T
twofeet
Guest
A few people have asked about how I became a Christian....here is my testimony I wrote a few years ago....
I was 17 and things were stirring deep in my heart. I understood the joys of heavily drinking at 14, taking drugs at 15,and of course boys. I wouldn't say I was a drug addict in the way I was addicted craving the stuff...I think I had something far more deeper going on. I would take any drug offered to me without asking what is was, where it came from or what it did. I was once told I had a "self destruct" button. I really couldn't careless about my life.
I had left school, got a job straight away during the first summer. Got engaged to the guy I had been dating a year and then didn't bother showing up for my college interview....the lady tracked me down at my fiances house calling me in for an interview. So I started college and left my job in the September....but nothing was satisfying.....nothing. Not leaving school, not working earning money, not sex, not drink or drugs.....nothing.....but I knew it was God I needed.
As a young child I remember asking for a children's bible one Christmas. We always went to my Nans house (my adoptive family...none of my own) for dinner over the Christmas holidays. I remember sitting in the hall way on a cold floor whilst everyone else was in the sitting room watching TV or playing games. I sat alone in the cold reading my bible, taking it all in, staring at the pictures, being amazed at the stories.And something always gripped me when I saw pictures of Jesus on the cross....I just couldn't stop looking at them.
So, here I was at 17 and after a few weeks in college I headed to my local church. Sat through a very boring service but did the same a month later....I just knew God was the answer. Then in the January my fiancé bumped into an old friend of his, that used to date one of my friends. We hadn't seen him in over a year. He said he had become a christian and asked if we would like to go to one of his church meetings.......when I heard I jumped at the chance!
Sitting in the meeting I remember hearing the guy speak about the gospel of Jesus...cant remember much of what he said because I saw Jesus dying on the cross like on a TV screen that wasn't there. He was looking right me. I had never seen so much love for me in anyones eyes before. I knew that He was dying for me, I could see it in His face and I knew it was for all the things I had done wrong. I wept. I cried from the bottom of my heart for Him to forgive me and I promised to live for Him from now on.
The next day I woke up for college. I remember thinking to myself the moment I woke up "what on earth happened to me last night? Was that for real??". As I walked to college in the cold I could feel Gods presence all around me. It was like I had just stepped out into a new world. I felt so different inside. I knew He was there and I knew He loved me. I spent the day being my usual loud mouth obnoxious self at college but ended up apologising to God every few minutes for things I said or did.....I was no-longer alone! My whole life was now an open book to God. He was now my best friend teaching me, guiding me, showing me the right way to do things.
I think I had been a Christian about a week when I went a brought a bible. It was then that I read that the only thing that separated man from God was sin.......and if you truly repent and make Him Lord then you will be forgiven. I now understood what had happened to me!
My life from that moment on changed. God was now my best friend. I could see spiritual things....angels, demons...the spiritual war that people talk about was now laid out in front of me like I had one foot in this world and one in the other....2 pairs of eyes to see simultaneously the natural and supernatural. I had absolutely no desire to take drugs any more or get drunk. Something had changed so deep in my heart. I KNEW I was loved by someone so much bigger than me, who could see ALL of me. I was accepted by Him, He delighted over me and loved my company.
After joining the church I first met Jesus I had a great bunch of friends who hung out together. It was real, it was community. We were always in each others houses, helping each other when we messed up. Always loving, always sharing, always praying and encouraging one another. But then every now and then I would meet someone who would get very angry with the way I spoke about Jesus and my relationship with him. And as time progressed more and more of those Angry Christians seem to populate churches. I would have angry comments Like "who do you think you are? Do you think you have a hot line to God or something???" Or they would just avoid me, not talk to me or hope I would leave their church.
I soon realised that my experience of when I became a christian was not the same for everyone else. I presumed that life changing event stepping into the throne room of God and having him as your best friend....closer than any human....was what it was to get saved. Therefore everyone I met who said they were a "born again christian" I believed they must have had the same experience....after all we were all talking about making God "our personal saviour" etc....how was I suppose to know He wasnt so personal with them? That their experience was more "long distant" from what I was experiencing.Sitting with God for 7 hours one Saturday with God doing most the talking was nothing unusual for me. I could not understand why when prayer meetings took place hardly anyone showed up! To me they were the best meetings!!!
Ive been accused so many times of being arrogant just by talking about "me and God". Or "insane" by both christians and non.
But this is just my life changing experience....I dont know any different. Im not arrogant at all, Ive screwed up just as much as anyone else. I think as well people dont understand how awful it is when I do skrew up because I KNOW when God is angry with me and its not pleasant! But I do KNOW when Im forgiven...I REALLY AM forgiven cos He tells me so!
The bible to me is TRUTH. The laying down your life 100% and being His servant brings into you His company...behind the veil. I had nothing else to live for the day I met Jesus. He became my everything....my Love, my Lord....my very life. And because of that experience and every day that followed I know the word of God is true and I know where Im going when I die.....and its far better than this place I can assure you!
This is my testimony that changed my life....saved my life...and I have such joy because of it no matter what life throws at me or what people think of me.....NO ONE can separate me from the love of my God!
