Touchy Subjects.

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Strong1

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I would love some wise advice from anyone who can give it.....
I want to talk to my husband about a touchy subject.
The subject makes me "Red" with anger. (Anger is something the Lord has probably had the hardest job to work on with me)
It's important enough that I should talk to him, but I don't know how to without getting upset.
How do I approach this?
 
Write a letter to him about it. And, if you feel like it would be better, have him write one in response. It won't be as off-the-cuff that way, and you can both see the other's side without coming up with immediate responses/retorts/replies.

My $.02 :D
 
Hi Strong 1. Hope this finds you well.
Spend a day taking stock, just by yourself, thinking over what you want to say in a reasoned, calm but succinct way. You should prepare to say what You want to say in the way You want to say it sitting with him where there is nothing that will distract from You!
At the end of the day he's your husband & this is the ingredient listed on the marriage tin called "in good times or bad".
Your husband should understand & accept that!
BW; J+
 
Just for what it's worth...I try to speak calmly and rationally, and also to use phrases like "when this happens I feel" rather than "you make me feel" , and "I hear you saying" rather than "you always say". Actually, I try to avoid "always/never".

As far as speaking about it without getting upset...God! Agree that spending time with Him in anticipation of, and especially JUST before the talk is wise. And the idea of setting aside a time when you will not be distracted or interrupted is also a great idea.

I believe the Lord knows your heart in this--that you want to speak to your husband in a respectful way, and honor God with your words and attitude. That's awesome, and I believe the Lord will honor those things in you. Submit the problem to Him (easily said, right?).
But I really appreciate your loving attitude in this. :)

May the Lord bless you (both) in this difficult endeavor!
 
I like to let my fists do the talking.










(ok, so not really, but I haven't been married long enough to give advice, however I would still like you to know that your plight has not gone unheard)
 
I just joined this forum for probably the same reasons the rest of you have. This is the first time I have ever joined a chat room I don't even do facebook.
I too am struggling with my marriage of 10 years over some touchy subjects. My husband is not saved and wasn't when I married him. This is not a good idea for anyone. When I try to talk to him about how his behavior makes me feel he is uninterested. He lacks the willingness to make any changes. A complete about face from when we first met. He shows more interest in and treats his friends better than he does me. I am just about give out. I am lonely, depressed, anxious, fearful...... I don't have anyone to really talk to. He is not interested in my day, my life. I have to fnd peace. Let me know your thoughts. Your prayers for him would be appreciated.
 
rainacorn said:
I like to let my fists do the talking







(ok, so not really, but I haven't been married long enough to give advice, however I would still like you to know that your plight has not gone unheard)
Click to expand...


Okay. It didnt go well at all. :o And my fist did do some talking........were definitely gonna need help with this one.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that, Strong1. :(

Please know you'll be in my prayers!
 
You could also start off by letting him know that it is something that upsets you, and ask him to have patience with you if you need to take a short time now and then to think of how to word yourself (that way you got time too, to make sure you don't say something you didn't intend to).

unequallyyoked: I am sure you didnt do it intending it, but it is not seen as polite to "steal" other peoples threads :) You can start your own and you will have replies there) (in the list of threads, just above it is a button with red lining.
 
Strong1 said:
Okay. It didnt go well at all. :o And my fist did do some talking........were definitely gonna need help with this one.
Click to expand...

marriage counseling is not a bad thing. sometimes they have tactics that really help.

my husband's mema and papa after 59 years went to marriage counsel and she said it helped them.

she said the most helpful thing the counsel had them do was list all the things the other person did for them and how they would miss them if they were gone.

Perhaps your problem isn't to the point of wanting to divorce but sometimes having a mediator helps you get past just being mad and angry.
 
uups, sorry, I missed that post, (computer is skipping)

will be praying for you
 
Strong1 said:
I would love some wise advice from anyone who can give it.....
I want to talk to my husband about a touchy subject.
The subject makes me "Red" with anger. (Anger is something the Lord has probably had the hardest job to work on with me)
It's important enough that I should talk to him, but I don't know how to without getting upset.
How do I approach this?
Click to expand...
IF IT IS ANGER AND IT IS LIKE A VOLCANO THIS MIGHT BE GETTING YOU A QUICK SET UP FOR DIVORCE COURT. THE HOLY SPIRIT GIVES US PEACE, ABOUT THINGS, IF YOU ARE ANGRY THIS IS NOT A FRUIT OF RIGHOUSNESS, IT SEEMS YOU HAVE BEEN LONG PAST ANGRY ABOUT IT WHEN THE SCRIPTURES SAY BE ANGRY AND SIN NOT NEITHER GIVE PLACE TO THE DEVIL, TO DROP IT BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN. BY NOW THERE ARE PROBABLY MANY RECORDINGS GOING ON WITH MANY WORDS. PRAY AND LET THE HOLY SPIRIT DO YOUR TALKING. THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS IS, WE ARE TO LOVE OUR HUSBANDS, AND NOT TAKE THE PLACE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT'S JOB. IT ALSO SAYS BE DISCREET ABOUT YOUR AFFAIRS. MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS, OR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK OF JESUS CHRIST, THIS IS THE REAL THING. GOD WILL HELP YOU, ASK HIM.:p
 
wwjd_kilden said:
You could also start off by letting him know that it is something that upsets you, and ask him to have patience with you if you need to take a short time now and then to think of how to word yourself (that way you got time too, to make sure you don't say something you didn't intend to).

unequallyyoked: I am sure you didnt do it intending it, but it is not seen as polite to "steal" other peoples threads :) You can start your own and you will have replies there) (in the list of threads, just above it is a button with red lining.
Click to expand...
I have never been on one of these sites. I did not know it was impolite. I was hoping the original poster would want to talk to me about this since my situation is similar.
 
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