saying no

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Jullianna

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It was interesting to read in another thread about guys considering unwanted advances toward them or possibly feeling awkward if a woman they weren't interested in were to ask them out. This is exactly what women deal with all the time and, for women who really want to be considerate and polite, it's not easy. I'm curious to know how guys would handle it if the shoe was on the other foot, but I didn't want to interfere or derail the other thread. I think it would be very helpful to the ladies to know.

So, guys...if it happened, how would YOU handle it?
 
I would just tell her that I don't want to date anyone right now (its true). If I was dating, I' tell her that I really value her friendship and that I don't want to take a chance on ruining it (that's exactly what I had the pleasure of hearing more than once in this life).
 
I'd look at down my nose at them, and in my best self righteous, bellowing, blow hard fire and brimstone KJV ministers voice, point at her and yell... 'get thee away from me ye daughter of satan, you shall not corrupt me ye evil harlot!' And just glare at her til she walked away. :rolleyes:
 
Depends on the woman.


If she was totally awesome, I'd giggle like a school girl, then rush home and write about it in my diary.

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UNless im completely just negative towards the girl ill humor a date and see what kind of person she is. Not much harm in getting to know someone.
 
Nautilus said:
UNless im completely just negative towards the girl ill humor a date and see what kind of person she is. Not much harm in getting to know someone.
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I've done that a time or two just to be nice, but...in the end it seems like that only makes it worse and makes me feel like dirt :/
 
I think if you just be kind and open to them then they will see how much you care about them for who they are,such as offering to help them in anyway,or just having a good talk and being there for them,some people really need that in their lives,someone to be open with,because when two people are closer in some ways,then sadly,they cannont be so open and comfortable with eachother
 
I have a lot of experience in this arena since as I stated before I have multiple girls breaking down my door every weekend for a date. My current solution is pepper spray. However if things were to calm down, and certain someone at work (who am pretty sure actually does have the hots for me and I'm really not interested) asked me out, I'd probably tell her, no I'm not really interested right now. It's just not a good time, I'm sorry. Which at this point wouldn't be untrue.

and actually I'm in the process of growing out a full beard strictly to avoid such circumstances and detract women who would otherwise show an interest.
 
Men can actually tell women they are not interested with nothing more than their body language. (Don't give eye contact, don't aim your feet or body at her, etc.)

Link ---> How to Tell If a Man Likes You by Reading Body Language of a Man

If you are male and you don't like someone, read this list, and make sure you don't accidentally do any of these things. We'll get the hint.
Women are more sensitive to subtle signs like body language than men. Take advantage of that fact. :p Body language is often overlooked as a communication tool, but it's one of the most important (and least confrontational).

I knew when my ex crush didn't like me back (teenage years) because of how he avoided eye contact with me, and other subtle signs that told my gut no. It was quite obvious...
 
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Relena7, I disagree about the body language part of it. I may not have had many of the discussed situations. But when one interprets body language it is never 100% correct all time it is usually 50-50. So don't put too much trust in body language, besides if the person does not show eye contact, they may have autism and not saying that they are not interested in him or her.
 
thats kind of a big leap...'they arent making eye contact with me, must be autism"
 
willfollowsGod said:
Relena7, I disagree about the body language part of it. I may not have had many of the discussed situations. But when one interprets body language it is never 100% correct all time it is usually 50-50. So don't put too much trust in body language, besides if the person does not show eye contact, they may have autism and not saying that they are not interested in him or her.
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Haha no one says you have to agree with everything. It was just a suggestion that works for some people. :)

A huge part I left out was that it helps to know the person...to take in consideration if they are shy, or autistic (obviously), socially anxious, etc. I agree you can't always accurately tell from a first meeting what someones body language suggest. (The body language experts will disagree with your 50-50 statement, but they spend a lot more time studying that stuff than you and I do.) Also a large percentage of our interpretations are unconscious.
Can't argue with the mirror neurons.

Also if you followed any of my posts...you'd know I often try and stick up for the exceptions (rare peoples) points of view too.

BTW this guy was definitely not autistic. He got social cues and managed to get girlfriends...
 
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