Flirting ;9

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MariusAlexander

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Flirting, the visual, corporal, verval and non verbal cues that portray our sentiments and intentions,

1. what's your opinion on pickup lines? I for one think they're useless and it's best to just start with something fun maybe playfull teasing.

2. The dreaded approach! When approaching somone that you like how do you deal with the jitters? xD
The nervousness and "I don't know what to say syndrome"?

3. The first five seconds, going by the first impression (visual) how can you sense/tell what kind of person someone is just by the initial five sec look?

4. The first five minutes! Getting to know someone by the first five minutes do you often conclude if real attraction is being built? going by the body language and the way people express themselves can you often tell wether or not you say "keep or pass"? What I mean sometimes some people are boring with their first impressions and its very hard to backtrack to the cool zone. Lol I think initial reaction say alot about a persons presence and personality.

5. Attraction~ things are going great and smooth but the all of a suden something breaks the "flow" can you be prepared for such moments? What are some witty and ingenious ways to "save" ourselves from the potholes of awkwardness and uncomfortable silences?

6. The next date! If all goes well, how you you set up the next date? Be creative!

7. The Digits ;) How do you usually pull the "can I get yo number?" Move and when?

8. The kiss ;* smooch on a first date? If all goes well xD or do you set boundries right off the bat?

9.Christian dating/courting most of all, how do you keep Godlyness in perspective as far as a date?

10. Funny flirting moments share them! :D
 
I don't really have to deal with most of that because i don't waste my time approaching dating in that manner. I notice a woman, for whatever reason. I may take some time to observe her, make sure there's nothing obviously wrong with her, or that would be a turn off. Then if i don't already know her i befriend her. And i don't rush this part. I build a strong foundation of friendship, and throw in a little extra. Like i'm not one to give a lot of compliments to friends, but with her i will let those flow more.. i let her know i'm willing to go out of my way for her... basically i try to treat her like a woman wants to be treated... eventually we form a romantic connection... and again, with no rush, i act on it.

Though online, its different, often times, the attractions i get online are not ones i predicted, but rather formed from getting along so well and chatting so much that it just forms romantic feelings.

So while its a slow process and not one i use a lot because i don't want to spend all that time on someone then just hop to the next, but reserve it for serious interests. But its effective.
 
I only flirt with women who know I don't mean it. For me it's more of a palling around joking thing. I enjoy making up cheesy, gag inducing lines.
 
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Ugly said:
I don't really have to deal with most of that because i don't waste my time approaching dating in that manner. I notice a woman, for whatever reason. I may take some time to observe her, make sure there's nothing obviously wrong with her, or that would be a turn off. Then if i don't already know her i befriend her. And i don't rush this part. I build a strong foundation of friendship, and throw in a little extra. Like i'm not one to give a lot of compliments to friends, but with her i will let those flow more.. i let her know i'm willing to go out of my way for her... basically i try to treat her like a woman wants to be treated... eventually we form a romantic connection... and again, with no rush, i act on it.

Though online, its different, often times, the attractions i get online are not ones i predicted, but rather formed from getting along so well and chatting so much that it just forms romantic feelings.

So while its a slow process and not one i use a lot because i don't want to spend all that time on someone then just hop to the next, but reserve it for serious interests. But its effective.
Click to expand...

Tooo long a process in my opinion, things dont sizzle if they sit still too long xD
 
How about you just be yourself and let go from there. No E-book can give you confidence. lol
 
MariusAlexander said:
Flirting, the visual, corporal, verval and non verbal cues that portray our sentiments and intentions,

1. what's your opinion on pickup lines? I for one think they're useless and it's best to just start with something fun maybe playfull teasing. Cheesy ones? No, unless you're a really funny guy who can pull it off as such. :) Funny and/or clever..absolutely :)

2. The dreaded approach! When approaching somone that you like how do you deal with the jitters? xD
The nervousness and "I don't know what to say syndrome"? Why not just ask her something you would ask a guy you just met for the first time?

