Wondering....

[lilbear5459]

I feel left out. I am in my twenties and everyone I went to school is getting married or already married. People from church that I grew up is getting married or already is married.
The reason why I am posting this is...
I have had guys that I was interested in, tell me that I am special type of girl. But yet that has been the excuse over and over. Is there something wrong with this picture. Is there something wrong with me. I keep praying to God that he will answer my prayer. But when it comes to countless rejects. I get the sense to give up. I have friends year after year. Telling me I will be alone. Ahhhh
I just want to know if anyone else feels like this. And you have any advise. I am not giving up. I just feel like I am in a valley.... I know I got to keep climbing that mountain. I do know. I am just confused. I know that Gods promises to come. I know just as he turned dirty water into wine. I know he can have miracles happen. Just when I here countless negatives year after year, I would like to have one big positive miracle regarding this matter.

 

[Jullianna]

lilbear, I know you don't want to hear this and that it won't take away the loneliness, but you are still very, very young. Yes, many of your friends are getting married, but I wonder how many are marrying for the wrong reasons and how many will still be married to the same person ten years from now. I can't tell you how many friends I've had who regretted marrying just because it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Marriage is for keeps and is deserving of better than that.

TRUST God with this. Don't allow loneliness to choose the man you marry. ENJOY life! Learn things! Experience things! It will give you so many opportunites to share with others and you might just meet someone incredible along the way.

 

[lilbear5459]

Thanks! True about that. I do not feel lonely though. Thanks though. I will take the advice and run with it. =). I guess I was looking to see what singles think too. Yes I am younger, but that does not mean anything. Not looking to argue. But thanks.

 

[AAAPlus]

Hey lilbear,

Your chat thing says you're 21. I'm not sure how things are where you live, but in my part of the country very few people your age are married. Even at my church which has around 250 people in the 18-24 age range, I only know of four married couples, and in three of them both people are immature and have terrible marriages.

 

[Jilly81]

LilBear, a lot of the people who I knew when I was your age got married young. However, later many of them got divorced. In fact, I can only think of one who stayed married. Not that you would divorce, but when I saw everyone else getting married, at first I felt left out (though not too much, as I knew it was God's will for me for that time). When all the marriages started failing, it made me extra glad that I was single. I'd recommend asking Jesus to point out to you anything that you ARE doing wrong, just in case. From reading your post, though, it sounds like you may be doing that. I'd do it again and often, but ask Him to point out anything that you're doing wrong in any area of life, not just in the guy-attracting part of life . Hope your walk with Him goes well, Sis! -Jill

 

[zaoman32]

Sounds like like Jilly and Jullianna got you pretty much covered, no offense AAA. I speak as someone with the point of view from getting married young, having a crappy marriage, and having it end badly with kids involved which is one of the worst situations to get into, and trust me, you don't want to be there.

I do know someone who never even had a boyfriend till they were 30, and when she did finally get one they were so perfect for each other that nobody could imagine one without the other. Wait on the Lord, and make sure it's Him who's first in your heart and not some guy who will more than likely let you down and break your heart.

 

[Jullianna]

Since zaoman answered from that perspective, I'd like to answer from the perspective of someone who married very young and did have a great marriage. IT'S STILL INCREDIBLY HARD and I don't recommend it.

I married at 18, had no idea who I was, became a mom at 19, worked and went to college, took care of a home, husband............it's exhausting. Love for my God, husband and son saw me through, but...again..that's too much for someone so young.

"THEY" say that those who've made the most mistakes are the most qualified to give advice. Here we are. haha

 

[Jilly81]

Hehe . I'm kind of on the fence as far as agreeing with Jullianna's last line of text . Hehe, since she agrees with the advice I gave, I suppose it doesn't matter.

Thinking about it, it does seem to get person A's attention the most when person B went through something that person A was considering doing, if person B is warning others about mistakes he/she made. I have to say, though, that avoiding issues like that, like I have, and being happy about not having to go through it (looking back on my twenties) will hopefully be helpful also . I see women really often that make me think "wow...I'm so glad I avoided that".

