B
ButterflyPrincess
Guest
God bless you,
If you're easily impressed I suggest not reading the foward text. This text is about my life, it's not a story, it's true.
Well, since I was a little child my parents were unfair with me and my younger brothers, they would treat myself differently. My parents were always very demanding and everything I did was never enough for them, they would also be demanding with my younger brothers but, they wouldn't appreciate all the things I did in the house. Like clean the house, tide some rooms, I used to do birthday cards for my relatives and stuff. I used to be really caring with my family. I really wanted my family to be happier. Cause my mother suffered from depression and she still is and she never hugged me or said "I love you" to me. But I used to want that from her. I remember crying in front of her and she was indiferent, cold and asking to me what happened to me and she didn't know it was her fault. My father also was a bit unloving. He never hugged me.
When I was a teenager my mother started cursing me for no reason. She just simply got mad and said "You're worth a ....." and stuff like that, I was like :O I can't believe my mother said that to me. Why is she so upset with me? Why does she hate me so much? Then sometimes she said you're s..t, worth for nothing, you don't do anything in this house. And I said, yes I study I help in the house. And she said well that's all. Then she humiliated me infront of my friend, she yelled at me and cursed me when I was with my friend for no reason, I was like what?? She also used to slapped me and pull my hair. I tried to get out but my father had to push her away from me. My father also slapped me and pounched me really hard.
Those things made me grow with trust issues and hate in my heart towards my family. I would go to the youth group and always pray for my family. I yearned for respect and I knew I couldn't find it in my house. I also knew I had to obey my parents no matter what. But It was hard and we argued once my mother left me out on the road outside the car walking she said "Now you go walking to the house". Then my hate grew bigger and bigger and I decided to pack my clothes and my savings and leave the house when I was 19. Then my parents found me. I did it many times though. I wanted to find a place where someone would take care for me and appreciate me at least once in my life.
When I was working at the pharmacy I did a mistake now I don't remember, but my parents got really mad at me and they started arguing with me, and then it got worse and my father started cursing really bad at me while pounching on my back and my arms. Obviously the door of the office was closed but the employees could hear everything that he did.
My father also started cursing at me when he got mad when I was late studying with my classmates.
Then at 21 I started to have a passion for missions and I was afraid to tell my parents cause I knew the wouldn't be supportive and finally I told them that I wanted to go on a mission trip and that I've been praying. They said it was "ok" and I was already really excited cause I knew I was going to go. And I sent some e-mails and then met some missionaries here at my city and I loved it. Then when I was packing to go, it was getting late, so my father is relly histerical and nervous like my mother, and started to freak out, and said, HURRY UP ! HURRY UP! and I was packing as fast as I could and then he said COME HERE! and then he started lecturing me and then he said YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING IN OUR HOUSE! and I said, yes I study. And he said THATS ALL YOU DO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU FINISH? BE A PROSTITUTE?
And I was in shock, that felt like he stabbed me into my heart with those words.
Then I said "No, why are you saying those things to me?" and he started pounching me hard, I covered my self but he pounched me on my back and arms and head. I cryed for him to stop but he kept for 5 minutes.
Then he said, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BRING PHOTOS OF OUR FAMILY TO THE TRIP, cause the mission trip asked me to bring some.
Then my mother didn't go to the airport to say goodbye and when I came back she didn't came to receive me either.
My grandmother was the only person who could understand me, I told her what my parents did to me and she was really sad about the whole situation, we used to do the devotional together. (She passed away in Feb, 2009.)
Then on 2010 I had bought a book for myself to read and she took it whiout telling me and she entered into my bedroom without asking (my room is the only private place I have). And then I asked her nicely to give me the book back cause I haven't read it. And she said -NO! , IM NOT GIVING YOU BACK THE BOOK! (shouting) She's nuts (by the way), and I tried to ask her again until, I was tired because she was treating me so bad, that I told her -If you don't give me MY book Im going to take it to my room. I said. And then she said shouting -WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TAKE THE BOOK? And I said -I bought the book, it's mine. So it took the book to my room, and she followed me running upstairs. And she said-GIVE ME THE BOOK!!! (shouting) And the started throwing some books at me. -GIVE ME THE BOOK!!! (She said while she started scratching my face) Then she grabbed me and pulled my hair and then I tried to get out, but then she grabbed my arm and BITED it for 5 min!!!!! It hurted a lot. And then my brothers came to my room and they didn't hep me, they said "mom stop!" and a minute later she stopped. My brohters could have taken her out of me, but they didn't. And they didnt take me to a hospital cause they knew my mother would be in trouble with the police and she could go in jail cause I was bleeding. I had my arm swollen for a month.
