I just thought I'd share a little bit of my testimony. It's only a little,
because if I was to write my whole testimony, I could fill a book with it.
My sister actually wants me to do that but I prolly wont ever have the
patience. She thinks I have a powerful testimony. Aside from that, it is
incomplete. I am in a really bad place right now due to some choices I made
and am facing the biggest challenge of my life. Anyway, I thought I would
share my testimony on my experience with something I have gone through for
quite some time called sleep paralysis, and if I have room, some of my
dreams/nightmares. I could actually fill a book with just this small piece
of it truthfully, but I will make it as short and sweet as possible for the
forums. So here goes:
I dunno if anyone here is familiar with sleep paralysis. Medically they say
it is a phenomena caused by your brain waking up without your body, so you
are in a quasi-dream state. Those who experience it will all agree that
this is entirely untrue. You are fully awake during the experience and your
memory of it is crystal clear. If you can force yourself out of it (there
is a surefire way to do this), then there is no transition from quasi-dream
state to full wakefulness. The only thing that happens is that the
experience ends and you can move your body again, or you don't resist and
just close your eyes and allow yourself to fall back asleep.. Sleep studies
have proven that lucid dreamers that look at clocks in their dreams, can -
never- tell what time the clock says. During sleep paralysis, if you see a
clock, you know exactly what time it is. When you come out of the state and
look back at the clock, surprise, no more than a few seconds to a few
minutes have passed.
But when you wake up like this, you will find yourself unable to move your
body, although sometimes your eyes still work, allowing you to look around
the room. Needless to say, when you wake up like this (it can also happen
as you are falling asleep but this is rarer), it is terrifying in itself
not being able to move, regardless of the other things that can possibly,
and more than likely will happen. I'll touch on the other things as I tell
my story.
I first started having sleep paralysis around the age of ten. Well at least
that is when I could identify it as something that really happened to me
the night before when I got up the next day. It started out subtle at that
age. I would wake up paralyzed and overcome by terror. It's hard to explain
to someone who hasn't had it before, but those who have can "feel" the
malevolence from an intruder in the room with them. The atmosphere has a
thickness to it and it feel like gravity has been turned up to double.
Like many others I have read about, my paralysis started out mild as a kid.
I would wake up paralyzed and scared, but after a moment or two of
struggling, a calm would come over me and I instantly fell back asleep. As
a teenager, prolly 15-19, it got a little more intense and I found myself
struggling against it more and more. The calm wouldn't always come over me
at this point and it was either fight it or just lay there and take it
until it stopped. Well I always chose to fight it, and would eventually
break free from it. It's a weird sensation as you come out of it and the
heavy air is lifted off you.
In my 20's and up until now it has escalated to a whole new level. In my
early 20s, I discovered that the more I sought God, or the more I prayed,
or had other pray for me, the worse the attacks would be. The more I was
going to church, the more powerful the attacks would be. The less I did of
these things, and the more I sinned, oddly enough, they attacks would
diminish or go away completely. I found this to be a strange correlation -
my attacks and my religion. I put two and two together pretty easily and
realized what was happening to me. I never told anyone up until this year,
because up until this year I thought I was the only person who had
experienced this type of thing, and everyone would just think i was insane
or a liar.
The worst attack of my life was recently, about 4 months ago. As I got past
23 and 24 and in my mid to upper 20s, I would wake up in this state seeing
"shadows" in my room. They weren't shadows like a real shadow, because they
are so black that even if there is no light in the room, you can still see
their silouhette in contrast to the black room. Well first of all, I will
share that I was in a car accident over a year ago. It was my fault and a
friend of mine died as a result. This damaged me psychologically in ways I
never thought could happen, and after this time, this past year, the
attacks have been almost constant. I do not sleep at night now because of
them.
But this last attack was the worst because these things have never
approached me. In fact one time something off to a side of me I couldn't
see was preventing one from getting close to me. They even had a
conversation as I lied there unable to move a muscle. The one that was
helping me i couldn't hear, but felt what it said. I know that makes no
sense. But the malevolent one seemed to have a physical voice and it hissed
as it spoke.
Anyway, I woke up this last time paralyzed and was on my side. I couldn't
move but I could open my eyes and look around. I got the usual instant
dread sensation but didn't try and move yet because I didn't see anything.
