friends and suicide

[earp224]

I'm 13 and I have 2 friends from cadets that seemed depressed. My Ex girlfriend and a really good friend. I asked them what was wrong and they said they were talking about suicide and that i should leave them alone. Later on that night i tried to cheer them up but they just wouldn't get happy. I told them I knew how they felt (seeing as alot of bad things happened in my life and i too tried suicide a couple of years back). They told me their lives sucked more then mine ever would have and that i didn't know what it felt like.
OK so none of my friends at cadets are christian at all. I want to bring Christ into their lives so they will be happy and not want to kill themselves and to maybe deal with whatever caused them to feel that way better. I just don't know what to say to them or how to explain or what to say. Please I BEG somebody help me with this!! Tell me what to say or how to bring it up! I need this by this Tuesday so I hopefully can make things better.

 

[Hutchy]

I would advise saying what YOU want to after all they are your friends but please make it as soon as possible because say they do you might feel guilty for what happened. Just warning you

 

[TD14]

Best advice i have is this. Tell them exactly what's on your heart. Make sure they know that no matter what they can come to you. This is coming from someone who has been in that boat on both sides of it, thinking of it and dealing with someone thinking of it. The best advice i have is don't get confrontational with them, if they are like me my fight instinct kicks in and i won't listen to anyone. Instead come at them in a friendly way and if they say to stop or back off, do so and try again later or the next day after things have cooled down. It's amazing how much a persons mood can change especially in a day. I'm bipolar and on meds but my mood still changes from day to day and some days i will listen to no one and other days i'll listen to everyone. So jsut be friendly and use your head.

Ohhh i want to say this and some may bash me for it. Even if God comes into their life and they come to know him, that doesn't mean they are gonna automatically be happy. I first started turning to God in 2007. It's now 2012 and i'm still not happy all the time. To be honest i'm not happy much of the time. That' due to some phyhsical medical conditions along with my bipolar and addiction. What i'm trying to say though is it's great to get God in their life but don't expect quick changes and it takes time to untwist the mind when it's in that state. Really one of the best things outside of God would be if they got into counseling or found a trusted adult or maybe even someone who is 17 or 18 they could talk to about not just the suicide thoughts but life in general. That's what saved me from the toxicity of myself in 2007 i met someone who was willing to talk and listen. So anyways i hope this has helped some. Not really sure if it has but just giving input from my experience. I wish you and your friends the best and i truly hope they start to work towards feeling better rather then it getting worse. I do wanna say i think they are lucky to have a friend like you that cares about them, especially since you are only 13. Not knocking your age just saying most 13 year olds i know wouldn't be trying to figure out how to help someone with a problem of this scale. So i commend you for that.

 

[CatWoman]

I think you need to tell an adult, like a school counsler, a teacher or a parent. Better yet you might want to tell your parents and ask them for help.They can guide you on what to do. This is a real sirious thing . I had 3 suicides in my family. It affects you real hard when someone dies and it didnt have to be that way. You are only 13 . Thats too young to deal with a problem like this. I dont mean your immature, I mean legally you cant get your friends the help they need. Their parents have to be told so they can get them help. I think it would be best if they heard it from your parents with you by their side.Im sure your friends will at first hate you for this but they will get over it and know that you did it out of love.

 

[Canadian36]

People who are gonna commit suicide, who have the ----edited-----guts to do it, don't talk about it. They just snap and do it. So don't worry. Just keep them busy doing sports, trying new things, go to the mall, whatever. A month goes by they're all of sudden excited about something new in life. They'll forget all about this. So don't worry to much you're doing a great job.

 

[Lucy68]

I think it's impossible to know how serious someone is about suicide. It's safer to assume they really do mean it. They may not know themselves if they would actually do it. Either way it's a call for help.

You may be only 13 yrs old but my 10 yr old friend witnessed to me and brought me to Jesus. So you never know!

Telling them how much Jesus loves them might not mean very much to them right now....but having someone, like yourself, tell them how much YOU love them and would be really saddened by their suicide, would affect them. Deep despair can be overwhelming...but when someone, anyone, expresses love and concern, it can bring hope into someone's life.

Start with your own love for them and then as conversations increase, hopefully, you can help them to see the love of their Creator. It isn't easy. Our culture has so vilified the Christian message that it's extremely hard for people to listen to it. Starting with simple love, is a good place to begin.

Some other suggestions....get them out in nature, away from movies, tv, internet...for some reason the great outdoors can bring a Godly feeling. Helping others also makes people feel worthwhile. Interacting with animals is a kind of therapy (or just being around cats and dogs..especially kittens and puppies). Maybe this sounds corny but lots of times it's the simple things that will bring us the most pleasure.

I think one reason teenagers contemplate suicide is because they feel useless. There is a deep inner need in all of us to feel useful and needed. In a wealthy society such as ours, we really have to work at finding significance. But it is possible.

( How we spend our leisure time really does matter to our well-being. That's why I stopped watching TV in 1985....it seemed so irrelevant and a time-waster. And now I'm trying to wean myself off of internet news...or at least MAIL ONLINE from the UK. It deals mainly with the 'worst of humanity' stories and is just depressing me too much.)

I'll be praying you, little brother, and your friends. Be brave!

 

[Nattmaran]

I want to bring Christ into their lives so they will be happy and not want to kill themselves and to maybe deal with whatever caused them to feel that way better. I just don't know what to say to them or how to explain or what to say.

Okay... I have some experience with this...

First... if your friends are depressed and are thinking of killing themselves you should ask yourself why are they depressed and why do they find that death is the option. What is their story?

Second... If they arent christians do NOT try to save them and talk about God and by that stop them from killing themselves (I am not saying you should not talk about God and lead them to look for him but just not in this case). To your friends it will probably be that you are trying to push your ideals on them and that is not what they need right now (still... this is if they not are christians).

Third... the thing you need to do is to make them to talk...and you can listen. There is a story that should be heard and must be told... but that story must come from them... So... ask with them... talk with them... and listen... why are they so sad... why are they feeling that the world has nothing to offer them.

Do not preach...
Listen...