At that point I was really scared of my parents, I couldn't trust my family no more. When I came back from vacation I sent an e-mail to my mother's friends telling them the kind of person my mother really is and I also told some relatives. I said to my mother I was going to live on my own in an appartment cause waerlier we went to a therapist and I told him my parents were aggresive and he said all the members of the family wouldn't hurt anyone anymore, at least physically. And my mother broke that promise, she's crazy and I needed to go away from that place so I started living on my own. Then my parents did something horrible to me, the most horrible thing a parent can do to their child, besides raping them. My parents went to a psychiatrist and told him lies about me, that I was aggressive (?) and I the truth is I was ok in that appartment, well at least better than now with my parents, it's a living hell in my house. Then the psychiatrist made a conclusion about me without knowing me but guided with my parents lies (of course they didnt tell him my mother bited me, slapped me, pulled my hair, scratched my face and insulted me and my father punched me, slapped me and insulted me). So they decided to go to my appartment and lie to me saying that they knew how to heal me from my insuline resistence (cause two months earlier I was diagnosed with that and that got me depressed), and that they would take me to a hospital to find out for a cure. And I knew it sounded strange but I thought "No, my parents can´t do anything wrong to me now." And then I was happy in the car singing untill the car stopped and we got to a strange place where there was a policeman. I thought "Well, this is strange, how can there be a policeman in a hospital?, Also It doesn't look like a hospital, it looks more like a big house or something." And then I had a bad and horrible feeling that something really bad was going to happen to me, and I didn't know if I should run away but I knew that at that point, my parents had me there, so I had nowhere to scape. So, I got into the place and there was a woman who made me sign a paper, and stupid me! I didn't read the paper I just signed it! The woman was a bit shaking and looking at me with horror as if she was scared of what would happen to me, I could almost could hear "Don't do it" several times. I ignored the voice and signed the paper. That was the worst thing I could have done! My mother went to a room to talk with a psychiatrist telling her lies about me, that I was aggresive, and I don't know what else. Then I saw my father's face and he ignored me he looked angry (?) and I didn't know why? as like I did something wrong. Then I saw a lot of sad and poor people there, then I was like this is NOT a hospital, WHAT is this? I want to get OUT NOW! But I knew at that point my parents had set my up. Then when I entered to the psychiatrist's room she started accusing me as like I did something to my mother ??? And I immediatly said that my mother verbally and physically abused me over the years also my father. And she did nothing. My mother lied and said I scrached her arm. Then they said they would take care of me and stuff they say to the people who are mentally ill. And I was in totally shock and really angry at my parents for the set up: I couldn't believe my parents had set me up to take me into a mental hospital. It was too much to take at that point. And I said: "You have to believe me, please, my mother bited me this summer, I also took a picture of my arm bleeding but she erased it. Please my mother is not ok, my father is not ok too, he is supporting her and he is also an aggressive person." They didn't say anything. And I said "I need to go now" and the moment I tried to move away, some men grabbed me strongly and pulled me up like I was an inmate or something and very violenty they took me to a small room with no windows and then I also saw old women too, like mad nurses. I said "Please, why am I here? Please don't hurt me, I won't do anything to you. Please don't hurt me. It's ok." And one men took my pants off and then they stucked a syringe in my but really hard and it hurted. There was an old matress in the small room so I stood in the floor still. They put me some medicine to drug me so I couldn't scape. Then they left me there for 36hrs.
So it's by the grace of God that I didn't kill my parents, cause I thought of doing that many times for revenge. But I will let God judge them. If they don't want to realize what they have done to me, they will infront of God.
If you're easily impressed I suggest not reading the foward text. This text is about my life, it's not a story, it's true.
