We can always leave it up to Ugly to speak his mind. Still Ugly, it might have been a bit more helpful for you to give WarriorofChrist some advice after the criticism. Just saying.
Anyway Warrior, I work as a spiritual mentor for a few young adults that are stuck in some pretty vicious cycles of sin. Abusing drugs, anger fits, lust, you name it. This is what I tell them when they feel confused about forgiveness:
Basic steps: 1) Admit the sin to God; 2) Recognize Christ's sacrifice for our sin and that we are cleansed by it; 3) Accept the forgiveness; 4) Give God control and repent
God readily forgives His children. You need only ask Him. It seems like you are having a hard time accepting His forgiveness because you haven't forgiven yourself. When we are weighed down by guilt and disappointment, it becomes hard to approach God and we wonder, "God, will You really forgive me of this when I know what I am doing is wrong?" (God's answer is yes, of course, because He loves you so much!) When you pray, you need to accept the forgiveness that He is already holding out to you and believe in your heart that you've been forgiven, no matter how bad you feel. Like you said, the Holy Spirit is letting you know your actions are wrong, but don't let the feeling of guilt or shame from that sin make you unsure of how to ask God forgiveness or hesitant in any way. When we sin, God want us to go to Him
Another part of forgiveness, of course, is repentance. That's the hard part, especially for repeated sins. But remember, Christ is your strength. God is leading you every step of the way. Find a system that works for you and slowly break away from that sin. Use all that passion that you have for the Lord, and let Him turn you around!
1 John 1:9--"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Thank you for sharing what was on your heart! Praying for you. I hope this was helpful!
In Christ,
River