So how do I interact with people when I very little in common with them?

[dothackzero]

Btw, I also need help with basic social skills too.

 

[CatWoman]

I took a dale carnegie class. And carnigie beleives we have more in common with people than differances. I think its true. You may want to read his books.

 

[eugenius]

You look for things that you have in common with people. Just say, I like this video game, or this song, or this whatever, and ask the other person what they think.

By the way, if you are talking about girls, as I suspect you are, because I just know you well enough after so many years. If the girl has nothing in common with you, its not going to work. Its as simple as that. Many marriages are based only on sexual attraction, and many marriages end in divorce.

 

[dothackzero]

You look for things that you have in common with people. Just say, I like this video game, or this song, or this whatever, and ask the other person what they think.

By the way, if you are talking about girls, as I suspect you are, because I just know you well enough after so many years. If the girl has nothing in common with you, its not going to work. Its as simple as that. Many marriages are based only on sexual attraction, and many marriages end in divorce.

I was talking about both actually.

The thing is that even with video games I don't exactly play the most popular types of video games, while I play mostly JRPGs and Action/Adventure games most other people in the country are playing sports games or FPSers. Course I would play FPSers if could play with humans, but when I'm alone I mostly just play for the stories in the games.

As for the girls, I agree a marrige based on sexual attraction won't last. It needed to be Jesus centered for it to last. But yeah it still would be very hard for one to last without anything in common. The real probablem that I'm having other than the social skills is finding a cute girl that likes anime. I'm having no problems finding cute girls that love God, but I'm just not finding the one that Love God and anime(obviously not on the same level).

Btw, I do think physical attraction does need to be there. It's not the most important thing, but it does need to be there.

 

[dothackzero]

Just remember attraction is subjective from person to person. I what I don't find attractive probably is attractive to someone else.

 

[kayem77]

I've found that you don't need to have a lot of things in common with somebody to have a good conversation. Every person is wired with the same emotions as everyone, you just need to find what triggers those emotions and from there....let it be . A good way to find out is asking simple questions and being observant; f.e. if you see a guy with a Beatles' t-shirt you would assume that he likes the Beatles and that could be a chance to start a conversation.
Being that said you can't force a friendship and it would be frustrating trying to force a conversation all the time...conversations are good to find out if you are interested in gettin to know someone even more.

 

[CatWoman]

Hey guy, you have 70 friends on your profile here. You must know how to talk with people to get all those friends.

 

[BrittanyJones]

You don't have to have anything in common to interact and even to build friend relationships. Just ask people questions about themselves and what they are interested in, that's how you interact with people. Eventually, people start to ask you about yourself as well. Ding, you've just interacted.

 

[eugenius]

I was talking about both actually.

The thing is that even with video games I don't exactly play the most popular types of video games, while I play mostly JRPGs and Action/Adventure games most other people in the country are playing sports games or FPSers. Course I would play FPSers if could play with humans, but when I'm alone I mostly just play for the stories in the games.

As for the girls, I agree a marrige based on sexual attraction won't last. It needed to be Jesus centered for it to last. But yeah it still would be very hard for one to last without anything in common. The real probablem that I'm having other than the social skills is finding a cute girl that likes anime. I'm having no problems finding cute girls that love God, but I'm just not finding the one that Love God and anime(obviously not on the same level).

Btw, I do think physical attraction does need to be there. It's not the most important thing, but it does need to be there.

Hey man, there are plenty of cute geeky girls who like anime. Just take a look. Cough... Some I don't know if they are female or male or even human, and some are obviously gender confused, cough... but you get my point.

Why don't you dress up like your fav anime character and go to one of these conventions. If you have a really cool costume people will notice you and talk to you. I'm a geek myself, although I don't go to conventions. I do like anime though.

Hey, idea.... Dress up like that and go on CC chat. People will love you. LOL.

 

[SpaceCowboy]

Trial and error my friend. Find your niche and be you.

 

[rainacorn]

In regards to ladies, they don't need to like everything you like if they are open to checking out new things.

My husband is a manga fanatic, and I wasn't totally sure what that even was when I met him. I didn't actually read any of it until after we were married, but now I have favorites of my own. I assumed manga was just pervy comics for lonely nerds with a thing for Asian chicks and their panties. But I wasn't so stuck in that opinion that I refused to ever read any of it.

It went the other way, too. My husband thought pretty much everything I like is stupid, but he's given it a chance and now he kinda likes some of it (I suspect more than he lets on). When he makes references to Dr. Who, I absolutely swoon. He thought it was soooo dumb, but when he sees people rocking bluetooth ear pieces, he accuses them of being controlled by cybermen...and it makes me love him so hard!

As long as your hobbies are not the MOST IMPORTANT thing about you, you should be fine. Tastes and interests change over time and we grow as people. I would think someone who is willing to change and explore would be more appealing than someone who has it all figured out and will not bend.

 

[dothackzero]

Hey guy, you have 70 friends on your profile here. You must know how to talk with people to get all those friends.

Most of them are just random people that tried to friend and I didn't want to be inpolite.

 

[dothackzero]

Hey man, there are plenty of cute geeky girls who like anime. Just take a look. Cough... Some I don't know if they are female or male or even human, and some are obviously gender confused, cough... but you get my point.

Why don't you dress up like your fav anime character and go to one of these conventions. If you have a really cool costume people will notice you and talk to you. I'm a geek myself, although I don't go to conventions. I do like anime though.

Hey, idea.... Dress up like that and go on CC chat. People will love you. LOL.

I'm obvouisly geeky too, but I'm not the type to cosplay.

In regards to ladies, they don't need to like everything you like if they are open to checking out new things.