Well, since I was a little child my parents were unfair with me and my younger brothers, they would treat myself differently. My parents were always very demanding and everything I did was never enough for them, they would also be demanding with my younger brothers but, they wouldn't appreciate all the things I did in the house. Like clean the house, tide some rooms, I used to do birthday cards for my relatives and stuff. I used to be really caring with my family. I really wanted my family to be happier. Cause my mother suffered from depression and she still is and she never hugged me or said "I love you" to me. But I used to want that from her. I remember crying in front of her and she was indiferent, cold and asking to me what happened to me and she didn't know it was her fault. My father also was a bit unloving. He never hugged me.
When I was a teenager my mother started cursing me for no reason. She just simply got mad and said "You're worth a ....." and stuff like that, I was like :O I can't believe my mother said that to me. Why is she so upset with me? Why does she hate me so much? Then sometimes she said you're s..t, worth for nothing, you don't do anything in this house. And I said, yes I study I help in the house. And she said well that's all. Then she humiliated me infront of my friend, she yelled at me and cursed me when I was with my friend for no reason, I was like what?? She also used to slapped me and pull my hair. I tried to get out but my father had to push her away from me. My father also slapped me and pounched me really hard.
Those things made me grow with trust issues and hate in my heart towards my family. I would go to the youth group and always pray for my family. I yearned for respect and I knew I couldn't find it in my house. I also knew I had to obey my parents no matter what. But It was hard and we argued once my mother left me out on the road outside the car walking she said "Now you go walking to the house". Then my hate grew bigger and bigger and I decided to pack my clothes and my savings and leave the house when I was 19. Then my parents found me. I did it many times though. I wanted to find a place where someone would take care for me and appreciate me at least once in my life.
When I was working at the pharmacy I did a mistake now I don't remember, but my parents got really mad at me and they started arguing with me, and then it got worse and my father started cursing really bad at me while pounching on my back and my arms. Obviously the door of the office was closed but the employees could hear everything that he did.
My father also started cursing at me when he got mad when I was late studying with my classmates.
Then at 21 I started to have a passion for missions and I was afraid to tell my parents cause I knew the wouldn't be supportive and finally I told them that I wanted to go on a mission trip and that I've been praying. They said it was "ok" and I was already really excited cause I knew I was going to go. And I sent some e-mails and then met some missionaries here at my city and I loved it. Then when I was packing to go, it was getting late, so my father is relly histerical and nervous like my mother, and started to freak out, and said, HURRY UP ! HURRY UP! and I was packing as fast as I could and then he said COME HERE! and then he started lecturing me and then he said YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING IN OUR HOUSE! and I said, yes I study. And he said THATS ALL YOU DO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU FINISH? BE A PROSTITUTE?
And I was in shock, that felt like he stabbed me into my heart with those words.
Then I said "No, why are you saying those things to me?" and he started pounching me hard, I covered my self but he pounched me on my back and arms and head. I cryed for him to stop but he kept for 5 minutes.
Then he said, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BRING PHOTOS OF OUR FAMILY TO THE TRIP, cause the mission trip asked me to bring some.
Then my mother didn't go to the airport to say goodbye and when I came back she didn't came to receive me either.
My grandmother was the only person who could understand me, I told her what my parents did to me and she was really sad about the whole situation, we used to do the devotional together. (She passed away in Feb, 2009.)
Then on 2010 I had bought a book for myself to read and she took it whiout telling me and she entered into my bedroom without asking (my room is the only private place I have). And then I asked her nicely to give me the book back cause I haven't read it. And she said -NO! , IM NOT GIVING YOU BACK THE BOOK! (shouting) She's nuts (by the way), and I tried to ask her again until, I was tired because she was treating me so bad, that I told her -If you don't give me MY book Im going to take it to my room. I said. And then she said shouting -WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TAKE THE BOOK? And I said -I bought the book, it's mine. So it took the book to my room, and she followed me running upstairs. And she said-GIVE ME THE BOOK!!! (shouting) And the started throwing some books at me. -GIVE ME THE BOOK!!! (She said while she started scratching my face) Then she grabbed me and pulled my hair and then I tried to get out, but then she grabbed my arm and BITED it for 5 min!!!!! It hurted a lot. And then my brothers came to my room and they didn't hep me, they said "mom stop!" and a minute later she stopped. My brohters could have taken her out of me, but they didn't. And they didnt take me to a hospital cause they knew my mother would be in trouble with the police and she could go in jail cause I was bleeding. I had my arm swollen for a month.
