17-46 , I am my Beloved and He is mine

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twofeet

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A few people have asked about how I became a Christian....here is my testimony I wrote a few years ago....

I was 17 and things were stirring deep in my heart. I understood the joys of heavily drinking at 14, taking drugs at 15,and of course boys. I wouldn't say I was a drug addict in the way I was addicted craving the stuff...I think I had something far more deeper going on. I would take any drug offered to me without asking what is was, where it came from or what it did. I was once told I had a "self destruct" button. I really couldn't careless about my life.

I had left school, got a job straight away during the first summer. Got engaged to the guy I had been dating a year and then didn't bother showing up for my college interview....the lady tracked me down at my fiances house calling me in for an interview. So I started college and left my job in the September....but nothing was satisfying.....nothing. Not leaving school, not working earning money, not sex, not drink or drugs.....nothing.....but I knew it was God I needed.

As a young child I remember asking for a children's bible one Christmas. We always went to my Nans house (my adoptive family...none of my own) for dinner over the Christmas holidays. I remember sitting in the hall way on a cold floor whilst everyone else was in the sitting room watching TV or playing games. I sat alone in the cold reading my bible, taking it all in, staring at the pictures, being amazed at the stories.And something always gripped me when I saw pictures of Jesus on the cross....I just couldn't stop looking at them.

So, here I was at 17 and after a few weeks in college I headed to my local church. Sat through a very boring service but did the same a month later....I just knew God was the answer. Then in the January my fiancé bumped into an old friend of his, that used to date one of my friends. We hadn't seen him in over a year. He said he had become a christian and asked if we would like to go to one of his church meetings.......when I heard I jumped at the chance!

Sitting in the meeting I remember hearing the guy speak about the gospel of Jesus...cant remember much of what he said because I saw Jesus dying on the cross like on a TV screen that wasn't there. He was looking right me. I had never seen so much love for me in anyones eyes before. I knew that He was dying for me, I could see it in His face and I knew it was for all the things I had done wrong. I wept. I cried from the bottom of my heart for Him to forgive me and I promised to live for Him from now on.

The next day I woke up for college. I remember thinking to myself the moment I woke up "what on earth happened to me last night? Was that for real??". As I walked to college in the cold I could feel Gods presence all around me. It was like I had just stepped out into a new world. I felt so different inside. I knew He was there and I knew He loved me. I spent the day being my usual loud mouth obnoxious self at college but ended up apologising to God every few minutes for things I said or did.....I was no-longer alone! My whole life was now an open book to God. He was now my best friend teaching me, guiding me, showing me the right way to do things.

I think I had been a Christian about a week when I went a brought a bible. It was then that I read that the only thing that separated man from God was sin.......and if you truly repent and make Him Lord then you will be forgiven. I now understood what had happened to me!

My life from that moment on changed. God was now my best friend. I could see spiritual things....angels, demons...the spiritual war that people talk about was now laid out in front of me like I had one foot in this world and one in the other....2 pairs of eyes to see simultaneously the natural and supernatural. I had absolutely no desire to take drugs any more or get drunk. Something had changed so deep in my heart. I KNEW I was loved by someone so much bigger than me, who could see ALL of me. I was accepted by Him, He delighted over me and loved my company.

After joining the church I first met Jesus I had a great bunch of friends who hung out together. It was real, it was community. We were always in each others houses, helping each other when we messed up. Always loving, always sharing, always praying and encouraging one another. But then every now and then I would meet someone who would get very angry with the way I spoke about Jesus and my relationship with him. And as time progressed more and more of those Angry Christians seem to populate churches. I would have angry comments Like "who do you think you are? Do you think you have a hot line to God or something???" Or they would just avoid me, not talk to me or hope I would leave their church.

I soon realised that my experience of when I became a christian was not the same for everyone else. I presumed that life changing event stepping into the throne room of God and having him as your best friend....closer than any human....was what it was to get saved. Therefore everyone I met who said they were a "born again christian" I believed they must have had the same experience....after all we were all talking about making God "our personal saviour" etc....how was I suppose to know He wasnt so personal with them? That their experience was more "long distant" from what I was experiencing.Sitting with God for 7 hours one Saturday with God doing most the talking was nothing unusual for me. I could not understand why when prayer meetings took place hardly anyone showed up! To me they were the best meetings!!!

Ive been accused so many times of being arrogant just by talking about "me and God". Or "insane" by both christians and non.

