How do you deal with major offences?

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Nest

Guest
#1
Ever get so offended, you try to forgive and you think youve forgiven but when the thought of the offence comes back, you begin to get angry? How do you deal with a major offence that cuts to the core? How do you forgive the right way?
 
H

Hava91

Guest
#2
Have you ever watched a movie ( forget the title >.<) about the shooting thyat happened in the amish school? I'm sure there are many versions but the one I watched had a character say something that hit me and has stuck with me. It was a parent of one of the children that died and she said, "Sometimes Iwake up and ask for forgivness, and then five minutes later I have to do it all over again..."

That is something I am too familiar with...I don't think that there is an easy way to forgive a serious offense, but that is one reason why God is here for us to turn to. Ask...then ask again, and again, and again....soon enough it becomes habit the moment you think of the offense, and soon after that it doesn't bother you too much anymore. =)

Hope that helps! I have many examples - If you want/need to hear any to help you out feel free to msg me. Maybe relating to one will help
Sorry for whatever happened
 
C

chuinchoy

Guest
#3
As human it is common not able to forgive completely, me included. But i must forgive because my lord tells me that i must forgive. Although it is very difficult, i started with a renounce prayer loudly, SO AND SO HAVE HURT ME, HOW IT HAPPEN AND FROM NOW ON I FORGIVE THAT PERSON IN THE NAME OF CHRIST, AMEN. In my experience when i said this, tears flows uncontrollably, and i cried. After that i felt very peaceful in my heart and as time gone by, i managed to forgive the person. You got to do it alone in locked room. Otherwise other might think that you are a freak.

Hope this helps. God Bless.
 

Twinkle77

Senior Member
Sep 1, 2012
357
5
18
#4
As human it is common not able to forgive completely, me included. But i must forgive because my lord tells me that i must forgive. Although it is very difficult, i started with a renounce prayer loudly, SO AND SO HAVE HURT ME, HOW IT HAPPEN AND FROM NOW ON I FORGIVE THAT PERSON IN THE NAME OF CHRIST, AMEN. In my experience when i said this, tears flows uncontrollably, and i cried. After that i felt very peaceful in my heart and as time gone by, i managed to forgive the person. You got to do it alone in locked room. Otherwise other might think that you are a freak.

Hope this helps. God Bless.
This sounds exactly like me. :D
I did the same and eventually God started to work in my heart because he saw the sincerity of wanting to forgive the person.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#5
I believe forgiveness is one aspect. We must, so we do, but dealing with our feelings is another. I've come to a conclusion in life, that "emotions" and "truth" have very little in common. Follow after truth.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#6
When you have forgiven in your will, God's power begins to work. Pray for them; the more it hurts to pray for them, the harder you pray. That makes the emotions go away.
 
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intercessorginger

Guest
#7
Forgiveness is very necessary...but not always very easy. Sometimes when a person sins against us it is so grevious, that forgiveness seems impossible. It probably is impossible without the Holy Spirit's help. This has been my experience and I hope it helps you.

I had to get to the point where I wanted...to want..to forgive. That's a pretty low place, but that's where I was. I had/have every right to be angry and the desire for revenge is pretty strong.The offense was deliberate and without remorse on the part of the offender. However, the Lord commands us to forgive, and I did want to obey the Lord in my heart. So God can work with you..if you truly desire to obey him.

That's all it took actually, because God honored my desire to do what was right. I was then able to forgive and the sin itself lost it's power to cause hurt ! When I think about it now( which is hardly ever), it's like a long ago memory and very far away. Almost like it never happened

Now the way I live is to forgive immediately when I am offended. I just say very simply "I forgive!" and you know..it works! I live very happy, and very free now and anyone can who wiill follow the scripture about forgiveness.

There is wonderful Power in Forgiveniess!
 
