Prayer.. cuz suicide is on my mind..

livin4JC · Jun 19, 2012

Everyone has been through hardships. And I kind of thought like you in some ways. It seems like I knew the Lord because I could quote some scripture and I went to church, but its all wrong. God is a loving everlasting merciful God. BELIEVE IT. Its the truth. God wants you no matter how you feel or how you see yourself as. He is NOT just standing by and watching you suffer, he is up in heaven cheering you on. I know you can make it and so does God.

My mom had cancer and it got really bad. It is just as hard for the people around someone sick, then it is for the person who was sick. She had stage four cancer and should be dead right now. A lot of doctors are amazed she is alive and walking. She had cancer in her bones, on her brain, in a lot of different organs, and wrapped around her spine. You see, my mom being sick and my Dad at work made the us kids have to do a lot of work themselves. I was ten when she first got sick, but around 12 and 13 when she became paralyzed from the waist down. For that period of time, she couldn't get out of bed and walk. She eventually came through and walked again.

I took care of my younger sister a lot. Basically did a mom's job. Took care of her, took care of myself, took care of my mom, took care of the cleaning and dinner and packing lunches. It was hard and I troubled with depression. I even started drinking when I was 13 for a while. My older brother mainly took care of my mom cuz my Dad was at work so much and he would try to get a lot of homeschooling done later in the evenings. My brother is only two years older than me but him having to take care of my mom while dad was at work made his schooling be pushed off till towards the end of the day.

Faith = persistence. You can't have faith without willing to keep working and seeking God. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET. Words matter and that means you need to speak what you want. Say aloud I AM HEALED. I DON'T SUFFER FROM SUICIDE THOUGHTS. Say over and over and over and don't quit! Never ever ever quit! Believe it and make a conscious decision to believe that you are healed. Thank the Lord for your healing every day! It's been five years since my mom was first sick and she NEVER gave up. She spoke it every single day and still does. And now she's alive....and she can walk...and it's a GOD given miracle. There is one headed your way if you stay persistent.

One more thing.....God will use you. He uses the most unlikely people for the most unlikely jobs. He loves you so much! You are HIS kid and he does not want you to suffer. You might not believe it, but if you think it has been told to you a billion times, then that means it is TRUE! And don't take our word for it, keep seeking and you will find. The truth is in the sword, your bible. Read it every day. A lady once told me that God will pick you up and take you out of your hardships at the right time. YOU might feel it is the right time, but God doesn't run on our agenda, he runs on his own. He will help you and fill your heart with his grace, patience, mercy, peace, love, comfort, and more if you wait on his timing. He knows what is best and he'll do it when everybody around might think it is impossible for you to get out of this situation, so that when you are brought out of it, they KNOW it was a miracle form God.
You are in my prayers.

Avidan · Jun 19, 2012

livin4JC said:

Agreed, in Jesus Name, Amen.

I also magnify these words as a shield around livin4JC, as solemn warning to those reading:

Luk 17:1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!
Luk 17:2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Mat 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Mat 18:4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Mat 18:5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.
Mat 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Mat 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Mat 18:8 Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
Mat 18:9 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
Mat 18:10 Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

I strongly suggest to not agree with Satan and his words concerning this prophetess.

That means to speak life and to bless and to honor her. If you don't have anything good to say, keep your mouth sealed.

I bless livin4JC, in Jesus Name. May the Lord's Word through her convict the nations of sin and bring God's people to repentance. I bless her family and pray for their worship and prayer time together to be stronger than it ever has been. The LORD is her shield and her great reward. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

.

wanting2believe · Jun 20, 2012

livin4JC God bless you all I can say, I am glad that you have had so much blessings in your life.. Im happy for you ok.. and May God bless you with more wisdom and may He keep you in good paths.. You that since young have been with God again thank you and God bless OH AND PLEASE DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS ... I DONT NEED YOU TO READ THIS BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOU TO BE UM... INFLUENCED (YOU WONT i KNOW YOUR STRONG WITH GOD)

Avidan.. -.- so now you know what Ima say.. Ima ask you to keep your opinion to yourself.. see I told you.. who instigates.. YOU DO AVIDAN... Ima have to tell you not speak (write) for me.. since you are not me and barely understand me.. you need to keep your mouth sealed and keep those fingers of yours controlled man..because even tho you trying to act all high and mighty with your teachings cuz you "minister" You end up failing at compassion my man (oh but im not a mother, good cuz you wouldnt be a good one.. and your a father.. God bless you with that.. your a soldier? hmm you actually seen people die? shot in the face? or have you been in a V.A. with people coming back from the war? hmmm yes Im referring to your older post..) but look at me a sinner, has a bit more compassion then you.. Didnt you hear them tell me not to judge myself.. but then why do you judge me? Im not your brother... I actually dont want to do anything to do with you may God bless you thats all that matters...