I moved my eyes down enough to see my t.v. which was on, but I had it on
mute. As I looked back up, there it was. A black formless head eye level
with me looking at me from beside my bed. It was close enough to me to feel
my breath against it's face. Pure panic set in, as it usually does, but
this ws the first time one had been this close to me.
I struggled to move but couldn't. I already knew the solution to end the
experience as I had done it many times before, but for some reason I
couldn't think of the word I needed. All of a sudden this thing started
wailing this horrible noise. I can't explain it as anything I have ever
heard before, but you might compare it to what a banshee would sound like
if they were real and anything within earshot would drop dead instantly.
This entire experience lasted on about 20 seconds, but it then grabbed me,
still screaming, and pulled me from my body (for lack of a better
explanation). As I left my body, I didn't see where it had drug me, but
everything became black instantly. It had a hold of my throat and I could
no longer see it, but I knew it was still right in my face because the
scream was still going. I struggled against it again but still couldn't
move, and finally it hit me. The words I was looking for.
It's a simple prayer. Jesus help me please! I usually say it out of sheer
desperation, but every single time it has ended the experience. I felt
myself being sucked away from this thing as I spoke the prayer and then I
was back in my body and still in the same position I was when it began. I
could move now however. I thought this was crazy up until this year where I
found some websites with other people posting their own testimonies of it.
They all have been able to end the experience by saying Jesus' name.
So, call me crazy if you want, but I am convinced that this "medical
phenomena" is nothing short of full fledged demonic attack. Being able to
end the experience with 100% success every time by using the name of Jesus
is my proof of this, if not to others, then to myself. Jesus is real, and
so are the forces that work against him. I am living, breathing proof of
this. Also, I should have mentioned that these attacks only happen when I
am alone. If someone else is in the room with me, it never happens. There
is something to all of this. Even my psychiatrist said sleep paralysis has
not been studied enough to know what it really is, and was inclined to
believe herself that these are demonic attacks.
Anyway. That is one tiny piece of my story. If anyone else has ever
experienced these things, whether you believe it's psychological or not,
try giving Jesus a shout out next time it happens. Peace
because if I was to write my whole testimony, I could fill a book with it.
My sister actually wants me to do that but I prolly wont ever have the
patience. She thinks I have a powerful testimony. Aside from that, it is
incomplete. I am in a really bad place right now due to some choices I made
and am facing the biggest challenge of my life. Anyway, I thought I would
share my testimony on my experience with something I have gone through for
quite some time called sleep paralysis, and if I have room, some of my
dreams/nightmares. I could actually fill a book with just this small piece
of it truthfully, but I will make it as short and sweet as possible for the
forums. So here goes:
I dunno if anyone here is familiar with sleep paralysis. Medically they say
it is a phenomena caused by your brain waking up without your body, so you
are in a quasi-dream state. Those who experience it will all agree that
this is entirely untrue. You are fully awake during the experience and your
memory of it is crystal clear. If you can force yourself out of it (there
is a surefire way to do this), then there is no transition from quasi-dream
state to full wakefulness. The only thing that happens is that the
experience ends and you can move your body again, or you don't resist and
just close your eyes and allow yourself to fall back asleep.. Sleep studies
have proven that lucid dreamers that look at clocks in their dreams, can -
never- tell what time the clock says. During sleep paralysis, if you see a
clock, you know exactly what time it is. When you come out of the state and
look back at the clock, surprise, no more than a few seconds to a few
minutes have passed.
But when you wake up like this, you will find yourself unable to move your
body, although sometimes your eyes still work, allowing you to look around
the room. Needless to say, when you wake up like this (it can also happen
as you are falling asleep but this is rarer), it is terrifying in itself
not being able to move, regardless of the other things that can possibly,
and more than likely will happen. I'll touch on the other things as I tell
my story.
I first started having sleep paralysis around the age of ten. Well at least
that is when I could identify it as something that really happened to me
the night before when I got up the next day. It started out subtle at that
age. I would wake up paralyzed and overcome by terror. It's hard to explain
to someone who hasn't had it before, but those who have can "feel" the
malevolence from an intruder in the room with them. The atmosphere has a
thickness to it and it feel like gravity has been turned up to double.