3. The first five seconds, going by the first impression (visual) how can you sense/tell what kind of person someone is just by the initial five sec look? You definitely can if the reaction is a bad one :)

4. The first five minutes! Getting to know someone by the first five minutes do you often conclude if real attraction is being built? going by the body language and the way people express themselves can you often tell wether or not you say "keep or pass"? What I mean sometimes some people are boring with their first impressions and its very hard to backtrack to the cool zone. Lol I think initial reaction say alot about a persons presence and personality. This is where it gets shaky and a lot of misconceptions come into play. A quiet girl can be viewed as being "stuck up" for example. A girl who likes to dress up from time to time can be viewed as one who wouldn't like sports or outdoor activities. A woman carrying a gun/wearing a uniform can be mistaken for someone who is either gay or aggressive.:D

5. Attraction~ things are going great and smooth but the all of a suden something breaks the "flow" can you be prepared for such moments? What are some witty and ingenious ways to "save" ourselves from the potholes of awkwardness and uncomfortable silences?

Do/say something funny :)

(I think I may have told this once before, but it's still funny and relevant (AND TRUE), so I'm telling it again. :D)

Example: Shy, nervous girl on a date with an older guy in his pick up. He stops on the shoulder of the highway. Gets out. Walks around the truck. Opens her door. Looks down. Closes the door. Walks back around and gets back into the truck.

Girl smiles and asks what that was about. Guys says he just wanted to see if her dress was stuck in the door. Girl laughs, catches on, moves closer to him and starts talking more.

If you aren't that clever, just ask her a question about something just as you would if you were talking to a guy you didn't know well.

6. The next date! If all goes well, how you you set up the next date? Be creative!

Summertime: picnic

If it's cold: cook something for her

7. The Digits ;) How do you usually pull the "can I get yo number?" Move and when? Straight out tell her you enjoyed meeting her/talking with her and ask how best to contact her. And if you ASK, call the girl. If she gives you the digits, she'll be waiting for the call. Don't allow someone who made up some stupid rule about when you can call her dictate your terms. Be BOLD. Dial the digits :)

8. The kiss ;* smooch on a first date? If all goes well xD or do you set boundries right off the bat? Some do; some don't

9.Christian dating/courting most of all, how do you keep Godlyness in perspective as far as a date? Just by being respectful. If you can't say/do something in front of your gramma, don't say/do it in front of her.

10. Funny flirting moments share them! :D
Click to expand...

One of the funniest was a guy who sang this song to me:
Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs -Little Red Riding Hood - YouTube

It was very embarrassing, but I couldn't help laughing and finally did give him my phone number, because by the end of the song everyone was cheering him on. :)
 
Flirting, the visual, corporal, verval and non verbal cues that portray our sentiments and intentions,

1. what's your opinion on pickup lines? I for one think they're useless and it's best to just start with something fun maybe playfull teasing.*Cheesy ones? No, unless you're a really funny guy who can pull it off as such.**Funny and/or clever..absolutely*

I see you point but I'd say pickup lines are a no_no on the first impression, lots of times guys try to go for the "comic" personality and end up becoming a womans personal "make her laugh but no attraction monkey" that is if you over do it. (just my opinion)


2. The dreaded approach! When approaching somone that you like how do you deal with the jitters? xDThe nervousness and "I don't know what to say syndrome"?*Why not just ask her something you would ask a guy you just met for the first time?

Ummm sup dude where can I pick up some rad chicks? Lolololol xD

3. The first five seconds, going by the first impression (visual) how can you sense/tell what kind of person someone is just by the initial five sec look?*You definitely can if the reaction is a bad one

I think the way a man or woman presents themselves is a a good indication to what they feel durion the first five seconds, example if a guy goes to a "dressy" party (tux men, dress women) and all he's wearing is a polo and some Jeans and hides behind the friends he came in with is a sure way to gauge his confidence level. Just my opinion :p

*4. The first five minutes! Getting to know someone by the first five minutes do you often conclude if real attraction is being built? going by the body language and the way people express themselves can you often tell wether or not you say "keep or pass"? What I mean sometimes some people are boring with their first impressions and its very hard to backtrack to the cool zone. Lol I think initial reaction say alot about a persons presence and personality.*This is where it gets shaky and a lot of misconceptions come into play. A quiet girl can be viewed as being "stuck up" for example. A girl who likes to dress up from time to time can be viewed as one who wouldn't like sports or outdoor activities. A woman carrying a gun/wearing a uniform can be mistaken for someone who is either gay or aggressive

I agree, here's where lots of people would say its the inner personality and not how they present themselves what counts, lets be honest we all make a quick judgment based on appearance right away, now wether we dismiss it to give the person a chance is up to the individual.