J

jkalyna

Guest
#8
As human it is common not able to forgive completely, me included. But i must forgive because my lord tells me that i must forgive. Although it is very difficult, i started with a renounce prayer loudly, SO AND SO HAVE HURT ME, HOW IT HAPPEN AND FROM NOW ON I FORGIVE THAT PERSON IN THE NAME OF CHRIST, AMEN. In my experience when i said this, tears flows uncontrollably, and i cried. After that i felt very peaceful in my heart and as time gone by, i managed to forgive the person. You got to do it alone in locked room. Otherwise other might think that you are a freak.

Hope this helps. God Bless.

I DO AGREE WITH THIS. THERE ARE ATTACHEMENTS THAT COME ALONG WITH THE OFFENSE FROM THE OFFENDER. THE OFFENDER PROBABLY HAS A LONG RAP SHEET, AND IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THE ENEMEY USES BOTH THE OFFENDER AND THE OFFENDED TO HIS DELIGHT, THE OFFENDED MIGHT BEAR A ROOT OF BITTERNESS THAT GROWS DAILY, THE LONGER THE UNFORGIVNESS THE HARDER BECAUSE A CALLOUS BECOMES OVER THE SCAR THE WOUND. THE OFFENDER BRINGS EVIL COMPANIONS ALONG WITH THE OFFENSE. IF THE OFFENDER IS AN ANGRY PERSON THAN MOST LIKELY THE OFFENDED WILL BECOME ENRAGED AND ANGRY IN RETALIATION, IF NOT A CHRISTIAN. THE SAME WITH THE OFFENDER BRINGING ON DEPRESSION TOWARDS THE OFFENDED, AS DEPRESSION IS THE ROOT OF THE OFFENDER. IT REALLY IS LIKE THIS IN THE KINGDOM OF EVIL. { IT SAYS WE FIGHT NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST POWERS, AND PRINCIPALITIES, AND WICKEDNESS IN HIGH PLACES. DON'T TRY TO TAKE ON AN EVIL ARMY OF DEMONS. THE FIRST THING IS TO RECONIZE WHERE THIS HAS COME FROM. KNOWING THIS IS A DEVICE FROM EVIL, IMMEDIATELY PRAYER AND TALK TO THE FATHER ABOUT IT, ASK HIM TO HELP YOU TO FORGIVE. IT'S LIKE A POISON, THAT NEEDS IMMEDIATE ATTENTION TO THE WOUND. WOUNDS CAN FESTER, AND INFECT, AND CONTAMINATE YOUR SPIRIT WIT UNFORGIVNESS WHICH IN TURN OPENS THE DOOR FOR SICKNESS. DON'T PLAY THE DEVILS GAME, KNOW WHO THIS HAS COME FROM AND IMMEDIATELY ADDRESS THIS WITH THE FATHER IN PRAYER. I FOUND THAT DURING CERTAIN SEASONS, LIKE EASTER, CHRISTMAS AND EVEN THE WICKED DAY OF OCT. 31 PROBLEMS, OFFENSES SEEM TO RISE THEIR UGLY DEMONIC HEADS.
 
A

Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#9
one way people describe unforgiveness is : its like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die from it

i've also heard: They took that moment of my life, i don't plan to give them a single more.

These things help me when i'm feeling bad things towards people. ^_^
 
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AgapeSpiritEyes

Guest
#10
Just Look long and with all you heart at the CROSS then ask for help, Holy Spirit,Jesus help me allowing myself to let this hurt go to the CROSS
place your hand on your heart and allow the hurt anger pain to leave and allow yourself to feel it leave you as if it is like water flowing out of you
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
70
48
#11
Ever get so offended, you try to forgive and you think youve forgiven but when the thought of the offence comes back, you begin to get angry? How do you deal with a major offence that cuts to the core? How do you forgive the right way?
Four things i do, that helps me to love those who are very difficult to love.