My husband is a manga fanatic, and I wasn't totally sure what that even was when I met him. I didn't actually read any of it until after we were married, but now I have favorites of my own. I assumed manga was just pervy comics for lonely nerds with a thing for Asian chicks and their panties. But I wasn't so stuck in that opinion that I refused to ever read any of it.

It went the other way, too. My husband thought pretty much everything I like is stupid, but he's given it a chance and now he kinda likes some of it (I suspect more than he lets on). When he makes references to Dr. Who, I absolutely swoon. He thought it was soooo dumb, but when he sees people rocking bluetooth ear pieces, he accuses them of being controlled by cybermen...and it makes me love him so hard!

As long as your hobbies are not the MOST IMPORTANT thing about you, you should be fine. Tastes and interests change over time and we grow as people. I would think someone who is willing to change and explore would be more appealing than someone who has it all figured out and will not bend.

I'm willing to try new things if a girl I like pushed me into it, I tend to be interested in most anything but I tend to focus on the few things I really like.

 

[lonewolf]

Maybe the problem isn't that they have little in common with you but its that you have little in common with them. Peace.

 

[CC_Bride]

Btw, I also need help with basic social skills too.

Join Toastmasters.... Its an organisation that helps you to improve communication skills, speaking, listening, body language etc. People use it to improve their careers but I know of a few people (incl myself) who did just to improve themselves..

You're never going to get it if you keep asking us for socialising help because in case you didn't noticed this is an online format and as much as we'd like to help we can't because we can't show you and showing someone is the only way to help which is why I recommended toastmasters.

 

[Gazza21]

Before I was a Christian, I probably only had 5 friends, all the other people I knew where just associates, I was a loner and liked my own space. I never went out or spent any time with people, sticking in my room playing video games all the time. The I became a Christian nearly five years ago and I prayed to God to provide me with friends, and He answered. I have over 50 really close friends now and am very sociable, a total transformation. So pray to God that He provides you with friends that do and don't share things in common with you.

Biblical speaking though, show people the love in 1 Corinthians 13 and they wont be able to get enough of you I mean, look at Jesus. He had not much humanly in common with people, not to mention spiritual. He was a rabbi, the Son of God, anointed, all powerful, all knowing etc. He loved them more than there differences. Because He showed them love, He became friends with them, He was the friend of sinners. So pray to become friends with the people that you do not have much in common with, but try to show people 1 Corinthians 13 love as well.

 

[adekruif]

Before I was a Christian, I probably only had 5 friends, all the other people I knew where just associates, I was a loner and liked my own space. I never went out or spent any time with people, sticking in my room playing video games all the time. The I became a Christian nearly five years ago and I prayed to God to provide me with friends, and He answered. I have over 50 really close friends now and am very sociable, a total transformation. So pray to God that He provides you with friends that do and don't share things in common with you.

Biblical speaking though, show people the love in 1 Corinthians 13 and they wont be able to get enough of you I mean, look at Jesus. He had not much humanly in common with people, not to mention spiritual. He was a rabbi, the Son of God, anointed, all powerful, all knowing etc. He loved them more than there differences. Because He showed them love, He became friends with them, He was the friend of sinners. So pray to become friends with the people that you do not have much in common with, but try to show people 1 Corinthians 13 love as well.

I had/having the same transformation after being saved....but Dot is already saved so talking about that isn't going to help him so i'll leave it there.

As far as advice, my only tidbit would be to ask people about themselves. People like to talk about themselves, so if you ask them questions they will most likely be glad to talk about it. The more you talk to people the more you understand, and you feel more comfortable at it too. Keep working at it, you'll get there!!!

 

[G4JC]

Btw, I also need help with basic social skills too.

Try a job in the customer service department. You'll get social skills really fast on top of getting your ear burned off... plenty of people to pray for!

 

[genipher_elizabeth]

Okay, I know how you feel. I've once lived in a place where all I did was sit at home, chat on cc, and play video games. I was a hermit. I had no real hobbies or interests and although I wanted friends, I wasn't willing to change myself to get them. When I finally did change, my whole world changed for the better.

My advice is this: put down the controller, get off cc, and get OUT. Create new hobbies. The more you like to do, the more you'll have in common with others. I used to think hiking was boring and pointless... Until I made myself go. Now I find it challenging and a great stress reliever! Plus, I meet a ton of people on the trails who I know I have at least one thing in common with--hiking. We'll talk about our favorite trails or our most challenging. Sometimes our conversations branch off into more (like traveling, back packing, camping, etc), but sometimes all we have in common are the trails. That's okay too. It was still an interesting spontaneous conversation that brightened my day.

All of my favorite hobbies I discovered on my own, but I'm now able to share them with the loads of friends I've made. Some of these hobbies/activities are:

Hiking, camping, hunting, horse back riding, floating, frolf, golf, softball, tennis, volleyball, swimming, drawing, writing, arts and crafts, gardening, cooking, people watching, various board gaming, reading, bocce ball, horse shoes, darts, traveling, driving, ghost towning, painting, playing (swinging at the park for instance), movies, roller blading, walking, jogging, working out in general... Seriously, the list goes on.

I love to just be doing things, so I found a ton of stuff that I love so I always have options! Most people reading this post will have at least one activity they enjoy that I've listed, so that's an awesome conversation point.

Otherwise the other "go to" conversation point is "what have you read lately?" Most people enjoy reading to some extent so if you're well read, talking books is EASY. Same goes for movies. So read up and get your conversation on! Best of luck to you.

 

[dothackzero]

So I'm curious, could not having good fellowship make it harder to fellowship with God?