5. Attraction~ things are going great and smooth but the all of a suden something breaks the "flow" can you be prepared for such moments? What are some witty and ingenious ways to "save" ourselves from the potholes of awkwardness and uncomfortable silences?*Do/say something funny**(I think I may have told this once before, but it's still funny and relevant (AND TRUE), so I'm telling it again.*)Example: Shy, nervous girl on a date with an older guy in his pick up. He stops on the shoulder of the highway. Gets out. Walks around the truck. Opens her door. Looks down. Closes the door. Walks back around and gets back into the truck.*Girl smiles and asks what that was about. Guys says he just wanted to see if her dress was stuck in the door. Girl laughs, catches on, moves closer to him and starts talking more.If you aren't that clever, just ask her a question about something just as you would if you were talking to a guy you didn't know well.


Playfull tesaing to indicate attraction or insinuate a "relaxed" mood is always a great ace under the sleeve xD

6. The next date! If all goes well, how you you set up the next date? Be creative!*Summertime: picnic If it's cold: cook something for her

Great suggestions! But the question was, how would you set up the next date?

*7. The Digits**How do you usually pull the "can I get yo number?" Move and when?*Straight out tell her you enjoyed meeting her/talking with her and ask how best to contact her. And if you ASK, call the girl. If she gives you the digits, she'll be waiting for the call. Don't allow someone who made up some stupid rule about when you can call her dictate your terms. Be BOLD. Dial the digits

You mean the three day rule? Yeah I ignore that one hahahahaha mind you its best not to call/text too much, a call here a text there is more than sufficient, leave em wanting more! ;) (plus dont want to come across as needy) lol I would get her number just before we parted, call her cell right in front of her, tell her to let it go to voicemail and I would say something like "had an awesome time, very fun girl! And very cute by the way, call me soon and take me out to dinner eh!! Oh and here's the sweet voice I'll be remembering tomorrow, then I would put my phone close to her face and tell her to say hi to herself!" Then next day when she checks it she'll remember how much fun she had with me and will be thinking about it all day ;) plus its fun to make her interact with her own voicemail xD

*8. The kiss ;* smooch on a first date? If all goes well xD or do you set boundries right off the bat?*Some do; some don't

If you did well and built enough attraction just maybe ;)

9.Christian dating/courting most of all, how do you keep Godlyness in perspective as far as a date?*Just by being respectful. If you can't say/do something in front of your gramma, don't say/do it in front of her.

Very true, but at the same time I'm not gonna treat her like nan nan lol This IS a date after all just me yhough xD

10. Funny flirting moments share them!*One of the funniest was a guy who sang this song to me:Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs -Little Red Riding Hood - YouTubeIt was very embarrassing, but I couldn't help laughing and finally did give him my phone number, because by the end of the song everyone was cheering him on.*

Heey sounds neat! I just might try it hahahahahahaha :D
 
MariusAlexander said:
Flirting, the visual, corporal, verval and non verbal cues that portray our sentiments and intentions,

1. what's your opinion on pickup lines? I for one think they're useless and it's best to just start with something fun maybe playfull teasing.
Make an impression. Most people probably can't make an impression using pick up lines. That said, there certainly are some who can. It WILL be awkward, but what do you do with the awkwardness? If you let it become creepy, that's bad! Of course it will also depend on the girl. So, unless you know her friends and can get their opinion, it's probably safest to steer clear of pick up lines, agreed.

2. The dreaded approach! When approaching somone that you like how do you deal with the jitters? xD
The nervousness and "I don't know what to say syndrome"?
I'm not really sure about that one. I was lucky enough to grow up surrounded by girls, so jitters don't really come up.

