Hi,
I'm having a really hard time right now and I need prayers. I've been really depressed before but somehow I managed to stand up again. College started near in the end of August and it's a complicated situation here in Canada but I had a whole week of important exams last week. Since the beginning school I haven't been sleeping well, my heart hurts literally and my whole body too. I'm always tired and well I have the whole package... I have been studying so hard and I prayed and prayed over and over again. I was so confident that this semester was going to be different from the last one (Last semester I was really depressed and failed most of my classes) I was doing my exams knowing that God was with me.
This week I learned that I had failed most of my exams except one. I'm grateful because so far I'm doing good in 3 classes but the other 3 are a little bit more though for me.
I didnt know how to feel about failing again. One moment I was crying and the other moment I was saying to myself '' you can't give up now'' And now I just feel like I'm dead inside. I'm so tired of that, I'm so tired of everything. Sometimes I'm so tired of living. And I feel like I'm such a disappointment. I feel like a failure in every single area of my life. The problem is not only school but that's just the straw that broke the camel's back (That's the only expression that I could find...)
I want to be a doctor in the military. That's not an option for me. God put that in my heart when I was very young. I won't give that up. But I'm failing and all I want to do right now is go in my room and never come out.
I can't even explain how lost I am. I don't know what God want me to do. I prayed and I prayed. I just don't know what's the next step right now. I just feel like I'm dead inside, I'm dying spiritually and I have no reason to live right now. There's nothing holding me. I feel so empty.
I'm having a really hard time right now and I need prayers. I've been really depressed before but somehow I managed to stand up again. College started near in the end of August and it's a complicated situation here in Canada but I had a whole week of important exams last week. Since the beginning school I haven't been sleeping well, my heart hurts literally and my whole body too. I'm always tired and well I have the whole package... I have been studying so hard and I prayed and prayed over and over again. I was so confident that this semester was going to be different from the last one (Last semester I was really depressed and failed most of my classes) I was doing my exams knowing that God was with me.
This week I learned that I had failed most of my exams except one. I'm grateful because so far I'm doing good in 3 classes but the other 3 are a little bit more though for me.
I didnt know how to feel about failing again. One moment I was crying and the other moment I was saying to myself '' you can't give up now'' And now I just feel like I'm dead inside. I'm so tired of that, I'm so tired of everything. Sometimes I'm so tired of living. And I feel like I'm such a disappointment. I feel like a failure in every single area of my life. The problem is not only school but that's just the straw that broke the camel's back (That's the only expression that I could find...)
I want to be a doctor in the military. That's not an option for me. God put that in my heart when I was very young. I won't give that up. But I'm failing and all I want to do right now is go in my room and never come out.
I can't even explain how lost I am. I don't know what God want me to do. I prayed and I prayed. I just don't know what's the next step right now. I just feel like I'm dead inside, I'm dying spiritually and I have no reason to live right now. There's nothing holding me. I feel so empty.