[Lunar]

I am not frustrated about it but this is my view on this topic:

That's awesome that you guys are thinking about this situation right now, to tell you the truth lately it has been crossing my mind and I have been telling myself it's all in God's timing but then a thought always hits me when I think about it you will never find that right person and I guess that's when the enemy gives me doubts that it won't happen. Life for me is as simple but I can make it complicated sometimes by overthinking too much and even if someone was interested in me I would think that he deserves soo much better (I always want what's best for someone whether it be friends or family). BUT one thing is True without a doubt that when I turn to His Word I feel comforted and at PEACE with my life and what I have. It's just this topic that's what comes up in my mind and I know I should not be thinking like that. However I haven't really thought about it until having a discussion with my friend last week and since I'm new here seeing this discussion here it kind of made me ponder about it again and let out my views.

Life is but a Journey and I thank God for the friends and family I have around me.

God Bless to you guys, gurls out there in finding the one but just

REMEMBER THE BEST GIFT EVER IS WE HAVE GOD AND WE ACKNOWLEDGE HIM IN OUR LIFE MAYBE NOT ALL THE TIME BUT WE ARE ONLY HUMAN AND HE KNOWS THAT AND HE STILL LOVES US REGARDLESS SOO UNCONDITIONAL HOW I LOVE THAT who knows when you least expect it, it might just happen.

Anyways PENPALS that is all I have to say KEEP SMILING and let Christ be known by all who meet you

What I believe is : 'Not What You Can Get Out of This World But What You Can Give To This World' probably that's why I don't think that much about getting a guy but I guess that's just my frame of mind I am in.

 

[Vandher]

Dot, you have to stop thinking about how to get a girl. The more you think about how you're supposed to do it, the more complex you will make it in your mind. If you like a girl just be nice to her and if she seems to like your being nice, ask her out. That's all there is to it.

Man I wish someone would have told me that years ago, I had relationships broken down into a science

 

[dothackzero]

Anyways, now I'm trying to focus on God, and asking him to perpair me to be a good husband. I've actually been listening to sermons marriage.

 

[JJAC]

It is extremely important to be patient
but for now try not to worry about then the next thing you know
You'll meet her
and pray to God about it
I'll be praying for you

 

[zeroturbulence]

God does not just give you a wife. If you want a wife you have to find yourself one. From all these threads, I see that your problem is that you are just too afraid to try. Stop worrying about being rejected or whether your words will make it or break it with a girl. Just start looking and take the blows as they come. An eagle can't learn how to fly until it has the courage to keep jumping and falling out of the nest until that day when its finally successful.