But this is just my life changing experience....I dont know any different. Im not arrogant at all, Ive screwed up just as much as anyone else. I think as well people dont understand how awful it is when I do skrew up because I KNOW when God is angry with me and its not pleasant! But I do KNOW when Im forgiven...I REALLY AM forgiven cos He tells me so!

The bible to me is TRUTH. The laying down your life 100% and being His servant brings into you His company...behind the veil. I had nothing else to live for the day I met Jesus. He became my everything....my Love, my Lord....my very life. And because of that experience and every day that followed I know the word of God is true and I know where Im going when I die.....and its far better than this place I can assure you!

This is my testimony that changed my life....saved my life...and I have such joy because of it no matter what life throws at me or what people think of me.....NO ONE can separate me from the love of my God!
 
Thank you for sharing that with us twofeet, it's refreshing to read posts like yours.
 
I'm glad that at 46 you are still with the Lord i guess you can testify that life is but a vapour.
 
I would like to encourage all who think they we are saved by saying a simple prayer, such as the Billy Graham siners prayer, that having a saving faith is much more, I pray also you have repented as commanded by God, and are living a seperated life apart from the world, many think salvation is just a smiple prayer, with no real repentance or faith, they believe all is done, they were saved because they had a dramatic experience that made them think they were saved, but in reality God is waiting patiently for all to come to repentance, as He is no respector of persons, just a heart made pure through repentance and faith proven by deeds.

I pray this is your salvation experience, and you are a real saint!


A Saint or an aint?​



Joh 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow(obey) Me.​


Either you are one or the other, no such things as a sinning saint! A saint is walking in the present tense with Christ, being obedient, pure in heart and deed, and listening to His voice, then they follow Him on the narrow road. Luke 9-23-24.

Luke 9:23 And He said to all, If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.
Luke 9:24 For whoever will save his life shall lose it, but whoever will lose his life for My sake, he shall save it.

A real saint as described in the Bible has crucified his flesh with Christ, Galatians 2-20,

Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith(obedience) toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf.


Once and for all, hence I have been crucified, and thus they now walk in newness of life, 2 Corinthians 5-17.

2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.


Cleansed and purified of all willful sin, through a real repentance and faith. 2 Corinthians 7-10-11.

2Co 7:10 For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death.
2Co 7:11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but also defense; but also indignation; but also fear; but also desire; but also zeal; but also vengeance! In everything you approved yourselves to be clear (pure) in the matter.



They must remain diligent and faithful to the truth, obey from the heart, and keep themselves undefiled from the world and its false ways! 1 John 2-15-17.

1Jn 2:15 Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him,
1Jn 2:16 because all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
1Jn 2:17 And the world passes away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever.



You are not a saint without actually doing the works of righteousness(doing what is right) Jesus didn’t obey for you, but made a way, through His bold example for us to follow, He said His sheep follow Him and His steps and ways, which leads to eternal life. But sadly most churches teaches Jesus did it all for them, He took their place, and a real Christian is actually a sinner, but called a saint because they believe in Jesus!

Rom 8:4 So that the righteousness of the Law might be fulfilled in us,who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

It’s simple, obedience matters, those who count the cost and endure to the end will inherit eternal life, as you walk in the spirit, and not the flesh, walking as Jesus walked, in sincerity, purity and love!

A real saint will not be perfect as some think perfection is( as perfect as God) BUT will be living the crucified life, that only comes through repentance and faith both proven by deeds! And these deeds include obeying Jesus from the heart, abstaining from all appearances of evil, departing from iniquity, counting the cost, and most of all, crucifying your flesh with Christ once and for all, not because He did it for you, but because He commands you to do it, and a real saint will never argue in favor of sin!

Gal 5:24 But those belonging to Christ have crucified the fleshwith its passions and lusts.
Gal 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Tommy 8-18-12

Many will say this way is too difficult, and will come up with many excuses why they can’t obey and follow Jesus on the narrow road, but Jesus made it perfectly clear when He said, strive to enter the narrow gate, where the professing church says, it’s done for you, you cannot obey God, and to fear Him isn't important, just believe all is done, you do nothing but trust it has been done for you! Does this sound like the narrow way Jesus preached in the word?

