Hopeless Love??????

[RachelP03]

Someone told me that me and my ex are hopeless love towards each other. I understand it, but then I dont. Does anyone know what this is, or believe it can exist. I KNOW in my heart this man isnt for me, and God even changed his heart to leave, cause I was living in Sin but so weak I couldnt back out.

Now hes professing his love for me and its been a year since we broke up. I never really got over him either and talk about him all the time and think about him. Now hes saying the same thing I always felt. I never understood how we both can feel this way and yet feel like we arnt meant to be, even tho he says Im the one. I dont get it....Ive been struggling alot!!!

SO does anyone know if its hopeless love, or if its something else? Also has anyone ever gone thru this?

 

[Stuey]

Hmmm, yeah I think I have gone through this to some extent, not the same as you.

From experience, it will help not to obsess about the question and believe that your happiness and life depends on it. I don't say this because you necessarily are like this, but because I have made this mistake. I think it is helpful to work out whether you can marry this person and want to, you can't marry this person or don't want to, or you don't know yet.

If you can't, while it's possible to be friends in most cases, you need to protect yourself emotionally so it doesn't become too painful to let him go, move on and start a new chapter of your life.

If you don't know, I think it is still good to protect yourself emotionally somewhat, pray about it, talk to friends, family, anyone you trust and maybe spend some time with him or talk about it with him.

Above all you need to put God first. Now, you've said that your previous relationship with him wasn't Godly. Unless he is truly a Christian a second relationship won't be different, and God tells us not to marry Non-Christians.

It won't be easy though. Life isn't really.

 

[RachelP03]

I have tried everything to get him out of my head. I have blocked him AND his family, whom I love and have been there for me. I had too, and they understood so i could move on. I thought he moved on, cause I knew he was with someone else, and I accepted it. I wanted him to move on and I just thought it was battle I was dealing with. TO find out that he was dealing with it too. I know I cant marry him. I know for a fact hes not for me. We are two different religions and he really dosent practice his. I cant say what his relationship with Christ is, but I hope he is saved. I do pray for him!

Hmmm, yeah I think I have gone through this to some extent, not the same as you.

From experience, it will help not to obsess about the question and believe that your happiness and life depends on it. I don't say this because you necessarily are like this, but because I have made this mistake. I think it is helpful to work out whether you can marry this person and want to, you can't marry this person or don't want to, or you don't know yet.

If you can't, while it's possible to be friends in most cases, you need to protect yourself emotionally so it doesn't become too painful to let him go, move on and start a new chapter of your life.

If you don't know, I think it is still good to protect yourself emotionally somewhat, pray about it, talk to friends, family, anyone you trust and maybe spend some time with him or talk about it with him.

Above all you need to put God first. Now, you've said that your previous relationship with him wasn't Godly. Unless he is truly a Christian a second relationship won't be different, and God tells us not to marry Non-Christians.

It won't be easy though. Life isn't really.

 

[Ugly]

Human emotion has nothing to do with Gods will. That's how you can feel love for someone you're not meant to be with. I've felt attraction to and emotion for women i knew were not for me, and could not be for me, but that doesn't stop my emotions from doing their thing. The key is learning to control these desires and emotions.
Usually what happens is more of a dwelling on the person, which feeds the emotions, which in turn prevents us from recovering from them. It may be time to take every thought, about this guy, captive to the obedience of Christ, so that you can allow your emotions to move on through the renewing of your mind and spirit.

 

[Po1492]

I am in the same boat as you. Just got divorced from the woman who is the love of my life and my best friend. Trying to move on, but my heart still belongs to her. Very confusing because I did not ask her to marry without praying about it first. Felt like she is who God wanted me to be with and it still feels that way. Feel like God is trying to re-connect us towards each other, but she says that she is too hurt by our circumstances to consider that right now. She says we need time away from each other for now. The only thing that has kept me from losing my mind is my constant prayers to the Lord. He brings me comfort during these lonely times--the holidays are HORRIBLE--and I know that if it is meant to be He will allow it to happen in the right time. Hang in there!!!

 

[RachelP03]

I am in the same boat as you. Just got divorced from the woman who is the love of my life and my best friend. Trying to move on, but my heart still belongs to her. Very confusing because I did not ask her to marry without praying about it first. Felt like she is who God wanted me to be with and it still feels that way. Feel like God is trying to re-connect us towards each other, but she says that she is too hurt by our circumstances to consider that right now. She says we need time away from each other for now. The only thing that has kept me from losing my mind is my constant prayers to the Lord. He brings me comfort during these lonely times--the holidays are HORRIBLE--and I know that if it is meant to be He will allow it to happen in the right time. Hang in there!!!

You know what? I just got divorced on August 1st. This guy im talking about is a guy who I lived in sin with. he was married to a woman and I was married to my husband. NOW.....we were all friends.....BUT.....they left and cheated on us before we got together and no they didnt cheat together with each other, they went on their own and cheated a month apart from our breakup. I have felt more of a connection than i ever did with my husband for 11 years we were together. I dont understand why i feel more connected with someone I lived in sin with then I did the man I married and spent half of my life with.

If you feel the desire to fight for your marriage then do it!!!! I did it twice!!!!! I fought and fought and I didnt even know at the time if I wanted too, but I did.....and we did end up in divorce, but I can tell you now I feel at peace with it. I know now that I can move on and know I did everything I was supposed too. God put the fire in my heart to fight for us.......he also put it in my heart and prepared for the divorce. I am at full peace with my marriage ending....but for some reason I cant let this one guy out of my head. I had a connection with him more than I ever did with my husband. I feel like we are magnets drawn to each other.

I am so sorry for your divorce. It was the most worst time in my life. It changed me and I pretty much went off the deep end. My husband I waited till we were married to make love for the first time, and we dated 6 years before we got married. We tryied to do things right and live a Godly life. People change, temptation gets in front of us and sometimes its hard to say no. Its no excuse, but I now see people struggle and make mistakes.

Dont give up!!!!! Do what God places in your heart, because there is a reason........One day you will see!!