what would you do in the face of serious temptation?

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gardenbunny

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So, I am single(again), sometimes it's lonely, other times, I love it. I was raised to believe no sex before marriage. I mean it was drilled into my head, along with drinking and smoking(I've never been tempted with those though:).)
This guy who has been an off/on thing for awhile. He as 2 kids, but doesn't want to commit to anyone. But he offers so much temptation and isn't afraid to say it. Sometimes, he will text me these dirty messages and I have to just blush and ignore them. But oh my heavens, its getting hard.

Has anyone been in those situations, where you really want to give in, but you don't. How on earth do you get through them? I have to turn my phone off and pull out my scriptures sometimes. How do I just tell him to back off without ruining a friendship(during the off times)?

I think he doesn't want to commit because he has two kids he's been through the whole marriage thing now he just want "free milk" without all the strings attached.

Any advice would be much appreciated. :)
 
Get away. Seriously, do not sugarcoat or excuse things and do not play with fire. The Bible asks, "Can a man scoop burning coals into his lap and not get burned?" Flee sexual immorality. Tell the guy to stop sending such messages. If he continues, block his number. Do not play footsie with temptation. Seriously.
 
Ok well- kudos to you for resisting all those temptations for this many years...

However, no offense but, that situation seems really messed up.

If he doesn't ever want to commit, why are you ever "on" with him?
If he is blatantly trying to tempt you, why are you ever "on" with him?
And if he only finds value in your potential "free milk," why are you ever on with him?

Let me paint a little picture for you.
The man God has in store for you, won't TRY to tempt you- he'll try to help you avoid temptation as much as possible. He will willingly commit, and not periodically. He'll find value in your heart, mind, and relationship with God instead of your body. Wait for that guy. Thats the guy you want.


To answer your question, ya I've been tempted. I resist it by not talking to the tools who try to do it.
 
Tell him to stop because you don't like it and reiterate to him your stance regarding no sex before marriage. He should get the message. If he doesn't then he cares more about his own desires than he does about you.
 
Too right. I've been in a few situations like this and that is no way for any man to treat a lady. I've had to completely block them out of my life because I don't want to sell myself short to what God has planned for me. You need to love and respect yourself enough to know that you don't deserve to be mistreated as such. If you know it makes you feel uncomfortable then stand up for yourself.

A man will never seek to compromise your purity at any point, if he does he is not a man. If he spends more time on his Xbox than in God’s Word you should run from him, he is a boy who has the body of a man. There are lots of boys who expect you to make them sandwiches, but look for the man who opens your door when your hands are full.

If he is not comfortable talking to your father and your pastor you should not even give him the time of day. Trust me, I learned the hard way. If his pants are lower than yours, assume he doesn’t have a job; because he obviously doesn’t have the money to buy himself a belt. If you catch him flirting with another girl, disregard him. A man of God has eyes and time only for His Lord, he is set apart for the one woman who God has made for him. No man is greater than his prayer life, so if he is not comfortable praying with you and leading you as Christ led His Bride, he is not worth changing your last name.

These may seem like outlandishly high standards, but let me ask you a question. As God’s daughters, do we deserve any less?

I desire a warrior poet. And as Lecrae so delicately states it, “If he isn’t following Christ, he can’t lead you.”

And guess what, there are guys out there who fit the bill. But you won’t find these men seeking worldly pleasures. You will find them in church, you will find them serving God on the streets feeding the homeless, you will find them preaching to the lost. You will not find them at Hooters with their buddies.

For example: if you set a boundary of “no kissing until engagement” and a guy tries repeatedly to test you; he obviously doesn’t demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit„ self-control and patience. Therefore, if he doesn’t respect you enough as a sister in Christ and a daughter of the King, he is not going to love you the way you desire to be loved. What makes you think that a man who repeatedly tries to compromise your purity is going to be a good family leader and an example of exceptional masculinity to your daughters?

*Set your standards so high that he has to say “I had to seek God in order to find her, because her heart was so lost in God.” Because this man is going to be the man who will love you, lead you, help you, defend you, cherish you, adore you, provide for you and raise your future kids and teach them the way of Jesus.
 
If it is consensual and no-one is getting hurt then I say go for it. If you are both happy with the situation and feel it is right then go ahead and do what feels natural. Sex is enjoyable, fun, and (if you do it properly) safe. Good luck in whatever you choose.
 
RUN. Make a clean break. Don't ask him any questions or tell him anything. He'll only come up with excuses for his behavior that have been well rehearsed to make you feel guilty and sorry for him. He doesn't care about you and has no respect for you whatsoever. He's not your friend. He's using you and you can bet you're not the only one. He knows you're vulnerable and you are prey.
 
LordyBee said:
If it is consensual and no-one is getting hurt then I say go for it. If you are both happy with the situation and feel it is right then go ahead and do what feels natural. Sex is enjoyable, fun, and (if you do it properly) safe. Good luck in whatever you choose.
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They got on the wrong plane, Liamson :D
 

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Are you talking about me? I am not a troll. There was a thread that asked a question, people (including myself) gave answers. If my answer doesn't agree with yours then that isn't a big deal. Someone asked for advice, so I gave mine. There is nothing saying mine is better or should be followed, it is just there.
 
gardenbunny said:
So, I am single(again), sometimes it's lonely, other times, I love it. I was raised to believe no sex before marriage. I mean it was drilled into my head, along with drinking and smoking(I've never been tempted with those though:).)
This guy who has been an off/on thing for awhile. He as 2 kids, but doesn't want to commit to anyone. But he offers so much temptation and isn't afraid to say it. Sometimes, he will text me these dirty messages and I have to just blush and ignore them. But oh my heavens, its getting hard.

Has anyone been in those situations, where you really want to give in, but you don't. How on earth do you get through them? I have to turn my phone off and pull out my scriptures sometimes. How do I just tell him to back off without ruining a friendship(during the off times)?

I think he doesn't want to commit because he has two kids he's been through the whole marriage thing now he just want "free milk" without all the strings attached.

Any advice would be much appreciated. :)
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He's sending you these dirty text messages, doesnt want a commitment. What a douche

I'm just wondering why you would ignore these messages instead of stand up for what you believe in. He is not a friend, a friend wouldn't disrespect you in that way. And Your letting the temptation walk in your house and punch you in the face..
Flee woman... flee!
 
LordyBee said:
So, it's good advice right? Being safe, consensual, etc.
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Sure, if you're teaching a sex education class in the public schools where God is not allowed. Basically, your answer to the question "what would you do in the face of serious temptation" is "give in safely and consensually", which isn't what God says.
 
*facepalm*


Its not about Q and A sessions. Yes, she asked a question and indeed you answered it. If that was it, I wouldn't have a problem.

But being that your last post was your 6th post EVER. I'm going to assume that you are new and give you the benefit of the doubt.


Yes you gave advice, but that was not the end. You wanted validation for your advice. Which, you won't find here, specifically because the name of this website is christianchat.com. Validity to this or any question must have a foundation found in the Bible.
 
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