3. The first five seconds, going by the first impression (visual) how can you sense/tell what kind of person someone is just by the initial five sec look?
Getting psychological for a minute, prejudice is an inherent part of human behavior. It is a powerful tool, and yet one that is terribly destructive if used poorly. Complicating things further, there really isn't an easy way to tell someone how to do it well. It's something that some people are naturally gifted with, and something that others will struggle with forever. There are plenty of books out there that try and teach the ungifted some useful tips, but in the end I think many get frustrated. How can you tell... It's a combination of just about every visual and verbal que that exists. Take out even one of those and you're probably gonna be wrong.

4. The first five minutes! Getting to know someone by the first five minutes do you often conclude if real attraction is being built? going by the body language and the way people express themselves can you often tell wether or not you say "keep or pass"? What I mean sometimes some people are boring with their first impressions and its very hard to backtrack to the cool zone. Lol I think initial reaction say alot about a persons presence and personality.
No comment, "cool factor" has never been on my list of desirable traits.

5. Attraction~ things are going great and smooth but the all of a suden something breaks the "flow" can you be prepared for such moments? What are some witty and ingenious ways to "save" ourselves from the potholes of awkwardness and uncomfortable silences?
I think embracing them is key. If you've ever seen Hitch (though fictional), it does show some very real examples of what awkward moments can lead to. In a real, deep relationship, it isn't the perfect moments that most drive the relationship, but those imperfections. The little things that show us that the other really is human. And now I have a Brad Paisley song stuck in my head.

6. The next date! If all goes well, how you you set up the next date? Be creative!
No comment, though I agree with Jule's suggestion of cooking for her. It's easy to bring food up with "... yeah, I just bought some tbone steaks that I'd love to marinade; I can't eat all of it, would you like to come over, say saturday?

7. The Digits ;) How do you usually pull the "can I get yo number?" Move and when?
No comment


8. The kiss ;* smooch on a first date? If all goes well xD or do you set boundries right off the bat?
]Not to sound vulgar, but this is really something you have to play by feel. Probably not wise to do so in most cases of your style dating, but if you were dating someone you had known for a few months...whole different deal.

9.Christian dating/courting most of all, how do you keep Godlyness in perspective as far as a date?
This is a whole different, huge discussion item. Courting is absolutely nothing like what you have been asking questions about in the rest of this post. I'm not really sure that I'm familiar with the concept of "christian dating", but dating as a christian really encourages patience and, above all else, seeking Gods will instead of your own. It replaces many of the questions that you've asked above with really one question: how long will it take for God to show me His will. It isn't about "how do I impress her", or "does she measure up to what I want" or "what would be a great date idea"; it's about God and if/how you two can share your relationship with God, and strengthen it together. That said, I'm a strong supporter of courting, which makes all of the above more easier.

10. Funny flirting moments share them! :D
Click to expand...

Some thoughts above, hopefully helpful.
 
LightningClap0002 said:
Some thoughts above, hopefully helpful.
Click to expand...

very helpful insight , although the preemptive phsychological visual judgement on others appearance is mostly common when we're "on the look" scouting for a possible mate (pardon the term) so how would you say we as christians should ovrride that ancient biological instict of initial attraction based on physical appearance, with good moral view of any individual? I believe it's quite hard most of the time, by no means do I refer to the human race as superficial. (well at least not christians ):]
 
MariusAlexander said:
Tooo long a process in my opinion, things dont sizzle if they sit still too long xD
Click to expand...

I'm not looking for 'sizzle' i'm looking for character, and a true interest and commitment. If a person has to rush, then they aren't right for me. Also, worst case scenario, you don't gain a romance, but you gain a close friend.

Many people hop around from person to person dating and never really getting to know people. I find that a bit shallow. Not to mention you don't Really find out much about any one person. One of the closest relationships i had was with someone i thought i'd never think twice about, but i got to know them anyways, and almost missed out on knowing a great person.
 
Ugly said:
I'm not looking for 'sizzle' i'm looking for character, and a true interest and commitment. If a person has to rush, then they aren't right for me. Also, worst case scenario, you don't gain a romance, but you gain a close friend.

