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rainacorn
Guest
This is a terrible thread. What can come of it?
Making people feel like they haven't done anything wrong because others have done it too?
Making people feel like rape is 'premarital sex'? <-seriously what?!
Pointing out the hypocrisy of Christians?
I'm not sure what you're interested in finding out here, but there are probably more tactful ways to go about it.
Making people feel like they haven't done anything wrong because others have done it too?
Making people feel like rape is 'premarital sex'? <-seriously what?!
Pointing out the hypocrisy of Christians?
I'm not sure what you're interested in finding out here, but there are probably more tactful ways to go about it.
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Ugly
Guest
Thats a bit harsh reaction considering you don't know her true motivation. I read one of her other posts and think i somewhat get what shes after. While i will agree perhaps this wasn't the ideal way to go about it, finger pointing and accusing before finding out the reason for it wasn't the right way to go about things either.
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rainacorn
Guest
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KCat
Guest
I am sorry that some of you find this offensive. I am really having a hard time because I had kept myself from premarital sex... until I was 29. I had very high standards and I failed bad. I feel horrible and was wondering what percentage of Christians related to dealing with this sin while as a Christian. I never hear about Christians admitting to falling into this unless it leaks out in some taboo scandal. It's just not addressed honestly if it does happen. It's just like, if I could fall into it, is it more common than I thought? (I put the rape option because that doesn't count, in case that happened to someone. Sorry, it's offensive but it needed to be clear.)
Just wondering how many other Christians have actually dealt with this. Now, HOW does everyone heal their relationship with God is the next question I have. I just need some help here. Maybe this seems immature, but I honestly have nowhere to turn because I have not found a good church I can go to where I live.
Just wondering how many other Christians have actually dealt with this. Now, HOW does everyone heal their relationship with God is the next question I have. I just need some help here. Maybe this seems immature, but I honestly have nowhere to turn because I have not found a good church I can go to where I live.
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rainacorn
Guest
Accepting forgiveness is really hard, I think. Especially when you think one sin is above and beyond another sin.
I know when I came back to Christ, I knew in my head that I was forgiven, but I didn't want it. I felt like I deserved to be punished and so I punished myself by denying I was forgiven and wallowing in how I had offended God. "Sorry" just didn't cut it, so every time I attempted to hand it over to God, I would wrestle it back away from Him.
That went on for a while until one day it all just kinda hit me. I cried it out and allowed God to take it away and change my heart. Eventually, over time, I started to forget. Now I feel like it was forever ago... there's a massive distance between who I was without Him and who I have become with Him. Really though, it wasn't all that long ago at all. Just a handful of years.
Feeling shame and guilt are appropriate responses to sin. If you didn't feel that, you should be worried. You know you messed up and that's how it's supposed to be. Repenting isn't just saying you're sorry, it's turning away from it. Accept His love and forgiveness and don't look back.
I know when I came back to Christ, I knew in my head that I was forgiven, but I didn't want it. I felt like I deserved to be punished and so I punished myself by denying I was forgiven and wallowing in how I had offended God. "Sorry" just didn't cut it, so every time I attempted to hand it over to God, I would wrestle it back away from Him.
That went on for a while until one day it all just kinda hit me. I cried it out and allowed God to take it away and change my heart. Eventually, over time, I started to forget. Now I feel like it was forever ago... there's a massive distance between who I was without Him and who I have become with Him. Really though, it wasn't all that long ago at all. Just a handful of years.
Feeling shame and guilt are appropriate responses to sin. If you didn't feel that, you should be worried. You know you messed up and that's how it's supposed to be. Repenting isn't just saying you're sorry, it's turning away from it. Accept His love and forgiveness and don't look back.
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Ugly
Guest
Kat, spend more time sifting through these forums, there are all kinds of stories of people who failed in their walk in one way or another, including sexual purity. You're far from one of the few. If i told you some of the things i've done as a Christian, you'd feel a lot better over your one mistake.
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KCat
Guest
Thanks, guys. I am really asking God to help me see myself as He sees me again so I can live my life in a way that pleases Him. Today was really hard for some reason.
KCat, I hope I'm saying the right words here. I don't mean to say that premarital sex isn't a sin. But it's also not The Worst Sin Ever (trademark pending). All sins are equal in the sight of God in that they all do the same thing: separate you from him. It seems like these days, sins that somehow are related to sexuality (premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality, and so on) are elevated as "the big bad ones." What about pride, gluttony, wrath, mercilessness, boastfulness? Those can separate you from God just as bad as premarital sex. You may have committed a sin, but not the sin. With true repentance, God will forgive.
When I was engaged I didn't think about it in terms of "premarital or not." I also didn't care. This was the love of my life and the person that chose to be with me as much as I chose to be with her. We were committed to be together for the rest of our lives. There was no doubt, no hesitation and we didn't believe it was a sin. No one else was going to be my wife and I was never going to be anyone else's husband. The only thing we were waiting for was for me to be out of the military for an official ceremony.
Death has a way of changing everything. I was wrong to believe any of that.
Marriage is not a goal to be achieved. It is the beginning of a relationship's true intention. Its not settling down, its doubling up. I was wrong to believe that I needed a big production for everyone. It wasn't about everyone else, it was about being right with God in submission to His intentions.
Death has a way of changing everything. I was wrong to believe any of that.
Marriage is not a goal to be achieved. It is the beginning of a relationship's true intention. Its not settling down, its doubling up. I was wrong to believe that I needed a big production for everyone. It wasn't about everyone else, it was about being right with God in submission to His intentions.
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Emmie
Guest
This is correct. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out what was acceptable and what was not. In the end I've decided none of it is okay and myself and my bf have decided to stop everything and wait for marriage.
I struggled for a long long time accepting forgiveness. I truly was and still am sorry for my actions. It is incredibly difficult to give up being so intimate with someone I love as I've grown up outside of Christianity and was never aware what I was doing was wrong.
The guilt would eat me up. One day I heard my pastor talking about how God forgives those who are truly sorry for their actions. I spoke to him afterwards and all I could do was cry. He knew there was something holding me back from releasing myself. We prayed. I felt so much better
I won't lie. I often still find myself feeling guilty about it. Perhaps because I feel like I manipulated my boyf into something I knew he felt so strongly about. What we focus on now us being strong together and setting it right.