That wasn't a comment on what you said, BTW, Jullianna; I know you "liked" my post and that we agree; I'm just commenting .

 

[Jullianna]

I always applaud those who clear the electrical fence with room to spare, Jilly I was actually taking a sarcastic poke at myself with that last line.

I agree with so much of what has been said here. People can come at a thing from many perspectives and often take away the same lessons. The important thing is that we listen to God and learn.

 

[Searching4Truth]

Wait. Let me get my armor. It's a little dirty... kinda scratched and scuffed. Do you know how long it takes just to put on a suit of armor by yourself? Plus, I have to feed my horse, Hercules. Stable boys these days are hard to come by when you're not of noble blood.

All kidding aside, I can somewhat understand a little of what you're feeling when it comes to being left out. I look at my friends and family members and think how lucky and blessed they are to have babies and children. But, I also note that some of these couples aren't a couple anymore. Single mothers are left with a constant reminder of how much a "dirt bag" the biological father is. It seems to be left unsaid that the child is more like a blessed-burden to them. I wonder how many of your friends will stay together after the long run. People have a funny way of changing and withholding feelings and crucial information at a certain age.

*pitches up tent*

All valley's aren't within the shadow of death.

(But that's only my opinion)

 

[lilbear5459]

I want to thank you all for the advice. I went and talked to my good friend who is a pastors wife. She directed me to the right spot. After talking to her. And getting my thoughts together and in check it came very clear. I am not looking to get married tomorrow. I would be out of my mind. But having a good male friend to do things with and hang out and chat isnt have bad of an idea. Also yes some of the people I know who got married young, I hope and pray they will never have issues. But I also know many, many, many couples who got married at 18 and have stayed married for 30 yrs plus. Yes they might have had issues, but they got through it. Amen to them. I understand now. It not I am lonely or desperate. It having a friend to talk,hang, etc. I have always known to wait on Gods plan. Heck I know I am in college I am still learning. But I guess my statement was not as clear as it should. Sorry wasting your time.

@AAAPlus: Yes I am young . That is right. I am 21. I hope the couples at your church that you mentioned. I hope that God Blesses their lives.
@ Jullianna: I want to thank you for your advice! And true you do have the most room to give advice. Just don't be a no at all. Because someone older can teach you something that you might not have became aware.
@ Zoman: thanks for the info. And stuff.
@ Search4 truth: I agree with you. And what your talking about.


Lastly, It felt as if I got a lecture. Yet all I was asking for advice. As in something more different... O well thanks for the help...

 

[Searching4Truth]

Lastly, It felt as if I got a lecture.

That's what happens for being young.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I feel left out. I am in my twenties and everyone I went to school is getting married or already married. People from church that I grew up is getting married or already is married.
The reason why I am posting this is...
I have had guys that I was interested in, tell me that I am special type of girl. But yet that has been the excuse over and over. Is there something wrong with this picture. Is there something wrong with me. I keep praying to God that he will answer my prayer. But when it comes to countless rejects. I get the sense to give up. I have friends year after year. Telling me I will be alone. Ahhhh
I just want to know if anyone else feels like this. And you have any advise. I am not giving up. I just feel like I am in a valley.... I know I got to keep climbing that mountain. I do know. I am just confused. I know that Gods promises to come. I know just as he turned dirty water into wine. I know he can have miracles happen. Just when I here countless negatives year after year, I would like to have one big positive miracle regarding this matter.

I'd be willing to bet that in about 5 years you will look at the friends who are getting married now and will be glad you didn't get married.