1) realize the Jesus my Lord and Savior went to the cross for that person too, that Jesus loves that person
2) realize the way i feel towards that person is the way i feel toward Christ. (Matthew 25:31-46)
3) i feel pity for them, knowing that if they do not change, they will not get to go to Heaven.
4) i pray for them, that God will enter into their hearts and change them to the Truth and the light.

when i do these four things, i find it very difficult not to forgive them. Jesus loves them and died for them that person, i likewise should love and even be willing to die for that person as well. How i treat others is how i treat Christ, for it is written When i do it not to the least of these, i do it not to Christ, and i feel sorry for them knowing that if they do not find the love of Christ they will forever be expelled from Heaven, it is hard for me to hate someone who i feel sorry for, then i pray for them, that they may receive the love of Christ into their hearts even as i have, that the Lord would guide that person to Himself, that he/she may go to Heaven with me.

another thing i do, that helps me forgive people, is i try to understand the why they did what they did. For example, i'm driving and someone who apparently is in a very big hurry rides my bumper, and as soon as he can, he passes me very quickly giving me a dirty look. my first thought that comes to me, is "i hope a cop pulls him over and gives him a ticket" immediately i realize that is my flesh talking and not the Spirit of God. So i think "i don't know why he is going that fast, maybe he is on the way to the hospital because someone he loves got hurt" i am then able to forgive him, and i say "Hope you make it there safely buddy" or maybe say a little prayer for him, that he doesn't hurt anyone because of his driving fast.

i understand that people who do bad things to others, usually have had bad things happen to them, a person who sexually abuses someone, nine times out of ten was sexually abused them themselves. this is in no way excusing them of their wicked actions, but understanding this, somehow makes it easier for me to forgive them. i understand that when someone does offend me, That they have some serious issues in their life, which is the reason for their offending, and i pray for them to get help.

To truly LOVE others is the key, Jesus forgave the very people who were beating Him, because He understood why they were doing it, they truly believed that Jesus was a fake, a heretic and the such, He understood their reasoning, even though it was wrong, He still understood the why behind their beating Him.

Its hard to forgive serious offenses, but with Jesus in you, He will help you to love that person who did the offense. think of a person who has offended you, do you love that person? Are you concerned about that persons Salvation? Have you prayed for that person to receive Christ? Where then is your love for that person? yes, that person did a terrible thing to you, wicked and evil, and that person will stand before God on Judgement Day and answer for their wickedness. But you will stand before God on Judgement Day as well and answer why you did not forgive that person. Why you did not love that person. We are commanded to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, its easy to love those who love you back, but what makes you a True Christian is to love those who don't love you back, that is revealing Christ in you. For only Christ in a person can a person love those who do not love them back, that is why the Scriptures teach you will know who is True Christians by the Love they have for others.

Hope this has helped in some way. Love you all.

^i^
 
N

Nest

Guest
#12
Four things i do, that helps me to love those who are very difficult to love.

1) realize the Jesus my Lord and Savior went to the cross for that person too, that Jesus loves that person
2) realize the way i feel towards that person is the way i feel toward Christ. (Matthew 25:31-46)
3) i feel pity for them, knowing that if they do not change, they will not get to go to Heaven.
4) i pray for them, that God will enter into their hearts and change them to the Truth and the light.

when i do these four things, i find it very difficult not to forgive them. Jesus loves them and died for them that person, i likewise should love and even be willing to die for that person as well. How i treat others is how i treat Christ, for it is written When i do it not to the least of these, i do it not to Christ, and i feel sorry for them knowing that if they do not find the love of Christ they will forever be expelled from Heaven, it is hard for me to hate someone who i feel sorry for, then i pray for them, that they may receive the love of Christ into their hearts even as i have, that the Lord would guide that person to Himself, that he/she may go to Heaven with me.

another thing i do, that helps me forgive people, is i try to understand the why they did what they did. For example, i'm driving and someone who apparently is in a very big hurry rides my bumper, and as soon as he can, he passes me very quickly giving me a dirty look. my first thought that comes to me, is "i hope a cop pulls him over and gives him a ticket" immediately i realize that is my flesh talking and not the Spirit of God. So i think "i don't know why he is going that fast, maybe he is on the way to the hospital because someone he loves got hurt" i am then able to forgive him, and i say "Hope you make it there safely buddy" or maybe say a little prayer for him, that he doesn't hurt anyone because of his driving fast.

i understand that people who do bad things to others, usually have had bad things happen to them, a person who sexually abuses someone, nine times out of ten was sexually abused them themselves. this is in no way excusing them of their wicked actions, but understanding this, somehow makes it easier for me to forgive them. i understand that when someone does offend me, That they have some serious issues in their life, which is the reason for their offending, and i pray for them to get help.