Having a bit more knowledge does not give you any reason to instigate me. If you dont stop man, Ima have to tell RoboOp that your instigating and bothering me.. when I have honestly told you a few times to not write to me..

I dont want to hear your opinion no more.. because the way you are.. makes me act with attitude... I have not told off anybody like I have told you.. and Im honestly warning you to stop I dont need anymore stress and you get to my nerves man.. if you are a capable human being with some understanding and a bit of compassion. and if you "love" your fellow brother because if you have more knowledge then me then you bear fruit of having the decency to stop talking to me..in the name of Jesus... I dont need your opinion anymore.. You know who gives me the same opinion? But without your bad use of the word of God.. Everyone except you, so Im telling to stop bothering me.. I dont need your posts in my things.. IF YOU WANT TO MINISTER PEOPLE AND SOUND YOUR OPINION DO IT, BUT OWN YOUR OWN THREADS, HAVE THAT RESPECT..

There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise.

Ok mr wise guy? so stop bothering me.. NOW TO CLARIFY TO YOU .. IM NOT SAYING NO TO THE WORD OF GOD OK.. IM SAYING.. I DONT WANT YOU TO WRITE ME.. I DONT NEED YOU TO WRITE ME.. HONESTLY LETS KEEP IT PEACEFUL.. RESPECT THAT REQUEST.. IF YOU WANT TO BLESS SOMEONE AND GIVE PRAYER YOU CAN HONESTLY JUST SEND THEM A PRIVATE MESSAGE..

URIEL...

pickles · Jun 20, 2012

I continue to pray for you in Jesus, praising Jesus as well for you.
Because, in faith, I know and believe you will soon see and recieve the mirical you have hoped for in Jesus.
Soon, you will understand and know the rivers of overflowing waters in Jesus Christ is Lord come in the flesh.

