Bad daters. What've you found the most sucessful way(s) to start off a blind date?

[GreenNnice]

When you meet someone at Applebees, after having met them and discovering, via christian chatroom, but of course, that you both lived in Katmandou, you chit, you chat a few times, he or she says something suggestive, you go out and eat food.

You get there and......you see her......and WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?

Some questions below to help you along...

1. How do you start things off, this girl you like and you don't know, hmm, where to start? She's starin', boy, start talkin' !!

2. When the mood goes silent, DEAD SILENT, you can't uh thinka know nothing what to say next, what do you do, notmydudes?

3. Guys, the girl was totally interested in to you, and, now, aftervhaving listened to you give your entire work history of the last 10 years, in 10 minutes, she's into you sooo much less now. Think 'nil.'

Hmm, maybe, miladies can value-add some advice for the guy that's on his 7th date with a new girl, ahem, that's 7 dates, 7 new girls, in the last year, and just seems to always say or do something that upsets the girl. Often, sadly, he doesn't ever find out either. Until now

Guys, gals, show we bad daters' how to do it right. Save us from ourselves, pleeeeeeeease

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I have in my experience and listning to my friends experiences, come to realize the worst bad dates are the ones when the man talks only about himself. He doesn't ask you any questions, he doesn't seem to take any interest in you. He just talks all about him, and then sits silent.
How was your day? If the persons says good, or bad. Ask what was good/bad about it?
How was work?

Those are two questions anyone can ask that can get a conversation going. Asking questions to each other in general usually will always start off a conversation an it lets the other person know you are genuinely interested. When the guy or girl doesn't ask anything and is content to steer everything back to themselves. I'd just get up and leave. I'm not fond of selfish people.

 

[Searching4Truth]

 

[djness]

When you meet someone at Applebees, after having met them and discovering, via christian chatroom, but of course, that you both lived in Katmandou, you chit, you chat a few times, he or she says something suggestive, you go out and eat food.

You get there and......you see her......and WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?

Some questions below to help you along...

1. How do you start things off, this girl you like and you don't know, hmm, where to start? She's starin', boy, start talkin' !!

2. When the mood goes silent, DEAD SILENT, you can't uh thinka know nothing what to say next, what do you do, notmydudes?

3. Guys, the girl was totally interested in to you, and, now, aftervhaving listened to you give your entire work history of the last 10 years, in 10 minutes, she's into you sooo much less now. Think 'nil.'

Hmm, maybe, miladies can value-add some advice for the guy that's on his 7th date with a new girl, ahem, that's 7 dates, 7 new girls, in the last year, and just seems to always say or do something that upsets the girl. Often, sadly, he doesn't ever find out either. Until now

Guys, gals, show we bad daters' how to do it right. Save us from ourselves, pleeeeeeeease

I think what it really boils down to is living a life were you have experiences...I love stories..
I often times find myself having to come up with stuff though because the girl just sits there....and I can't imagine for the life of me that she doesn't have anything to talk about..

However after having sat in the cc lounge for hours on end I actually can imagine that some people just don't do anything and have nothing to talk about. They are just living vicariously through others.

I used to think going and doing stuff by myself was boring and i should only go and do something i find of interest if i have someone with me....i realize that now that means doing nothing since i have nobody.

If the conversation has to rest on the guy well then to be honest the guy needs to find another girl...number 8 ...cause people with nothing to say are boring..that will probably get the response ''oh well saying words but saying nothing isn't communication'', and ya i get that...but not being able to talk about anything makes you boring. I bore myself with doing nothing, I can only imagine sitting with nothing to talk about is the same, as I have already been through that.

And I'm not suggesting that sitting in silence can be bad if you are just enjoying it.

 

[Jullianna]

Don't talk about work unless you are an astronaut zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

Ask something like...

So what's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you on a date?

Do you like to make snow angels?

What's your favorite candy bar?

Do you think there's any gum stuck to the bottom of these chairs?

But, seriously, if a lady makes you feel as if the burden of conversation is all on you....pass. You aren't there to put on a floorshow, you are there to get to know more about ONE ANOTHER. A woman who sits there and looks at you like..."Okay. Give it your best shot. Entertain me." doesn't yet have the depth to appreciate a relationship with you. Move on.