To truly LOVE others is the key, Jesus forgave the very people who were beating Him, because He understood why they were doing it, they truly believed that Jesus was a fake, a heretic and the such, He understood their reasoning, even though it was wrong, He still understood the why behind their beating Him.

Its hard to forgive serious offenses, but with Jesus in you, He will help you to love that person who did the offense. think of a person who has offended you, do you love that person? Are you concerned about that persons Salvation? Have you prayed for that person to receive Christ? Where then is your love for that person? yes, that person did a terrible thing to you, wicked and evil, and that person will stand before God on Judgement Day and answer for their wickedness. But you will stand before God on Judgement Day as well and answer why you did not forgive that person. Why you did not love that person. We are commanded to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, its easy to love those who love you back, but what makes you a True Christian is to love those who don't love you back, that is revealing Christ in you. For only Christ in a person can a person love those who do not love them back, that is why the Scriptures teach you will know who is True Christians by the Love they have for others.

Hope this has helped in some way. Love you all.

^i^
1,000 likes,Thanks brotha!!!
 

Twinkle77

Senior Member
Sep 1, 2012
357
5
18
#13
Four things i do, that helps me to love those who are very difficult to love.

1) realize the Jesus my Lord and Savior went to the cross for that person too, that Jesus loves that person
2) realize the way i feel towards that person is the way i feel toward Christ. (Matthew 25:31-46)
3) i feel pity for them, knowing that if they do not change, they will not get to go to Heaven.
4) i pray for them, that God will enter into their hearts and change them to the Truth and the light.

when i do these four things, i find it very difficult not to forgive them. Jesus loves them and died for them that person, i likewise should love and even be willing to die for that person as well. How i treat others is how i treat Christ, for it is written When i do it not to the least of these, i do it not to Christ, and i feel sorry for them knowing that if they do not find the love of Christ they will forever be expelled from Heaven, it is hard for me to hate someone who i feel sorry for, then i pray for them, that they may receive the love of Christ into their hearts even as i have, that the Lord would guide that person to Himself, that he/she may go to Heaven with me.

another thing i do, that helps me forgive people, is i try to understand the why they did what they did. For example, i'm driving and someone who apparently is in a very big hurry rides my bumper, and as soon as he can, he passes me very quickly giving me a dirty look. my first thought that comes to me, is "i hope a cop pulls him over and gives him a ticket" immediately i realize that is my flesh talking and not the Spirit of God. So i think "i don't know why he is going that fast, maybe he is on the way to the hospital because someone he loves got hurt" i am then able to forgive him, and i say "Hope you make it there safely buddy" or maybe say a little prayer for him, that he doesn't hurt anyone because of his driving fast.

i understand that people who do bad things to others, usually have had bad things happen to them, a person who sexually abuses someone, nine times out of ten was sexually abused them themselves. this is in no way excusing them of their wicked actions, but understanding this, somehow makes it easier for me to forgive them. i understand that when someone does offend me, That they have some serious issues in their life, which is the reason for their offending, and i pray for them to get help.

To truly LOVE others is the key, Jesus forgave the very people who were beating Him, because He understood why they were doing it, they truly believed that Jesus was a fake, a heretic and the such, He understood their reasoning, even though it was wrong, He still understood the why behind their beating Him.

Its hard to forgive serious offenses, but with Jesus in you, He will help you to love that person who did the offense. think of a person who has offended you, do you love that person? Are you concerned about that persons Salvation? Have you prayed for that person to receive Christ? Where then is your love for that person? yes, that person did a terrible thing to you, wicked and evil, and that person will stand before God on Judgement Day and answer for their wickedness. But you will stand before God on Judgement Day as well and answer why you did not forgive that person. Why you did not love that person. We are commanded to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, its easy to love those who love you back, but what makes you a True Christian is to love those who don't love you back, that is revealing Christ in you. For only Christ in a person can a person love those who do not love them back, that is why the Scriptures teach you will know who is True Christians by the Love they have for others.