In Jesus, God bless
pickles

Avidan · Jun 20, 2012

The LORD rebuke you Satan (not this young man, the LORD will Father Him if he continues to cling to Christ)
The Lord is my righteousness and my boast is solely in Him.
Let the Word of God increase and be magnified in this place.
I will live and declare the works of the Lord.
No evil shall befall me, no plague shall come near my dwelling.
Every tongue that rises up against me in judgement, I will condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD.
The LORD rises up against the wrath of my enemies. (Eph 6:12)
He breaks the teeth of the young lions and He crushes the heads of leviathan.
He breaks the proud boaster into pieces.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.
My God, my strength, the one in whom I trust.
My shield and the horn of my salvation.
I call upon the LORD who is worthy to be praised,
so shall I be saved from my enemies. (Eph 6:12)
The LORD discomfits my enemies (Eph 6:12) with His lightnings.
His voice sends forth hailstones and coals of fire and He scatters them with His arrows.
His kindness leads people to repentance.
Those who are friends with the world are enemies of God.
Those who believe on the Lord will not be ashamed.
Those who believe on the Lord will not be confounded.
No weapon formed against me will prosper.
I will live and declare the works of the Lord.
The Lord rebuke Satan.
The Lord has given me authority over all of the enemy (Eph 6:12)
The LORD crushes them under my feet. I cast them out like dirt in the streets.
I fan them and the blow away like chaff in the wind.
The LORD makes my feet like deers feet and He sets me in my high places.
I am seated in Heavenly places with Christ.
1000 may fall at my side and 10000 at my right hand,
but the plague, the terror, the desolation, and the arrow and the destruction at noon day,
it will not come near me.
The Lord give me power, love and a sound mind.
The rivers will not overflow me,
The fire will not burn me.
The LORD is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
The sun will not smite me by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD preserves my going out and coming in from this time forth and forever more.
The LORD answers me and honors me.
He hears my cry, it goes into His ears.
He hears my cry from His temple and He answers me and honors me.
Those who believe in Christ shall heal the sick, cleanse the leper, cast out demons and raise the dead.
The arrows of the LORD pierce my enemies (Eph 6:12) suddenly, and they will be wounded.
The rivers will not overflow me, the fire will not burn me.
The Lord is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
The LORD is my rock, He delivers me because He delights in me.
His gentleness makes me great.
The LORD causes me to strike my enemies (Eph 6:12) and to take their heads.
What is left of their armies is fed to the fowl.
God is for me, no enemy (Eph 6:12) can be against me.
I shall not die, I will live and declare the works of the LORD.
The LORD has made a diligent search for me.
He has found me, he drew me out of many waters.
He delivers me from my strong enemies (Eph 6:12), from them which hate me.
He delivers me from those who were to strong for me.
He causes me to prevail against them,
He makes my arms to bend a bow of bronze.
I magnify my God in the midst of their camps.
I magnify His word in the darkness.
He is my advocate and He stands in between me and the accuser.
He is strong through me even though I am so weak.
I thank my God even though death has compassed me about.
For I will not die, I will live and declare the works of the LORD.
No weapon formed against me will prosper.
The Lord is my shield, he compasses me about.
The Lord is my life, He is my righteousness.
Let the angel of the Lord chase and persecute my enemies (Eph 6:12)
Let them be confounded and dismayed.
Let my enemies (Eph 6:12) be consumed.
Let them be bound in Jesus Name.
Cast from me and never to return.
This land is mine and I take it for the Lord.
I institute His dominion here.
The Lord Jesus Christ reigns now and forever.
Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, Jesus Christ is Lord.
I loose peace and grace in Jesus Name.
Let both increase and multiply in Jesus Name.
Thank You Lord for Your help.
Thank You for even when I don't think I'm going to wake up in the morning.
Thank You for the good times and the really bad times.
Thank You for everything You do.
You are so wonderful to me.
I bless Your Name in this place.
I magnify You and honor you in this place.
I am nothing in without You.
Thank You so much for Your hand in my life.
For keeping me, saving me, for letting me see Your great deliverance.
Thank You for Your Word.
Thank You for the Holy Spirit.
Thank You Father!
Thank You for the comfort You give me and the hope You give me.
Thank You for the people who I get to see Your marvelous and great love work in.
Thank You whether I have a home or not.
Thank You whether I have plenty or little.
Thank You for showing Yourself strong.
I bless Your NAME! You live and reign forever.
My God is an all consuming fire, full of love and compassion, He holds me up when I am close to death.
When I am not wanted and hated and outcast by those around me, He holds me up and honors me.
How great are His works!
How great is His Name.
I will declare His name for ever.
I will dance before Him with everything that I can give.
I will praise Him before the believer and the non believer.
I will make my boast in His grace and in His Word, How He has made me skilled in His Word and freed me from the power of sin and death by the blood of His Son, and by the Sword He has given me.
My my God be magnified here, now and forever more.
He is worthy of all praise, glory, honor, and power. Let this be forever to His Name.
Jesus thank You for Your life and the joy You give me.
You are forever exalted and Your river of living water flows through me.
My enemies (Eph 6:12) flee as they see You in me.
They give me all that they have and say that they will always hit me back 10 times harder... but,
My God has overcome them.
They are cast out like dirt in the street.
I watch the wind blow them away.
My God is for me. I shall not die, I will live and declare the works of the LORD.

I am the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus, my LORD and savior.

Eph 6:12

Everyone keep praying.

poopsey · Jun 20, 2012

wanting2believe said:

Okay I`d have to ask you what is it that you want exactly

And I believe you are misinterpreting Avidan. He is trying to help you but you are refusing help.

How can anyone help you if you refuse help

So do you want actual tangible help or do you just want someone to listen to you and try to understand

If it is the latter then that is the first step but you still need to do something or else things will stay the same.

loveme1 · Jun 21, 2012

Just checking in on wanting2believe.

Hiya friend, hope you are okay?

Thinking about you and hoping you will keep fighting the good fight.

Prayed for you.