 

[Indubitably]

I've found that of I answer her questions honestly and keep the focus on the lady, things go quite well. If she finds that focus a bit too much, she'll change the subject. Don't just talk about her; show a genuine interest. Talk about unusual things, such as Jullianna suggested before me here and if there is a lull, just try to get to learn as much as you can about what she likes and what pleases her. If that doesn't make for a good date, it's just not a match!

 

[Ritter]

You aren't there to put on a floorshow...

Speak for yourself. I'll put on a floorshow and charge admission.

Byah!

 

[Ritter]

1. How do you start things off, this girl you like and you don't know, hmm, where to start? She's starin', boy, start talkin' !!

Think strategically. Open something up playfully that you can talk about for awhile. I don't care what it is. Something happened in your town. You saw someone similar to your waiter on the food network.

Unlike most people, by the second date, I bring up beliefs. If we don't at least hold similar worldviews, its over.

2. When the mood goes silent, DEAD SILENT, you can't uh thinka know nothing what to say next, what do you do, notmydudes?

Say anything as long as it isn't potentially offensive. If the girl isn't saying anything most of the date, then it isn't worth your time.

3. Guys, the girl was totally interested in to you, and, now, aftervhaving listened to you give your entire work history of the last 10 years, in 10 minutes, she's into you sooo much less now. Think 'nil.'

My work is a 50/50 gamble. You either love it or hate it based largely on what you believe. If I'm hated for what I do, fine. The lady can get in line with people from my hometown.

 

[Jullianna]

Speak for yourself. I'll put on a floorshow and charge admission.

Byah!

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

RITTER PREPARING FOR A DATE :

 

[zeroturbulence]

Yo watch the hair! I spend a lotta time on my hair!

 

[GreenNnice]

You guys are sooo funny, har, har, hair.

Oop
s,

I got an 'i' in there.

Just beeee spontaneous, guys, but in a calculated, prepared way. I kjow, hard to understand the opposite meanings in the just said.

Just remember, for every action, every single little thing you do, someons reacts, it's a law of physics, it must be so.
Everything. Action-->reaction. Action--> HEY, QUIT REACTING !

LOL, but, yeah, guys, make that girl FEEL like she's the ONLY girl in your world, and, never forget, girls REACT differently than your bud friends, notmydudes. So, if you tell a joke and she don't git it, you've probably got her going down the 'Oh, I don't git his humor. Fail!'

Alas, there's hope still, in the midst of praying to God she will get the gist of the joke, EXPLAIN the joke to her. Trust trust me at this point you're either friendzoned or never to be seen in an intimate time (a date is intimate, guys, even if its just getting coffee !) with this girl you STILL really like,again. Now, sure, girls are all different, some will like your joke, some will not, especially if you mess it up.

And if you didn't hit it off for the dinner date and are outside the door, stop right there,, just say so, 'Hey, I was stunningly unable to communicate with you most of the date but that is because you floored me with the way you gently handled my total awkwardness around you . So,, sorry, if I ruined the date, I sure do like you.'
And give her a hug (NOT a kiss) at this point, and say, 'I hope, to God, literally, we can try this again?' The End. But, wait, NO!, not the end, you stare her in the eyes and say 'Thank you for a very nice night. You have my number so there is nothing else but this to leave you with .'
Pull something out of your pocket to give her, something that you knew before the date that she would like. A charm soccer ball if she likes soccer, or something else that is specially her.

'Ahhh,' should be her reaction, but if it's not, the next line is tye same jo matter what her reaction to the charm is. You KICK to the finish, pray, pray, pray, too, all the while, God works when we do , you God delighter you (psalms 37:4)

Then, say, 'Well, I guess this it,' YOU need to be utterly strong while shrugging your shoulders , letting her know through your gesture never seeing her again will be very sad for you.

She wil at this point either say something like, 'Hmm.' Or, 'Yeah, I guess so.'. Guess what!!!

These are signs to GET BRAVE, to not go !!!!. GO kise her now !!! On the cheek, unlews she gives you the lips. Don't worry, the Lord leaes, YOU will know

And,. if she just says, 'yep,' you just turn around and walk away, saying 'yep' before you turn , and, say it, in TOTAL HUMILITY, let her know you like her still.

Then you turn around and say, 'oh, let me walk you to your car.'

Do that, she may still give you a sign, notmydude, pay attention to her signs.
She says, 'I liked what you just said.'