 

[Jullianna]

I want to thank you all for the advice. I went and talked to my good friend who is a pastors wife. She directed me to the right spot. After talking to her. And getting my thoughts together and in check it came very clear. I am not looking to get married tomorrow. I would be out of my mind. But having a good male friend to do things with and hang out and chat isnt have bad of an idea. Also yes some of the people I know who got married young, I hope and pray they will never have issues. But I also know many, many, many couples who got married at 18 and have stayed married for 30 yrs plus. Yes they might have had issues, but they got through it. Amen to them. I understand now. It not I am lonely or desperate. It having a friend to talk,hang, etc. I have always known to wait on Gods plan. Heck I know I am in college I am still learning. But I guess my statement was not as clear as it should. Sorry wasting your time.

@AAAPlus: Yes I am young . That is right. I am 21. I hope the couples at your church that you mentioned. I hope that God Blesses their lives.
@ Jullianna: I want to thank you for your advice! And true you do have the most room to give advice. Just don't be a no at all. Because someone older can teach you something that you might not have became aware.
@ Zoman: thanks for the info. And stuff.
@ Search4 truth: I agree with you. And what your talking about.


Lastly, It felt as if I got a lecture. Yet all I was asking for advice. As in something more different... O well thanks for the help...

I love learning things from older people. One of the most blessed things I've learned from older people is manners and how to speak respectfully to my elders, especially older ladies who are called by scripture to teach the younger ladies.

I'm sorry you felt lectured. Those of us who love the Lord, have struggled and have seen so much suffering care enough to attempt share and help you keep it from happening to you so the pain and suffering will not have been in vain. God bless you!

 

[Jilly81]

I want to thank you all for the advice. I went and talked to my good friend who is a pastors wife. She directed me to the right spot. After talking to her. And getting my thoughts together and in check it came very clear. I am not looking to get married tomorrow. I would be out of my mind. But having a good male friend to do things with and hang out and chat isnt have bad of an idea. Also yes some of the people I know who got married young, I hope and pray they will never have issues. But I also know many, many, many couples who got married at 18 and have stayed married for 30 yrs plus. Yes they might have had issues, but they got through it. Amen to them. I understand now. It not I am lonely or desperate. It having a friend to talk,hang, etc. I have always known to wait on Gods plan. Heck I know I am in college I am still learning. But I guess my statement was not as clear as it should. Sorry wasting your time.

@AAAPlus: Yes I am young . That is right. I am 21. I hope the couples at your church that you mentioned. I hope that God Blesses their lives.
@ Jullianna: I want to thank you for your advice! And true you do have the most room to give advice. Just don't be a no at all. Because someone older can teach you something that you might not have became aware.
@ Zoman: thanks for the info. And stuff.
@ Search4 truth: I agree with you. And what your talking about.


Lastly, It felt as if I got a lecture. Yet all I was asking for advice. As in something more different... O well thanks for the help...

LilBear, I'll be totally honest with you. I wasn't sure WHAT you were asking advice for, which was one of the reasons I recommended that you pray and ask Him that if you were doing something wrong, it would be revealed/pointed out to you. I hope you didn't feel condescended to. It wasn't my intention, and I seriously doubt if any of the others meant to make you feel that way either.

I always applaud those who clear the electrical fence with room to spare, Jilly I was actually taking a sarcastic poke at myself with that last line.

I agree with so much of what has been said here. People can come at a thing from many perspectives and often take away the same lessons. The important thing is that we listen to God and learn.

Hehe, thanks, Sis . That made me smile/snicker, "clearing the electrical fence w/ room to spare" XD! I agree with what you said, and I see what you meant; you were more pointing out that you'd done something that isn't recommend, even though it fortunately turned out well, or at least acceptably .

 

[Stephanie]

“I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband. Nor because I’m too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me because this is the best place to be right now.” ~Frank Damazio

 

[Stephanie]

What kind of advice are you looking for? I'm 27, single, ALL my friends are married, most with kids. So... I get it. You want to know, what? How to cope with being single when your friends are married? You want to know why you're the single one?

I see that you're seeking advice but I'm unclear on what type of advice you're seeking.