Many people hop around from person to person dating and never really getting to know people. I find that a bit shallow. Not to mention you don't Really find out much about any one person. One of the closest relationships i had was with someone i thought i'd never think twice about, but i got to know them anyways, and almost missed out on knowing a great person.
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I hear ya but how many close friends till you get the romance/commitment you're looking for? I mean NO disrespect but the bible doesn't say that God has some just for us that he'll bring to our door step, we definitely have to go out, look, and put some effort into finding that special somone.
 
MariusAlexander said:
I hear ya but how many close friends till you get the romance/commitment you're looking for? I mean NO disrespect but the bible doesn't say that God has some just for us that he'll bring to our door step, we definitely have to go out, look, and put some effort into finding that special somone.
Click to expand...

Ok first off I would like to say that the first thing you should be looking at is God... He needs to be your focus and desire first and always! Secondly, patients... I know that is the worst no one likes to hear it but it's true. You have to ask yourself do you want a relationship of your making or of God's? If you do it with God it takes a lot of the pressure off and you have someone to talk it over with. Tell Him what you want ask Him for advice.

As for the flirting... Just be yourself and if yourself isn't corny pick up lines that's ok. Be honest and true! Don't play games!!

Stop worrying about being perfect and doing things perfectly cause the fact is you are not perfect... No one is! And you want someone to like you for who you are the good and the bad. If you put up this illusion of who you are and she buys it well somewhere down the road the wall you have built will fall and then you have to do damage control and she may decide she doesn't like what she sees. Now wouldn't it have been easier to just let her decide from square one if she likes what she sees cause you are being the real you.

Oh my such a big topic! And I could say so much more but I won't :) I just want to leave you with this. Guard your heart. Make sure that God is always your number one cause He is the only one that will never let you down!
 
MariusAlexander said:
Flirting, the visual, corporal, verval and non verbal cues that portray our sentiments and intentions,

1. what's your opinion on pickup lines? I for one think they're useless and it's best to just start with something fun maybe playfull teasing.*Cheesy ones? No, unless you're a really funny guy who can pull it off as such.**Funny and/or clever..absolutely*

I see you point but I'd say pickup lines are a no_no on the first impression, lots of times guys try to go for the "comic" personality and end up becoming a womans personal "make her laugh but no attraction monkey" that is if you over do it. (just my opinion)


2. The dreaded approach! When approaching somone that you like how do you deal with the jitters? xDThe nervousness and "I don't know what to say syndrome"?*Why not just ask her something you would ask a guy you just met for the first time?

Ummm sup dude where can I pick up some rad chicks? Lolololol xD

3. The first five seconds, going by the first impression (visual) how can you sense/tell what kind of person someone is just by the initial five sec look?*You definitely can if the reaction is a bad one

I think the way a man or woman presents themselves is a a good indication to what they feel durion the first five seconds, example if a guy goes to a "dressy" party (tux men, dress women) and all he's wearing is a polo and some Jeans and hides behind the friends he came in with is a sure way to gauge his confidence level. Just my opinion :p

*4. The first five minutes! Getting to know someone by the first five minutes do you often conclude if real attraction is being built? going by the body language and the way people express themselves can you often tell wether or not you say "keep or pass"? What I mean sometimes some people are boring with their first impressions and its very hard to backtrack to the cool zone. Lol I think initial reaction say alot about a persons presence and personality.*This is where it gets shaky and a lot of misconceptions come into play. A quiet girl can be viewed as being "stuck up" for example. A girl who likes to dress up from time to time can be viewed as one who wouldn't like sports or outdoor activities. A woman carrying a gun/wearing a uniform can be mistaken for someone who is either gay or aggressive

I agree, here's where lots of people would say its the inner personality and not how they present themselves what counts, lets be honest we all make a quick judgment based on appearance right away, now wether we dismiss it to give the person a chance is up to the individual.

5. Attraction~ things are going great and smooth but the all of a suden something breaks the "flow" can you be prepared for such moments? What are some witty and ingenious ways to "save" ourselves from the potholes of awkwardness and uncomfortable silences?*Do/say something funny**(I think I may have told this once before, but it's still funny and relevant (AND TRUE), so I'm telling it again.*)Example: Shy, nervous girl on a date with an older guy in his pick up. He stops on the shoulder of the highway. Gets out. Walks around the truck. Opens her door. Looks down. Closes the door. Walks back around and gets back into the truck.*Girl smiles and asks what that was about. Guys says he just wanted to see if her dress was stuck in the door. Girl laughs, catches on, moves closer to him and starts talking more.If you aren't that clever, just ask her a question about something just as you would if you were talking to a guy you didn't know well.


