A friendly "undate"

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jordache
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Jordache

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I have a friend who is 17 yrs older than I am. He's an actor and gets invited to lots of events where he's suppose to bring a date. He's divorced and I'm mid divorce. Can I accompany him to say an awards show? Neither of us are looking to date. Boundaries are clear, but I like dressing up and he needs someone on his arm.
 
I think you'd be opening yourself up to a whole big can of worms given you're between situations.
 
Come on, how many women in this world can say that they got to go to an awards show with an actor as their date?? Go for it!! And in hollywood, the age difference and just friends part would seem normal.
 
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certainly it seems reasonable to go.
however, what will the appearance of you with him say?
gotta protect that testimony, no matter what....
 
I think some people are putting way too much thought into this. If the two of you are friends go for it. If people want to gossip, let them. IN the end you know it was fiends and nothing more.
 
I have already made sure he is aware that this would only be for very special occassions. I'm not going to just be his on hand undate. I don't foresee it to be a frequent thing. Frequent may make it complicated. He's a gentleman but certainly we will reconsider if other feelings get in the way.
 
Jordache said:
I have already made sure he is aware that this would only be for very special occassions. I'm not going to just be his on hand undate. I don't foresee it to be a frequent thing. Frequent may make it complicated. He's a gentleman but certainly we will reconsider if other feelings get in the way.
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Sounds about right to me.
 
Anything creative and professional you could be involved with, will help your own music ministry career. But make sure he understands, since you are "between situations". Be careful if he goes from friend to mentor, okay, but not further.
 
I agree that it would be fun if you were single and that the age difference is not a thing. But I agree with Stilly that still being married while dating or undating someone seems unwise.
 
Jordache said:
I have already made sure he is aware that this would only be for very special occassions. I'm not going to just be his on hand undate. I don't foresee it to be a frequent thing. Frequent may make it complicated. He's a gentleman but certainly we will reconsider if other feelings get in the way.
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He's an actor, and he's not gay, and he seems to be somewhat interested in you..

Hmm...you might just be sitting on a winning lottery ticket so to speak, unless of course you're not attracted to him or if he's just too old for you or you don't date actors or something.

Just making a friendly observation. :)
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with going. It's just friends, and divorced people can be friends with mid-divorced people, or with whatever your relationship status is.
 
Clearly the OP has a question about this in her own mind or she would not have brought it to the forum. From other threads, we know that she is involved in music ministry. We know that anytime we are involved in ministry, we are under extra scrutiny and must avoid every appearance of impropriety possible so as not to cause younger christians to stumble.

If the OP is mid-divorce, surely it won't be that long before the process is finalized and it would no longer be questionable. A thing may not always be exactly a wrong thing, but the timing of it and the effect it may have upon others can surely be. And we are to esteem others more highly than ourselves.
 
Jordache said:
I have already made sure he is aware that this would only be for very special occassions. I'm not going to just be his on hand undate. I don't foresee it to be a frequent thing. Frequent may make it complicated. He's a gentleman but certainly we will reconsider if other feelings get in the way.
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The fact that this has already progressed to multiple occasions before even the first "undate" ("It is the first, right?") makes me wonder with a raised eyebrow... Is this a good time for a red flag to go up? At what point did this become something [intended to be] other than "this one time"???

(Just making an observation...)

To you and him, it may very well be "just an 'undate' for this [just one?] occasion" -- but, to the rest of the world, it is without question or doubt "a date" (a "friendship date" perhaps, but still - nonetheless - "a date") -- just keep that in mind...

:)

.
 
Nautilus said:
its like guys and girls just cant be friends in this thread
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Sure they can... Just advising the girl to "be careful" and "consider all possibilities and consequences"... Would not want to see her "getting herself into a bad situation" or "getting hurt"...

:)

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