Peace and Blessing in the name of Yahvah God and Yahshua the Messiah.

wanting2believe · Jun 21, 2012

pickles
May Jesus bless you more for your prayer and may he find pleasure in your praise to him.
I will not be a tripping stone so if your faith assures you that it will happen then let it be done.
If I were to feel all that you described then I shall write it here so everyone may know.
In Jesus, God bless

poopsey
I dont like how he sometimes writes, especially when I feel he calling me a follower of the devil.. thats all.. I feel insulted.. simple. Other people have told me the same thing without making me feel insulted. (Example what he wrote the last post was cool, I never said I dont like to praise or raise the Lord.. yes at times I just want to because I just dont see the point but sometimes I do like to read it. and he actually clarified himself since the start and with that I didnt tell him anything) In the end he still follows God so God will bless him and so I dont hate him only get frustrated when I feel insulted by him.
What I want thats between me and my closest friend here in cc, in life and with God.. simple..
I have accepted their help and I have tried.. so after a while the "help" people offer me is heard and is thank for but I have done it so its not refusing.. Just know that what the most reasonable outcome is.. Tanglibe help? what is it that you mean? I just write to be heard.. not only by fellow Christians but by God.. thats all and its my way to output my feelings.
Ive done the first steps.. by works and by the little faith..

loveme1
Hello and thank you may God bless you with anything that your heart desires and may you never suffer pain
I am the same. If anything good was given to me by God and I do not know if it, then thanks be to God.
I wont deny that he deserves honor and glory.
I will not lie.. I actually have done nothing since I decided to do nothing anymore.. I just do my thing (Tho in the end I still follow a moralistic Christian life)
Thank again for your prayers
And peace be with you and blessings from the Highest and Lord.

poopsey · Jun 21, 2012

wanting2believe said:

Okay so it is none of my business what you want yet you come on here complaining. You just want to vent and be heard. That's nice but what changes?

Tangible help means something that will actually improve your situation. You can complain all day and night but if you do nothing you get nothing. I struggle with depression myself so I know how hard it is to get out of it but you just have to toughen up and do what you have to do and that is get your mind off of yourself and your troubles.

Christ is the Sabbath. You need to surrender to him and rest in him. Let him take that burden off your back.

Stop striving and just rest in Christ.

wanting2believe · Jun 21, 2012

Um... you do know that by writting the way you write I will listen to you less right? But Il try to look at it as a positive..
Yea I wont tell you because you have not earned enough trust..
Anyways.. at some point I guess so.. Yea it is nice to vent out and in a way have letters of what you write to God .. I know what changes? Right?

Tangible means something you can touch or concrete I know but I do not know what you mean with your phrase or opinion or help. Yea sometimes if you do nothing you get nothing.. sometimes you do alot and get nothing.. sometimes you do nothing and get alot..You struggle with depression what kind? Yes you must know yes I know Ive heard that before.. but toughen up doesnt work.. not for me.. I can be though all I want but in the end of the day is lie... Yes I do what I have to do too.. (yet if you have depression you must know that even if you try it still drags you down to a stand still) I do try to get my minds of things.. but in the end nothing seems to keep things of my mind.. cuz thats how much some things matter to me.. maybe to you it helped.. and if it did then you are blessed and for that Im happy for you.

I have both orally said, from the heart and from reading that I have given him all my burdens.. Yet see Im different... that doesnt take anything of my mind.. because since I dont feel or see my mind doesnt stop, my heart doesnt stop feeling.. and so hence it doesnt work..

I dont know how to rest in Christ I guess.. I dont honestly I dont.. if nothing happens.. I cant calm down.. simple.. What may work for you may not work for me.. We are not all the equally the same.. we are similar tho..
but still thank you and God bless

pickles · Jun 21, 2012

wanting2believe said:

pickles
May Jesus bless you more for your prayer and may he find pleasure in your praise to him.
I will not be a tripping stone so if your faith assures you that it will happen then let it be done.
If I were to feel all that you described then I shall write it here so everyone may know.
In Jesus, God bless

You wont be a tripping stone, for faith is in Jesus always.

I had a dream the other night, all was so real that I thought you had already posted a testamony about God's healing in Jesus and the joy of the Holy Spirit.
I then realised it was a dream telling what will be soon in Jesus Christ is Lord come in the flesh.

Even if I do not see it myself, I know that this was a promise for you.
I dont often have dreams like this, but when they happen, I know they come from Jesus.

You continue in my prayers in Jesus for all His whole healing, the faith you need, and the answer you will soon know, has already been spoken to.