Like many others I have read about, my paralysis started out mild as a kid.
I would wake up paralyzed and scared, but after a moment or two of
struggling, a calm would come over me and I instantly fell back asleep. As
a teenager, prolly 15-19, it got a little more intense and I found myself
struggling against it more and more. The calm wouldn't always come over me
at this point and it was either fight it or just lay there and take it
until it stopped. Well I always chose to fight it, and would eventually
break free from it. It's a weird sensation as you come out of it and the
heavy air is lifted off you.
In my 20's and up until now it has escalated to a whole new level. In my
early 20s, I discovered that the more I sought God, or the more I prayed,
or had other pray for me, the worse the attacks would be. The more I was
going to church, the more powerful the attacks would be. The less I did of
these things, and the more I sinned, oddly enough, they attacks would
diminish or go away completely. I found this to be a strange correlation -
my attacks and my religion. I put two and two together pretty easily and
realized what was happening to me. I never told anyone up until this year,
because up until this year I thought I was the only person who had
experienced this type of thing, and everyone would just think i was insane
or a liar.
The worst attack of my life was recently, about 4 months ago. As I got past
23 and 24 and in my mid to upper 20s, I would wake up in this state seeing
"shadows" in my room. They weren't shadows like a real shadow, because they
are so black that even if there is no light in the room, you can still see
their silouhette in contrast to the black room. Well first of all, I will
share that I was in a car accident over a year ago. It was my fault and a
friend of mine died as a result. This damaged me psychologically in ways I
never thought could happen, and after this time, this past year, the
attacks have been almost constant. I do not sleep at night now because of
them.
But this last attack was the worst because these things have never
approached me. In fact one time something off to a side of me I couldn't
see was preventing one from getting close to me. They even had a
conversation as I lied there unable to move a muscle. The one that was
helping me i couldn't hear, but felt what it said. I know that makes no
sense. But the malevolent one seemed to have a physical voice and it hissed
as it spoke.
Anyway, I woke up this last time paralyzed and was on my side. I couldn't
move but I could open my eyes and look around. I got the usual instant
dread sensation but didn't try and move yet because I didn't see anything.
I moved my eyes down enough to see my t.v. which was on, but I had it on
mute. As I looked back up, there it was. A black formless head eye level
with me looking at me from beside my bed. It was close enough to me to feel
my breath against it's face. Pure panic set in, as it usually does, but
this ws the first time one had been this close to me.
I struggled to move but couldn't. I already knew the solution to end the
experience as I had done it many times before, but for some reason I
couldn't think of the word I needed. All of a sudden this thing started
wailing this horrible noise. I can't explain it as anything I have ever
heard before, but you might compare it to what a banshee would sound like
if they were real and anything within earshot would drop dead instantly.
This entire experience lasted on about 20 seconds, but it then grabbed me,
still screaming, and pulled me from my body (for lack of a better
explanation). As I left my body, I didn't see where it had drug me, but
everything became black instantly. It had a hold of my throat and I could
no longer see it, but I knew it was still right in my face because the
scream was still going. I struggled against it again but still couldn't
move, and finally it hit me. The words I was looking for.
It's a simple prayer. Jesus help me please! I usually say it out of sheer
desperation, but every single time it has ended the experience. I felt
myself being sucked away from this thing as I spoke the prayer and then I
was back in my body and still in the same position I was when it began. I
could move now however. I thought this was crazy up until this year where I
found some websites with other people posting their own testimonies of it.
They all have been able to end the experience by saying Jesus' name.
So, call me crazy if you want, but I am convinced that this "medical
phenomena" is nothing short of full fledged demonic attack. Being able to
end the experience with 100% success every time by using the name of Jesus
is my proof of this, if not to others, then to myself. Jesus is real, and
so are the forces that work against him. I am living, breathing proof of
this. Also, I should have mentioned that these attacks only happen when I
am alone. If someone else is in the room with me, it never happens. There
is something to all of this. Even my psychiatrist said sleep paralysis has
not been studied enough to know what it really is, and was inclined to
believe herself that these are demonic attacks.
Anyway. That is one tiny piece of my story. If anyone else has ever
experienced these things, whether you believe it's psychological or not,
try giving Jesus a shout out next time it happens. Peace