Then go to, 'I meant it, I like you, but I really messed up but I really woukd like to try again. '

At the car, she will give you one last word, so, be able to roll with it.

Above all else, the Lord leads, ACCEPT His leading, doesn't work out, you just keep your chin held high and thank God for that time with a girl.

 

[GreenNnice]

When I was 35, I met a girl on eharmony and we talked online that way for 2-3 months before she, living two hours away, decided to make a trip to my town for an afternoon messing around at a theme park. From the moment, I meet her, I was, suddenly, unable to say things like I did on eharmony, I forget what I spoke of but it was God related topics, mostly, but, who knows, I can be quite open, I think, I am, anyway, when I meet a girl as I have an example of this 'openness,' but that's for another time.
As we walked in the theme park, I was just talking with her, I think we even held hands, and, she may have been the instigator, I don't know, I just was stopped up , it was WEIRD, I, who could talk a storm online, was, SUDDENLY, Seymour. Oh, wait, sorry, that's Little Shop of Horrors, I was suddenly nerdy and different (Guess what? So was Seymour !) I was like all the sudden tongue-tied and we went on the roller coasters and the rides and just was WEIRD how things could click so well online but then be totally, mass-different in person. So.....
At the end of the day, when she was trying to make me talk and asking questions and I was just not all there, socially, I was mentally, don't get me wrong, I was well there! But, yeah, I was just about done with the 6-hour date, that included her wanting to go on this bungee jump deal that you pull a ripcord and it shooshes you downward and forward, at breakneck speed, as you gaze at the concrete and hope to God (literally) that thing don't snap!! Or, just whatever could go wrong, at least, I had those thoughts, I was afraid to pull the ripcord. If she wouldn't have pulled that ripcord, I would probably still be high up in the air suspended in a harness

But, yeah, walking at the end toward the exit was a carnival game, I knew that I'd just messed up, I liked this girl but the chemistry I could see was not there because I didn't say much the whole time.
"Hey, you want to play a carnival game," I said. "You play if you want," she said.
So, I played this throw darts at balloons game and hit 2 or 3 balloons and the prize person gave me a stuffed animal sunflower person. I then walked with her to the exit and to her car. I know the Lord leads and she was a very sweet girl, she never said anything mean the whole time we were at the park, I did try that bungee jump thing and didn't want to, she must have liked that. But, other than that bravery, that scared me silly and made my heart go into my throat when she pulled that ripcord, before that even, it was just, plain, sad. I KNEW it could work, but, she, too, was going off to seminary and in her town two hours away and wanted me to go and I knew this before she came to my town for the date. I don't think I ever led her on seriously in eharmony conversation that I was willing to go do that.
But, as she was about to get in her car, I said, 'Here, you have this.' I gave her the sunflower.She gave me a kiss, on the cheek, I think, I can't remember that. I just remember then saying to her,'So, you're goiong to bible college.' She said, 'Yeah, you should go.'
I said, 'Yeah, I just don't see that my life now."

That was it. I am not sure what I am saying by this, except that, I think that she was just about done with me , with NO potential whatsoever as we were walking on our way out of the park, but then stopped at the carnival booth. I don't really know why I said to stop, probably because I wanted to show her how good I was at a game, LOL. Yeah, I know, pathetic. I never thought I would win a nice stuffed animal and this sunflower was pretty cool, especially for a girl. But, God, hmmm, yeah, He had other plans, that is how I view what happened, and, He made everything that was bad for the date become good in that one last try by me to do something.

Idk, I just said this, trying to show a successful ending of a date. I've been on very few dates, like enough to count on one finger, not hand, hmmm, another green? Hmm, nope, not another. Oh, yeah, one other, but she was into speaking in tongues and I was not against it but not speaking in tongues experiences and so it was a nail in the coffin right out of the gate, she left before we even got our order at Red Robin, if I remember correctly. That's different though, I wasn't interested in that girl after tongues speaking said. I don't judge others on it, just saying. Oh, I guess, another, a girl I met, on eharmony, too, met me at applebee's and she brought two friends with her without letting me know she was doing it, it was awkward, LOL, I tried my best but that unopenness pretty much killed things, I got along better with her young married couple guy friend than her.
OK, 'nuf said God bless you, miladies and notmydudes.