What Do You Pray For Your Ex?

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chip

chip

Banned
#1
Aug 29, 2012
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#1
Do you feel compelled to pray for your ex? If so, then within what context are you praying?

For me, my ex-girlfriend left a lasting impression, to say the least. She took the end of our relationship far beyond just burning a bridge. And yes, I have often tried to think of why - she left me and yet treated the break up like I had abandoned her, in her nuking of me.

However, God seems to want me to be praying for her. And not just randomly, but regularly, multiple times a day! ARGH! I do not even want to remember her name, much less be in prayer for her! (Yes, I can say I have forgiven her but I have not forgotten.)

So, I know now, that she is a superb actress and never was a Christian. I can pray for that.
I know what her weaknesses are and failings are, and I can pray for those was well.
But, I find myself led to pray for her protection and for bizarreness that has come into her life (like she is borderline insane?). This is all in the Spirit sort of leading not based upon anything "I know" from others or would desire upon her.

I find myself praying for that protection but at the same time I am thinking to myself, "to what end?". And I feel like her problems are well earned. And even as I feel I am being forced to pray for her, she continues to wage a war against me in the valley I grew up in, and God is having me pray protection for her?!? This surely makes no sense to me.

Anyone else experience something similar or have words of wisdom here? Because I am questioning my sanity.....
 
error

error

Senior Member
#2
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
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#2
I don't pray for my ex :)
 
O

oracle2world

Guest
#3
#3
Listen to God. You are doing what He wants.
 
error

error

Senior Member
#4
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#4
Well, we also need to pray for our enemies :) Yes, that is not easy-but if God is leading you to pray for her-you have to. You might be the ONLY person who does that. :)
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#5
#5
I can't quite relate to the feeling compelled to pray bit, but i used prayer to get over much of my anger towards my ex.
By asking God to bless him, I eventually managed to catch myself thinking "I hope this- and that- happens" and telling myself "but you just asked God to bless him?...."

If you are able to do it in love, it is from God and you should do it.
If it makes you feel angry, maybe it is just you unconsciously reminder yourself of her, which would be a bad thing (for you).
However I think that to pray for people with good intent is good, even if there are other circumstances "intervening".
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#6
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
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0
#6
chip said:
Do you feel compelled to pray for your ex? If so, then within what context are you praying?

For me, my ex-girlfriend left a lasting impression, to say the least. She took the end of our relationship far beyond just burning a bridge. And yes, I have often tried to think of why - she left me and yet treated the break up like I had abandoned her, in her nuking of me.

However, God seems to want me to be praying for her. And not just randomly, but regularly, multiple times a day! ARGH! I do not even want to remember her name, much less be in prayer for her! (Yes, I can say I have forgiven her but I have not forgotten.)

So, I know now, that she is a superb actress and never was a Christian. I can pray for that.
I know what her weaknesses are and failings are, and I can pray for those was well.
But, I find myself led to pray for her protection and for bizarreness that has come into her life (like she is borderline insane?). This is all in the Spirit sort of leading not based upon anything "I know" from others or would desire upon her.

I find myself praying for that protection but at the same time I am thinking to myself, "to what end?". And I feel like her problems are well earned. And even as I feel I am being forced to pray for her, she continues to wage a war against me in the valley I grew up in, and God is having me pray protection for her?!? This surely makes no sense to me.

Anyone else experience something similar or have words of wisdom here? Because I am questioning my sanity.....
Click to expand...
God calls us to pray for those who hurt us. I don't think he's forcing you or coercing you to do anything. I think you're the one who's choosing to pray for her. At any rate, I pray for my ex from time to time, too. I like to pray that God will forgive me if I had left her with any ill feelings at the time of our parting. I pray that we will both have good lives and move on with our lives. And that's been largely true for me. I pray that she will be a changed person and that God will help us to make the right decisions in our lives.

Matthew 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Water under the bridge...
 
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chip

chip

Banned
#7
Aug 29, 2012
298
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#7
yeah, i agree, in my humanity - it would be turn and walk away.

and subconscious or not, it is true we are to pray for our enemies. though, i would not have thought/remembered that one on my own.
 
