To the first question she could: Show up. =)
I would respond by doing my best Nutcracker Ballet impression in circles around her. I would then build an arbor and another dance, perhaps like Michael Flatley.
I would hoist her upon my shoulder, like a sack of potatoes, and SPIIIINNNNNNNNN and then SPIINNNNNNNNN until we were both dizzy and then we would throw up in the bushes together. I would hold her hair and try not to throw up on the back of her head.
yeah, thats pretty much it right there.