Ecc 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
Ecc 12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
 
Tommy4Christ said:
I would like to encourage all who think they we are saved by saying a simple prayer, such as the Billy Graham siners prayer, that having a saving faith is much more, I pray also you have repented as commanded by God, and are living a seperated life apart from the world, many think salvation is just a smiple prayer, with no real repentance or faith, they believe all is done, they were saved because they had a dramatic experience that made them think they were saved, but in reality God is waiting patiently for all to come to repentance, as He is no respector of persons, just a heart made pure through repentance and faith proven by deeds.

I pray this is your salvation experience, and you are a real saint!


A Saint or an aint?​



Joh 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow(obey) Me.​



Either you are one or the other, no such things as a sinning saint! A saint is walking in the present tense with Christ, being obedient, pure in heart and deed, and listening to His voice, then they follow Him on the narrow road. Luke 9-23-24.

Luke 9:23 And He said to all, If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.
Luke 9:24 For whoever will save his life shall lose it, but whoever will lose his life for My sake, he shall save it.

A real saint as described in the Bible has crucified his flesh with Christ, Galatians 2-20,

Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith(obedience) toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf.


Once and for all, hence I have been crucified, and thus they now walk in newness of life, 2 Corinthians 5-17.

2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.


Cleansed and purified of all willful sin, through a real repentance and faith. 2 Corinthians 7-10-11.

2Co 7:10 For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death.
2Co 7:11 For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but also defense; but also indignation; but also fear; but also desire; but also zeal; but also vengeance! In everything you approved yourselves to be clear (pure) in the matter.



They must remain diligent and faithful to the truth, obey from the heart, and keep themselves undefiled from the world and its false ways! 1 John 2-15-17.

1Jn 2:15 Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him,
1Jn 2:16 because all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
1Jn 2:17 And the world passes away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever.



You are not a saint without actually doing the works of righteousness(doing what is right) Jesus didn’t obey for you, but made a way, through His bold example for us to follow, He said His sheep follow Him and His steps and ways, which leads to eternal life. But sadly most churches teaches Jesus did it all for them, He took their place, and a real Christian is actually a sinner, but called a saint because they believe in Jesus!

Rom 8:4 So that the righteousness of the Law might be fulfilled in us,who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

It’s simple, obedience matters, those who count the cost and endure to the end will inherit eternal life, as you walk in the spirit, and not the flesh, walking as Jesus walked, in sincerity, purity and love!

A real saint will not be perfect as some think perfection is( as perfect as God) BUT will be living the crucified life, that only comes through repentance and faith both proven by deeds! And these deeds include obeying Jesus from the heart, abstaining from all appearances of evil, departing from iniquity, counting the cost, and most of all, crucifying your flesh with Christ once and for all, not because He did it for you, but because He commands you to do it, and a real saint will never argue in favor of sin!

Gal 5:24 But those belonging to Christ have crucified the fleshwith its passions and lusts.
Gal 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Tommy 8-18-12

Many will say this way is too difficult, and will come up with many excuses why they can’t obey and follow Jesus on the narrow road, but Jesus made it perfectly clear when He said, strive to enter the narrow gate, where the professing church says, it’s done for you, you cannot obey God, and to fear Him isn't important, just believe all is done, you do nothing but trust it has been done for you! Does this sound like the narrow way Jesus preached in the word?

Ecc 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
Ecc 12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
Click to expand...


Thanks Tommy, great scriptures that bring real life, truth and power.The road is VERY narrow and few find it. It is definatly a life where DAILY I have to die to self, pick up my cross and follow Him to stay in His presence. It is a life where if I have strayed, especially as a young christian, the conviction of the Holy Spirit was so powerful I never returned to the sin again.I couldnt move on until I had truly repented and got my relationship back on track with the Lord. It is a life that has left me battered and bruised by this life, disowned by my family, shunned by religious people and mocked by non christians. Yet it is a life that is full of excitement and adventure where NOTHING is impossible with God. Daily I am learning to trust Him more, love Him more, surrender more and more. The most recent adventure He is taking me on, He wants me to sell my home I have lived in since I was 19 and travel, taking His kingdom wherever I go. My sons will be staying in the City I live, only my daughter will be coming with me. The abundant life Christ promises us when we die to the flesh is the most amazing life anyone could have on this planet. Jesus prayed to the Father, not to take us out the world but to be protected from the evil one. I can honestly say, from the depth of my being, to live is FOR Christ, to die is gain. I hope I have answered your question God bless
 
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