RickShafer

RickShafer

Banned
#8
Sep 8, 2012
4,367
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#8
It starts with forgiveness........always the hardest thing.
How about - "Lord Jesus, I forgive her, even though I don't want to, I do".
He'll provide the rest.
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#9
#9
When I broke up with my ex-fiance, the only way that I could forgive him and move on was to pray for him any time that I thought about him. (which was a whole lot in the beginning) It was definitely sort of like a "pray for your enemies" kind of thing. He hurt me very deeply and I was not really in a place spiritually to understand that it was God at work. The Holy Spirit did a lot of leading in my prayers that made absolutely no sense to me, like praying for him and his new wife. >_< But I recently learned, several years later, that he is now a born again Christian, goes to church, reads his bible, prays and he and his wife have a great relationship. So, you never know what it's for, but I am a firm believer that prayer changes things and people. Continue to let the Lord lead you by His spirit and trust that even though you may not understand, He sees it all and wants ALL to come to repentance and to know Him! He loves her and like a pp said, you may be the only one who is praying for her. ^_^
I hope that helped.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
Amen, Catlynn. :) Couldn't agree more.

Praying for those who hurt us is a huge part of the healing process for all concerned. What is really cool is when you pray for someone who hurt you and they not only come to know the Lord, but come to you flowing with love from Him. Few things have melted me more.


I do pray for those I've cared for (not a fan of calling someone an "ex"), especially for their safety and relationship with Christ when they come to mind. I'm not a fan of burning bridges if it can be helped at all..and with God all things are possible.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#11
#11
RickShafer said:
It starts with forgiveness........always the hardest thing.
How about - "Lord Jesus, I forgive her, even though I don't want to, I do".
He'll provide the rest.
Click to expand...

Rick, this reminds me of Mark 9:

23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

For me it's like saying...Lord..I forgive them. Help me mean it. The tongue holds the power of blessing and cursing. We need to take that a lot more seriously than we tend to, don't we?
 
L

lost1972

Banned
#13
Sep 13, 2012
619
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#13
well since I'm separated at the moment,not by my choice in any way, I thought I would put in my input, of course I pray for her and that she comes back home, and for the restoration of our marriage. I also pray for one of my childhood friends I grew up with, known her since she was five, it was never more then a crush, but she has made some serious attempts at suicide, so I've been witnessing to her on facebook a little bit at a time, I believe God is starting to work in her life and will life her out of this depression she's in. I'm praying also that she finds a new love in her life who will treat here with the dignity and kindness she needs. you never know what your prayers will do for someone,God is listening.
 
RickShafer

RickShafer

Banned
#14
Sep 8, 2012
4,367
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#14
It all comes down to love.
The power is His, if you decide to do it.
 
RickShafer

RickShafer

Banned
#15
Sep 8, 2012
4,367
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#15
Wow, I'm feeling the blessedness of His presence!
He who forgave me of so much.
What a particularly perfect Creator He is!
I mean, what Love He has bestowed on us, that when we
were 100% against Him He still came, and lived a perfect life, and gave Himself
for me His enemy!
I mean, you could have a creator be perfect and make the universe just right,
but to have the same one so gracious and full of Love.......
quick to mercy and full of Grace...........
It overwhelms my imagination even to think of it!
Wow!
Man, I can't believe He's so good...........
........I don't even have the faith to appreciate the fullness of His goodness!
My love ever to Him; ever to Him!!!
 
chip

chip

Banned
#16
Aug 29, 2012
298
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#16
i have to find my earlier prayer thread because i need to update it but i ended up in an almost all day meeting with my ex-pastor, in a discussion over the fallout of my ex-girlfriend and the sides taken in the church (unbelievable) - so i can update that.

so i mentioned that i had forgiven her, because God had forgiven me much, therefore i could no less in forgiving her. and, then i dropped the bomb that i have been praying daily, often times for her - and he was amazed. he could not believe someone whom had gone so far to nuke me, had me offed in my own church, and basically unfriended from all of those in my life (except 4) - could do this!

long story short, he went from someone whom had been my enemy to someone suddenly on my side and asking how he could pray as well in this matter ..... God Moment!
 
RickShafer

RickShafer

Banned
#17
Sep 8, 2012
4,367
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#17
Praise the Lord!!!
God did it!!!
(As He always does :)
Hey, I'm happy for you brother!
 
I

ilavjesus

Guest
#18
#18
im also in the same situation right now...its kinda hard,...but as christian we have to do it...he hurt me badly,cheated on me and was embarrassed infront of all our friends..full of rumors and backfights...
thanks to cc..all of the words above encourage me so much and reminded me of the secret of a healing process is to give it all to the Lord..that we cant do anything about it..not revenge but PRAYER....

Godbless...
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#19
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#19
A-ha ha ha ha, No...

I mean I just prefer never to think about it regardless
 
L

lost1972

Banned
#20
Sep 13, 2012
619
1
0
#20
Nautilus said:
A-ha ha ha ha, No...

I mean I just prefer never to think about it regardless
Click to expand...
those are the people who need yours prayers most, if you cared about them at one point, then they deserve a prayer sometimes, God doesn't just say pray for those you like,
 
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