At that point I was really scared of my parents, I couldn't trust my family no more. When I came back from vacation I sent an e-mail to my mother's friends telling them the kind of person my mother really is and I also told some relatives. I said to my mother I was going to live on my own in an appartment cause waerlier we went to a therapist and I told him my parents were aggresive and he said all the members of the family wouldn't hurt anyone anymore, at least physically. And my mother broke that promise, she's crazy and I needed to go away from that place so I started living on my own. Then my parents did something horrible to me, the most horrible thing a parent can do to their child, besides raping them. My parents went to a psychiatrist and told him lies about me, that I was aggressive (?) and I the truth is I was ok in that appartment, well at least better than now with my parents, it's a living hell in my house. Then the psychiatrist made a conclusion about me without knowing me but guided with my parents lies (of course they didnt tell him my mother bited me, slapped me, pulled my hair, scratched my face and insulted me and my father punched me, slapped me and insulted me). So they decided to go to my appartment and lie to me saying that they knew how to heal me from my insuline resistence (cause two months earlier I was diagnosed with that and that got me depressed), and that they would take me to a hospital to find out for a cure. And I knew it sounded strange but I thought "No, my parents can´t do anything wrong to me now." And then I was happy in the car singing untill the car stopped and we got to a strange place where there was a policeman. I thought "Well, this is strange, how can there be a policeman in a hospital?, Also It doesn't look like a hospital, it looks more like a big house or something." And then I had a bad and horrible feeling that something really bad was going to happen to me, and I didn't know if I should run away but I knew that at that point, my parents had me there, so I had nowhere to scape. So, I got into the place and there was a woman who made me sign a paper, and stupid me! I didn't read the paper I just signed it! The woman was a bit shaking and looking at me with horror as if she was scared of what would happen to me, I could almost could hear "Don't do it" several times. I ignored the voice and signed the paper. That was the worst thing I could have done! My mother went to a room to talk with a psychiatrist telling her lies about me, that I was aggresive, and I don't know what else. Then I saw my father's face and he ignored me he looked angry (?) and I didn't know why? as like I did something wrong. Then I saw a lot of sad and poor people there, then I was like this is NOT a hospital, WHAT is this? I want to get OUT NOW! But I knew at that point my parents had set my up. Then when I entered to the psychiatrist's room she started accusing me as like I did something to my mother ??? And I immediatly said that my mother verbally and physically abused me over the years also my father. And she did nothing. My mother lied and said I scrached her arm. Then they said they would take care of me and stuff they say to the people who are mentally ill. And I was in totally shock and really angry at my parents for the set up: I couldn't believe my parents had set me up to take me into a mental hospital. It was too much to take at that point. And I said: "You have to believe me, please, my mother bited me this summer, I also took a picture of my arm bleeding but she erased it. Please my mother is not ok, my father is not ok too, he is supporting her and he is also an aggressive person." They didn't say anything. And I said "I need to go now" and the moment I tried to move away, some men grabbed me strongly and pulled me up like I was an inmate or something and very violenty they took me to a small room with no windows and then I also saw old women too, like mad nurses. I said "Please, why am I here? Please don't hurt me, I won't do anything to you. Please don't hurt me. It's ok." And one men took my pants off and then they stucked a syringe in my but really hard and it hurted. There was an old matress in the small room so I stood in the floor still. They put me some medicine to drug me so I couldn't scape. Then they left me there for 36hrs.
So it's by the grace of God that I didn't kill my parents, cause I thought of doing that many times for revenge. But I will let God judge them. If they don't want to realize what they have done to me, they will infront of God.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. JESUS KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. HE SAID, HE'S NOT A HIGH PRIEST THAT ISN'T TOUCHED BY OUR INFIRMITIES. WONDER WHY GOD GAVE HIM. THIS IS WHY. JOHN 3:16 FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD. HE KNOWS ABOUT THE FALL OF MANKIND, AND IT'S ILLS. SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE, HAS A STORY TO TELL. NOW THAT YOUR A PART OF THE ROYAL FAMILY OF THE FATHER'S KINGDOM, YOU CAN LOOK AT YOURSELF THROUGH HIS EYES. I CAN SEE YOUR IDENTITY WITH GOD, YOU ARE COURAGOUS AND BOLD.