Hope this has helped in some way. Love you all.

^i^
DiscipleDave
What you have written shows true christianity and your maturity in Christ. Wonderful! :)
 
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psychomom

Guest
#14
Ooohhhh...I thought we were going to talk about all the offenses I've committed...;)
Sometimes unwittingly...sometimes, God forgive me, with intent. :(

It surely does help me to remember that
1) I've offended people too many times.
2) I can't expect Christlike behavior from someone who doesn't have access through faith to Him. (too often I don't exhibit it, myself!)
3) I can begin by forgiving in faith. I don't feel it, but in obedience to Jesus, I do it...in faith that He will bring the feeling.

I like what you all said. :)
But I have to agree with strong1...feelings and truth are often not at all the same.

May the Lord bless and keep you. And I know he will. &#9829;
-ellie
 
O

oracle2world

Guest
#15
Although we believe in forgiveness, there is no time frame necessarily specified. When the time is right, you will know.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven ..."

-- Ecclesiastes
 
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Powemm

Guest
#16
<< Ecclesiastes 3:8 >>
My anger towards injustices done towards me became "just as ugly" as the offenses I hated.... When I started taking my emotions to Christ first , in their pure raw form... and said "okay God, you want the first of everything , here ya go". I mean I dumped every word and emotion in it's rawest form out of my heart to God ...
Something very awesome has happened since having done this...
I believe it's the Holy Spirit... Because the minute I'm done and go " ok , there ya go, now go sick em!". Oooooweeee does He straighten "me "
right out!!!
it is in that very moment ... I realize who I'm standing in front of doing This with... It's almost like God raises an eyebrow at me and grins saying " are you" really sure" about that? sometimes I'm so angry at the offense I say a second "yes, sick em!". Again He says... Ummm , youre really sure??? I don't get past that to even respond a third.... The question I'm about to write comes flooding in every time..
1. Have you forgotten all you've been forgiven?

well let me tell you, it shuts me up...
 
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Powemm

Guest
#17
I can laugh about this with God now, but took
Me a while to get to this place because of my stubborn will...
But I began seeing a cartoon flick ... A mad mad woman yelling at God dancing He do something with Her arm straightened out and finger pointing at tue other person... Second clip after the question is asked ... shows her mouth dropped open to the floor realizing her own nakedness before God :)
 
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Powemm

Guest
#18
Another thing That helped me with forgiveness and my anger significantly was someone showing me a clear tube with a clog in it...
The clog represents anger..... they poured in clean water ( which is gods forgiveness trying to work in and through our lives.. But can't because of the blockage ..
Anger is an emotion that has been built in us by God to "go off " when this is happening... the explosion of anger is tue alrm bell I not allowing Gods mercy or forgiveness to work out through me to someone undeserving of it...
For what reward is there to forgive someone in no need of it ?
this has helped me so much ...
has taken time for it to kick in... I had to really wrap my mind around it... and the more I have come to believe god the easier forgiving people is becoming... not good at it yet... But I can feel that huge clog loosening in my life... It's so awesome when God wedges something OUT!!! Love it!!!
I have to laugh , I've had an alrm going off for much of my life and just walking around with it left on.... don't ask me how stupid that feels. ok. Pretty stupid lol
Man God is good!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
7
38
#19
What helps me is this: If the offending attitudes, actions, thoughts, and words are coming from an earthen vessel that is also a vessel proclaiming to have a born again child of God in it, then it's simple, the one who is born again did not do it to begin with. If the vessel doesn't claim to be born again, then pray for that vessel and the born again spirit that could be in it, and which probably will be.
It's just the old man which has no other end but death.
I love you all.
 
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Gabriel777

Guest
#20
Punching that person in the face would be a way to deal with verbal assault. It could be effective but it's not the wisest way.