In Jesus, God bless
pickles

chu_huifen · Jun 21, 2012

When I pray, I see you carried much load on your shoulder alone and I see your heart is bleeding, I don't know but I feel u hurt for many times and feel like nobody love you. He is the God who is investigate your self, He knows u more than your self and He wants to heal your heart first. Please tested this message. I know the feeling when I'm struggle so hard to keep God's standard and I'm failed for many times in the past, tired cause I don't see God in my life, I feel I carried much load on my back. And I know the answer, live by His Grace and Love, realize that u accepted and loved unconditionally.

Psalm 139
A David Psalm

1-6*GOD, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in!
7-12*Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
13-16*Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.
17-22*Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them— any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers—out of here!— all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations. See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies!
23-24*Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life. Isaiah 43:4

You're so precious and DADDY love you so don't think to suicide, He is already prepare the special and beautiful future for u. I pray u can meet Him and Let's He touch your heart. Gbu

poopsey · Jun 21, 2012

wanting2believe said:

Yes sometimes you can do something and get nothing back. Life is full of risks and not everything works out. Keep in mind the Devil wants to destroy you but God is the Great Redeemer and he is always redeeming situations even though you don't see it at the time.

Yes I do struggle with depression. I was in a very bad place about 2 years ago and was very close to ending it all. I still feel miserable at times and I am fighting it but it is not easy. I would say my depression is based on circumstances and what I have been through is not totally resolved yet and I am still waiting for God to work things out.

I was literally stuck in a rut so I had to force myself to work more on my business to get my mind off my problems and it was hard but it is working slowly. The more you dwell on what is wrong the more miserable you get. And some things you can't change so you need to wait on God and pray to him and ask for help all the time. But do change what you can and leave the rest up to God.

I would suggest you meditate on the Psalms and just pray to Christ and tell him how you feel and what you would like to change. Just confide in him. I've done this and it works but you have to keep on doing it.

And as for the toughen up? Well, I have not had an easy life and I am a fighter and that is how I have survived. Perhaps that is my disposition and the personality that God gave me. I can be overpowering at times but I am trying to help you.

shekaniah · Jun 21, 2012

I'm still praying for you...

In His Love, Shekaniah

wanting2believe · Jun 21, 2012

Thank you
pickles poopsey shekaniah
All I can say is thank you

dctalkjfreak · Jun 22, 2012

I do not know your situation, or what your pain is, or anything about what your going through. You have suffered too much to be wanting to end it all. Give it to God. I am telling you as a person who almost committed suicide, and it was not me who wanted to do it. It was something Evil inside of me telling me to Grab a knife and stab myself. Something was telling me "I will show you crazy" because my whole life I walked around wondering what was wrong with me. I had no reason to want to die, I was completely content in my life- I have a husband and 3 kids, I would never do that to them!

Im glad your reaching out for help before it gets out of control, and it is no longer in your hands. People who attempt suicide 9/10 times (Just my observation) do not remember the actual attempt. I believe that is a stronger force beyond our control. Please do not let it get that far. If you need medication, or to see a therapist, or whatever may help you, I urge you to get help! Maybe prayer is all you need, so my prayers sent your way!

dctalkjfreak · Jun 22, 2012

wanting2believe said:

lol

, "God is good" : DECODED!

wwjd_kilden · Jun 22, 2012

wanting2believe said:

A few weeks back I was thinking of this. People keep saying "cast your cares on the Lord", and then assume they will be history. Gone.

You have probably heard the parable of the footprints in the sand (if not, look it up)

The thing is, I think many tend to let Jesus/ God carry them, but even while doing so, they cling on to their own burden (so God carries you on his back, and you carry the burden on your back still). Maybe people do this mostly because they are so used to having to carry it alone.

So the really hard part, that sometimes seems impossible, is to remember that once God is carrying you, He is more than strong enough to carry your burdens too, He does not want you to hold on to them. So maybe the trick is "one step at the time", "one stone at the time"?

wanting2believe · Jun 22, 2012

see the thing that the things you talk about does not make sense to me? but still thank you and may God bless you.

pickles · Jun 23, 2012

Just wanted to say hi and I continue to pray and praise God for you in Jesus.

God bless
pickles

Prayer.. cuz suicide is on my mind..

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