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In my life I have gone through a lot of rejection, pain, suffering, hatred, and having spiritual things happen. I have been living with my mother ever since and she is still the same. She drinks and fights with her boyfriend screaming and swearing that life isn't fair. Complaining that she is a hard worker and that everyone is rich. I tried living with my dad who does drugs and it seems I can't relate to anyone really in my family who would except my beliefs. Like they believe in God and Jesus and so on but like what I believe about God and what we need to do to live a righteous life is beyond anything they could think of. I used to struggle in the past as well with drinking and drugs. In fact, the effects that I had when I explained them to people they thought I was nuts. I would feel pain and like I was being stabbed in my throat and sometimes I would suffer. Its as if I was in a different world and I could feel demons wanting to kill me. One time I overdosed and I could recall seeing this world in Negative <---- an effect used on phones to make videos. I have had many different feelings of being in this world and I constantly think of things in my mind. I have lost so many friends cause of my beliefs and yet I feel as I go to church and meet new people I still don't feel a connection. I see myself living alone as a hermit. Maybe not for ever but just enough so that I can work on my relationship with the Lord. I cant live in my home. I cant live on this internet, online, what ever this junk is. I cant find a job and make money and live in a house and be tempted by television. I'm not saying everything is bad about technology but I am weak when I am exposed to it. My mind is sucked into it. I had enough living in this world! I had enough of how this world and jobs are being done. You need to go on computer to fill out applications, ask questions, everything is made so technical nowadays. Yet people are trying to form robots and thus create humans. Cloning you ever hear of that???? You ever hear these stories about what this future can be like? You ever realize the music videos and words and so on that is starting to be allowed on television? You ever think to realize the lies in politics? You ever think to realize that they are even hiding things from us???? I'm sorry but even If I get a job and make money I am not going to last long in this house or a house by myself. I'm living in the woods, desert, what ever! It states in the bible to leave everything behind and to get rid of anything that might take the Lords place in your heart. Well guess what???? A lot of things do! I'm sick of it! You think were going to be doing these things in heaven? I think not! I'm not about to find a job and make money and live as this world wants me to live. Why should I store up all these treasures when yet the life that lies ahead does not have these things. I'm sorry but half the time I feel like crying cause I honestly believe that God wants me to be taught by him alone and no one else. Every time I go to someone for advice its as if i don't believe everything they say or that I just don't understand what they say or I don't remember. Yet In church people try and say hey were family now! Think of me as a father a spiritual father who can help you. Or hey we can be like your mom even though you may have struggles we can be like your mom! well.... In the bible it states Matthew (23:9) and don't address anyone on earth as father for only God in heaven is your spiritual father. If I'm alone living and praying to God without any distractions I believe I will be taught a lot more. I am sorry but I am weak being exposed to this world and It's not working for me.