I was 17 and things were stirring deep in my heart. I understood the joys of heavily drinking at 14, taking drugs at 15,and of course boys. I wouldn't say I was a drug addict in the way I was addicted craving the stuff...I think I had something far more deeper going on. I would take any drug offered to me without asking what is was, where it came from or what it did. I was once told I had a "self destruct" button. I really couldn't careless about my life.
I had left school, got a job straight away during the first summer. Got engaged to the guy I had been dating a year and then didn't bother showing up for my college interview....the lady tracked me down at my fiances house calling me in for an interview. So I started college and left my job in the September....but nothing was satisfying.....nothing. Not leaving school, not working earning money, not sex, not drink or drugs.....nothing.....but I knew it was God I needed.
As a young child I remember asking for a children's bible one Christmas. We always went to my Nans house (my adoptive family...none of my own) for dinner over the Christmas holidays. I remember sitting in the hall way on a cold floor whilst everyone else was in the sitting room watching TV or playing games. I sat alone in the cold reading my bible, taking it all in, staring at the pictures, being amazed at the stories.And something always gripped me when I saw pictures of Jesus on the cross....I just couldn't stop looking at them.
So, here I was at 17 and after a few weeks in college I headed to my local church. Sat through a very boring service but did the same a month later....I just knew God was the answer. Then in the January my fiancé bumped into an old friend of his, that used to date one of my friends. We hadn't seen him in over a year. He said he had become a christian and asked if we would like to go to one of his church meetings.......when I heard I jumped at the chance!
Sitting in the meeting I remember hearing the guy speak about the gospel of Jesus...cant remember much of what he said because I saw Jesus dying on the cross like on a TV screen that wasn't there. He was looking right me. I had never seen so much love for me in anyones eyes before. I knew that He was dying for me, I could see it in His face and I knew it was for all the things I had done wrong. I wept. I cried from the bottom of my heart for Him to forgive me and I promised to live for Him from now on.
The next day I woke up for college. I remember thinking to myself the moment I woke up "what on earth happened to me last night? Was that for real??". As I walked to college in the cold I could feel Gods presence all around me. It was like I had just stepped out into a new world. I felt so different inside. I knew He was there and I knew He loved me. I spent the day being my usual loud mouth obnoxious self at college but ended up apologising to God every few minutes for things I said or did.....I was no-longer alone! My whole life was now an open book to God. He was now my best friend teaching me, guiding me, showing me the right way to do things.
I think I had been a Christian about a week when I went a brought a bible. It was then that I read that the only thing that separated man from God was sin.......and if you truly repent and make Him Lord then you will be forgiven. I now understood what had happened to me!
My life from that moment on changed. God was now my best friend. I could see spiritual things....angels, demons...the spiritual war that people talk about was now laid out in front of me like I had one foot in this world and one in the other....2 pairs of eyes to see simultaneously the natural and supernatural. I had absolutely no desire to take drugs any more or get drunk. Something had changed so deep in my heart. I KNEW I was loved by someone so much bigger than me, who could see ALL of me. I was accepted by Him, He delighted over me and loved my company.
After joining the church I first met Jesus I had a great bunch of friends who hung out together. It was real, it was community. We were always in each others houses, helping each other when we messed up. Always loving, always sharing, always praying and encouraging one another. But then every now and then I would meet someone who would get very angry with the way I spoke about Jesus and my relationship with him. And as time progressed more and more of those Angry Christians seem to populate churches. I would have angry comments Like "who do you think you are? Do you think you have a hot line to God or something???" Or they would just avoid me, not talk to me or hope I would leave their church.
I soon realised that my experience of when I became a christian was not the same for everyone else. I presumed that life changing event stepping into the throne room of God and having him as your best friend....closer than any human....was what it was to get saved. Therefore everyone I met who said they were a "born again christian" I believed they must have had the same experience....after all we were all talking about making God "our personal saviour" etc....how was I suppose to know He wasnt so personal with them? That their experience was more "long distant" from what I was experiencing.Sitting with God for 7 hours one Saturday with God doing most the talking was nothing unusual for me. I could not understand why when prayer meetings took place hardly anyone showed up! To me they were the best meetings!!!
Ive been accused so many times of being arrogant just by talking about "me and God". Or "insane" by both christians and non.
But this is just my life changing experience....I dont know any different. Im not arrogant at all, Ive screwed up just as much as anyone else. I think as well people dont understand how awful it is when I do skrew up because I KNOW when God is angry with me and its not pleasant! But I do KNOW when Im forgiven...I REALLY AM forgiven cos He tells me so!
The bible to me is TRUTH. The laying down your life 100% and being His servant brings into you His company...behind the veil. I had nothing else to live for the day I met Jesus. He became my everything....my Love, my Lord....my very life. And because of that experience and every day that followed I know the word of God is true and I know where Im going when I die.....and its far better than this place I can assure you!
This is my testimony that changed my life....saved my life...and I have such joy because of it no matter what life throws at me or what people think of me.....NO ONE can separate me from the love of my God!