Playfull tesaing to indicate attraction or insinuate a "relaxed" mood is always a great ace under the sleeve xD

6. The next date! If all goes well, how you you set up the next date? Be creative!*Summertime: picnic If it's cold: cook something for her

Great suggestions! But the question was, how would you set up the next date?

*7. The Digits**How do you usually pull the "can I get yo number?" Move and when?*Straight out tell her you enjoyed meeting her/talking with her and ask how best to contact her. And if you ASK, call the girl. If she gives you the digits, she'll be waiting for the call. Don't allow someone who made up some stupid rule about when you can call her dictate your terms. Be BOLD. Dial the digits

You mean the three day rule? Yeah I ignore that one hahahahaha mind you its best not to call/text too much, a call here a text there is more than sufficient, leave em wanting more! ;) (plus dont want to come across as needy) lol I would get her number just before we parted, call her cell right in front of her, tell her to let it go to voicemail and I would say something like "had an awesome time, very fun girl! And very cute by the way, call me soon and take me out to dinner eh!! Oh and here's the sweet voice I'll be remembering tomorrow, then I would put my phone close to her face and tell her to say hi to herself!" Then next day when she checks it she'll remember how much fun she had with me and will be thinking about it all day ;) plus its fun to make her interact with her own voicemail xD

*8. The kiss ;* smooch on a first date? If all goes well xD or do you set boundries right off the bat?*Some do; some don't

If you did well and built enough attraction just maybe ;)

9.Christian dating/courting most of all, how do you keep Godlyness in perspective as far as a date?*Just by being respectful. If you can't say/do something in front of your gramma, don't say/do it in front of her.

Very true, but at the same time I'm not gonna treat her like nan nan lol This IS a date after all just me yhough xD

10. Funny flirting moments share them!*One of the funniest was a guy who sang this song to me:Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs -Little Red Riding Hood - YouTubeIt was very embarrassing, but I couldn't help laughing and finally did give him my phone number, because by the end of the song everyone was cheering him on.*

Heey sounds neat! I just might try it hahahahahahaha :D
Click to expand...


I dunno...these are the sorts of things I've seen guys who see dating as a big keeping score thing do. It's cute and funny initially (which gets them a lot of dates), but it gets obnoxious after awhile (which is why they NEED a lot of dates).

And confident guys are confident no matter what they wear. It's the very essence of being confident, isn't it?
 
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Jullianna said:
I dunno...these are the sorts of things I've seen guys who see dating as a big keeping score thing do. It's cute and funny initially (which gets them a lot of dates), but it gets obnoxious after awhile (which is why they NEED a lot of dates).

And confident guys are confident no matter what they wear. It's the very essence of being confident, isn't it?
Click to expand...

I'm done keeping score, I've been fished out of water... xD I'm somone's special catch.
 
crazyindhaka said:
Ok first off I would like to say that the first thing you should be looking at is God... He needs to be your focus and desire first and always! Secondly, patients... I know that is the worst no one likes to hear it but it's true. You have to ask yourself do you want a relationship of your making or of God's? If you do it with God it takes a lot of the pressure off and you have someone to talk it over with. Tell Him what you want ask Him for advice.

As for the flirting... Just be yourself and if yourself isn't corny pick up lines that's ok. Be honest and true! Don't play games!!

Stop worrying about being perfect and doing things perfectly cause the fact is you are not perfect... No one is! And you want someone to like you for who you are the good and the bad. If you put up this illusion of who you are and she buys it well somewhere down the road the wall you have built will fall and then you have to do damage control and she may decide she doesn't like what she sees. Now wouldn't it have been easier to just let her decide from square one if she likes what she sees cause you are being the real you.

Oh my such a big topic! And I could say so much more but I won't :) I just want to leave you with this. Guard your heart. Make sure that God is always your number one cause He is the only one that will never let you down!
Click to expand...

what you said is assumed lol no damage control when there is real love
 
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